Black

She felt the coffee pass between her lips. She thought of him, she always thought of him when she was drinking coffee. For only one reason. When it passed through her lips, it scorched them. Just like how her lips felt when he kissed her. Or used to kiss her. She took another sip of coffee. It was like another kiss from him. It was her own fault she didn't get the proper feeling any more. It was her own fault she was addicted to coffee. She loved coffee. She loved how it tasted. She only ever drank it black. She never drank it white, and she never put sugar in it. She had been drinking it for ages, ever since she made the stupid decision to leave him. She still didn't quite understand why she left. She knew why, she just didn't fully get it. She still had the same feelings for him. She still loved him and cared for him. She would always ask Caitlyn, after one of her dates with Nate, whether he had mentioned anything about him. It was so obvious that she still loved him. Well, of course it was. One can hardly hide the fact that they are head over heels. She wished that she hadn't left. She wished that she hadn't been so naive. She felt so idiotic looking back on it. She drank coffee to rekindle the memories.


"Mitchie, why don't you just try and get back in contact?" her best friend asked her one day. She considered it for a second. She decided against it; he probably hated her.

"No Cait."

"And why not? You haven't had the same spark ever since that day." Caitlyn was right; she didn't have the same spark. There was no spark to speak of. She had given up on music; the first thing that brought them together.

"Because he'll never go along with it; He must hate me." A vivid image of him sneering at her crossed her mind. She shuddered. She then remembered that she did drink coffee when she was with him. It wasn't as often though. He constantly complained about it. Apparently he hated coffee. He only ever liked the taste of it when it was mixed in with her breath. Actually, he told her this, but with the exception of that fact he said saliva, not breath. Many people would cringe at that. She didn't; it made her love him even more. She didn't move in with him, but she spent a lot of time at his place. So she kept some of her things there. The only thing she left there was her Audrey Hepburn mug; Audrey Hepburn was her favourite actress.

"Mitchie, just call him. Nate says he mopes over you," her ears perked up. "I know you still have his number in your cell." She did. No matter how hard she had tried to get rid of all things about him in her life, she just couldn't do it. She missed him. Way too much. She sighed. She couldn't call him. That would be too weird. What would she say 'I still love you, want to get back together'? Doubtful, very doubtful. What a ridiculous notion. Yet, she found herself pulling her cell phone out of her pocket. She went into her phone book, went down to his name and pressed the call button. She stared at the screen. What was she doing? It rang out twice before he picked up; he never ignored calls, especially hers.

"Hello? Hello? Mitchie? I know you're -" she hung up. He knew it was her. How did he know it was her? He had obviously kept her number. Why would he do that? She had broken up with him. He should have deleted her number in a fit of rage or something.

"Mitchie, why did you do that?" Caitlyn pressed. She tuned her out. All she could hear was his words over and over. Again and again. She couldn't take it. She collapsed onto the floor. She wrapped her arms around her legs and cried. Letting out all her emotions; like a mess like her should. Caitlyn sat next to her and wrapped her arm around her shoulders and let the silly, confused girl cry. If she wanted to elaborate, she would in her own time. What a state. And it was all her fault.

"I've fucked up, Cait. I've fucked up so bad, that I can't fix it. I can't get the one thing I had to live for back. I'm a complete idiot. I don't know what I was thinking when I broke up with him. I may as well just kill myself."

"Don't you dare think that, Mitch! F course you can get him back. You're all he thinks about. Which is understandable, because you're an amazing person. And what would I do without my best friend, huh?" what Caitlyn had failed to mention was the fact that he calls out her name in his sleep. Caitlyn had, of course, gotten this information from her dutiful boyfriend, Nate.

"I'm such a tool, Cait. I broke up with him. I broke up with him because I was scared of my own fucking feelings. What a fool I am! I love him, and what did I do? Oh yeah, I broke up with him." She sobbed even harder. She still kept replaying his voice in her mind. She loved the way he had said her name. She had always thought her name was boring. When he said it, it sounded wonderful and melodic. Caitlyn had called her Mitch; he only ever called her Mitch, apart from that phone call. It sounded good when he said it, even better than when he said her proper name. Well not hr proper name, her proper name is Michelle, but no one knew her by that. With that, she stood up. She had had her meltdown. She now needed coffee. No more feeling sorry for herself. What a shame he wasn't there to make her feel better about herself like he always used to.

AN: another depressing one. Only one more to go, and that's the sequel. Oh and when it says he calls out her name, its Mitchie's name he's calling.