"God…feels like years since I just…sat down."
Shepard gave a small, strangled chuckle at Anderson's words, her eyes lazily turning towards him. A haze filled her vision, but she stayed conscious, refusing to let them shut. She knew what would happen if she gave in to her exhaustion. She couldn't do that; after all…she had made a promise.
"I think you've earned a rest." she murmured, cracking a weak smile, able to taste the blood still on her tongue. Her whole body was screaming at her, begging for her to just give in, to let go. She ignored it as Anderson gave another groan, his eyelids fluttering.
"Stay with me." she breathed, gazing desperately at her superior, her comrade, her friend. "We're almost through this."
His head moved slowly, turning his eyes toward her, his voice low and breaking. "You did good, child. You did…good. I'm proud of you." he said quietly, setting a hand on hers. He squeezed it weakly. Her heart swelled with pride, and she held his hand tightly, feeling the tears burn in her eyes.
She turned her gaze toward him again, smiling. "Thank you, sir."
His grip on her hand had relaxed. She knew as soon as she looked at him, but the fear that gripped her heart was almost overwhelming. The only father she had ever known…
"Anderson?"
No reply. She stared at him for a few moments, before shutting her eyes, squeezing his hand once more. She gave a silent sob; this wasn't how she had wanted this to end. As her gaze lowered weakly to her arm, covered in her own lifeblood, she knew she wouldn't be long behind him. She would see him there in that bar, along with Ash, Mordin, Thane, and Legion. She'd wait as long as it took for the rest of their squad…she'd wait forever…
…
"Shepard? Commander!"
The voice broke through the haze in her mind, and Shepard realized to her distant horror that she had been fading. Her eyes snapped open and she cringed forward, grunting. She gasped weakly, the agony tearing through her side- she was positive she'd broken several bones. She'd lost a lot of blood. She had no idea how she was going to get out of this alive, or if she even would…but all she knew right now, is that Admiral Hackett needed her.
She would see this through to the end if it killed her.
"I- uh…what do you need me to do?" she managed out as she forced herself away from the Admiral, reluctantly letting go of his hand as she threw herself forward with a bit too much vigor, collapsing on the floor. She grunted, a dull throb in her head as she crawled towards the console, watching the red liquid drip onto the floor.
"Nothing's happening. The Crucible's not firing."
She whimpered quietly, jerking her head back to look up at the console, moving with as much strength as she could muster towards it. She boldly moved a foot, trying to pick herself up. Pain shot through her leg, and she knew the bone was broken- with a muffled gasp, she collapsed back onto the ground.
"It's…got to be something on your end."
Admiral Hackett sounded confused, worried. She wondered absently if he had given up hope, or perhaps regretted pushing her like this.
"Commander Shepard!" the voice barked, and she gave another sob, propelling herself towards the console with one arm, leaving a blood trail in her wake. She reached a hand up, watching her print smear across the marble.
"I…don't see- I'm not sure how to…" she whimpered, confused. What did he want from her? Before she even knew what was happening, her eyes rolled back in her head, and the floor came rushing up to meet her.
"Commander!"
Her eyelids opened slowly, a fog before her vision as she began to force herself up. Her body didn't ache quite as much…was she dead? Was this it?
She lifted her head, gazing to the stars around here…and then to the figure walking towards her. Her brow furrowed in confusion. What was…
"Wake up."
His voice broke through her haze, and she grunted, staggering up to her feet. She put all her weight on the non-broken leg, standing haphazardly as she clutched her pistol in one hand, the other tightening around the wound in her side.
"What..? Where am I?" she managed out, looking towards the child. His form was the same as the boy that had haunted her dreams since she had left Earth…only she knew it wasn't that kid. It couldn't be, unless she was dead too. Her eyes scanned the area, wondering if she would see any of her old friends.
"The Citadel. It's my home."
She blinked once, looking back down at the boy.
"Who are you?"
"I am the Catalyst." his voice responded. It was bold, sounded angry. She didn't have the energy to care.
"I…though the Citadel was the Catalyst." she responded honestly.
"No." he replied curtly. "The Citadel is part of me."
She had no idea what the hell was going on. A dull pain was still throbbing throughout her whole body. Desperately, she looked up at the boy again, croaking out, "I need to stop the Reapers. Do you know how I can do that?"
"Perhaps."
Her eyes lit up with hope.
"I control the Reapers. They are my solution."
She watched him walk away, puzzled. "The…solution to what?"
He stopped briefly, turning to glance back at her. "Chaos." his voice echoed, and she just watched him go, her eyes squinting through the bloody fog surrounding her brain.
At a loss for what else to do, she began following him, her eyes still moving around the starry area. She could see ships exploding around them, and her heart ached with worry. How was her crew? Was Garrus okay? When she had seen the Mako blow up and nearly flatten him and Liara, she knew that they couldn't come along…turning him away after he had been on her six since they'd met had been the hardest thing she'd ever had to do, but she knew it was for the best. She couldn't handle the thought of losing him. She couldn't let that become a reality.
The boy continued walking, uninterested in her pain. "The created will always rebel against their creators. But we found a way to stop that from happening. A way to restore order."
Her eyes narrowed again, and she tried to straighten her back, growling a little. "By…wiping out organic life?"
The boy stopped abruptly; it seemed she had struck a nerve. Immediately, he turned back to face her.
"No. We harvest advanced civilizations, leaving the younger ones alone." He turned again, continuing on towards the beacon in the middle of the room. "Just as we left your people the last time we were here."
She didn't have the strength to think of the possibilities of what this…thing was saying to her. She just numbly continued walking behind him, suddenly coughing up a minute amount of blood.
"But you..killed the rest." she breathed out, not bothering to wipe her mouth off.
"We helped them ascend so they could make way for new life, storing the old life in Reaper form." he corrected, looking out to some of the Reapers nearby the Citadel, apparently oblivious or simply not acknowledging her presence so close by.
"I think we'd rather keep our own form." Shepard spat venomously, scowling at the child before her.
"No, you can't." he demanded, turning back to face her, the face impassive. "Without us to stop it, synthetics will destroy all organics. We've created the cycle so that never happens. That's the solution."
She shut her eyes, releasing a slow breath, trying to steady her body. She wanted nothing more than to just lay down and sleep, but she had to keep standing. She knew she was close to the end. She was almost there.
"But you're taking away our future…without future, we have no hope. Without hope…" she stifled a weak, bitter laugh, "…we might as well be machines programmed to do what we're told."
The Catalyst looked up to her. "You have hope." he looked back to the beacon. "More than you think. The fact that you are standing here, the first organic ever, proves it."
She knew she should probably be humbled by that, but she felt nothing. She just wanted this to be over.
"…but it also proves my solution won't work anymore."
She peered towards the child, unsure what he was getting at.
"So now what?" she breathed, figuring she might as well humor him. What else could she do, after all?
"We find a new solution."
Her head throbbed dully, and she felt like she was going to be sick all of a sudden. "Why are you telling me this?" she forced out, clenching her jaw. "Why help me?"
"You have altered the variables."
She gasped, cringing with the pain in her side as her body screamed at her to rest. "What do you mean?" she hissed.
"The Crucible changed me. Created new…possibilities. But I can't make them happen. If there is to be a new solution, you must act. It is now in your power to destroy us."
She looked at him, confused. Why was this thing, this…AI allowing her the option? She didn't understand…but she didn't care. She'd take the opportunity. She needed to end this war, for the sake of the galaxy- for the sake of all the people she loved.
An image flashed in her hand- she saw Anderson walking towards the red console, gunshots blasting in front of him, intent on ridding the universe of the Reapers once and for all. Her eyes rolled back briefly and she felt like she was about to faint. She put out a foot, steadying herself as she grimaced.
"But be warned; others will be destroyed as well. The Crucible will not discriminate. All synthetics will be targeted. Even you are partially synthetic."
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously- could she really trust this thing to tell her the truth? This thing that controlled the Reapers like they were pets? She had her doubts, but she listened patiently.
"What exactly will happen?" she demanded.
"Your Crucible device appears to be largely intact. However, the effects of the blast will not be constrained to the Reapers. Technology you rely on will be affected, but those who survive should have little difficulty repairing the damage."
Shepard fell silent for a few moments, gazing at the floor, considering the idea. The boy couldn't be telling the truth…she refused to believe him.
"There will still be losses. But no more than what has already been lost."
"But the Reapers will be destroyed?" she forced out again, her breathing becoming labored.
"Yes, but the peace won't last." the boy said simply, as if it was inevitable. It made her fist tighten around the pistol. "Soon, your children will create synthetics, and then the chaos will come back."
"There has to be another way…" she murmured.
"There is. You could instead use the energy of the Crucible to seize control of the Reapers."
Her gaze shifted to the side opposite of the red console, and a flash of the Illusive Man, struggling against the energy, burned itself into her brain. She blinked rapidly, frowning.
"So..the Illusive Man was right after all." she whispered with a grim sigh.
"Yes. But he could never have taken control…because we already controlled him."
She said nothing for a moment, before replying. "But I can?"
"You will die. You will control us, but you will lose everything you have."
She looked at him incredulously. "How can I control the Reapers if I'm dead?"
He turned to face her fully. "Your corporeal form will be dissolved, but your thoughts, and even your memories, will continue. You will no longer be organic. Your connection to your kind will be lost, though you will remain aware of their existence."
She stared at the boy. How could she do that? Allow herself to take control of the monstrosities that were the Reapers? She had seen the horrors that they had inflicted on every species in the galaxy- she couldn't let herself do that. There was no way in hell she would even think about it. No, these sons of bitches needed to die…but she kept her face straight, refusing to show the Catalyst what she was thinking.
"I didn't fight this war so I could give up everything I have." she murmured venomously, her eyes narrowing at the consoles before her.
"And I do not look forward to being replaced by you, but…I would be forced to accept it."
Would he? If she moved towards the console for Controlling the Reapers, would he just…let her? What was stopping him from simply killing her? It's not like it would take much at this point.
"Not if I refuse to do it." she returned.
"There is another solution." the boy said patiently, and she followed his gaze to the beam in the middle.
"Synthesis."
"And that is?" she asked expectantly. Her breathing was becoming more and more difficult.
"Add your energy to the Crucible's. The chain reaction will combine all synthetic and organic life into a new framework. A new…DNA."
He wanted her to gene-rape her friends? To destroy the very fundamental nature of their bodies? No…that was just wrong. That was more power than she could ever even imagine to handle. Who was she to play God with their genetic makeups?
"I…I don't know." she answered honestly, turning her gaze to the floor again, brow furrowing.
"Why not?" the boy asked expectantly, and she growled quietly. "Synthetics are already part of you. Can you imagine your life without them?"
"That's beside the point." she muttered.
"Your time is at an end. You must decide."
She frowned, her head lolling back to the side, gazing at the choices before her.
"…let's get this over with."
