Author's Note: I was just watching this compilatione of Hooch-moments on YouTube and it ended with the words "The End of Hooch?". As I know my Discworld by heart, as certain quote sprang to mind… And then I just had to write this, lest I get stuck with CapsLock for the rest of my life.


Hooch was getting angry. People had been following him around the whole day, for no apparent reason. They wouldn't stop. First it was just the Asian boy but now three of his colleages had joined him. It was interfering with Hooch's work, and ever since that thing with Turner, he'd been on the edge. Someone was going to pay for this.

Rex walked on after Hooch. The guy seemed to have some serious anger management issues but a free weekend was a free weekend, and after the killer shifts he'd been getting recently, he was going to need some time to relax. But he couldn't help thinking something was a little off with the whole thing. When doctor Turk told him to follow Hooch, he'd definitely been trying to suppress a grin. And now those three other guys were following him, too. He couldn't help but wonder what doctor Turk had promised them in return.

Hooch stopped and Rex stopped, too. He put out his arms to stop the other three guys from pushing him into Hooch. Last time he bumped into Hooch had been bad enough. That flame had been ridiculously high.

Hooch turned to face the interns.

"I'm about to use the toilet right now… So I hope you all are happy about the order that you're standing in because if you follow me in there, that is the order that I'm going to kill you."

He turned around and started walking towards the toilets with a crazy grin on his face.

"Oh yeah… Today is gonna be a good day! Yes it is!"

Rex followed him despite an overwhelming feeling of dread. What was he supposed to do? Sure, the guy seemed more than a little unbalanced but he wasn't going to kill anyone, right? And anyway, he was so deprived of sleep. He really needed that weekend off. Barely hesitating he stepped into the men's room. He didn't even have time to realize that Hooch had been hiding behind the door before the man grabbed his jaw and twisted. Rex fell into a heap on the floor.

A second later he got up and looked around. The room suddenly seemed very gray. He could hear some distant screams. In front of him Hooch was rubbing his hands together with the signature mad grin.

"Dude, that really hurt!"

Rex realized that Hooch was looking sraight trough him. He turned around and saw the other three interns stare at something at his feet. He looked down.

"Oh," he said, rather unintelligently.

YES, said a voice that seemed to go straight into his brain without bothering with taking the detour to his ears.

Rex turned around. A black hooded figure was standing in front of the sink, holding a scythe.

"I'm dead," he said.

IT SEEMS SO, the figure agreed.

"But I've got a report to hand in! And somebody's gotta do something about Hooch. The guy killed me! Look, I just need a little more time…"

THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR HOOCH. FOR YOU, HOOCH IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF HOOCH.

"But…"

YOU ARE DEAD. AS A DOCTOR, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT DEATH IS FINAL.

"Technically, I'm not really a doctor yet…"

NEVERTHELESS.

Rex shook his head as he began to fade away.

"Hooch is crazy…"

If Death could have smiled properly, it is possible that he would have.

YES, he said. HE IS.


Just a very weird little thing. Feel free to review, you'll a virtual cookie if you do. If you got the reference to "Thief of Time", you'll get an extra one.

The original quote is:

"THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU, THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE." ~ Thief of Time, Terry Pratchett