Disclaimer: Characters and settings borrowed from Joss & Co. aren't mine. Judith, William, and Calder (and Marty) are mine, so in the spirit of fan fiction if you ever decide to use them, please credit me. Thanks!
Spoilers: Assuming there are still folks out there who need spoiler alerts for a show more than 10 years off the air... Everything.
Author's Note: Updated and polished sequel to The Art of Human Interaction and The Art of Vampire Interaction. It's still the same story, but better. I've updated descriptions, placed things on the map, and smoothed out a few wrinkles. If you're coming here from the previous two stories, I hope you enjoy it. Look for more to come.
If this is your first time to this series, you can probably read this one first... The other two set up character profiles and relationships that would help you enjoy this story more, but if you don't care about that kind of thing, than go for it. This one is a lot more action/plot-heavy, and that might be just what you're looking for.
A note about shipping: This story deals with canon Angel/Cordy issues. I personally love their relationship, but I also love the other (non-romantic) relationships in this story. I love relationships in general. If you're looking for a shipping fic, this story has its moments in the unresolved sexual tension sense, but is probably not ultimately what you're looking for (if what you're looking for is fluff, smut, or some combination thereupon). Just a fair warning.
A teeny tiny note about Time Lords: Yes, I know. Wrong show. Except it's not. While originally separate, this series eventually crosses over with the Blood & Time series that I'm co-authoring with Babblefest, which is an Angel/Doctor Who crossover. Therefore, the stories that have happened in that series that take place prior to this story are canon for Angel. This is why he references Time Lords toward the end. It's for 'verse consistency and you needn't worry yourself about it.
Finally, but absolutely not least-ly, the art associated with this story was made by the ever-talented Ashes at Midnight, to whom I owe a deep and grateful thanks. She can be found here: u/1815866/ashes-at-midnight
Chapter One
Now they'd done it. The Powers That Be were usually pretty good about foreseeing these kinds of events. And they foresaw this one: it was just a tad too late.
"Good job, Charlie, send her, why don't you? Did you forget to check with George before sending a vision again?"
"No, no, it's okay, I can fix it! Look!" Charlie swished his fingers. "See?... Oh… Um. Uh-oh."
"Uh-oh?" George came up behind them and looked over their shoulders. "Uh-oh. Oh man, Charlie, Lucy is not going to be happy. You're going to lose us two Champions this time. That, or we'll lose her. Too bad… I hate wasted potential." George clapped Charlie on the shoulder consolingly and walked away.
"Good luck, mate." Jerry said, also clapping Charlie on the shoulder. "She's gonna demote you, she will."
"You can't demote a higher power!" Charlie cried in panic.
"She'll find a way. I can't believe you just did that." Jerry thought a moment. "You know, it's a good thing we decided not to hire that Ultimate Evil in the Lesar dimension. Now the scales can stay balanced. That may be the only thing going for you."
Jerry walked away, too, leaving a crestfallen, horrified Charlie to think of something to tell Lucy when she heard about this.
"Oh, crap!"
Of course, Cordelia thought, the Powers couldn't have included this in their vision.
"That's right," she said loudly and with as much sarcasm as she could muster, "send your loyal Champion into mortal danger without warning! Thanks for the lesson in vigilance, but I think I could have done without it!"
Cordy was well aware that talking to an invisible entity made her look quite insane, but as the only other people in the alley were the three vampires eying her neck hungrily, she really didn't care. It had been a while since she'd faced vampires, but it wasn't the sort of thing you forgot how to do.
She swung the bag that she had brought off her shoulder, tossed it aside, and raised her slightly sweaty fists with a trembling breath. The first vampire lunged at her and she ducked. Fighting vampires was not usually part of the job requirement; thus, when she'd signed on as an eternal employee, the Powers had not seen fit to equip her with any superpowers beyond a few extra senses. Oh, the Powers were going to get an earful next time she had the chance. If she had the chance.
She kicked one vampire into a pile of metal sheets and slammed another into a hard, concrete wall. Cordy swiveled around to face the third, already breathing heavily. Concentrate, she told herself. She grabbed the third vampire as it lunged at her and used its momentum to deflect it into the first one as it was getting up, and they both fell back onto the pile of metal with an explosive crash.
Cordy looked wildly around for a piece of wood. The vampire she had thrown into the wall was advancing on her again; one of his fangs was knocked out from the collision. Cordy might have made a quip about dental insurance plans if she hadn't been more concerned about her situation.
She kicked the vampire in the gut with all her might, grateful that she'd at least worn slight heels. It cried out in pain, and Cordy felt a short-lived rush of satisfaction before one of the other vampires grabbed her from behind around her waist and shoulders. Somewhere behind her, Cordy heard footsteps, and she actually prayed to the Powers that it wasn't more vampires-or worse. She elbowed the one that had grabbed her and shoved it away, then spun around.
"Here!" One of two figures racing through the darkness toward her tossed something and she caught it. It was a stake. For the first time in Cordelia's very long life, the PTB had actually answered a prayer. Thanks might even be in order. Later.
Cordy thrust the stake back into the heart of the other vampire behind her. The two figures were fighting the larger of the remaining two vampires, so she focused on the last one. Within seconds, both vampires fell to the ground in cascades of dust.
As the air cleared, Cordelia turned to the other two and squinted in the dusty darkness. They were tall-ish and masculine in that bulky, graceless, yet composed in strength kind of way. They stepped toward her through the settling air and Cordy saw that they were boys. Well, teenagers; they couldn't be much older than 16 or so. One was dark-haired, the other a lighter color, but in the dim light of the alley it was hard to tell much more specifically. The air cleared a bit more and when they stopped in front of her, Cordelia recognized them; she breathed a sigh of relief.
"Oh thank goodness," she said. "You two are in danger."
"Danger?" they asked in unison, glancing at each other in confusion. Granted, it wasn't a typical salutation, but Cordy always did like the direct route when she could take it.
"Yeah. But don't worry, I handle this kind of thing all the time. I'm a seasoned professional."
"Okay…" the darker-haired one said slowly. He was leaner and slightly taller than the other boy, and had a self-composure that the other one lacked-actually, that most teenage boys lacked. Cordy wondered what his deal was. "So what are we in danger from?"
"A very good question," Cordy replied. "And as soon as I know the answer, I will be sure to tell you."
"You don't know?" the sandy-haired one asked. He crossed his arms over his chest. "I thought you were a professional?"
"I am." She held out her hand and smiled. "Cordelia Chase. Nice to meet you."
The dark-haired one got over his hesitation first and took her hand. "William Cole."
Cordy nodded to him, the turned to the other, her hand still outstretched. He took it reluctantly and said, "Calder."
"Just Calder?"
"For now.
Cordy shrugged and dropped his hand, "Alright, then." She held the stake in her other hand out to William, who shook his head.
"Keep it," he said. "We've got others."
Cordelia thanked him and slipped the stake in one of the pockets of her pants. These were certainly not the kind of earth clothes she was used to, but then, quite a long time had passed since she was last there. The PTB always provided time-and-culture-appropriate clothes before she left on missions to help ease her way into new societies (when necessary, they'd even give her a temporary new body).
The pants they'd given her today were loose and comfortable. She could not identify the fabric, but it felt good. Light and flowy, but having that necessary weight to hang off the curves of her body just right. She would have to get some to bring home before she left. Her sleeveless shirt was form-fitting, though it allowed for movement nicely, and it was simply, yet tastefully decorated. She also noted with satisfaction that it was appropriately low-cut. After one too many shirts that threatened to choke her, she'd filed a complaint with the PTB on her dimension-jump wardrobe (literally filed a complaint; the amount of paperwork they made her go through was ridiculous). It took a while, but she figured that if she was going to be young and beautiful forever, she might as well flaunt it a bit. Of course, V-necks did much more for her than scoop, but she would look this gift horse in the mouth later. If only they had added a necklace…
She glanced up and realized that the boys were watching her with raised eyebrows as she inspected her clothes. She gave a smile and an awkward chuckle. Way to inspire life-saving confidence, Cordy.
"So," Calder said, "we're going to need some explanation. We might know about demons, but sometimes people really are just crazy." He flicked a short, stray lock of hair out of his eyes, which was styled in a swooshed back, that's-right-I'm-a-vampire-fighting-badass kind of way, and the lock somehow settled perfectly back into place with the motion. Cordy was definitely going to have to ask what kind of product he used.
"You got it, Champ," Cordelia nodded. "But first, and this is going to sound like a really weird question, but where and when am I?"
The boys stared at her.
"I swear, I'm not crazy. I dimension-hop, if that means anything to you. I'm not local-well, not anymore. Care to clue me in?"
"Ireland," William said. "2214."
Ireland. She thought the accent sounded a bit like Doyle's. And the 23rd century… So only two hundred years had passed since she left. Sometimes, Cordelia thought that keeping track of time was the hardest part of her job. She had long ago decided that if it weren't for the day off and few tokens of appreciation from friends on her birthday, it wouldn't be worth it anymore to measure the years.
"Okay," she said, "that definitely helps. Thanks. So I'll explain, but do you think we could go while we talk?"
"Sure…" William said uncertainly. "Go where?"
"Your place?" Cordelia shrugged, turning to grab her bag. "I'm looking for anything weird or out of place or, you know, anything that might want to kill you." Cordy wasn't usually this blunt with her mission-ees, but given their introduction, she thought they could handle it. She slung her bag over her shoulder as she rejoined the boys.
"That happens a lot," Calder said. "We patrol almost every night. We always find things that want to kill us; it's not hard."
"Yeah, but I have special magic powers that I bet you don't. Whatever it is, it's beyond what you can handle right now, or the PTB wouldn't have sent me." She started walking out of the alley, trusting that they would follow, and they did.
"The PTB?" William asked at the same time as Calder said, "Magic powers?"
"Yes and yes," Cordy answered and took a moment to gawk at the city when they emerged from the alley. Cars glided along the street in front of them in a relaxed creek-like flow. She looked up and her jaw dropped. The walkways connecting the buildings branched over them in a maze of glass and steel, and the underside of the walkways emitted a blue-ish glow to safely light the people below. It was like a strangely ethereal chrome forest. Cordy looked past the walkways to the sky and wondered if interplanetary travel was a reality yet.
"I get visions from the PTB-Powers That Be—you know who they are?" she continued, pointing questioningly to the right, down the street.
William nodded and led them to their right. "We've heard of them," he replied with a surprising note of suspicion in his voice. Cordelia glanced at him out of the corner of her eye: his light green eyes were dark with wariness. This was definitely a topic to return to later.
Cordy drew in a breath."They send me to different dimensions to help people."
Calder swung around behind William and Cordy so that he could walk on Cordy's other side, eying her for the first time with more interest than suspicion. "What kind of visions?"
Cordy gave a half shrug and said, "Lots of different kinds. They're all about people in trouble, though, so I help them."
"Shiny," William said thoughtfully.
"And your last vision was of us?" Calder asked.
"Boy howdy," Cordy replied. The boys looked at her as if she'd just spoken gobbledegook (which, incidentally, she actually could speak). "Yes," she clarified.
"What exactly about us?" Calder pressed.
Cordy half-shrugged again. "Just that you're in danger and I have to stop whatever it is from doing whatever it wants to do to you. I did get a sense, though, that it has to do with vengeance of some sort. You guys didn't seriously piss anything off recently, did you?"
"Probably," Calder said. "We kill a lot of things in this town."
Cordy nodded thoughtfully. Broad initial list of suspects. She'd dealt with worse.
"So tell us about your magic powers," Calder said.
"I'll do better than that: I'll show you," Cordy smiled.
Calder and William grinned back.
William's apartment building wasn't far away and they arrived within a few minutes. Cordelia warned them that her magic powers looked boring to an outsider, and they would just have to believe her when she said they were cool. And they were, actually, pretty cool. They were less magic powers than they were extra senses: mostly super-enhancements of her own natural-born talents of picking out the popular and the losers in a crowd.
No, really. Sensing power and weakness, seeing through masks, picking up on intentions: all crucial in deciding who was an enemy and who was a friend. When Cordelia looked at William's apartment building and the surrounding area, she could tell by the quality of the energy that the dwellings emitted where the fighting neighbors lived and where the couple who took in foster kids lived. The first one looked like a swamp: deep and murky, and her eyes couldn't focus properly on it. The second looked chaotic and sharp on the surface, but smooth and hard as stone underneath. Cordelia pointed to a set of windows on the fourth floor above them.
"That's where you live," she told William. "That window is the one to your room."
"Yeah," William said, impressed.
Cordelia glanced around. Nothing seemed particularly out of the ordinary. She checked out the alleys on either side of the building. No magical disturbances, no unusual power in the area camping out and waiting for William's return, no flashing neon sign that said Bad Guys Here. When she was sure she hadn't missed something in her overview, she went back to where the boys were standing on the sidewalk and suggested they go to wherever Calder lived and check it out.
"Actually," William said, "we've been talking, and we think we know a better way."
"Yeah," Calder agreed. "See, we know this guy who knows everything that goes on in this town. He's kind of like...king, or something, of the underworld. He'd know if there's some big evil something in town that's new."
"Er…" Cordy said, trying to decide how good of an idea it was to announce her presence as a PTB agent to the city's underworld...king? Laying low was generally a good rule of thumb, especially when she wouldn't be in town more than a day or two. Hopefully. Also: these kids were on good terms with underworld royalty? If that didn't put them on someone's blacklist, she didn't know what would.
"He's on the way to Calder's anyway," William added. He checked the time on a device that looked like a smartphone, only a bit larger and a bit thinner, then pocketed it again.
"And he's probably been to the Dragon's Crown by now, so he would have gotten the latest from Marty."
"He might still be there," Calder pointed out to his friend.
William nodded and shrugged at the same time. "We could call...but his flat's on the way to the Dragon's Crown anyway. Might as well stop in."
The other boy nodded in agreement, and Cordy found herself intrigued in spite of herself. Also, given that the kids knew this guy well enough to guess at his night's schedule, the lead should probably be checked out.
"Alright," she agreed, and followed the boys away from William's home.
As they walked, Cordy struck up conversation to gather more information. Every little bit helped. Like the fact that they were, indeed, 16, and had been training to fight vampires and demons for the last three years: not only did they have time to rack up a list of enemies, but they had motivation to start at a young age, which usually meant that there was a need. The scales were perhaps unbalanced in this town, or maybe they had emotional issues that needed catharting-which was a ripe environment for something to happen that would call for revenge. Probably a mixture of both, with William being the oddly stable one (Possible Champion material? she wondered) who replied that patrolling "has its rewards," when she asked if they enjoyed what they did. Calder, on the other hand, had replied, "Hell, yeah!" and Cordy felt fairly confident in the Catharsis Theory, as well.
She also learned that Calder had dabbled in magic once, "but not anymore," in a voice that suggested that he didn't want to talk about it. She didn't press it, but she did add it to her mental notes that he was the more likely one to get the pair into whatever trouble they were about to get into.
A natural lull fell as they passed a sweet-smelling bakery (it pleasantly surprised Cordelia that there were still independent bakeries in this age), which William broke by asking,
"So how do you get from one dimension to another?"
"I open a portal," Cordy replied.
"Is that another one of your magic powers?" Calder asked.
They suddenly turned and began ascending the front stairs to a tall building; Cordy glanced up and guessed it was at least 50 stories high. She hadn't expected Mr. Underworld-King to live...well...above-world.
"One of them," Cordy replied distractedly as she adjusted the bag on her shoulder. "So tell me about this King guy. Are we going to have to bow or something?"
The boys laughed as William held the door open for them and Calder led the way over to the lifts.
"No," William said. "He's not really King. This part of the city is his, but not in an edict-ruling sense. More in a territory, don't-hunt-here sense, I think."
"He's just old and intimidating," Calder said, pressing the call button. "So people give him whatever he wants and tell him whatever he wants."
Cordy raised an eyebrow as they stepped into the lift. "But you're not intimidated?"
"Two," William said in a clear, yet lazy tone, and the lift began to move so silently that Cordy would have thought that it hadn't moved at all if not for the slight change in pressure.
"Nah," Calder waved a hand dismissively, answering Cordy's question. "We've known him since we were kids. It's mostly a face. He's the one who taught us to fight."
"And Latin," William added, "and he made us study demonology texts."
Calder grunted, as if he were sour about this part of his upbringing. The lift doors opened, but Cordy hadn't even realized they'd stopped. William led the way down the hall that they stepped out into.
"He can be kind of grouchy," William added. "Don't take it personally."
Cordy shrugged. "Lots of old people are. I've dealt with worse than grouchy." She paused, taking in the information about Latin and demonology. "He's not a Watcher, is he? Is he British?"
"Nope," William replied, stopping them in front of number 212-the only wooden door on the entire hall, Cordelia noted-and knocking. "He was born in this city, actually."
"Hm." Cordelia was still having a hard time preparing herself for this person who was threatening old man that turned kids into monster-fighting academics. "So does he have a na-"
The door swung open and Cordy's breath stopped in her throat. William and Calder's underworld-not-king was very old, indeed. One of those should-have-been-dead-centuries-ago types—like her. But he looked just like she remembered.
She found her voice before William could make the introductions.
"Angel?"
