Prologue
I've always been all alone. Well not always. There was a time when I was happy and I had a family, but that time is gone. And it is never coming back. I used to think that my parents and me were the happiest people in the world. Then they were taken away from me and everything changed. I died my hair jet black, got my lip pierced, and started cutting myself. Of course, to understand you would have to know my story so, in short, here it is.
I was thirteen when my parents died. We fought like every normal family, but whenever it seemed like the conflict was getting out of hand we fixed it. We always spent time together. When they died I did too.
Both of my parents died in a car crash. After that I vowed I would never drink. A drunk driver hit us. I was the one to survive the crash unharmed. Most people say I'm lucky. I disagree. If I were really luck I would be with my parents right now.
Dad died first. He was killed instantly upon impact. So was the other driver. An ambulance took mom and me to the hospital. I insisted that I was fine, but they put me on a stretcher anyway. Just minutes after arriving at the hospital Mom's heart stopped beating. I sobbed as I waited for my aunt and uncle to get to the hospital. I wanted to die.
My aunt and uncle were my only living relatives. They never liked me so they put me in foster care and that is where I've been for three years. Now the story goes on. It may not be a particularly happy story, but it was mine and it was all I had. Until one fateful day.
Chapter 1
I am sitting in the bathroom, holding a razor blade to my wrist. To think that years of counseling are going down the drain for one little thing. I haven't cut myself for a year and a half. And the sad thing is that I'm only sitting here because I got in a fight with my foster parents. My aunt and uncle called and they think it would be a good idea if I went to visit them. Apparently they "miss" me. Yeah right. If they knew they were going to miss me, then why they dump me here the first chance they got? I sigh and run my tongue over my lip ring. Standing up I place the razor on the sink and leave the bathroom.
Mickey and Alex are playing in the hallway. When she sees me, Mickey stands up with a smirk on her face. She may act dumb, but Mickey is actually very aware of things. Me especially. I'm her favorite subject. Lucky me.
"I know what you were doing in there." She says it so matter- of- fact that I want to slap her. "You were slitting your wrists, weren't you? I'm telling Donna." She starts towards the stairs but I grab her arm and hold it tight.
"You say anything and I will personally make your life a living hell. Got it? Besides do you see any cuts on my arm? No. I did not cut myself. Now beat it you little twit." I let go of her arm and storm into my too-small room. I make sure to slam the door after me. Hard.
"Leanah, don't slam doors." Donna's voice rings loud and clear. " Whatever," I call back. I slowly walk over and plop onto my small twin bed. My whole room is like the size of a walk- in- closet. The bed takes up one wall and my dresser takes up another. It makes me claustrophobic.
I grab my iPod and blast the music in my ears. I don't even pay attention to the lyrics. Finally I decide that music is doing nothing to calm me down. I turn off my iPod and head downstairs.
As soon as my foot hits the bottom stair I freeze. I want to run as fast as I can back upstairs and never come back down. Just as I turn around an icy voice hits me. Well not icy, but it might as well be.
"Leanah. How are you sweetie?" My aunt's voice is like a knife through my heart. Just hearing it makes me want to scream and punch every inch of her. Also she said my name wrong.
"It's pronounced Lee-nah, not Lee- Anah." I roll my eyes.
"I know sweetie. Now why don't you come over here. John and I have something to discuss with you." I look at my Uncle John. He is definitely bigger than the last time I saw him. Plus he is wearing a fake smile that I don't buy at all. None-the-less I walk over and lean against the refrigerator door.
"Leanah I want you to know that Marie and I are terribly sorry for leaving you here."
"Yes. We wanted to bring you to our home, but we just weren't ready to take on a teenager." I would have believed them if it weren't for Aunt Marie's eyes. They betrayed her. I could still see the hate in her eyes as she took in my all black outfit, my black hair, and the lip ring in the corner of my mouth.
"We already talked with Donna and we all think it would be for the best if you got to know your family. It has been arranged for you to come and live with us." I'm positive my confusion is showing on my face. Uncle John opens his mouth to say more, but I cut him off.
"You mean, for like a week?" Aunt Marie pinches the bridge of her perfect nose. Curtsey of plastic surgery of course. I turn to look at Donna, for reassurance, but all I see are tears pouring down her face. My voice is barely above a whisper. "It's not for just a week is it?"
"No. It's for good." The knife is plunged through me once again as I run upstairs, fighting tears all the way.
Aunt Marie and Uncle John are coming to get me in an hour. Then we are driving to the airport, where we will be flying to my new home. In Germany. Right now I am curled in a ball on the floor of my room. Mickey keeps coming to my door and knocking on it.
"Leanah, please open the door." I stand up and give in. I open the door and she walks inside. Mickey is only ten. Six years younger than me. She is actually very sweet. I close the door once she is in the room and then grab my pillow and hug my knees.
"Leanah, you'll come back to visit, won't you?" I didn't notice until now that Mickey is crying. I bite my lip to keep in my own tears.
"I don't know Mickey. I hope so. Life wont be the same without you annoying me all day." I smile, trying to make light of the situation. It works. Mickey lets out a little laugh. "Hey. Why don't you help me pack?" I point to the two open suitcases I have. So far all I have packed are my toiletries. "I need all the help I can get. You take the bottom drawer and put my pants in this one." I point to the largest suitcase. " We'll race to see who fills their suitcase first. Ready, set, GO!"
Mickey pulls the bottom drawer of my dresser out and starts throwing my jeans haphazardly in the suitcase. I start throwing shirts and underwear into the other one. When I get to the back of the shirt drawer I notice a hot pink shirt. All of my shirts are either black or purple. Suddenly my hearts stops as I recognize the shirt my parents gave me on my thirteenth birthday. The day they died.
My tears flow freely now and I don't try to stop them. I grab the last of the shirts and stuff them in the suitcase. Then I grab the picture of my parents and put it in my carry- on bag, along with my laptop, charger, and iPod. Then I sit on the bed with my tears still flowing.
"What's wrong Leanah? Is it because you're leaving?" Mickey's concerned face brings about fresh tears as I slowly nod my head. She hugs me and quickly leaves the room. I grab the rest of my pants and zip up the suitcases. After one last look at the room, I grab them and roll them into the hall. The room turns dark as I shut the door.
