Disclaimer: Don't Own Harry Potter

A/N: Just as a fair warning, my Harry Potter in this story, is a real asshole. Not a Draco Malfoy " My Father will hear about this!" asshole, more like Steve Stiffler " Jim you're the only guy I know who's dick needs an instruction manual" ( American Pie 2) kind of asshole. First Person POV.

Chapter 1 Dawn Over a New World

" Harry? What's wrong?"

I shrugged, " Nothing Ginny, you know, besides the typical post war jitters."

" What post war jitters? This should be the happiest day of our lives!"

I frowned at her exclamation, " But at least eighty five of our own died today. Fred and many others. There are more injured. About one hundred Death Eaters got away. They will have to be found."

" But isn't that why you are joining the Aurors?"

I felt a strange urge to tell her that was exactly what he was doing, but I didn't, because it wasn't the truth. I wasn't going to join the Aurors, not while my scar was randomly twitching, even though I knew Voldemort was dead. For good this time, I'd actually died myself to make sure it happened. I sighed heavily as I gazed out at the rising sun. It truly was a dawn over a new world. One without a Dark Lord.

(In America)

" So, James, you hear that the boy Potter did it. He finally killed that fool Voldemort."

James Samson lounged against the wall of his business, taking a break, listening to the gossip of his fool co-workers. Not many in America cared about that hopeless fool Voldemort. He was nothing compared to the other evils out there. James noticed that his manager, Matthew Davidson, was watching with the same uncaring eyes as himself.

What most of the world didn't know, was that in America, somewhere in the Deep South, there was another Lord preparing his own forces. That lord was sitting in the Fast food restaurant with these men. He was sitting really close to the staff door, so he could over hear the staff. He smiled, " Hey, Mikey? You hear that?"

His friend, Michael, shrugged, " I guess, how does this affect us?"

" In more ways than one. It gives us a ground in the U.K. Until now, we haven't been able to get in because of Lord Dumbass. Now, we can go in and fuck it up ourselves."

(Back with Harry)

Ginny told me that Ron and Hermione were getting together, so that meant that we had to get together too. I couldn't place it, but there was something wrong about starting a relationship so soon after the end of a war. After all, I just saw more death in four hours than the last sixteen years of my life. But she wouldn't be dissuaded. For some reason, I felt this tug in my mind to accept. I need to go to Gringotts, or somewhere to get that examined. Is it even possible that I've been controlled this entire time?

I sighed as I went back to Dumbledore's office, cracked open his desk, and pulled out the Elder Wand. I had sworn to Ron and Hermione I wouldn't come back for it, but I couldn't resist. Something in my mind told me that the fight wasn't over yet, and that I couldn't rest on my laurels. That was the reasonable part of my mind.

I put on Death's cloak, and snuck out of the castle. I made my way towards where I had had the first confrontation with Voldemort. Somehow, the path was now emblazoned in my mind, despite that I had never known where I was the entire time. Until I reached Voldemort that is. Suddenly, I stumbled on a misshapen rock. I turn and look at the rock, realizing that it isn't a rock at all. It is the Resurrection Stone.

I pick it up, find the little gold band, and slipped it onto my hand. A blaze of light envelopes me. The Invisibility cloak turns jet black, yet still renders me invisible. The Elder wand is now inscribed with runes on it, I can't read them, but they burn into my mind. The Resurrection stone is no longer cracked, and is a magnificent Onyx stone, with the Peverell seal engraved on it. Then, it happens.

Memories came rushing back to me, stuff I feel that I should have remembered but didn't. I suddenly remember destroying the Dursley House when I was five. I remember apparating around Privet Drive when I was six. I remember seeing Albus Dumbledore hunting me down every time. I remember him using Memory Charms on me.

Then the shocking ones come. I suddenly remember learning a lot about what was going on throughout my school career, but whenever I had a revelation, my mind was washed free. I couldn't see who it was, but it had to be someone who was around me all the time. Even in first and second years, except once… Hermione!

She was the one who was obliviating me whenever I found something out! That's why the only time I ever remembered finding something out, was AFTER she had been petrified by the Basilisk. Or when it was absolutely necessary for me to survive.

There was one from Sixth Year that really pissed me off. I suddenly remembered being at Sirius' Will Reading, but after I became Lord Black, my memory was wiped and I signed it over for Molly Weasley to have everything! I Apparated straight to Diagon Alley, and almost fell on my face in doing so.

The journey was tiring, but I felt my stamina recover almost immediately. I knew it was a mistake, but I hustled over to Gringotts bank. The Guards let me in without a problem, but as soon as I approached a manager, he snapped, " You've got a lot of balls to come here after what YOU did."

I shouted out, " Shut up Manager. I think that after my motivations were revealed, it should have cleared me of wrong doing."

The goblin gave me a slight sneer, but was rather impressed, " Takes a lot of balls to tell a goblin in his own bank to shut up, Mr. Potter. I think you are here to claim lordship of the Potter House? Though there isn't much of a Potter House these days."

It had slipped my mind about House Potter, but I was here to reclaim my lordship over House Black and so informed the Manager of that. The Manager snorted, and beckoned for me to follow him. He led me into an opulent office, and behind a tall desk, sat another, more regal looking goblin. He looked up to see me and the Manager, and he smiled. Now, I learned a long time ago that smiling goblins isn't a good thing. He didn't let me down.

" Well if it isn't Mr. Potter. Here to rob the bank again? What's this I hear about you and House Black?"

I answered, " I was left the title of Lord Black by my godfather Sirius Black. That, coupled with my descent from Dorea Black, allowed me to outlast Draco Malfoy's claim. But, no sooner did I claim my inheritance, was my mind wiped blank."

The goblin smirked, " Well, I can help you there, Lord Black. My name is Director Ragnok. I recall Griphook overseeing that Will Reading, and he was recently executed for breaching contract for several years. Since it involves you, I think you should hear his charges. He was executed, along with his superior, Manager Longshank, for knowingly taking bribes and illegally moving money to the vaults of one Albus Dumbledore. I think this is the fate of House Potter, of which we were luckily able to recover a few items before Dumbledore died. As for House Black, you will have to prove that you were indeed Mind Washed. The papers you signed were very exacting and very legally correct, thus making them very hard to negate."

I sighed in frustration, " Figures,", before pressing the Elder wand to my forehead and drawing out the memory of the Will Reading. Ragnok put it into a vial, pressed a button on his desk, which then morphed into a type of projection screen. He watched the memory several times, before issuing his verdict.

" This memory is very good for someone who forgot it, but I recognize the Elder Wand in your hand. Do you have the others?"

I nodded, and he grunted a small laugh, " Good thing you found them when you did, Lord Black. Exactly two days from now, the signature would have become permanent, and you would have been bound into the Marriage Contract that Molly Weasley and Dumbledore negotiated you into. They have cleansing properties that normally wouldn't be able to be administered. I take it you wish to have this negated?"

I growled, " I wouldn't have almost splinched myself to come to a bank where I was well aware that the owners might be holding a grudge against me if I didn't."

Ragnok laughed gutturally, " Well said, Lord Black. Well, let me get the papers, and I will see you momentarily."

I watched the Director order one of his guards to alert the other Goblins, and he left. I looked down to check the time, before realizing my watch still didn't work. Nicely, the Director had a Muggle Clock sitting on the wall behind his desk, and I saw that I had been away from Hogwarts for over an hour. People would no doubt be worried, but I learned long ago not to give a fuck what everyone thought. Ragnok came back in the room with an evil grin on his face. Not good.

" Well, Lord Black, we were able to negate your pending marriage to Ms Weasley, but it seems something else has come into question. Damages and restitution."

I groaned, " Let me guess, you want me to pay for all the damages to Gringotts?"

" How did you know?,", the goblin answers with fake awe, " Of course, did you not think that we wouldn't want to press damages against you?"

I ask, " How much?"

" Totaling over nine million galleons. Luckily for you, the Black Vault still has most of its money in it, totaling over three hundred million galleons."

I read the paper thrust in front of me thoroughly. I didn't want the Goblins fucking me over, because no matter how good friends you are, they will always chose gold over you. The Resurrection stone on my finger is acting as a sort of translator, so when I ran into some very old, very formal Latin that no one other than a Latin Scholar should be able to translate, it revealed that that one passage said that I was basically selling my soul to the goblins. I reach out with the Elder Wand, and erase the passage, despite Ragnok's protest.

Ragnok was pissed when I signed it after making all the annotations, and then making it permanent so he couldn't go back and edit it all back in later. His displeasure was clear and obvious throughout the rest of the proceedings, in which I became Lord Potter, and discovered that Dumbledore had ass raped my family of all its money and properties. I couldn't do anything about it, because: One, he was already dead and Two, he had already spent all of it by the time he died. What an asshole.

Ragnok thought this way too, " That fool. Not only did he acquire a huge debt, he broke a hundred treaties and international laws to pay them back, and then he goes and dies with no heir or way of paying it back. Unfortunately, since his brother Aberforth is nearing his own death, and he too, has no heir, the debts will have to go unpaid until someone rises up to claim the Dumbledore House. Since Dumbledore was all cuddly with Grindelwald, and Aberforth is extremely anti-social due to being a daemon worshipper, I highly doubt anyone has their blood anymore. It would be an extremely faint claim at best. Speaking of blood claims, we shall perform an inheritance test."

" I already took one of those back in the memory, remember?"

Ragnok frowned, " Cut the puns, Lord Potter-Black. The records were destroyed by Griphook. So, place your hand on this pedestal right here, and we shall begin. As you know, our tech has advanced a little since the Black Will Reading. Now, we can use the 3D runes for Blood Trees as well. Really cuts down on the clutter, let me tell you."

Harry watched as his father's line extended all the way up to Ignotus Peverel, as he already knew because of the legends. His mother's line was actually a bunch of Squibs for about three generations, when it ran into the Peverel Line as well, this time, to Cadmus Peverel. He noticed that Cadmus' last male descendent married a Dumbledore and changed his last name, defying tradition. Ragnok pointed this out, " Well, of all the ironies, Lord Potter. Here we were, talking about how hard it would be to track down a Dumbledore Heir, when in fact, you are one. Your claim is extremely weak at best, and wouldn't be recognized unless Aberforth recognizes you as his Heir and names you Lord Dumbledore in his Will."

I shrugged, " Why would I try to revive a house that has done nothing but ruin other people's lives?"

Ragnok answered, " The goodness of your heart?"

I laughed, " Was that supposed to be a joke?"

" Greater Good isn't looking so good anymore is it?"

I nodded grimly, " It hasn't ever since I found out all the Evil things the Greater Good was doing."

I took my leave of Ragnok, and headed toward the Gringotts Apparation point. With that, I headed back to Hogwarts, ready to raise holy hell.

(Back in America, Somewhere in Virginia)

" My fellows, the time has come for us to rise against the Tyranny and throw down those who dare to put us down! The time for the corrupt government to be overthrown is coming quickly! Those who dare to defy us will be destroyed, those who levy uncaring taxes against us shall be overthrown! We are not to be taken for granted!"

Another man stood up at the meeting, " This time, we will not surrender! Charley Daniels always said that the South was gonna do it again, and he was right! We will die before we see that **** in office."

One of the more rational members chirped up, " But as Mr. Davidson said, the **** isn't supposed to office until 2008!"

The leader shouted, " That is why we must act now! We cannot allow such degradation of the society to continue! We, the Workers, must rise up and overthrow the oppressing government!"

A giant cheer went up into the warm Southern night.

(At Hogwarts)

I smiled at all the outraged faces that met me in the Headmaster's office. McGonagall didn't think I should have been sitting in the Headmaster's chair, but I kindly reminded her that I died and came back to fight Voldemort, meaning that I sacrificed more than most people did. I think I deserve at least a little sense of triumph, considering nothing I do for the rest of my life will likely ever overshadow this.

Ginny was pissed because I had walked out on her. Though, as I pointed out to her, I didn't recall her being my master, and that I didn't need her permission to take a walk to Gringotts. That shut her up, and got Hermione and Ron real nervous. To make things even better, I got both my wands out, and made sure to twiddle the Elder Wand with the same hand I wore the Resurrection Ring on. I also made sure that my cloak was hanging over the chair so that they could actually see it.

Hermione was the first one to say something, "Ha-Harry? I thought you said you didn't want the Elder Wand?"

I gave a non-committal shrug, " I don't know, it is mine after all. Next?"

Ron decided to engage his Foot in the Mouth Disease, " So, are you going dark? You going to claim you're the Master of Death?"

I knew better than get mad, because that would only give credence to Ron's claims, " Of course not Ron. But it depends on what you are asking as to my answer. For you see, I've found out some very interesting things in the hour or so I've been gone. I think you would like to see my other rings as well."

I held up my right hand, showing them the Potter and Black Rings. Since the Resurrection Stone was basically the Peverel ring, I didn't bother to wear the Peverel ring. I noticed the shock on Ron, Ginny, and George's faces. Checkmate bitches.

Hermione was about to say something, when Aberforth came bumbling out of the Fireplace. To be honest, not even Nymphadora Tonks had been as bad as me in the Floo, but Aberforth just took the cake. Maybe worshipping Daemons takes away your balance?

He opened things up, " I just got a notice from Gringotts. Harry, it appears that you are the only surviving person with any blood of the Noble and Ancient House of Dumbledore."

I smiled, " So I guess Cadmus' last male heir marrying into House Dumbledore, and then one of your ancestors marrying a Black and someone on the Evans Magical line, before it became squibs, was a good thing then. I don't know about that Noble part though."

Aberforth frowned, " Sorry about all the shit my brother put you and your family through, but I still think he thought he killed our sister. I've watched the memory many times, and I am utterly convinced it was Grindelwald. I will tell you, I am nothing like him."

I smiled again, " Don't worry, Aberforth. I have no intentions of holding you responsible for what HE did. I think the goblins said something about debts?"

Aberforth nodded, " Indeed, Harry. They said that since you were the last person with any Dumbledore blood, then all debts my brother accumulated by taking House Potter's Assets were forgiven as long as I named you the Heir."

I was a little surprised by that, " I didn't stipulate that, I assure you, Aberforth."

Aberforth nodded his head, when McGonagall presently put her foot in her mouth, " Can we get on with this? I have more important things to be doing than listening to Family Feud."

Aberforth answered for me, " Based on what Gringotts said, the shit is about to fly. More accurately, I think my brother is about to be frozen in Hell."

McGonagall inclined her head, " What do you mean?"

Aberforth whispered to McGonagall, " He said Hell would freeze over before Harry ever discovered his schemes. I think he was wrong."

I let loose the broadside if you would, " Well, I guess that now it is time for me and the Weasleys to discuss the debts they owe to House Potter AND House Black. Oh, and you better pay attention too, Hermione. Bring Molly and Arthur Weasley to me. NOW!"

I said the last word with enough force to blast George out of the room. Aberforth jeered, " So the waiting begins."

Luckily for all of us, George practically carried Arthur and Molly Weasley into the Headmaster's office. I wasn't happy at all to see them. They came in, and Molly asked, " What's going on Harry? George said you were angry."

" Angry might be selling me short by about five miles, woman. And you will refer to me as Lord Potter for the duration of this meeting,", I said with more than challenging inflictions. Reaching into the Headmaster's desk, I pulled out a long roll of parchment. I unfurled it, and showed it to Molly and Arthur. They didn't surprise me in the least, " Well, what's the problem here?"

I hissed, " The problem, is that this is a Marriage Contract. Of which, I was never informed of, nor was my opinion in the matter taken into consideration. Of course, now wouldn't have been the best time, because I was under enough Compulsion, Glamour, and Memory charms to put me in a worse state than Neville's Parents. However, it is such great fortune that the Deathly Hallows acting as a cleanser to the one who becomes the Master of Death. This is most fortuitous. Isn't it?"

They all looked at me with anger, which only pissed me off further. Rather than repent, and throw themselves at my feet begging for forgiveness, they stood there looking at me like it was I who did something wrong, " What? No one saying sorry? Nothing?"

Molly erupted, " Potter! You are an ungrateful little swine if you refuse that contract with Ginny!"

I laugh in her face, before clicking my fingers, and the parchment erupted in flames, " By the power vested in me as Lord Black, I hear by negate this contract on grounds of coercion, corruption, bribery, and misrepresentation."

Arthur rung the bell next," Misrepresentation? Harry, Dumbledore was your guardian. It was within his right to negotiate that…."

I wouldn't hear it, " Sorry, Arthur. Dumbledore was never legally my guardian. After I agreed to pay for all the Gringotts damages, the Goblins proved most useful in determining how, where, and who wronged me. But, I'll let you in on a little secret. If Miss Ginny here hadn't said something about the Elder Wand earlier, I would never have come back for it, and gone into the woods searching for the Ring. The Goblins told me that in exactly two days from now, that Contract would have been made permanent, and not even God or the Devil himself contesting it would have done any good. I got lucky. YOU did not."

Ron just blew up like the moron he was, " I don't know why we're putting up with this. You're in a contract Harry! Just accept that you are marrying Ginny so that we can get on with preparing Fred for burial. You're just making things harder on yourself."

I notice Aberforth whispering something to McGonagall, and she nodded. Like a consensus to not get involved if the curses, or fists for that matter, started flying. I looked at Ron straight in his face, " Says the man that left me and Hermione out in the woods for months. Says the man that has never, under extreme duress, stood up for me unless there was no way for him to get out of it. I guess the money doesn't cover that eh?"

Ron whimpered, but Hermione chirped up, " What are you getting at Harry?"

I smiled, " What I'm getting at, is that Ron is an arrogant piece of shit that I wouldn't let my dogs piss on."

Ron hit first. He roared with anger, and right before he reached the Headmaster's desk, I froze him. I flicked the Elder Wand, and he flew back into the wall. At that moment, I heard several voices cry, Imperio!

I laughed at them as the gold blasts hit me, and simply bounced into the ground. I looked up to see George, Arthur, Molly, Ginny, and Hermione all with their wands pointing at me. One flick of the Elder Wand later, and they all flew into the wall, their wands fluttering towards me. I snatched them out of the air, separated each, and sat them on the desk. I galled them, " What? No love lost between friends right?"

George whispered, " You dare call us friends?"

" It is more than you deserve."

We all turned to look at Dumbledore's Portrait. I joked, " Trying to absolve yourself in death eh Albus?"

Dumbledore shook his head, " No, Lord Potter. I have had a long time to think about my mistakes, with a little help from Severus Snape, ", the portrait gestured at the angry looking portrait of Severus Snape, " Know that I never, ever condoned the extremes that the Weasleys employed on you. Nor those used by Ms. Granger either. And Aberforth! I'm afraid you're quite right. It is getting very cold down here in Hell."

Aberforth snickered at his brother's remark. Dumbledore continued, " My exact instructions were to limit Harry's abilities in a way that lowered his power, yet still allowed him to accomplish his goals. My instructions did not include obliviating him after every girl he laid with, or every time he figured something out, or every time he learned a really powerful spell. I am sorry Harry, but you were always intended to be a martyr and a weapon. I honestly never thought I would be having this conversation."

I whispered in a very low voice, " You've got problems old man."

Dumbledore's portrait just chuckled, " I'm as queer as a three dollar bill ok? My opinion of good and evil is very exacting."

I whisper back, " A wise man once told me this, ' There is no such thing as Good and Evil, only power and those too weak to seek it.' I think old Tommy boy had a good point, Dumbledore. If you had ever used your full power against him, he would never had stood a chance. If you had just tried to kill me when he possessed me, then I would have had my episode then, and not in the middle of battle. Maybe a lot of these people, like Sirius and Fred, maybe they don't die Dumbledore. Hindsight is 20/20 after all."

Dumbledore simply hung his head in his portrait. Aberforth looked on approvingly. I turned back to the Weasleys, " I'm warning you now. Do not ever, under any circumstances, ever try to make amends with me. For now, I am granting you a pass on my vengeance, but I do not forget. I've got a hit list, and I will execute it. For now, I'm giving you the chance to go live your lives in peace, and not have to worry about little ole me anymore. If you hear by swear to never mutter, insult, give voice to, speak, dictate, or in any other way speak my name, I will leave you in peace unless given other reason. If you should ever violate those terms, any of you, I will be notified and the punishment will be harsh. Do you swear?"

Unsurprisingly, they all swore the oath. I smiled, " Good, now, the only times you will ever see me again, are at Fred's Funeral, because he deserves my presence, and when my solicitor comes calling about collecting all that money you swindled from me. Good day."

I sank back down into the chair as the Weasleys and Hermione left. McGonagall was a little angry, but she held her tongue in check. Aberforth simply smiled, commenting, " You little bastards deserved it,", and he then turned back to me, " Now you know why I was so hesitant about helping you."

I nodded, " Indeed I do, Aberforth. I know better now than I did before. McGonagall, could you please fetch me Katie Bell, Alicia Spinnet, and Angelina Johnson, as well as tell Cho Chang to meet me twenty minutes after I dismiss the previous three?"

McGonagall just looked at me like I was stupid, "Why those?"

I chuckled, " I think Alicia and Angelina might like to know why their boyfriends could always afford anything even before they started up their Joke Shop. And me and Katie have something to discuss, involving lost memories."

Dumbledore's portrait laughed, " I can't wait to see this."

Aberforth looked eager, " Absolutely. I'm going to have to see the revelation."

Snape began to chat with Dumbledore, well, it wasn't really chatting, it was Snape yelling at Dumbledore for sending Harry on a suicide mission, when McGonagall came in with the three. No doubt the Weasley bros had reached them first, because they all looked pissed. Such good friends I had back in school….

" What do you want, Potter?"

I flicked the Elder wand, and Dumbledore's Pensieve came fluttering out, " To show you some things I think you might like to know about the Weasleys."

Before they could protest, I pulled the memories free, jumped the desk, and shoved all three into the memory with me.

A/N: So Harry sets off on his campaign of Indirectly ruining people's lives. Interesting twist though. Instead of being the typical Gryffindor/Ravenclaw/Slytherin/Hufflepuff heir, he is Dumbledore's long lost Great-Great-Great-Great Cousin.