Author's Note: This is my first Doctor Who fic, and I haven't written fanfiction in almost a year and a half - please be gentle! Also, this is partly inspired by the song Make This Go On Forever by Snow Patrol, from the album Eyes Open which is nowhere near as good as Final Straw. But anyway.


Echoes


It was oddly quiet in the TARDIS. The Doctor leaned pensively against the console, staring at nothing. Rose was slumped against the wall in a room full of clothes. Mickey had sat beside her for a while, but he'd kept trying to hold her hand and she'd snapped at him. He'd gone off to sulk.

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Oh, they'd be perfectly chatty if I wasn't here, he thought bitterly. God only knows what they talk about. No, nothing important in front of Mickey The Idiot. Nothing interesting in front of the bloody tin dog.

He'd been Rose's shoulder to cry on when the Doctor had abandoned them on the spaceship. He'd stayed. And as usual (from the sounds of things) the Doctor had gone running off to his heroics without a second thought for either of his Companions. It was what he'd done to Rose rather than any personal slight that made Mickey really angry: it was plain to see how Rose felt about him, and it was even plainer that she felt rejected.

Echoes of how Mickey had felt for the past year - longer. Constantly waiting for Rose, prepared to take any treatment in return for the slightest bit of affection. Now she was going through the exact same thing and Mickey had no way of comforting her without annoying her.

He'd always tolerated her disappearances, the mysteries, the constant feeling of inferiority and of being completely in the dark, because she still felt something - anything - for him. Most of all, he had known that she was happier with the Doctor than she could ever be with him. That was no longer true. But she would forgive him, in a way that she'd never forgive anyone else.

It's not going to happen a second time, he thought resolutely. Rose is better than that.

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The only thing stopping Rose from crying was the fear that the Doctor would come up the stairs and find her, although in a small way she wanted to be found. She wanted to rage and scream at him and punish him for the five hours of hell he'd put her through on that ship and for the way she was feeling now. At the same time she wanted to hold him very close and make him promise never to do it again.

Most of all she wanted to know why he'd done it. What had been so captivating about Madame Du Pompadour for the Doctor to put her so far above Rose and Mickey? She'd been a right bitch when Rose had spoken to her. Rose couldn't believe that after defeating Daleks, and meeting trees, and being turned to stone, and queuing for chips behind a hyperintelligent shade of the colour blue (she'd begged the Doctor to let her look around a 22nd-century spaceport), she'd been made to feel like an ignorant child in front of an Earthbound Frenchwoman who was only known for who she'd slept with.

Worst of all, the Doctor had so clearly chosen Mme Du Pompadour over Rose. He'd rushed off to save her, even if it meant he never saw Rose again. That was what smarted. Had their time together really meant so little to him? He'd only been weith Mme Du Pompadour for a few minutes- but no. He'd said there was a faulty connection. Just how much time had passed for him on the other side of that fireplace? Rose sniffed sadly. Who knew what had gone on? She had so many questions, none of which she was sure she wanted to know the answer to.

Mickey had been fuming, once the shock had passed. Rose had shouted at him a few times to shut up, mostly because everything he was saying was true. When the Doctor finally came back she'd tried to act like it was nothing serious, as though she was just relieved. He never apologised. In fact, no sooner had he greeted Rose and Mickey than he'd rushed off back to "Reinette". First-name terms, already. He'd called out her name excitedly as he returned to that stupid, stupid fireplace; the syllables echoed round Rose's head even now.

Mickey, Mickey, poor Mickey. He'd never understand why she stayed with the Doctor. Mme Du Pompadour did. She'd hit the nail right on the head, she had. "The Doctor is worth the monsters." Even when, sometimes, he was the monster. Poor Mickey, always left in the lurch. Poor Mickey, always blaming himself for his every misfortune. He'd lost his parents, he'd lost his Gran, he had - to some extent - lost Rose, although it pained her to admit it. She knew she treated him badly. She also knew that it could never be any other way.

What about her? Her dad was gone. She couldn't hold on to Mickey for much longer. The Doctor was the one man from whom she sought solace; now she seemed to be losing him, too.

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Yet another life ruined. What else could he have done? She was Madame Du Pompadour, he would never have pegged her as the type to become infatuated with the hero of the piece - let alone one she'd only met in childhood. 'The hero', he thought derisively. As though any of it had been admirable. He'd led her on, given her hope, then let her down inexcusably. The guilt pressed on him so strongly he felt as though he was being physically crushed.

And then there was Rose. He'd brought Mickey along not because of Sarah-Jane, and not because of Mickey himself, but for Rose. Cassandra had left a few of Rose's thoughts inside his head. "You've been looking... you LIKE it..." Flattered and all though he was, he couldn't- there was no way... If Mickey was there he would serve as a distraction for Rose, just as he had in Cardiff.

Just thinking about it set the Doctor's gaze on the floor. The fact of the matter was that if Rose had developed some sort of crush on him - or at least on his tenth form, which he had to admit was a serious improvement on a lot of the earlier ones - then it was best if it passed as quickly as possible. He was not a man prone to ignoring his emotions, but some things were best left unsaid. He couldn't guarantee that they would stay that way, not if Rose seemed to feel the same way.

He'd never forgive himself for what he'd done today. Such a rash decision, so thoughtless. Okay, so he was used to thinking on his feet but not when it hurt someone. He wished he could tell himself that he'd known all along there would be a loophole. He hadn't. If Mme Du Pompadour hadn't been so desperate to reunite with her imaginary friend then Rose and Mickey would have died on that ship in the 51st century. He would never do that again. Never.

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The Doctor's reverie was broken by a footstep in the console room. He looked up sharply, ready to snap at the ubiquitous Mickey. It was Rose. His scowl softened into an expression of sympathy and apology, and he realised she was on the verge of tears. She opened her mouth a few times but seemed unable to get the words out.

The Doctor crossed the room quickly and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I'm so, so sorry."

"We thought you'd gone forever," she sobbed into his shoulder.

"I know. So did I. I'll never-"

Rose pulled back. "Don't promise you'll never do it again," she said fiercely through the tears, "because you will, you can't help it. You have to help people no matter what the cost is. It's just... what you do. I knew that when I agreed to come along with you at Christmas."

"I will never leave you behind again. I should never have done that."

"No, you shouldn't have," she agreed, settling back into his embrace. "Don't forget about me, yeah?"

"Never."

"And I know you'd never've gone if she hadn't needed you." It was at this point that Rose noticed Reinette's crumpled letter lying on the TARDIS console. "What's that?"

The Doctor groaned internally. There was nothing to say.

"My dear Doctor," Rose read aloud. The Doctor knew that voice she was using. It was bright and cheery and barely masked a seething rage. "The path has never seemed more slow and yet I fear I am nearing its end. Reason tells me that you and I are unlikely to meet again, but I think I shall not listen to Reason. I have seen the world inside your head and know that all things are possible. Hurry though, my love, for my days grow short now and I am so very weak. Godspeed, my lonely angel.
"Yep. Sounds like you made quite an impression on her.
"Tell me, Doctor, exactly how long was that party? You know, the one you were at when me and Mickey were being captured by clockwork monsters and almost having our organs harvested? A few hours? A few days? Long enough for her to start calling you her angel, anyway."

"Rose, I-"

"Take me home," she said firmly.

"Look, it's really not what you-"

"Take me home."

"You heard her," said Mickey indignantly from the doorway.

The Doctor had had enough and vented his frustration on Mickey, "Oh, stay out of it!"

"Don't talk to him like that!" snapped Rose.

Mickey seemed pleasantly surprised by her defence. "Yeah!" he said, emboldened. "You've been treating me like I'm nothing ever since we met, it's not fair-"

"Cool it, Mickey," said Rose. "Doctor?"

"What do you want me to say?" he asked simply.

"Preferably something along the lines of 'Powell Estate, 2006'," said Rose icily.

"Fine," said the Doctor. He messed about with a few instruments. "Fine! Nice knowing you! Hope you enjoyed the ride." He slapped a button on the console and the TARDIS lurched. "London, here we come."

For a brief moment as it jolted and shook, Rose found herself clutching the Doctor's hand to stay upright. She let go and would have crashed to the floor if he hadn't caught her again. He held her gaze as he did so, his meaning clear. The TARDIS stopped.

"So." Rose knew she was making a terrible mistake, but it was too late to go back now. "This is it then."

"It doesn't have to be," said the Doctor in a small voice.

"This is the way it's gotta be. I'm going back to where I'm loved."

The Doctor said nothing, turning instead to the TARDIS's central unit. He heard her go, without even a goodbye.

"Bye then, Doctor," said Mickey.

"What? Why are you going?"

Mickey raised his eyebrows and spoke as though to a child. "I care more about Rose than about gallivanting round the universe, or whatever you'd call it. Goodbye." He closed the TARDIS door.

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Rose watched in floods of tears as the TARDIS faded into thin air, barely believing what she'd done.
Mickey sighed, knowing he would never be able to fill the void the Doctor had left, but ready to try. He'd probably only make things worse.
And the Doctor himself had no idea where he was going - he only knew that he didn't particularly care what happened next. The numbness had returned, and the voices of vanished Gallifrey, of the Daleks, of forgotten Reinette and all the others, all screamed at him. This time he had no-one to turn to.
AN: So... what do you think so far? This is meant to be a two-parter but Part 1's turned out far longer than I intended... Um, for anyone who's interested, that song slots in right about here. Pleeeease R&R, if anything to discourage me from doing this sort of thing ever again. Thank you to the three people who've bothered reading this far. ;-)