Of Babies and War

Celestia0909


He had been rocking this baby in his arms for the better part of hour. At least it felt like an hour. His arms were getting sore and felt boneless, he was amazed that he had managed to keep the baby in his arms this long to be perfectly honest. Every time he had stopped moving, Harry would start fussing and his tiny eyebrows would furrow; according to his parents, a tell-tale sign that the little tyke would start screaming his head off.

'Want to swap?'

'No, bugger off,' Sirius hissed quietly, trying desperately not to wake up the sleeping bundle in his arms. The head of black hair shuffled in his arms before becoming still again.

'Just trying to be nice Padfoot,' out of the corner of his eye, Remus sauntered into the kitchen and by the sounds of cutlery and cups rattling around, he assumed he was making himself a cup of tea. Again.

Watching Remus sip his tea and read his newspaper smugly in front of him made him rethink wanting to swap positions with him. He had only snapped because it'd taken him an hour to get Harry to fall asleep and he'd be damned if he woke him up now.

'Give us a sip Moony.'

No reply.

The mousy haired git completely ignored him and looked far too interested in an article about Madam Puddifoot's café extension in Hogsmeade. He knew for a fact that he hated that shop, all of them did.

'Oi, Moony!' Sirius inched his way closer to the couch where he sat until he could finally kick the stupid git's shin. With a smirk, Remus glared at him and flipped him the bird. He was positive that he called him a rather unsavoury word, starting with an sl and ending in ag.

'Give us a sip of tea.'

'Get your own!'

Sirius rolled his eyes and pointed at the toddler with his free hand, 'My hands are a bit full.'

After a few minutes of quiet hissing at one another, to an outsider it may have sounded like the two were conversing in Parseltongue, they decided to manoeuver Harry into Remus' arms so Sirius could have a bit of a rest.

It took them at least another five minutes to get him into Moony's arms; at which Sirius finally let out a relieved breath and lay face down on his best friend's ugly, albeit very comfortable, green corduroy couch. He had spent many nights on this couch, more or less because of his tendency to get injured in missions.

He had agreed to babysit Harry because apparently Lily and James had an emergency to deal with in Wales. The liars. They were definitely off shagging somewhere in London; the depraved prats. It was a miracle really that they gave birth to his favourite human in the world, save for James, and Moony, and maybe Wormtail.

'Haven't heard from Wormtail have you?' speak of the devil.

'Nah, he's probably bitten off more than he can chew again.' Peter had an uncanny ability to get himself in situations that either got him in trouble, or the others. They'd saved his neck countless times, and judging by his disappearances he had gone and done another idiotic thing.

Feeling agitated, Sirius pointed his wand at the tiny wireless atop the fireplace. It sprang to life and after a few turns of the dials, a clear voice spoke out into the living room, ' – our sincerest condolences to Gideon and Fabian's family –'

He glanced at Remus, hoping for some affirmation that the news wasn't true. But when nothing but sorrow clouded the werewolf's green eyes, he felt uneasiness creep into his body. This war had never felt more real. People were dying and disappearing; all the scouting missions he had been on for the Order seemed so insignificant. So useless.

Gideon and Fabian were unstoppable; seeing them duel was like watching the ballet. They moved with the kind of fluidity and grace that far more experienced Aurors envied. Not once had they been bested. If they had died, surely he wouldn't stand a chance now.

'I heard that it was Dolohov,' Remus muttered. 'He killed Gideon and finished Fabian off too.'

Sirius flinched at the hardened edge to his voice. Remus had always been melancholic but since he'd returned from a month long mission he'd been reserved and jumpy. The only thing he'd mentioned about his time away was that it was upon Dumbledore's request.

He'd heard whispers amongst other Order members that Remus was a spy. That he'd been relaying information to Voldemort's inner circle. On more than one occasion Sirius had given in to the whispers and believed them. Since Harry was born six months ago he had seen Moony less than a handful of times, and when he did he always looked like someone was following him.

Not many things made sense anymore; his life as he knew it was crumbling around him, and the people he thought were immovable and constant were scattered everywhere. People he cared about were dying and disappearing; and he felt helpless in stopping it. They were twenty-years-old and they were fighting a war. Twenty was too young an age to be out there dying; twenty was too reckless a time to be having babies; they were supposed to be out there having fun, making mistakes and welcoming the best times of their lives. Instead they were fighting and hiding from the evil that always loomed over their heads.

'I heard that their sister, Molly, is having another baby.'

He looked at Remus properly and noticed that the shadows under his eyes were darker, more pronounced. His faced looked paler and thinner than last time and his hair was curling around the nape of his neck. The sweater, which Sirius had given him two years ago, he was wearing was faded and the formerly golden lion in the middle was now a dull yellow. He looked worse than he'd ever seen him.

'Fools,' he remembered Molly and her husband Arthur. They were kind and hopeful, but he supposed that if you'd had six kids in the middle of a war, you'd have to be hopeful to keep sane.

'We can't stop living our lives just because there's a war going on. That's what they want, we can't give them what they want.'

'Bit hypocritical coming from you,' he snapped.

'What's that supposed to mean?' at his silence, Remus glared, 'Well? Come out with it then!'

'You know what they say about you?' Sirius stood up abruptly and paced in front of the green couch. 'They say you're a spy, they say you're working for You-Know-Who; and do you want to know something? I believe them.'

'You're a bigger fool than I thought you were if you believe the rumours.' Remus laughed darkly, his eyes flashed with anger and Sirius stepped closer to him. 'Don't think that I haven't heard about what you've done. People died because you tried to play the hero! You thought that you could just walk into a Death Eater's house and come out unscathed? You've paid the price for your recklessness, and so have Benjy, and Leonora – '

Overcome with grief and anger, Sirius pulled out his wand and pressed it against Remus' forehead, 'Don't you dare.'

The baby in his arms yawned and placed his chubby little thumb in his mouth. Both men stared at the movement, transfixed and enchanted by it. They were supposed to be looking after the baby, not arguing.

After a few minutes of silence, Remus sighed, 'This is what they want Sirius,' Remus stared at him and shrugged minutely. 'We can't fight this war if we start fighting amongst ourselves.'

'Alright fine, but I reckon you're a bit of a prat for keeping secrets.'

Hours later, James and Lily sat on the ugly green couch, Remus leaning with his elbows on the the back of it and Sirius sprawled out on the floor with Harry; all of them watching as Peter made small bright puffs of smoke appear from the end of his wand.

Outside, snow fell and a war was being fought in the distance; but here inside his best friend's cottage was a slice of paradise. A taste of what the future could look like if they won this war.


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