Hey guys, just a oneshot that popped into my head while listening to 'Stay With Me' by Danity Kane. Suggest you listen to it while reading.
Stay With Me
(Please, LISTEN TO THE SONG while reading!! The music has an effect the words don't give!)
"I made my choice a long time ago and I'm never gonna leave you!" The words echoed inside his mind, taunting him.
"Rose…" He whispered, his voice near inaudible. He shakily took a step toward the pristine white wall that mocked his loss. She's gone. He choked back a sob, taking another step.
You promised.
His chest tightened as he continued forward, making his breaths short and frantic.
You let her down. Just like everyone else you lo…cared for. You let her down.
He finally reached the offending wall that separated him from his companion, his other half, his Rose.
You love her.
His hearts couldn't take anymore and the tears formed, blurring his vision. He reached up and touched the wall. He could feel her on the other side, crying like he couldn't, pressed against the wall. He slid his hands up and lay his face against it, and, sensing she had done the same, let himself revel in this last brush of her, this last embrace. He could feel her heart racing, could smell her tears, and he could feel her grief, her loss and devastation that matched his own.
She still loves you.
He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to the cold hard surface, praying she could feel the secret kiss.
You loved her, and she's trapped for it.
The Doctor could take no more, and ripped himself from the wall, turning to walk away.
She'll never know.
His knees buckled in shock, and he fell to the floor. "Rose." He sobbed her name, the tears finally escaping as the last of his defenses shattered like his hearts. He fell apart on the cold unforgiving floor, his soul baring itself in his golden tears. He cried for his shattered hearts, his broken soul, and his empty life. But more than any of those, he cried for his lost love. His Rose.
She would never know how much any of it had meant; she'd never understand what she had done for him, been for him. The woman who'd given him something to live for when he was still reeling from the loss of his people, the one who'd stood by him through a regeneration and despite the dangers and secrets and things he'd done, the only one to promise him forever.
He lay there for a long time, longer than he should have dared. Only when the stairwells shook with the sound of an army of boots rushing upward did he drag himself up and out to the Tardis. He sank into the chair and stared at the controls. Something began to ring, and as he looked around, he found her favorite blue jacket hanging on the rail. He reverently picked it up and held it close before pulling out the loud phone. It read 'Sara Calling', probably one of her friends. He tossed it aside roughly, inexplicably angry at the girl for not immediately knowing Rose was gone. How could her friends not know? Did they not see how everything had darkened when Rose was torn from him? How nothing was right anymore? All of time and space should mourn the loss of such a spirit! The phone clattered onto the grating loudly, knocking over the purse Rose had left beside the chair. Another small gadget fell out and turned on, catching the Doctor's attention.
It was an MP3 player, and listening to it had been Rose's favorite form of relaxation between their crazy adventures. The Doctor remembered all the times they'd sat on the floor together, just listening to the Tardis surround them with Rose's favorite music. He gently hooked it up and sat back with his eyes closed, desperately hoping that when he opened them she would be there beside him, where she belonged. The Tardis hummed softly, trying to tell him this wasn't a good idea. He refused to acknowledge her warnings, keeping his eyes tightly shut. The Tardis conceded, and the soft sounds of a piano swept him into his memories.
Raindrops fall from everywhere.
I reach out for you, but you're not there.
The Doctor's throat constricted painfully as he recognized the song. He could see Rose beside him now, her lips moving only slightly as she sang along.
So I stood waiting in the dark.
With your picture in my hand, story of a broken heart.
The Doctor could see her laughing over the first picture they took together, just after his regeneration. It was Christmas day, and they had just defeated the blood-controlling aliens. They were standing outside the Tardis when Rose gasped and ran inside. When she came back with a camera, the Doctor couldn't stop laughing.
The second, and last, picture, was just after they had escaped the hospital in New (to the 25th or so) New York. She had dragged him to the Tardis, shoved him in the chair, fallen into his lap, and snapped the picture before he could blink. They were both grinning madly, and it became her favorite picture, always with her.
Stay with me, don't let me go.
'Cause I can't be without you.
Just stay with me, and hold me close.
Because I built my world around you.
And I don't want to know what it's like without you.
So stay with me, just stay with me.
The Doctor couldn't breathe. The pain was even worse, and he considered opening his eyes and stopping the song. But his mind flashed him a picture of Rose, tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth as she smiled and let herself be completely absorbed by the music. He could feel her hand in his again, even if just faintly, and he refused to let go.
I'm trying and hoping for the day,
When my touch is enough to take the pain away.
'Cause I searched for so long, the answer's clear:
We'll be okay, if we don't let it disappear.
The Doctor watched Rose dance around the Tardis, saw her rush in and out of the door, and looked on as she fell asleep on the chair and the platform and the floor. He felt her hand slip into his and hold tight and chase away the dark thoughts.
Stay with me, don't let me go.
'Cause I can't be without you.
Just stay with me, and hold me close.
Because I built my world around you.
And I don't want to know what it's like without you.
So stay with me, just stay with me.
He could see all the times he'd held her, could still feel her arms locked around him. Why hadn't he held her longer? Why had he ever let go? Every time, he had come so close to showing her, to letting her in. She never knew that she was the only one he held like that. And now she never would.
I've searched my heart over so many many times
No you and I is like no stars to light the sky at night
Our picture hangs up to remind me of the days
You promised me we'd always be and never go away
He'd taken her across the stars, showed her so much more than any other. He'd given her an adventure, but nothing more. And still she'd promised him forever. She'd saved him over and over, in ways she never knew. She'd molded him into a better man, slowly and gently. How could he go on without her? How could he travel as 'just the Doctor' now, when he'd been half of 'the Doctor and Rose'? She'd taken the best parts of him through the wall with her.
That's why I need you to stay
Stay with me, don't let me go.
'Cause I can't be without you.
Just stay with me, and hold me close.
Because I built my world around you.
And I don't want to know what it's like without you.
Stay with me, stay with me, stay.
Stay.
She couldn't stay, and he couldn't go after her. Why? Why would he never have the chance for goodbye? It was cruel, so cruel, to rip his Rose from her Doctor.
So I stand waiting in the dark.
The simple haunting line sparked his brain into action. He had to see her one last time, had to tell her. It was supposed to be impossible, sure, but wasn't that what she'd said? "The Doctor's always doing the 'impossible', it's what makes it fun!" Yes, yes she'd said that! And he'd do it again, for her. If he couldn't get her back, he'd at least make sure she knew! He leapt up and threw himself at the controls, flipping switches and turning dials and pulling levers.
He came across the MP3 and paused to close his eyes one more time. The Tardis hummed softly in understanding and restarted the song. He let it flow through him, solidifying his resolve to do the impossible one more time. She would know, she had to know. He would do whatever it took, even burn up a sun, to say goodbye, to tell her he loved her. His eyes slid open, and he pushed a button, sending the Tardis off. The Doctor would see his Rose one last time, and she would know her Doctor loved her.
Fin
Hope you enjoyed, I know it's sad, but I think the Doctor's side of Doomsday needs to be shown.
-Red
