A/N: ariestess69, this is for you! I hope you enjoy it. Happy Valentine's!
He can't believe it.
He went to sleep happy, calm, exhausted – as any single parent of a four years old would be, that is, but certain of how his routine would be in the next day. Then he woke up to this message. And now he is freaking out.
Don't take him wrong, Robin is not a planner. He is, by essence, a very carefree and spontaneous man. But he is also a father. A father who's been doing everything possible to give stability to his precious boy, a father who's learned how to create the so needed routine for his child - and follow it, no matter how many times the desire to throw all his cares to the wind almost overpowered him. Marian would be proud of him, he can almost hear her voice telling him so.
Almost.
It used to pain him so much, thinking of her. Though now he can imagine her, his Sunflower teasing him about how straight he followed the routines that she planned for their little boy before that tragic day, the same ones that he made fun of; how he was even capable of creating new ones by himself and 'See, I always knew you had that on you, Rob!'. He imagines her, and he smiles. But it's not her sweet contralto that he perfect hears anymore, is it? And not the same smile that he used to be able to see in High Definition through his mind eyes, now it's almost like a blur and it scares him. It's bittersweet, this feeling. He wouldn't forget her in a lifetime and yet four years and three months later here he is, fighting with his memories to try and remember more details of her beautiful and unique expressions. It's bittersweet indeed. He is finally able to think of the person that he'd hold the world for without relieving all the pain caused by their death (he died with her that day, he's sure of it… Roland was the one that brought life back to him) and his memories fail him. He can still feel all the love that warms his heart, and yet it doesn't burn the scars like it used to anymore. He misses her, but it's a different feeling, somewhat a peaceful one. She would be proud of him, his Marian.
Right, Marian.
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
Robin is going to kill Belle. He's going to hug her, if she is happy then he is happy for her too, but he is going to kill her!
He reads the message for what feels like the thirtieth time since he woke up in the middle of the night.
'Hey, Robin. Good morning.
So, there's no simple way of breaking the news for you, but Elijah and I eloped – yay! As you can imagine it was all very fast and spontaneous and right now we're at Sao Paulo airport (yes, Brazil), ready to take the flight to our final destination – SOUTH AFRICA!' - God, he can hear her excitement- 'Our Honeymoon is going to be a 10 days trip and I'm so sorry, but you know I'm by myself now… I don't have anyone to open the flower store for you. I know how important this time of the year is for you and Ro, but there's nothing I can do now.
One more time, I'm immensely sorry. I do hope everything works out.
Belle'
Looking at the screen will not solve his problems, so Robin texts her a quick and yet truthful congratulations on the wedding and a 'Don't worry, I'll find a way. Your store is not the only place that sells flowers in town, you know 😉' and then he heads to the bathroom. He tries not to focus on the fact that, no, La Bella Fiore is not the only flower shop in town, but it is for sure the only one he knows would be open on Christmas morning. (Only for him and Roland, he knows it, for their especial tradition. She and Mr. French – rest in peace his soul- have done this for three years, from the good of their hearts, and he has no right to hold any bad feelings against her just because she is finally enjoying her life. He always knew Belle's heart wasn't in her father's shop anyway, one day or another he would need to start looking for another place to keep the tradition going. Might as well start today.)
God, it's 4:23 am. Tea, he needs tea. A big, good, old cup of English Breakfast.
Robin didn't plan for these traditions to become a tradition themselves, they simply did. Marian loved flowers. She was always smiling and enjoying the colors of life naturally, but whenever she saw a different flower her eyes used to shine more intensely, and her smile would become even brighter. The first time he fully understood her love for flowers was during that fieldtrip to a sunflowers field, Mrs. Blue class. He never liked that teacher, the only reason he took that class was Marian's love for Biology – and his undeniable crush on her. He doesn't remember one single information about sunflowers and their reproduction system, and yet he remembers how beautifully the sun would shower the brunet's skin, how the wind would blow her gorgeous waves and the movement of her breast while she took a deep breath in the middle of that field. On that day Marian had told him how she's never seen anything as beautiful and that made her so happy as those plants. From that day on she became his own Sunflower.
The water is boiling. He will need more sugar today.
And so gifting Marian with flowers became their thing. The first rose he's ever bought when he finally got courage enough and decided to ask her out; small flowers that he picked on his way to school; the sunflower seed he gave her when he proposed – a symbol of how they could grow together. Cheesy, he knew by then, he knows it now. She loved it. There were so many other bouquets during their time together. All the especial dates, of course, and all the other days he just felt like it… Although he failed her on that day.
Robin refused to put a flower on her coffin. It should've been a sunflower, he knew it, but he didn't do it. He couldn't. It pained too much to see the symbol of their love and life together being buried with all his hopes, there was space for only one Sunflower under all that dust and nature had decided which one would it be.
That's why a few months after her death he let his new born with John and went to the cemetery. One big Sunflower in one hand, the weight of the world on his back and a heart he thought would never heal. He talked with her that day. He opened his broken heart, cried his eyes out and told her every single thing he could possibly think about Roland. He apologized then, for getting angry at her and not knowing how to deal with the situation when everything happened. In that day Robin promised himself, promised to his Sunflower that he wouldn't let the weight of the past disrupt the incredible memories of Marian anymore, and so he started to go to that same cemetery every especial date, also every time he felt like, flowers in hand. He doesn't know if she sees it, he likes to believe that she does. He does know, though, that it became an important piece of his healing process and an even more important way of connection between his beloved wife and their son.
The first Christmas without Marian he wanted to bring her the freshest flowers there could possibly be found, it was her favorite Holiday. When Mr. French heard about it, and since he used to live in a house behind the shop, he kindly offered himself to open it to Robin before he went to the cemetery. The same happened on New Year's Day. He never worried about their routine, since seeing the effect flowers could have on other people's life brought so much joy to Mr. French, but now he was terrified.
Again, it was not intentional, that tradition of them, but when he realized Roland was going with him to talk to his mom and now the boy really cherishes these moments. It became their thing too. This year their son started to connect the special dates with the days he goes to see mamma and Robin doesn't know what will be of him if he doesn't find a place to buy flowers today.
And that's why it's not even 5 am, Christmas morning, and Robin is sitting at his kitchen table, drinking his tea and googling all the flowers shop in town and in the cities in an hour ratio to see if he can find anything that will open today. He's lucky Belle's text woke him this early. Roland is naturally an early riser, this added to the amount of excitement he had last night – both from Santa and Momma's visit, Robin is not sure how long it will take until he wakes up.
Robin rubs his hands on both his eyes, body still heavy with sleep and tiredness. Roland took longer to fall asleep, it was Christmas Eve after all, and as a father he had to be sure the boy was deep on Dreamland until he could start organizing all the presents under the tree. So many presents. He doesn't know how his boy didn't turn into a spoiled little brat with all the attention he gets, it must be Marian's doing from Up There. And that's how Robin ended up going to bed after midnight, being completely exhausted before even the sunrise.
It's 6:32 am when he hears rushed steps down stairs and a breathy 'Oooh!' before a louder 'Papa! Papa! He came! Santa visited us!". It's all 'oohs' and 'wows' and 'Look, Papa! Look!' while he opens the gifts 'Santa' brought for him and Robin can't help but smile with his boy and enjoy the life he brings.
Well, at least in one thing he won't disappoint his son today.
He texts the gang again.
- OQ -
Regina can't sleep. She's being turning and tossing around her bed for what feels like an eternity and yet she knows it's too early to get up.
She checks on her phone. 4:23 am.
Coffee, she needs coffee. A big, good, strong cup of black coffee. She knows she won't be able to go back to sleep anyways, may as well enjoy fully awake every painful hour of this day. She brought this to herself.
It's not like she's new at the I-hate-Christmas party. Quite the opposite. She remembers being five years old, walking around the mall with Mother, she was in a particular bad mood that day. If she concentrates she still can hear Cora's voice filled with disdain, saying that 'Please, Regina! Of course this is not 'the real' Santa! Santa does not exist, you foolish girl.'. Then she went on and on about how one day Regina would achieve great things, and how she was too good to actually believe in such imbecile concepts as Santa Klaus and flying reindeers. From that day on every time Regina heard or read Dr. Seuss' Christmas tale, she would imagine mother's features on the Grinch's face. It's a funny thing how a child's brain works.
Now she wonders how Henry sees her… Maybe he imagines a noseless and bald version of herself when he thinks of Lord Voldemort, or probably he pictures her face under Darth Vader's mask, trying to convince him to join her side - the dark side, creepy voice saying 'I am your mother'. Yes, this definitely sounds like something her Little Prince's bright imagination could come up with. He is so precious, her boy. She screwed up this time.
She still doesn't understand how everything went downhill so fast. Two months ago, they were happily choosing the final details for his Halloween costume, enjoying each other company, laughing together as the stable and gleeful family she so carefully built. Now she is here, alone in her house- she can't call it home without Henry, sitting in her kitchen in the middle of Christmas dawn, her cup of coffee the only companion she has.
They didn't watch Christmas movies together last night.
They didn't make their especial cocoa with cinnamon to drink while watching said movies.
She didn't check on him after he fell asleep, giving him the goodnight kiss he's too old to accept while woken up (he's not too old. Never too old.)
They won't bake apple pie and cinnamon rolls together.
He won't wake up and run downstairs first thing to see all the presents she thoughtfully bought for him (He knows the truth about Christmas, they talked about it at the end of last year. He is a believer by heart, it was not hard to keep the magic alive for him and she damn well tried her best for this, but he's almost eleven now. Maybe he's getting old after all.)
Instead he spent the night at Emma Swan's apartment. She knows nothing about being a mother, she gave up all her rights over Henry when she signed those closed adoption papers, and yet he chose to spend Christmas with that insipid bitch, the one who abandoned him (the one that gave her the best gift she could ever receive, says a voice in the back of her mind, the one she tries to ignore). But he is coming back for lunch. He is coming back for her. Her little prince is starting to trust her again, Regina can feel it, can see through the little signs. Like yesterday, when he was half way inside that ridiculous yellow bug and came back just to hug her.
He spontaneously hugged her. And it felt amazing.
She misses him so much.
So, no, this year they are not going to do all the especial traditions that they created together, and she will resolutely pay the price for her lies, but she will follow Dr. Hopper's advices and give her son the space he's asking for. There is no price enough to pay if it means opening the possibilities to regain her Little Prince's trust, would do anything to have her Henry back.
And with that in mind Regina starts preparing what she knows will be the best Christmas lunch of all the times. (Yes, she's aware 'Christmas lunch' is not a real thing, but hell, she will make it one! Start a new tradition, if that's the case! It is their time together and she will spoil him!)
Regina might have exaggerated a little bit though. Four hours later and she realizes that mixed potato, lasagna, turkey, grilled vegetables, salad, apple pie, cinnamon rolls and ice cream might be a little too much for only two people after all. But she is anxious, she needs to do something. She already cooked everything that was possible with that much time of advance, set the table, did the laundry, cleaned the house (there was really nothing to clean, but at least she re-checked everything, took off the nonexistent dust…), and took a quick shower.
She checks her phone.
Still 8:52 am for fucks sake.
She is going mad. And she knows if it's not the one person – the one that she can't have right now, there's only one place that can calm her down. The decision is made. Regina gets her key chains, her purse and heads towards her sanctuary.
It's only a ten minutes' walk, but it's cold, so after a very quick car ride Regina parks in front of The Enchanted Florist. She spends some time admiring the front view of the flower shop. The place is not very big, the biggest area is for her greenhouse at the backyard, but it is charming and inviting. From the outside she can see the sign with 'The Enchanted Florist' in bold white letters (she smiles. Henry was right, it is the perfect name for a flower shop), the details in dark wood, the vines on the top and the beautiful carnation, begonias and lilies this winter brought.
Regina is a lawyer by degree, but a florist by heart. During her High School years, she systematically followed her mother's plans for her. She took all the right classes and did all the right extracurricular activities. She thought being accepted in Yale would be the big chance of her life because of the excellency of the Law School and its professors, little did she know that the biggest influence would come from the blue-eyed guy with the eloquent speech and high ideals from Innovation in Government and Society. Daniel taught her how to see the world with other eyes, he made her feel like loved and wanting to be the best version of herself, no labels or status quo tags defining who she is. She was ready to follow her own dream and be happy.
That was when the accident happened. When the car crushed and shattered her whole world. That was when mother took the reigns of Regina's life back.
It was with Henry's adoption that Regina was able to break the first link of the chain holding her to her mother's wills. And one by one she was able to disconnect herself, little by little. She didn't have Daniel by her side to give her support anymore, but she did have Henry, her precious boy providing her with the sweetest and yet strongest devotion she will ever feel. He needed a real mother. He needed someone to protect him from all the evil of this world, Cora's manipulations being one of those troubles. He needed her. So she fought for him.
A few years later Regina realized that being a successful lawyer didn't really bring her happiness and then she started fighting to understand who she was, besides being a mom (it's her favorite part of the person she's become, but couldn't be the only one, right?). Of course, her plans were forgotten when she found out about daddy's disease, she and Henry enjoying the most of his last days in his favorite place – the green house. Those moments are treasured in her heart, just as the happy moments she enjoyed during her childhood, the big events of every week that she used to call 'Funny Sunday with Daddy'. She had riding lessons every Sunday and then father and daughter would spend hours and hours at their 'secret garden', mother wouldn't bother to follow them to places that could smell of animals or, you know, nature in general. Regina's father taught her the passion for flowers and the especial techniques he learned during his life. When he died, suddenly everything became clearer for the brunet and she knew there would be no better way of honoring him than keeping his passion for the flowers alive through her own. That's how she became the owner of The Enchanted Florist.
Regina is peacefully walking in the direction of the 'closed' sign, keys in hands, when a car approaches abruptly and she hears what sounds like a desperate voice.
-Excuse me, milady! Please, tell me you are going to open the shop!
