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THE RAPE OF BRENDA

CHAPTER ONE

Disclaimer: I do not own Beverly Hills 90210 or any of the characters that you recognize

A/N: Some things in this story are not how they happened on the show

thank you to my beta

please read and review

Dylan had chosen Kelly and Brenda did not know what to do or think. Why had he chosen Kelly over her? She had thought she would be with Dylan forever. She had loved him since she was sixteen and now she had to go on without him. She didn't know how to do that.

How could Kelly have done this? Kelly had been her best friend and Kelly had betrayed her, she didn't know how to get past that. She hated Kelly, she had tried to hate Dylan too, but that was impossible. She still loved him.

It hurt every time she saw them together. She still loved Dylan, so much even after she found out he had cheated on her with Kelly; she had still loved him. She didn't know how to go on without him, but she knew she had to.

She didn't want to go hang out with the gang at the Peach Pit anymore because Dylan and Kelly were always there together, kissing and hugging, and it hurt to watch them together so she had been staying home wallowing in her misery.

Dylan had been the only man she had ever been with and she didn't want anyone else. She wanted Dylan back. She knew that wasn't going to happen. Kelly and Dylan seemed happy together.

She often wondered if she had shown up that night of Jack McKay's party, if Dylan would have chosen her. There was so many what ifs that Brenda wondered about. What was it about Kelly that made Dylan choose her over Brenda? Was Brenda not good enough? What did Kelly have that Brenda didn't?

There was so many questions that Brenda had wondered about and she had no one to answer the questions. She had loved Dylan so much but that wasn't enough. Why wasn't it? Had Dylan ever really loved her?

She had thought Dylan loved her. They had been through so much together. Brenda didn't think that Dylan would ever choose Kelly over her, but he had. Brenda had been in it for the long haul.

Brenda had lived her life around Dylan McKay, what did she do now that he wasn't in her life anymore? She didn't know what to do. She had cut Dylan McKay and Kelly Taylor out of her life. It was the only way she could survive.

Her friends and her twin brother had forgiven Kelly and Dylan so easily. She didn't feel like she had any support from them.

She got out of bed knowing that she had to go to school and face everyone and watch Dylan and Kelly together.

She only had a couple more months of school and then graduation to get through. She had applied to the University in Minnesota and was waiting to hear if she got in or not. She thought if she went to college in Minnesota that maybe she could put this all behind her, that she wouldn't have to watch Kelly and Dylan together anymore, and maybe, just maybe, she could get on with her life.

What about in the meantime though? She couldn't go on like this; all she did anymore was stay in her room getting more and more depressed. She knew she had to do something, but what? She hadn't figured out what to do yet.

She was not looking forward to going to school and seeing Kelly and Dylan together; knowing that Dylan was no longer Brenda's he was Kelly's now.

She missed Dylan so much. She also missed the friendship she thought she and Kelly had together; they had been as close as sisters. She had thought that Kelly would never do anything to hurt her, Kelly had not ever really been her friend or she wouldn't have snuck around behind her back with Dylan; she wouldn't have gone after Dylan like she had.

Brenda had trusted Kelly and Dylan; boy was she wrong to do that. She finished her shower and got dressed and after blow drying her hair she put on her makeup covering up the puffy red eyes she had from crying herself to sleep again last night.

She went downstairs to eat so Brandon and Brenda could go to school even though that was the last place Brenda wanted to be. Brandon was already downstairs with their parents eating his breakfast. When Brenda walked into the kitchen Cindy Walsh asked Brenda what she wanted for breakfast.

Brenda decided to just have some cereal; her parents were worried about her but didn't know what to do. A concerned Jim, who was sitting at the table, turned to look at Brenda "Brenda, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine." Brenda told her father, lying to him as she did so, she wasn't fine and she often wondered if in some way he was somewhat responsible for her losing Dylan. She wondered if Dylan had chosen Kelly because it was the easiest choice; that Dylan had been tired of dealing with Jim and that was why he chose Kelly.

She forced herself to finish her breakfast because she knew that Brandon would be ready to leave for school soon. She didn't really feel like eating but she knew she had to, for her the baby she was carrying that no one knew about.

Brandon looked over at Brenda as she finished her breakfast and asked, "Are you about ready to go, Brenda?"

"Yeah, let me get my books." Brenda told Brandon taking her bowl to the sink and then going and getting her books.

Brandon drove to school; Brandon knew his sister was hurting over what Dylan and Kelly had done; but didn't know what to do about it. He was torn between his best friend Dylan, who he loved like a brother, and his sister. He supposed he should have supported her more but he didn't know how, he didn't want to get involved in it. He figured it was between the three of them.

Brandon knew Brenda was staying in her room, she wouldn't go to the Peach Pit and when she actually ate lunch at school she would go off by herself, she wouldn't even join Andrea, Donna, David, Steve, Dylan, Kelly and him for lunch anymore. She ate alone. He was torn as to what to do, she was isolating herself; he would have thought she would be getting over this by now, it had been three months since Dylan and Brenda had broken up but she wasn't getting over it.

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