We're both sitting alone in that shitty little apartment that we've shared for the past two months. Unsurprisingly, there's an uncomfortable air between us, hinting and telling us that we're both screwed.
"I'd die for you." Matt says to me, as he looks up from his stupid little game.
"Oh yeah?" I sneer at him, as I rise from my seat and pace over to the window and take in the scenery beneath us. It's a sight—for sore eyes that is. Shitty little neighborhood we've got here. I wonder how many drug deals, robberies and murders have occurred on these streets. I can't imagine.
"Of course. I couldn't imagine it any other way." He says this with false pity. It's always fake, and I can always tell.
"I can." I say.
Matt finally looks up at me, and not just from his game. About damn time he focuses on something else. "What d'ya mean?" he asks, hitting the start button on his game in order to pause it.
"Don't help me tomorrow." I say. "Don't help me ever."
"What?" Matt's confused. He has absolutely no idea what I'm talking about.
"There's nothing between us anymore, you know." Matt's starting to get the idea, but he pretends he doesn't.
"What're you talkin' about?" he asks, not bothering to stand to see what's got me going.
"I'm talking about us." I say with a sneer. "Don't you get it?"
I don't think he does.
"There's no passion, no communication, no concern—none of that shit! It's all fuckin' gone!" All this time, I haven't looked back at him. "We're not the same as we used to be."
Matt sets the game aside. He understands now. A part of me doesn't care that I've hurt him.
"Your friends hate me, you don't take sides, trying to reason with them that I'm not as crazy as I give off, you want it all. You want a lover, and your friends, and you don't do a damn thing when they go off the deep end and say I treat you like a fuckin' drug!" I finally look back at him. My eyes are fiery, hurt, and on the verge of tears. "I'll fuckin' show them." Matt has said nothing, he has not moved, he hasn't done a damn thing.
Nearly screaming, I through my fist against the wall. My knuckles burn with white hot fury, and my body shakes. "If I treat you like a fuckin' drug, I'll fuckin' show them I can kick this habit!"
Matt pulls the naïve card again. "Mel, what're you talking about?"
"There's no love in this fuckin' relationship, anymore, Matt!" I scream at him, feeling the flesh finally split on my knuckles, and blood begin to seep through.
"What? Mel, I love you—"
"Shut up!" I scream again. "I don't care if you do! You never show it! You never act on it, and you sure as hell don't get—that just saying 'I love you' does not necessarily mean it's true! It's like fuckin' gossip! Just because you say it more, does not mean it's true!"
"You're out of your mind."
"No! I'm not!" I snap. "I'm just really fuckin' observant! You never say more than five fuckin' words to me at a time!" And it's true. He hasn't exceeded five words since I brought this up. "If you can fuckin' say 'I love you', but can't act upon it—I don't see what the hell I stay with you for!"
And then came the inevitable words.
"Matt, it's over."
And that was all I had to say.
THIS IS NOT JUST A FANFIC. THIS IS A MESSAGE. MATT. I MEAN EXACTLY WHAT MELLO HAS SAID IN THIS. IF YOU CAN'T ACT UPON IT, AND LOVE ME LIKE YOU SAY YOU DO, THERE IS NOTHING HERE FOR ME. AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED—YOU ARE NO LONGER MY MATT.
