A/N: Im ritin dis stray wif muh fren Angela su dun h8t itz greit ok!

Tanks 2 al muh kikaz frens I luv bean papuler.

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Hi my name Melony Higgets and I come from a land far away; I come from the valley of thorns. My dad abused me and raped me even though I'm big and fat and have huge zits, that's why no boys like me. I'M THE UGLIEST FUCKING THING YOU COULD THINK OF PEOPLE CALL ME SHITFACE at school they're so mean I swear.

Anyway, I was in the hallway when I bumped into this really beautiful guy named Edward Cullen. He smiled at me. Someone actually SMILED at ME!

"Hey there," he said in a dazzling voice. "You have a name?"

I was struck with furor!

"U-uh, yes, my name's Melony." I managed to stammer. "You're Edward, right?"

"Yes, I am." He said with a crooked smile. "Hey, a couple of us are hanging out after school at Peter Piper Pizza. You wanna come along?" he asked.

"Yes!!!" I screamed with joy. This was the best moment of my whole 13 years of life!