Just another day at the Palm Woods. The BTR boys were lounging on the sofa in apartment 2J, watching TV and snacking as usual. James and Carlos were sharing a barrel of cheese balls, Kendall just had a soda, and Logan was wolfing down chips like nobody's business.
"Dude," James said, looking over at Logan. "You are eating like…TONS of chips."
"Yeah so?" Logan asked.
"Shouldn't you be having apples or something? And bitching at us to eat healthier?"
"I can eat chips sometimes if I want to."
Carlos and James watched Logan as he licked the last crumbs off of his fingers and tossed the large, now empty bag of chips onto the coffee table. Then they looked at each other.
"That's a lot, even for Carlos," James said.
"Yeah, even for me!"
Kendall glanced away from the TV for a second and stared at the three boys. "What's the problem?" he asked.
"Logan is eating too many snacks!" Carlos and James cried at the same time.
"Yeah, so?" said Kendall. Logan folded his arms and nodded snobbishly at them.
"It's weird," said James.
"Yeaaaaah. Real weird. Real weird and real funny." Carlos squinted his eyes and leaned over to Logan slowly. Logan swatted his face away, wincing. "You guys are being annoying," he snapped. It was about time that he left them to watch TV, so he got to his feet and shuffled off.
"That's also weird!" James said. "Since when has he been so touchy?"
"Uh huh, uh huh!" Carlos said quickly. He stuffed a few more cheese balls into his mouth and chewed loudly. "Since when, huh?"
"Logan's always been touchy," Kendall sneered. He rolled his eyes and got up. "You're just over reacting. Stop judging."
As Kendall walked away, Carlos leaned up against James and whispered, "Something's up with Logan!"
"Yeah I know!" James whispered back.
"Investigate?"
"Oh my God you know it!"
Over the next few weeks, Carlos and James did a lot of super stealthy spying on Logan. They snuck around corners and observed what he was doing. Yes, he continued to snack a lot. And yes! He continued to be extra whiny. His nerdy tendencies seemed to be failing and he was being more emotionally driven. The amount of junk food he was consuming even made Carlos cringe somewhat.
"Dude, seriously," James said to Kendall, away from Logan's earshot. "There's something wrong with him. C'mon."
"Nu-uh!" Kendall barked. "You're full of shit. I'll prove it." He stuck his tongue out at James and ran off in search of the boy in question. He knocked on his door real quick and came inside.
"Oohhh…" Logan groaned. He lay on the bed, writhing with a pillow over his face.
"You alright, man?" Kendall asked. Maybe Carlos and James were right.
"So hungry," Logan moaned.
"What do you want?"
"I don't know. I need more food."
Kendall stepped over to the side of the bed and touched Logan's forehead. It didn't feel hot at all. "When did you last eat?" the blond asked.
"I just did."
"Huh? How much?"
"A lot. I need more. Kindaaaall, pleeeaaase!" Logan reached his hands up and tightened his fingers towards Kendall wantonly.
"There is something up with you," Kendall said reluctantly. "Anything feel weird? Give me a break here, I'm not the one interested in med school."
"Increased appetite," Logan said, trying to find reason through his swirling emotions. "Abdominal cramps, frequent diarrhea," Kendall flinched and frowned at this. Logan's face dropped all of the sudden. "Oh God," he said, looking up at Kendall. "What if I have a tapeworm?"
"Ew. Where would you get that?"
"Anywhere, really. Undercooked meat, contaminated water, improper sanitation from a food service employee."
"Think you gotta see a doctor, dude," Kendall said.
"Would be smart, yeah."
The three boys took Logan down to Doctor Hollywood on an emergency visit right away. They all went off into the exam room when called.
"What seems to be the problem, Logan?" the doctor asked, swooshing his hair to the side.
"He's eating more than Carlos!" James squealed.
"Yeah, and that's a lot!" Carlos followed up.
"Is that true?" Doctor Hollywood asked Logan calmly. Sitting on the exam table, he nodded sadly, silently.
"Anything else?"
"Abdominal cramps, frequent diarrhea," Logan explained. The three other boys cringed all at once.
"He's been a pain in the ass, too," James added. "Like an emotional rollercoaster."
"Is that true?" the doctor asked. Logan nodded again. "Alright, well I'm going to draw a little blood and see what's going on." He took out a needle, held Logan's arm and drew a sample of red. He walked into a backroom and the four boys began to chatter.
"What if it's a tapeworm?" Logan groaned. "Ohhh God. I can't deal with that."
"Can we name it?" Carlos asked. James rolled his eyes. "You can't name a tapeworm," he said. "It can't hear you or anything."
"Well we can still name it, duh."
"Guys! Shut up!" Kendall barked as usual, popping up in between them. "Logan isn't feeling well, whether it's a tapeworm or virus or whatever, and he needs us to NOT ARGUE!"
Carlos and James folded their arms and leered at each other. "We're not naming the tapeworm," James snapped real quiet, wide eyed.
"Stop it!" Kendall yelled. Logan held his tummy and groaned real loud all of the sudden. Kendall ran up to him and put his hand over his. "Are you okay? What happened?"
"It just hurts," Logan cried out. "It just hurts real badly."
"You are a little bloated," Kendall said, touching Logan's stomach. They both frowned, and then Doctor Hollywood came back.
"Seems there's nothing wrong," he said.
"What?!" All four of the boys yelled.
"How is that possible? There is really something wrong!" Kendall snapped.
"I've ran every test I could think of, boys," Hollywood said. "It's not a tapeworm, not an infection. Seems he's alright."
"That's fucking impossible," Kendall said. "He's sick. He's eating like crazy, he's moody as shit, his stomach hurts and look." He lifted Logan's shirt up. "He's bloated."
Logan didn't like this. He squirmed and tried to lower his shirt, but Kendall held it up tight. Doctor Hollywood placed his hand on it and touched lightly.
"Well?" Carlos and James asked in unison.
"Maybe just gas," the doctor concluded.
"Just gas?!" Kendall suddenly erupted. "How can you say it's JUST GAS?!"
"Kendall, yelling isn't going to help. Look; I've run the tests. There's nothing else I can say."
Kendall let go of Logan's shirt and went to walk out of the exam room, mumbling to himself, "this is bullshit."
"Funny," James said right after Kendall closed the door behind him. "He was the first to say nothing was wrong. Now he insists there is. Ha."
"I was sorta looking forward to the tapeworm," Carlos muttered.
"Don't even say that!" Logan squealed. "Just don't even say that! Are you sure there's nothing?"
"There's nothing," the doctor reassured him. "Just try to curb your appetite and maybe have a little more fiber."
Logan hopped up from the exam table all at once, but suddenly his face changed. It stretched and protracted, and without any warning he vomited on the ground.
"Sick!" Carlos yelled, smiling. James tried to avoid any contact with the throw up whatsoever.
"Hmm," the doctor contemplated. Logan looked at him pathetically. "Sorry," the boy moaned.
"Do you feel nauseous?"
"Yeah duh. I just threw up."
"Have you been feeling nauseous?"
"Maybe a little. Urrggh."
"Hmmmm. One of you two, get Kendall back in here." The doctor pointed at Carlos and James, who then had to have an air slapping contest to determine which one had to leave.
"FINE!" James yelled once he realized he was losing. He hissed at Carlos real fast and then bolted out of the exam room.
"So Logan," Doctor Hollywood said, turning back to his patient. "Increased appetite, abdominal cramps, diarrhea, nausea, bloating. There's another test I can run, as crazy as it may sound, but I think it's worth trying."
"Um, okay." He held out his arm for more blood. The doctor filled another needle-full and walked into the backroom once more. Then, James and Kendall came back. "What's wrong?" Kendall asked.
"That." James pointed at the vomit, which was still festering on the floor for all to see.
"Ugh. You brought me back for vomit?" Kendall rolled his eyes.
"He's running another test," Logan said.
"For what?"
"I dunno."
Doctor Hollywood came back with a strange look on his face. He took off his sunglasses as stared at the four of them blankly.
"Well?" Kendall asked, opening his eyes real wide and frowning like he does.
"Not sure how to tell you this," the doctor said. He looked over at Logan.
"What?" Logan asked, terrified that his prognosis was bad.
"Well, you're, uh," Doctor Hollywood swallowed hard and even winced a bit. "You're pregnant."
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" all four of the boys gasped at the same time.
"How is that even possible?" Logan asked.
"I don't know, but you are. That's the problem and it explains it all."
"Ohh God," Logan groaned. He put his hands on his stomach and shuddered. "There's a baby inside me."
"What I want to know," the doctor continued. "Who is the father?"
"Oh well that's obvious," Kendall said. He smiled real big. But then he and Carlos and the same time said, "Me."
"What?" they said in unison as well, glaring at each other now.
"The father is me!" they both said again.
"No it's not!" Carlos yelled. "I'm the daddy!"
"You're full of shit! I've been porking Logan like every week!"
"Yeah but it only takes one time, and we had sex like five times!"
Kendall glared at Carlos. And then he looked at Logan. "What the fuck," he said. "So who is the father?"
Logan retracted as if he expected Kendall to start beating him. "I uh, I don't know."
"Are you serious?" Kendall asked. "You've been…you have! You've been fucking me and Carlos."
"Well…" Logan's eyes turned to James's direction as well.
"James too!?" Kendall yelled.
"Hey hey hey!" James protested, raising his hands in front of himself. "Don't look at me. James D always puts his D in a con…d…"
"I don't believe it, Logan," Kendall said. "I thought we were, you know. I thought we had something." Kendall shook his head, now red in the face, and stormed out of the exam room.
"Wait!" Logan called out, but it was useless. Doctor Hollywood was chuckling to himself. "What?" Logan hissed.
"I didn't expect this sorta behavior from you, Logan."
