I am well into my book when Nicky comes into my cubicle. "Yo Vause!" I sigh and put the book down. "What do you want Nicky?" "There's a whole new batch of newbies coming in. Wanna go check 'em out?" I sigh again. There's not a lot of fun in this place and new arrivals are a big deal. The girls like to go and check them out, picking out the weak and the vulnerable. Or in Nicky's case, the girl most likely to fuck her. "Nah. Go ahead." I tell her. "You're loss" she says. I shrug and pick up my book and Nicky goes off looking for someone else to have fun with.

I finish my book and check the time. My only two choices are sleep or dinner. Reluctantly I get out of my bunk and find my shoes. Might as well see what's going on in the dining room. Maybe Red made something edible for a change. I grab a tray with a sigh of disappointment. No steak and lobster tonight. More like mystery meat and jello. At least its red jello.

I drop my tray onto the table and take a seat between Nicky and Morello. They're still talking about the newbies. Apparently there was one girl who looked like she might be a welcome addition to our group. And if Nicky has her way, a new bunkmate. I raise an eyebrow and she throws her mane of hair over her shoulder towards a table in the back. I put my glasses on and turn to look. Sitting alone at the table is a girl with long blonde hair. She's thin and wiry and, by estimation, about my height. I can see Nicky's attraction. The girl is gorgeous. She's also not paying anyone any attention, something unusual for someone new to prison. She's mindlessly eating, something else the newbies find difficult to do, and staring off into space.

I turn back to the table. Nicky takes a guess at my thoughts. "No way Vause!" she says. "She's mine. I saw her first. You didn't want to come remember?" "I remember" I say as I glance back over my shoulder at the girl. Nicky slaps her hand hard on the table, making everybody but me jump. "Fine. Just fine" she says. "But I got dibs on the next one." "Sure Nick" I mumble as I grab my tray off the table and move towards the table in the back.

I set my tray gently on the table across from the new girl and sit down. "Hey" I say to her. She slowly lets her green eyes drift toward me. I feel a familiar tightening in my stomach. "Damn Vause" I think to myself. "You really have it bad for skinny blondes!" I hold my hand out to her. "I'm Alex. Alex Vause." She stares at my hand as if she's unsure what to do with it. "I'm Parker" she says. She never does take my hand and I self-consciously let it fall to the table. Apparently the conversation is over as her eyes go back to staring off into the distance. I try again. "Parker. Parker what?" She shrugs. "Just Parker." "Well OK 'Just Parker'" I say. "If you need anything, you come get me. Or send someone. You're not allowed near the cubicles until you get assigned." She brings her eyes back to mine for a second. "OK." And now the conversation is really over. I get up and throw my uneaten food away, saving the jello for Nicky as a peace offering, then I head back to my bunk.

I lay awake on my bunk for most of the night, staring at the ceiling. I can't help but think about Parker, not just for the obvious reasons but also her demeanor. Yeah she's a beautiful girl and I suppose you could say she's my type. But there's something else about her. Lots of girls come in here thinking they're tough and no one can get to them. Or they're scared out of their minds and keep to themselves out of fear. Neither of these seemed to apply to Parker. She wasn't frightened or putting up a show or anything like that. It was more like it didn't matter that she was in a Federal women's prison.

The lights never really go out in this place so I have no idea what time it is when I finally give up on sleep. We're not supposed to be out of our bunks at night but I need to move around. I can always pretend I'm on an emergency bathroom break if I get caught. I walk slowly past Nicky's bunk. Her room-mate is snoring and Nick is sleeping with her pillow over her head, just her wild hair sticking out. I keep wandering towards the bathroom area when I get the notion to go walk past the newbie bunks. They are all kept together in larger bunk rooms until they get assignments in a week or so. I'm way out of bounds now so I move slowly, trying not to attract any attention. As I pass by the newbie room, I peak in and see Parker. All of her room mates are asleep but she is sitting cross legged on a top bunk, the same blank stare on her face. I raise my hand in a wave and she does the same. I feel like that's some sort of progress and I go back to my bunk and fall fast asleep.

The next morning at breakfast, I grab Parker and bring her to our table. She still doesn't seem interested in making friends but she sits next to me with a small smile before letting her eyes go off into the distance. Nicky gives me a puzzled look and I shrug. We all thought we had seen everything by now, the scared, the bullies, the needy. Parker was something entirely new. She just didn't seem to care. Still, when she did make eye contact with me, I could see a great intelligence at work. She wasn't a blank book. She was thinking. It only made me want to know more about her.

Over the next week, I got to know Parker as best I could. She didn't like to be touched. Most of the time she didn't want to talk though she would answer questions. Usually, her answers didn't make a lot of sense to me. I asked her why she was here and she looked at me as if I was the one who was strange. "I'm a thief." She said as if that answered the question entirely. "How long?" "What do you mean 'how long?'" she asked. "I've been a thief most of my life." I laughed. I thought she was making a joke but she just gave me one of her stares. "OK Parker. How long are you going to be enjoying the hospitality here at Litchfield?" "Ohhh" she says. "Not long". "A year? Less?" She shrugs. "Probably just a couple more days." "Honey" I tell her "you are one strange cat!" This time she looks at me with a smile. "You're funny" she says. "I like you." Okay then. She likes me. We sit for a while without talking until the call for dinner comes. "Oh goody." She says. "Food!" I shake my head as she stands up and then she really surprises me. She holds out her hand for me. I gently take it and she pulls me up off the bunk with more strength than I would have thought possible.

After dinner, I am hanging out in my bunk, trying to re-read my book when Nicky sticks her head in. "Yo!" "Hey Nick. What's up?" "Nothing" she says, "just wanted to know what was up with the Ice Queen." "Who?" I ask. "C'mon Alex. We all want to know." I put my book down. "Nothing is up with Parker. She's strange for sure but in a good way, I think." Nicky shakes her head. "Vause, you have it bad!" "What? No!" I give her my best 'whatcha talking 'bout Willis?' look. She just laughs and climbs into my bunk with me. I slide down and wrap my arms around her. She lets out a contented sigh and I pull her closer, pushing her hair back so I can snuggle against her neck.

Nicky is the closest thing I have to a friend here. She's my confidant and sometimes lover, the only person I feel like I can trust. What is the quote about 'strange bedfellows'? That certainly describes us. There are 100 of us women incarcerated here in Litchfield and I can't think of one who I would be friends with in the real world. We're all criminals. Murderers, thieves, drug dealers and drug users. Nick and I are probably the last two who would ever come together. We lived in completely different worlds. I was a jetsetter, more money than I knew what do with, constant partying. Nicky was a junkie, living on the streets. The irony is that my lifestyle was funded by heroin smuggling while Nicky's was ruined by the same drug. In all reality, I probably was responsible for the over dose that almost killed her. Nicky is the reason I will never sell drugs again. I hope she is strong enough never to touch them again either.

One of the worst parts of prison is the lack of human contact. Sometimes, all you really need is just to be touched by another person. Even Nicky, who seems to get all the sex she wants, is lonely. Lying together, just touching without any other agenda, it's something we both need sometimes.

I sense another presence in the room. I lift my head and see Parker standing just inside my cubicle, just staring with one of her blank looks. "Damn" I mutter as I push Nicky away and sit up. Nicky is swearing too as she finds herself on the floor. "How? Why? Parker? I didn't hear you" I stammer. Not hearing someone sneaking up on you is a dangerous proposition for both the sneaker and the sneakee. Parker doesn't seem to understand that. I wonder if moving silently is just her normal modus operandi. I suppose it would be a good habit for the super thief she says she is.

Still, I am embarrassed to have had Parker find me spooning with Nicky. I try to explain but the words aren't coming out the way I want. Parker just shrugs. "I'll talk to you later Alex" she says as she turns and walks silently away.

From behind me I hear Nicky snort. Finally she can't hold her laughter in any longer. I turn and give her the evil eye but that just makes her laugh harder. "Damn Vause!" she laughs. "Man you DO have it BAD for the Ice Queen." "Parker" I murmur. Nicky laughs again. I whirl around on her. "Shut up Nick!" I tell her. "It's not like that. I just find her interesting." "Don't forget about the hot bod" she says. "I bet she's real good with those long fingers of hers." I glare at her. My voice is slow and deliberate when I begin to talk. "Nicky…I told you…" She hears the threat in my voice but she laughs anyway. She gets up off the floor holding her hands up in defense. "Yah. Whatever Vause. Catch you later." She slips by me into the aisle and walks away. I watch her until she turns the corner then run my fingers through my hair and flop back down on my cot. "Fuck Nicky! Fuck Parker!" I mutter as I try to push the conversation out of my mind.

The next morning I am up and out of my bunk early. I want to take a shower before the rest of the girls show up. I also want to catch Parker if I can. I've been watching but I can't figure out her schedule. She just seems to come and go on her own. For someone as tall and as beautiful as she is, no one seems to notice her at all. I suspect that she knows this and I am sure she does it on purpose. I asked her about it and her answer was "it's just thief stuff". Not being a thief per se, I guess I wouldn't know. Just one more thing to ponder about late at night.

After my shower, I towel dry my hair and pull on my khakis. Still not satisfied, I go the long way back to my bunk, taking me past Parker's cubicle. I glance in and my mouth goes dry. Parker is in the middle of the room, completely folded over, her hands on her heels and her nose on her knees. I clear my throat, partly to get her attention and partly in an attempt to swallow. She slowly rises up, smiles at me and, with her arms stretched above her head, then lowers herself into a perfect backbend. My mouth goes dry again as I try to choke out some words. "Good morning Parker". She raises one leg straight up in the air and kicks over to a standing position. "Hi Alex. What are you doing here?" I'm still struggling to find my voice. "I..uh..I was just..um..wondering what you were up to." I tell her. "I'm stretching" she says. "Yes you are" I mumble. She continues. "You never know when you might need to do bendy stuff" she says casually. I choke again. "Do you want to stretch with me?" she asks. Does she really have no idea what she is saying? I can't decide if she's serious or playing me. Either way, I don't think I really care. She drops to a straddle position on the floor and I join her. She puts her feet on my ankles and starts to pull on my hands as she lays backwards. The stretch feels good but I can't stop thinking about how if she pulled me just a little bit harder… I shake the thought out of my head as she lets go and sits up. "My turn" she says as we switch positions. I take a hold of her hands. They are long and slender and feel very very strong. Slowly I pull her until she is completely flat to the floor, the only thing holding her in place is my feet on her ankles. She's very close and I imagine I can feel the warmth of her breath through my khakis. I jump to my feet. For the first time, I see an expression on Parker's face. Surprise? Disappointment? I can't tell. I realize that I am salivating and I wipe my mouth quickly before I actually drool on myself. "I gotta go!" I tell her as I turn and hurry out. "Will you come see me later?" she calls after me.

I don't answer her. I know I will see her all over but I don't know that I can be that close to her again. Not without touching her. Parker doesn't like to be touched. She made that very clear. It makes the few times we've made physical contact that much more intoxicating. Damn. Nicky's right. I've got it bad for this girl.

I spend the next week with Parker. She's still an enigma but I think I am starting to get her. What the other girls think is snobbish, I realize is just her inherent awkwardness. She says crazy things sometimes but she really means what she is saying. The way she moves silently and unnoticed around the prison makes me believe her about her claims of being a thief, a good thief. I asked her one time, if she was so good, how did she get caught? She just shrugged. "It happens." She said.

I started paying attention to what Parker was doing all day. Besides staying limber and sneaking around, she also seemed to be examining every inch of the facility. She spent one day with her head down, examining all of the baseboards and air vents. Kicking at things, noticing what was loose, measuring with her fingers. Another day she stared at the ceiling all day. In the yard, she constantly walked the perimeter of the grounds, occasionally stopping to kick at a rock or pull on the chain link fence.

I always invite Parker to eat at our table. Sometimes she does but she eats silently, staring off as she does, not participating in the conversation. Other times she sits by herself. She's doing that tonight. I want to go sit with her but I am starting to get when she wants to talk and when she wants to be alone. I have my back to her, I'm trying to talk to my friends. Nicky is sitting across from me. She looks at me and over my shoulder at Parker, squinting her eyes, doing her best to figure the girl out. Suddenly, she slaps the table and this time I jump along with everyone else. She looks me straight in the eyes. "Vause you are such a dumb fuck!" "What now Nick?" "The Ice Queen, Parker, she's staring at you. She wants you Vause. And you're sitting here with us." "That's not what she's thinking" I reply. "Oh yeah? How the hell would anyone know what that one is thinking?" She asks. I surreptitiously glance over my shoulder. Parker does seem a bit more focused on what's going on around her. And she does seem to be staring at my back. Staring or studying. I look again and she catches my eye. I think I can see the tiniest bit of pink in her cheeks before she drops her eyes to her empty tray. She snatches it off the table and hurries out of the dining hall. I look down at my own tray. I'm not sure what to make of this. Nicky punches me in the arm – hard! "Go after her you idiot" she says. "Yeah" I mumble as I untangle my legs from the supports of the table and try to stand. Nick has her arm raised for another assault on my arm. I grab my tray and, as I move towards the door, I hear the table full of women behind me break into snickers and giggles.

Parker isn't in her bunk. I am disappointed although I am not sure exactly what I am disappointed about. I slowly walk back towards my bunk. When I enter my cubicle, I find Parker sitting cross legged in the middle of my bunk. "Well this is a surprise" I tell her as I sit down next to her, my feet dangling over the side of the bed. "What?" she asks? "A surprise? How am I a surprise?" I laugh. "Parker, everything you do is a surprise to me." She cocks her head and thinks about that for a second. "I guess I could be a surprise then. Do you like surprises?" "I love surprises" I tell her. She smiles. I look into her eyes and I have to look away, confused again.

We both have green eyes. Mine are an unusual green, kind of milky, very intense. I think they go very well with my pale skin and black hair. I get lots of girls by flashing my eyes at them. Parker's green eyes are different. They are emerald green and they shine with a fire that I've not seen before. They bely a great intelligence at work. I realize that she is not disinterested in what is going on around her. More like she's studying us, always watching, making mental notes.

I look back to Parker and she's just sitting, watching me with a calm look on her face. A small smile on her lips betrays the blank look on her face. Maybe she does find me interesting. I am certainly the only person she's even tried to engage with. I look down at my hands in my lap, feeling embarrassed by the feelings that I have creeping up inside of me.

I'm not sure how long we sit like this, me looking anywhere but at Parker, Parker watching me. The girls are done with dinner. My roommate comes back to the cubicle. As soon as she sees Parker, she mumbles something and grabs her blanket before heading back out toward the TV room. I laugh a bit. I'm not sure what she thinks is going on here. Not that anyone who knows me would believe that I could just sit next to a beautiful woman without trying something. With Parker, though I desire her, I have no plans to move on her. Parker just seems so innocent. I don't want to ruin that so I am surprised when she slowly reaches out her hand and touches a strand of hair that's fallen over the side of my face.

I freeze under her gentle touch. "Your hair is soft" she says quietly. I'm not sure how to answer that so I sit still and wait. She leans closer and takes a deep breath. "You smell good too." I'm still afraid that I might spook her and even more that I am misreading her signals. I turn to look at her and I am surprised by how close her face is to mine. Her eyes, usually deep and clear are a bit unfocused as she stares at me. I slowly bring my hand up to touch her cheek but then I hesitate, my fingers just shy of brushing against her creamy skin. "It's OK if I say it's Ok" she says quietly as she leans toward my hand, letting my fingers brush against her. Her cheek is warm and I feel an electricity coming off of her skin that makes my hand, and other parts of me, tingle.

"Is this OK?" I whisper as I close some of the difference between my mouth and hers. "Yeah. It's OK" she whispers back as her lips meet mine. The same electricity I felt when Parker touched me is now coursing through my body. I can't help but moan a little as Parker wraps her hand around the back of my head and pulls me closer. She pulls back and looks me in the eye. "Alex? Don't you want to kiss me?" "Of course I want to kiss you Parker. I want to kiss you all over." I tell her. "You mean you want to have sex?" she asks in that innocent voice of hers. It takes me a moment to find my voice. "Yes Parker. I want to have sex. I want that very badly." She smiles. "Good" as she kisses me again. I pull her closer and wrap my arms around her. I feel her stiffen for a second under my touch and then she melts into me. She falls backwards on my cot and pulls me next to her.

I'm having trouble keeping my thoughts together as Parker begins to run her fingers down my side. I am aware enough still to know that we can't get caught here. Sex in prison is something we all do but the guards and the administration like to pretend that it never happens. Stealth and privacy are the norm. Getting caught here in my bunk would force some sort of punishment on us. Still, I can't quite muster the strength to tell her no.

"We should go to the chapel" I mumble. "Why?" she asks. "I want to have sex not pray." I laugh. "You can do both! At least we would have some privacy." She shrugs. "I don't want to leave Alex. Can't we stay here? I promise I will be quiet." I laugh again. "If we get caught we could both end up in SHU" I tell her as I nuzzle her neck. "Well then we won't get caught" she whispers back. She grabs my blanket and pulls it up over our heads with a giggle. Once under our makeshift tent, Parker becomes someone completely new. Her hands are all over me, pulling at my clothes impatiently. She lets me touch her all over without a flinch. Somehow we manage to wriggle out of our clothes without either of us falling out of the narrow bunk. She pushes her body into mine as she attacks me again with her mouth. I try not to make any noise as she slowly brings her kisses down my neck to my chest. "Fuck Parker" I murmur as she turns her attention to my breasts. "If that's what you want" she whispers and she slides farther down my body.

My desire overwhelms me as she kisses me along the inside of my thigh. I want to rush her. I want her to take forever. Getting caught is the last thing from my mind. I hear myself squeak as her strong fingers find their target. By the time her tongue touches me, I have one hand wrapped in her soft blonde hair. My other is laying across my mouth as I bite down hard on the skin on the back of my hand, doing all I can to keep from crying out as she brings me closer and closer, speeding up and slowing down, sensing my breaking point and backing away when I am teetering on the edge. By the time I finally come, my whole body is on fire. I struggle to catch my breath as she starts again with her silky tongue and long thin fingers.

My body is spent. My eyes are squeezed shut, my hands are tight in fists. Parker slides back up so that we are face to face. I open my eyes. Even in the semi dark of the blanket tent, Parker's eyes glow a bright green. She is very close to me and I feel drunk from the feelings that overwhelm me. She looks very serious when she asks me "Did you like that?" "Fuck Parker" I say quietly. "I liked that. I liked it a lot." She smiles. "Good" she says. "I liked it too." She gently brushes my lips with hers and I feel the fire in my belly start to flame again. "Parker…Do you want me to…" She slowly shakes her head. "I need to go back. They're going to count and do bed check." "Tomorrow then?" I ask as she starts to untangle herself from me and the blanket. "Maybe." She says with a Cheshire smile. "Maybe." I groan as she breaks body contact. I watch her slip on her clothes and move silently towards the hall. She stops and turns around. "I like you Alex. I'm going to miss you." With that she disappears down the hall and I am left, spent and confused.

Bed check is done and I am lying awake in my bunk playing over the evening's events. Most everyone is asleep, including my roommate. I listen to the sounds of prison at night. Snoring and sobbing. Quiet arguments, the sounds of intimacy and guards' footsteps. I've got two more years on my sentence. With Parker, that doesn't sound like such a long time anymore. But what did she mean by "miss me"? Are we done as quickly as we started? Or was she serious when she said she wouldn't be here long.

I'm finally drifting off to sleep when Parker slips silently into my bunk, squeezing herself between me and the wall. "Parker?" "Shhh" she says. "I missed you." "I missed you too" I tell her as I roll over to face her. Her bright green eyes are shining and she is smiling. I give her a gentle kiss and roll her over so I can wrap my arms and body around her. I feel her breathing slow. I pull her just a little bit closer and drift off to sleep myself.

Parker wakes early, before dawn I guess though there aren't any windows to be sure. She's almost out of bed when I realize she's leaving. "Parker?" I ask. "Shhh" she says. "I like to shower before anyone else gets up. It makes me feel like I'm alone." I sit halfway up. "Do you like to be alone?" She nods. "I like to live alone. Work alone. I don't need anyone." I think about that. "That's kind of sad Parker." She gives me a puzzled look. "Why is it sad? I like it. I've always been alone." "It's sad Parker because you don't ever let anyone close to you. You don't have any friends. Family?" She shakes her head. "I let you get close" she says with a whisper. "I know Parker. And I am grateful. I like you too." She gives me a soft smile. "Are you coming to the shower?" she asks. "I don't feel like being alone right now."

We are the only ones in the shower this early though I know that the other early birds will be up soon. We shower in silence. I try hard not to look at Parker but when I do, I see that she is watching me carefully. She comes closer and hands me her bar of soap then turns around. I don't need more hints than that. I take the soap and begin to rub it on her back. She rocks back on her heels, just a bit, bringing her closer to me. I let the soap go and begin to use my hands to wash her. I reach my hand around her and cup her breast. She sighs and steps backwards so that her body is pressed to mine. Slowly I let my fingers slide across her wet soapy body. I wrap my arm around her chest and hold her close as my hand works its way between her legs.

She begins to make happy noises as I stroke her. She lets her head fall back onto my shoulder as I slowly slide two fingers into her. She wants to move with me but I hold her tight as I find a rhythm. I've got my fingers inside and my thumb rubbing against her. I begin to massage her breast, rolling the nipple between my thumb and forefinger. Her body begins to shake and she starts to cry out. "Shhh" I whisper in her ear as her body tenses and then goes slack. I walk her towards the tile wall of the shower before turning her around and pinning her against it. I have my hands on her breasts and my mouth on hers when I hear the sound of flip flops. I jump away quickly, wiping my mouth and pushing back my wet hair. I turn to see Nicky standing in the doorway, a big grin on her face. "I knew it!" she says loudly. "I knew you were fucking her." "Nick, be quiet!" I admonish. The grin on her face gets even bigger. "No way Vause. This is news. Big news!" "Nicky please." I beg. From the corner of my eye, I see Parker rinse off. She walks naked past me and Nicky as if we didn't exist. Nicky watches her go then turns back to me. "Wow. Just wow." I smile. "Yeah. I know."

For the next two weeks, Parker comes to lay with me after lights out. During the day, she barely acknowledges I exist but, at night in my bunk, she is warm and tender and attentive. I still don't understand her but I can't get enough of her either. I don't do relationships. I've made that clear to every woman I've ever dated. I enjoy their company and, if the sex is good, I might let them stick around a while. I am very selfish. I use them and when I'm done, I cut them loose. No one has ever gotten to me like Parker has. I want to hold her hand. I want to touch her. I want her to be with me at night. I want to tell the whole world that I am in love with Parker. I take what I can get.

I am used to Parker saying puzzling things so I am not fazed when she tells me again that she will miss me. This time is different. She gives me a long sweet kiss. "Thank you Alex. I will never forget you." I feel as though someone punched me in the gut. "What do you mean? Are you leaving? How can that be?" She smiles. "I told you I wouldn't be here long. It's time for me to go." I am still not processing the information. "Go where?" "Out silly" she says. "Out?" She nods. "I'll say good bye before I go" she promises as she turns and wanders off.

I am stuck to my spot. I can't move. I can't breathe. Nicky comes up behind me. "Alex?" "Not now Nick." "What's going on? Is she really leaving? I haven't heard anything about transfers or parole meetings. Where is she going?" I turn and look at her. "Shut up Nicky" I say as I push past her.

That night, Parker comes again to my bunk. She doesn't talk. She climbs in and wraps her arms around me. The electricity I feel when Parker touches me is still there but now it's tempered with something else. Sadness? I search Parker's face but she's not giving anything away. Without words, she begins to slowly move her fingertips over me. We make love slowly and carefully. Parker seems as if she's memorizing every touch and every feeling. I sense the difference in her and I try to do the same. I have no idea what she's planning but I suspect that this is the last time I will see her. A tear slips from my eye. She carefully wipes it away with her finger. "Don't cry Alex. It's going to be OK." I shake my head but I can't find my voice to disagree. I give her a lingering kiss and wrap her up in my arms. She's asleep almost instantly. I can't sleep. I can't shake the black cloud that seems to have settled onto me. I pull Parker even tighter to me and she murmurs something I don't understand. "I'm not letting you go Parker" I whisper to her. "Not now. Not ever. I love you Parker." Her eyes flutter and she gives me a sleepy smile. I brush her lips with mine. She makes another sound but this time it sounds like "I love you too". I nuzzle her neck and finally drift off to sleep.

When I wake in the morning, Parker is gone. Not just gone from my bed but really gone. I finally understand her odd behaviours. She was looking for weaknesses, holes in the security, places the guards don't know about. She wasn't planning on being paroled or transferred. She was planning on breaking out. I look up and see one of the ceiling tiles over my bunk is slightly askew. 'Bendy things'. A thief. I wish she had told me. I wish she hadn't left me behind. I wish I knew how to find her when I get out.

I lay on my bunk, staring at the ceiling tile until my vision is blurred by tears. Nicky comes by but for once, she has nothing to say. She slowly climbs into my bunk next to me and wraps her arms around me. "I'm sorry Alex. I really am" she whispers. "I know" I whisper. I hug her back and bury my tears in her hair.