Title: The Long and Winding Way
Author: The Fallen Sky
Rating: M
Pairing: Chlark
Summary: The angst between Chloe and Clark is finally resolved.
Warning: This story contains a sex scene.
A/N: This is the sequel to 'Forever Begins Today'. I suggest you read that first to better understand what's happening. This is told from Chloe's POV.
My life is so messed up. I thought I was over Clark. I thought I'd finally moved past loving a man who had never, and would never love me the way I love him. But finding him dead on the floor of the loft, and later taking a trip into the depths of his very soul reignited a fire within me that has only ever burned for him.
But the most amazing thing to come from all of this was that he actually confessed that he loves me. Now, I know that he's always loved me, but this is the first time that he's admitted to being in love with me. It was like a dream come true, except for the fact that I already have someone who loves me, who's in love with me.
But this is Clark, and I've never been able to think clearly where Clark is concerned. And that's when everything went to hell. All the walls that I built up over the years crumbled to dust, and I let him into my heart, again.
The things that happened that night are things I'll never forget. And I know that he'll never forget them either. It was like magic. It was a dream come true. But then the morning came, and I started to think more clearly. I had second thoughts.
God, what have I done? The love of my life finally professes that he loves me, and instead of riding off into the sunset with him, I chicken out and stay with a man I know loves me but doesn't have my heart.
I remember calling Clark a coward when it came to putting his heart on the line, but I'm much worse. My first love, my dream guy is mine for the taking, and I say thanks but no thanks? What the hell is wrong with me?
I can still see his face when I told him I needed to sort out my feelings for Oliver. The hurt, the betrayal, the defeat, the utter despair and dejection written there still haunts me. But what haunts me the most is the longing I saw in his eyes. He really and truly wanted me, and I said no.
I was afraid he might do something foolish, like kill himself, again, but somehow I knew that he wouldn't. Despite the pain I caused with my rejection, I was certain that what we shared would provide him enough strength to carry on.
That was a month ago. Shortly after my rejection, he just disappeared. No sign, no indication that he's been anywhere near Smallville or Metropolis since that day. Oh, I know he's still out there, still being a hero. I've been trying to find him since the day I broke his heart. I went to the Fortress and tried asking Jor-El for help, but he wouldn't even acknowledge my presence. So, using all the resources that Watchtower has to offer, I've been tracking strange and unexplained activity that could only be Clark.
He's been very busy since he left. Traveling to dozens of cities across the continent, saving people, doing what only he can do; what he was born to do. But I know he's hurting, because I'm hurting too.
The biggest mistake of my life was saying no when he offered his heart to me. I'll always regret that. I want to make things right. I need to make things right, but I have to find him first.
Of course, finding a man who can move at nearly the speed of light is much harder than you'd expect, and I expected it to be hard.
I've spent nearly every waking hour, for the past month, searching for Clark. I've barely slept or eaten, and my relationship with Oliver has suffered mightily. Although, I'm actually kind of glad things between us are strained. I know it sounds strange, but I think it'll be easier to end things with him.
And how sad is that? I actually want things between us to get so bad, that he's the one that breaks up with me, just so I don't have to be the one to break his heart. Although, I guess since my actions are leading him to dump me, it really is me who's leaving him. I hate semantics.
God, I'm so tired. Emotionally, I'm exhausted, but this physical and mental strain is just wiping me out. Even when I manage to sleep, I'm plagued by dreams of Clark. I wouldn't call them nightmares, because I actually enjoy the things we do in my dreams. It's the waking up without him that's the nightmare.
I've been staring at these damn monitors for so long, everything has started to blur together. I think I'll just rest my eyes for a moment, and then I'll get back to it.
When I open my eyes, I see green grass, rolling hills and trees. The seemingly endless computer screens of Watchtower are gone. Great, I fell asleep, and I'm dreaming.
As dreams go, it's not bad. I actually like the outdoors. Maybe it's because I'm always reminded of Clark when I'm out in nature.
Since it looks like I'm the only one here, I decide to take a walk; after all, it's a nice sunny day. It'd be a shame to waste it, even if it's just a dream.
As I stroll along soaking up the scenery, I hear something. Check that, I hear someone.
Following the sound, I see a little girl sitting under a shady oak tree. She's singing a tune I'm not familiar with, but it's lovely.
She's dressed in a beautiful white summer dress. Her hair is long, falling past her shoulders, and it's dark, like the night sky.
She's playing with a doll, and she doesn't see me approach. I try not to startle her, so I speak softly. "Hi."
Upon hearing my greeting, she looks up, and with the sweetest voice responds, "Hello."
Her face is just as stunning as the rest of her, and her eyes look very familiar.
She gives me the brightest smile I think I've ever seen. But before I can speak again, she's turned her attention back to her doll.
For a moment, I just stare, taking in the sight of this beautiful little girl. Somehow, I feel like I should know her, but I'm certain I've never met her before.
My moment of quiet appreciation is interrupted when she speaks. "I miss daddy."
That came out of nowhere, but I roll with it. "Where is your daddy?"
Still preoccupied with her doll, she continues. "I don't know."
"Do you want me to help you look for your daddy?"
"No one can find him. Daddy is good at hiding." She says with a measure of pride.
"If no one can find him, what are you going to do? Is he looking for you?" There's definite concern in my voice.
"Daddy doesn't know I'm here. Mommy didn't tell him."
OK, this girl's parents need some lessons in parenting. I mean, how can you just leave a child alone, in the middle of nowhere?
"Where is your mommy? Why isn't she here with you?"
I'm surprised by how calm and unaffected she is. "Mommy is here."
I look around. I don't see anyone. No one's here except me and this little girl. Wait, I don't even know her name. How am I supposed to help her find her parents if I don't know her name?
"Could you tell me your name?"
She brushes her doll's hair as she replies. "Lara."
"Lara, that's a pretty name. My name is Chloe." She hasn't looked at me since we exchanged "hellos", and she doesn't seem inclined to do so.
"Lara, do you know your mommy's name or your daddy's name?"
"Mommy's name is Mommy, and daddy's name is Daddy." There's the slightest hint of snark in her voice as she says that, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
Since I don't know her parents names, and I don't have a clue how I'm supposed to find them, I think it's best if I just stay here with Lara. Maybe her parents will come looking for her eventually.
"Lara, do you want me to stay here with you until your parents come to get you?"
"Mommy is already here." She sounds slightly annoyed at having to remind me.
I still don't know where this phantom "mommy" is. I wonder if her mommy is imaginary. It would explain a few things.
"Well, does your mommy know where to find your daddy?"
"No. Mommy can't find Daddy, but Daddy can find Mommy." She sounds hopeful and sure.
"Is your daddy looking for your mommy?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Mommy made Daddy sad. Daddy ran away. He thinks Mommy doesn't like him."
I'm amazed at how much she seems to know about her parents' relationship troubles. I just hope she doesn't think she's the cause of them.
I start to think back to when my own mother left. I blamed myself for the longest time. I was sure it was my fault, that I had done something to make her leave. Children always suffer the most when their parents have problems.
My inner reflection comes to a halt when I feel a tugging on my sleeve. As I look down, I see that Lara has moved from her spot under the tree, and is standing in front of me, looking up at me with those oh-so familiar eyes.
"You can't find Daddy, but you can call him."
"How can I call him?"
She takes her doll and places it in my hand. "With this."
I'm confused. "How can I call him with your doll?"
She smiles at me. "It's not a doll, silly."
I look from her to the doll, only it's not a doll. In my hand is the octagonal key that Clark uses to get to and from his fortress. That is, when he's not just running there and back.
I'm at a loss for words. How does she know about Clark's key? I'm about to ask her, but she speaks first.
"You should call Daddy. You have to tell him you like him. And you have to tell him about me."
Tell him I like him? I don't even know who he is.
"You have to go now. Don't worry, I'll be OK."
"Are you sure?"
She nods. "I'm right here." She places her right hand over my stomach.
My mind starts reeling. I'm trying to process what she's implying.
"I love you Mommy." I look at her. She's smiling that brilliant smile again.
In an instant, she's gone, consumed in a flash of light.
My eyes are open, and I've just realized that the trees and fields of green are gone. I'm staring at the monitors again. I'm back in Watchtower.
The hand that was holding the key is empty. But my other hand is resting gently on my stomach.
It takes a moment, but I'm finally struck with the realization that my dream was trying to tell me something. I can barely believe it, but I know it's true.
I'm pregnant.
"You're what?" His voice is filled with shock and hope.
"I'm pregnant."
His mind is trying to comprehend what I've just told him. I can see the moment he realizes what I've just said and the implications of it. His expression changes from dumbfounded to elated in an instant.
He moves toward me to wrap me in his arms and kiss me, but I hold up my hands and keep him at bay.
My defensive gesture has dampened his mood. "What's wrong? Aren't you happy about this? Don't you want this baby?"
God, I hate this. I don't want to do this to him, but he needs to know the truth.
"Of course I'm happy about this, and I want this baby more than you'll ever know. It's just…"
"Just what?" My hesitation is obviously unnerving him. "Tell me Chloe. What's the matter?"
I steel myself for his reaction to the news I'm about to lay on him. "Oliver, this baby, well, it isn't… it isn't yours."
The silence is deafening. He's just looking at me, his face an unreadable mask. The moment seems to drag on forever.
"What do you mean, the baby isn't mine? If I'm not the father, who is?"
His voice is filled with pain, and I can see how distraught he is at the thought that I cheated on him.
I know he's not going to like my answer, and he's most likely going to say some hurtful things in his angry state, but somehow, I don't care. Whatever he deems fit to hurl at me, I deserve, but the further into this we get, the more relieved I feel. The only person I want approval from is the father of my child.
"Clark." There, I said it. One word, a name. Who would have thought that something so simple could hold the key to so much pain and happiness, and all at the same time?
"Clark?" His voice is remarkably calm. I can't tell if he's restraining himself or if he's so angry, he can't even yell at me. "You had sex with Clark. When?"
"It was about a month ago, when I left in the middle of the night."
He's just looking at me. I don't know if he's waiting for me to continue with the particulars, or if he's just at a loss as to what to do. So I continue.
"He was in trouble. He needed me, so I went to him. Things were said, confession kinds of things. We kinda had this…moment, and then one thing led to another. And now we're here."
They say confession is good for the soul. Although I feel terrible for what I've done, I actually do feel better about coming clean. But truth be told, I'm not sorry I did what I did. I'm just sorry that Oliver got hurt because of it.
And now that he knows the truth, he's still just standing there looking at me. I still have no idea what he's thinking. I bet I can guess what he's feeling, and it's not good.
I wish he would say something. Yell at me. Call me a slut or a whore, anything, as long as it breaks this damn uneasy silence that's enveloped the whole room.
After an eternity of this torture, it's me who cracks first. "I'm sorry, Oliver. I never wanted to hurt you."
And then he surprises the hell out of me, by smiling. "You know, I always knew I'd lose to Clark eventually. I'm just surprised it took this long."
I'm speechless. What can I possibly say to that? Luckily, I don't have to say anything, because Oliver's speaking again.
"I can't say I'm thrilled with the way things are ending between us. I mean, no one wants to hear that their girlfriend cheated on them, and that she's pregnant by the other guy. But, oddly enough, knowing that the other guy is Clark, kinda takes some of the sting out of it."
I give him a dubious expression as I say, "Really? The fact that it's Clark makes it better?"
He relents. "No. If anything, it makes it worse."
"I really am sorry. It's just…he's Clark, you know?"
He nods with a sad smile and says, "Yeah, I know."
I can't believe how well this is going. I was sure there would at least be some yelling. Right there, I stop myself. There's no reason to go and jinx this.
"You know, you're taking this surprisingly well. I expected things to be a bit more…intense."
"Well, if you'd like, I could throw something. Maybe I could even yell and curse and call you names." He gives me a genuine smile when he's done.
"No thanks. I think I prefer the way things are going now." I can't help but give him a small smile of my own.
His mood sobers slightly when he continues. "You know, I'm not exactly a stranger to infidelity. Although, this is the first time someone has been unfaithful to me. I guess it's karmic payback for my treatment of women over the years."
I know he's trying to put on a brave face, but I can tell he's really hurting. I wish there was something I could do, but all I have to offer are words.
"You may have been a womanizer in the past, but you didn't deserve what I did to you. All I can say is, you're a great guy, and I know the right woman is out there. She's just not me."
It's not much, but I think I've softened the blow, a little.
"Well, I do get something out of all this."
"What's that?"
The smirk he gives me is absolutely devious.
"I get to tell your husband I slept with his wife."
The lighthearted mood I'm in vanishes when he says husband.
"Husband?" My voice is small and filled with doubt. "I may be having his child, but I don't know if Clark is going to want to marry me. And who says I want to marry him either?"
He's unfazed by my doubt and insecurity. "Come on, Chloe. He's the man of your dreams, and he's finally within your reach. I can't believe you'd just let him get away. And Clark is obviously in love with you."
"How can you possibly know that Clark is in love with me? I haven't seen him in a month, and you haven't seen him in longer than that."
I don't know why I'm fighting Oliver on this. I must really have issues.
"I know Clark is in love with you, because he slept with you." His words have a certain "duh" quality to them.
My brow furrows. I don't quite follow his logic. Apparently, he sees that I'm not getting what he's saying and continues. "It's simple. Clark's not the kind of guy who sleeps with just anybody. He's the kind of guy that has to be in love with a woman before he moves things to the next level."
"That's not true. He wanted to sleep with Lois. That's why they were at that B&B. He told me."
There. I actually feel kinda proud that I foiled his logic, and again, I have to wonder what's wrong with me.
"Chloe, why are you fighting this? Don't you want him to be in love with you?"
He's got a good point. Why am I fighting this?
"Of course I want him to be in love with me, but I'm just used to him not seeing me as a woman, you know? I guess I'm afraid to get my hopes up, because I don't want to have my heart broken again."
With that, he moves closer to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "He won't break your heart."
I can feel the beginnings of tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. "How do you know?"
"Because you're the mother of his child. And he loves you." He's so certain. He really believes that, and so do I.
I move into him, burying my face in his chest as the tears start to fall. I can feel his arms wrap around me, and I let him hold me.
After several minutes, I've composed myself. Pulling back from our embrace, I look into his eyes and give him a grateful smile.
"Thank you, Oliver."
He returns my smile with one of his own. "You're welcome."
"One thing though. I don't think it would be wise to tease Clark about having slept with me. I'd hate to see you lose any important appendages."
He stares at me for a moment, processing what I've said, then bursts out laughing. I can't help but laugh along with him.
I'm standing on the roof of the Daily Planet, and I'm about to call Clark. I know, this place doesn't hold the best memories for either of us, but somehow, it felt right that this should be the place to reunite.
The key rests in the palm of my hand. I don't know if this is going to work, but I have to have faith.
Raising my hand up and out from my body, I say his name. "Clark."
Nothing happens. I know that when Clark used a Kryptonian device to find a Kryptonian scientist living here on earth, he held it in his hand and said the man's name. I just did the same thing, and nothing happened.
I try again. "Clark." Again, nothing.
What am I doing wrong? Then it hits me. I'm trying to use a Kryptonian device to call a Kryptonian. Clark is not a Kryptonian name. God, I feel so stupid right now.
With a silent prayer, I try one more time. "Kal-El."
The key begins to glow and pulse with energy. I'm transfixed by it, and I don't notice the gust of wind and accompanying whoosh, but the key is no longer in my hand.
When I look up, I see him.
He's standing there, dressed from head to toe in a skin tight black suit and boots. It clings to him, showing off every muscle, every inch of his impressive physique. The only color is the symbol for the House of El emblazoned in crimson across his chest.
I'm awestruck. I just stand here staring at him. It's been so long since I've seen him I've forgotten how beautiful he is. As I continue to drink him in, I feel a heat spreading throughout my body. I scold myself. This is no time to be thinking about sex.
My eyes move from his body to his face. I'm surprised to see him sporting a beard. I've never seen him with a beard before. It makes him look dangerous, and more than a little sexy. Damn it, control yourself, Chloe.
Finally, I look into his eyes. He looks back at me with a hard and guarded intensity. Any trace of emotion is absent. I can't tell what he's thinking, but based on his stance and distance from me, I'd say he's not exactly happy to see me.
"Hi." Well that was a brilliant opening. I broke his heart, he disappeared for a month, and the best I can come up with is "Hi"?
He doesn't respond, so I decide to get right to the heart of the matter. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Clark. I'm sorry I didn't accept your heart when you offered it to me."
Still nothing. OK, I knew this wasn't going to be easy.
"I want you to know…no, I need you to know that I love you. I'm in love with you. I want to be with you, if you'll still have me." There's trepidation in my voice at the end.
He still hasn't made a move. Not a twitch or a fidget. He just looks at me, blinking occasionally.
"Please, talk to me. Say something, anything, even if it's that you don't feel the same way about me."
I'm really worried he will say he doesn't feel the same about me as I do for him.
Finally, he speaks. "You broke me. You made me believe that you wanted me the way I wanted you. You gave me something I'd wanted for years, and then you took it away. For a brief moment, you made me believe that the future might not be so empty. You made me believe you loved me." His voice is heavy with pain.
"I'm so sorry. I was afraid. I was afraid that we were both just reacting to the emotion of the moment, that when things had calmed down, you'd change your mind, so I changed mine first, to avoid being the one to get hurt. I never really thought that I'd be the one hurting you."
I can feel tears threatening. "Not accepting what you were offering was the biggest mistake of my life, my greatest regret. I've spent the last month searching for you, so I could make things right."
What he says next nearly breaks me. "I don't know if you can make things right."
No. I can't be too late. I have to be able to fix this. There's more than just my feelings at stake here. It's time to lay it all out there.
"Clark, I'm pregnant."
For a moment, I can see the hope in his eyes, but it's gone as fast as it appeared.
"Congratulations. I'm sure Oliver will be an excellent father." There's resignation in his voice.
I should have known he wouldn't believe that he could be the father.
He turns away, preparing to leave. My heart is in my throat, and I start to panic. He can't leave. I can't let him walk away again. I won't.
"Clark, wait! Oliver isn't the father, you are."
That stops him in his tracks. He turns back to me, and looks into my eyes, trying to determine if I'm telling the truth, or just telling him what I think he wants to hear.
"How do you know?" He's skeptical, but I can hear a hint of hope in his voice.
"She told me."
He's totally confused by that. I don't blame him, I was confused too. "I met our daughter. She came to me in a dream."
I don't know if he believes me, but he's intrigued. "Her name is Lara. She looks just like you. Clark, she's beautiful. And she's so smart. She knew that you were hurting, and that I was the one that hurt you. She told me to use the key to call you. If it weren't for her, I would never have found you."
"Please, Clark. If you ever loved me, if you still love me, I need you to believe me. You're going to be a father. Don't you see? You've always been afraid you'd end up alone, but now you've got a daughter. Whether you believe it or not, you won't end up alone. You're not alone. You have us." I place my hand over my stomach to emphasize my point.
Tears are slowly running down my cheeks. I've done all I can do. If he doesn't believe me, it's over.
His gaze moves from my face to my midsection. Based on how many times I've seen him use his powers, I know he's x-raying me. After what feels like an eternity, a smile slowly blooms on his lips.
I feel a wave of relief wash over me. He believes me. A watery smile pulls at the corners of my mouth.
Before I know what's happening, his arms are around me, and his lips are on mine.
I'm more than a little shocked by the sudden change in mood, but I recover quickly and kiss him back. My eyes slide shut, and my hands glide over his chest as they make their way to the back of his neck where they tangle in his hair.
That low down heat I felt earlier has turned into an inferno. I can practically feel myself dripping with moisture as our kiss continues to increase in intensity.
I could swear I hear something that sounds like cloth tearing, but my heart is beating so loudly, I can't even hear my own moans as our tongues duel.
The next thing I know, he's lifting me off the ground, one hand on my ass, the other on my back. I respond by wrapping my legs around his waist and locking my ankles.
I still suddenly when I feel his hard length enter me. I know we've only done this once before, but the way he stretches and fills me makes me feel so complete, like he was made for me. I briefly wonder if he feels the same sense of rightness about our union as I do.
The time for thought and reflection is over, because he's started to move, slowly in an out of me. I redouble my efforts at kissing him, raking my nails over his neck and scalp. It's times like this that I'm glad he's not a normal man. I can just let myself go without worrying about hurting him.
His pace becomes increasingly fast and decidedly more intense. I'm kinda surprised by his lack of restraint, but I'm finding I like this more impulsive side of him.
Each thrust brings with it new waves of pleasure as he hits that one spot that sends an overload of sensation coursing through my body.
I can feel the pleasure building. I'm so close to the edge. And I'm falling.
Stars explode behind my eyes, and a long moan escapes my lips only to be captured by his. I'm riding the crest of the wave, and there's no end in sight.
Just when I think it's over, I feel him tense and he's pulsing inside of me, filling me with his essence. And I feel another burst of pleasure ripple through me, smaller than the first, but no less intense.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the pleasure subsides.
My face is buried in his neck and his is buried in my hair. Our breathing starts to even out and we just hold each other, savoring the moment.
After a while, I finally open my eyes. I'm shocked by what I see. Or maybe I'm more shocked by what I don't see.
The roof of the Daily Planet is gone. In fact, the entire skyline of Metropolis is gone. All I see are clouds and early evening stars.
I chance a look down. "Clark, we're flying." My voice is filled with awe.
"I know."
I think he's referring to our blissed out state. His face is still pressed into my hair, and I'm pretty certain his eyes are closed, so he doesn't know where we are.
"Clark, open your eyes."
Reluctantly, he picks up his head and looks around. After a moment, he looks into my eyes, and I can see the wonder dancing in those beautiful blue-green orbs.
"We're actually flying Clark."
"I guess that means we've joined the mile high club."
His smile is huge, and I can't help but laugh. But he silences me with a tender kiss, which I return wholeheartedly.
When we break apart, his expression turns serious. "Chloe, I know that I haven't always been the greatest friend, and I know that I've hurt you by overlooking you and taking you for granted. But I want you to know, that from this moment on, I will do my very best to show you just how much you mean to me. I'll prove to you that you are everything I've ever wanted in another person. I'll spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I love you."
"I don't know exactly what the future holds, and I'm still terrified that eventually I'll have to face it alone, but that's the future. This is now. And right now, I want to ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me."
I don't like the sound of that, but I muster up all of the courage I have. "OK."
His gaze is intense as he looks into my eyes. I'm really starting to get nervous. What could he possibly want to ask me?
"Chloe, will you marry me?"
OK, I wasn't expecting that. "What?"
His voice is calm and confident. "Will you marry me?"
I've dreamed about hearing those words from him, but I never thought he'd actually say them. I feel my eyes start to tear up, and I smile as I say with all the excitement of a little girl, "Yes!"
As his lips capture mine in a searing kiss, I can't help but think that the future just got a whole lot brighter.
She's drawing a picture with her crayons when suddenly she stops. A huge smile spreads across her face, and before I know it, she's running out the front door shouting, "Daddy's home! Daddy's home!"
I don't think I'll ever get used to that. Ever since she was born, Lara has had this amazing connection to her father. If I didn't know better, I'd say she had super hearing, because she always knows when he's coming. But we've tested her, and she doesn't have any powers, at least not yet.
Getting up from my place at the table, I make my way outside.
As I open the door, I'm greeted by the sound of laughter. Stepping out onto the porch, I see Clark floating several feet off the ground, a giggling Lara in his arms.
Leaning up against the porch railing, I simply marvel at the sight of my husband and our daughter. I still can't believe that this is my life. I mean, I'm married to Superman. And I never thought that I'd be a mother, but I've loved every minute of it.
Standing here, watching Clark and Lara play, I can't help but wonder, what would my life be like if Clark and I had never gotten together?
I shudder to think that I might never have known the type of love I share with my best friend. And I don't even want to think about how empty my world would be without Lara. But I'm most grateful that I could give Clark the hope he needs to face the future. Every day, I thank God that I have such a wonderful family. Truly, I am blessed.
And speaking of blessed, I rest my hand over my ever expanding stomach when I feel an energetic kick. Clark sees me standing here and gives me a smile as he approaches with Lara in his arms. I can't help the smile that graces my lips in return.
Yep, you are one lucky lady, Chloe Kent.
