Disclaimer: I don't own Angel.
For a while, I hated that man. For a while, everything about him disgusted me, because he was the ideal. He was the everything, the guy who always won, and everyone loved him no matter what horrible things he'd had to do. The end justifies the means and all that. People always thought of him as an angel, and I hated him for it.
But then I got a chance to walk in his shoes - to feel the constant hammer of grief and loss and pain on my soul - and where he stood strong, I buckled. I couldn't save my sister, I couldn't save the girl I loved, I couldn't even save myself - not that I deserved saving.
I wondered how he did it. I spent hours, just thinking about it , working it over in my mind, trying to figure out how he stood it. I thought he must have some secret - never thinks about it, pretends he's someone else, comes to terms with the demon - there has to be something. But I never could figure it out. It crippled me.
Damn, though, that guy can give a speech. He doesn't get all flowery or conciliatory - no way. He didn't offer me advice - he ordered me, to shape up or ship out. I guess that works better.
Basically, what he said was this; you've been royally screwed, you're pissed off, you've been kicked around and walked all over and stepped on - but so what? Get the hell up. Try again. Never let them win, even if you're bleeding and dying - and I guess he'd know a lot about that.
It's good advice.
