Wow! Finally, managed to get something togethor for this fandom which I've been telling myself I would do for ages! Though I was definitely not thinking of making my first transformers fic a long ramble-ly bit of pure angst, but was the first thing I written for this fandom that I was half pleased with.

So, I hope I've got Ironhide's character alright and that you enjoy this!

Playing At War

Ironhide is the obvious choice to teach new recruits because he's seen it all, and he probably knows more ways to offline a mech than any other Autobot. Just that tells you everything you need to know about the sorry state Cybertron is in really.

Each time, he thinks he'll be immune to it, and yet these new mechs, none of them naïve, the war's been here for too long and touched too far for that, but still with that shade of innocence in their optics, still manage to stir up that same cocktail of emotions in his spark. There's a twinge of jealousy, was he ever that unconciously helpless? Surely, he once too could look at a mech and believe that they were invincible, and not instinctively search for weaknesses. Once thought himself indestructible. Pity winds through his systems as well. Half of them always sign up to kill without fully thinking through what that actually means. Then there's those who follow everything a little too closely, who have that cold gleam in their optics that means that they think about killing far too much who are just as worrying… ah, slagitall! He's got a reputation to maintain! But there's the protectiveness, slipped in before he could do anything about it. He cares for them all despite himself, even the worst little fraggers that he's constantly threatening to use as demonstrations of the full power of his cannons. It's going to hurt when he gets the news that they've been reduced down to a couple of microchips and scorched bits of metal that someone dragged back in a container.

So he teaches them as best as he can. That you keep your gun in top condition at all times. Clean it after every battle, check it every time before you go into recharge, because if that thing jams on the battlefield, Primus help you. That you never, on any account, get into close combat with a Decepticon because that's just what those claws were designed for, and they'll rip out your spark chamber before you can process that they've moved. But, if a Decepticon does get that close, then your only hope is to smash their optics then rip out the primary energon lines in the neck.

He's too kind to tell them that they're just playing at war in the calm, controlled atmosphere of the training centre, in the clean air of the shooting range and the laughter that carries from the tangled groups mock wrestling. That's it far different on the battlefield, where you never fire straight on, but always uphill or curled around the edge of a meagre defense though thick smoke desperately praying that you can trust your sensors and that some sneaky fragger isn't sneaking up behind you. Trying to fight on, even when you've got warnings blaring at you that you're losing energon far too quickly, and there's a good portion of wiring and plating missing that was there a click ago! When you're focused to the point where your processors have locked down on everything but the sheer need to survive.

It's going to be hard for them, their first time on the field. Ironhide knows that this is why the Autobots are struggling. Every single one of them isn't just fighting enemies that are generally far tougher than themselves, but waging an inner battle as well. They're all idealistic, perceptive, spark-far-too-big-for-its-case glitches from the Prime down. They should be creating, it goes against their very natures to destroy. The Decepticons have it easy in that sense. Part of their recruitment process seems to be require either being completely sparkless or have most of your wiring crossed. Though, he has seen Decepticon recruits before still sane enough to have a sense of horror in their optics. Potential death in front of them, and certain death behind them if they don't perform or try to turn back. Usually, they join the ranks of the lunatics soon enough, pushed through fear to something unspeakable beyond it.

Ironhide is happy to teach new Autobots to defend themselves. They need to know, and at the end of training, he can truthfully say I've done the best for you that I could; now you better look after yourselves or you'll be feeling my cannons on your aft. But he most definitely doesn't want to be there to see their faces when they see their first pile of twisted bodies, leaking energon, when someone is blown to pieces next to them, when they watch the optics of their first kill gutter and go out.

He wonders how long it will be before this latest bunch of new mechs start to curse him for what he's taught them.