On the road to Wickham
On a nice warm late summer evening the outlaws were on their way to returning a horse and cart to Wickham. They had borrowed them some days before to take the tax money they had stolen from the sheriff to Croxden Abbey.
Now they were on their way back with the empty cart.
John and Will lay stretched out in the back of the cart, Tuck and Nasir sat on the cart sill letting their legs dangle and Marion, Robin and Much were squeezed together on the box.
Marion held the reins. Robin sat on her left, his arm around her waist, dreaming with half-closed eyes. Much sat on Marion's other side, chatting idly.
Suddenly a man broke out of the bushes that covered the side of the road, grabbing for the reins. Other men followed him until there were about half a dozen ragged-looking men standing in front of the cart.
Marion fought to regain control of the frightened horse.
Robin's eyes snapped open, his hand already on Albion's hilt. Much felt for the quarterstaff that lay behind him. Nasir jumped up, drawing his two curved blades from their scabbards. Tuck tightened his grip around his own quarterstaff, turning his head.
Little John and Will Scarlet sat up, turning around.
„Hah? Wha's the matter?" Scarlet asked drowsily. He had been dozing.
„I think these gentlemen intend to rob us, Will," said Robin, fighting to keep a grin from his face.
„You're damn right. Hand over all your money!" the leader of the street robbers, a man with long, dirty, unkempt dark hair, a moth-eaten beard and ragged clothes, ordered.
Roaring laughter from the cart was all he got.
„Stop laughing! Robbing is serious business!" the robbers' leader cried with an undertone of uncertainty in his voice. His buddies looked at each other unsettled. These victims behaved all un-victimlike.
Robin cleared his throat, trying to suppress another fit of laughter.
„Right," he said, „sorry. Let's start again. You say: 'Stop! Give us all your money', and we say..."
He looked at his companions.
Tuck screamed from the back of the cart in a high-pitched voice: „Oh! Help! Cruel cutthroats! Save us, sweet saints!"
Again Robin and his friends couldn't help themselves. Screaming with laughter they sank back on their seats.
The robbers' leader put down his sword, putting his fists to his hips.
„You're making fun of us, aren't you?"
„Well, he ain't half as dumb as he looks," Scarlet grinned.
„Will! That poor man can't do anything about his looks!" said Marion.
„Will you shut up!" the robber demanded, close to tears.
„Perhaps we should show them how to do it right," Much laughed.
Little John stood and jumped over the cart's side. When he straightened to his full size of almost seven feet, the attackers glanced nervously at him.
John strode forward.
„Look, friend," he said jovially, „we don't take you seriously anyway. So, why don't we forget about it. You go home, we go on and everybody's fine. We'd only have to hurt you otherwise."
„Don't give him any silly ideas, John," Will demanded from the cart, „we haven't had a good fight in ages!"
Marion looked doubtfully at the men in front of the cart.
„They don't look like they could give us a good fight."
Faced with an ignorance like this the attackers' leader actually stomped his foot.
„I demand that you behave like victims should, or we'll teach you a lesson!" he threatened at the end of his wits.
„Robin, they don't seem to want to end it," Much said rather sheepishly. How somebody could actually seek a fight with men like Little John or Nasir willingly was beyond him.
Robin sighed, more annoyed than angry. „I'll ask you one last time: Will you let us pass?"
„No!"
„Well," Robin said, sliding off the cart, „then let's get on with it."
Marion stayed comfortably on the box.
„I think you can do without me helping you," she said smiling.
„Shut up, slut," the robbers' leader screamed hysterically.
All of a sudden the outlaws' attitude changed. Where there had been amusement only seconds before there was now tense alertness. The men wouldn't stand somebody insulting Marion in their presence.
„At last," Scarlet murmured, stood and jumped from the cart.
Howling wildly the robbers' leader stormed forward, swinging his rusty, jagged sword. His men followed half-heartedly with their homemade clubs and sticks.
Soon they were in a bustle well worth seeing. The outlaws were trying to teach their adversaries a lesson without killing them.
Scarlet had grabbed one of the robbers by the scruff of his neck, smashing his fist into the robber's face over and over again. He seemed happier and more relaxed than he had in days.
Nasir had disarmed his adversary in an instant. When the man tried to attack a second time in spite of having lost his weapon, a well-placed kick got him in the groin. The attacker fell to the ground gasping.
Little John had made it even quicker. When a man had come for him, brandishing a club, he had somehow met with John's outstretched fist…
Tuck swept his attacker's feet from under him with a quarterstaff. When his adversary kissed the dust as planned, Tuck sat on him.
Robin easily avoided a blow by the robbers' leader. When their swords met, he twisted his wrist so that his opponent's sword flew out of his grasp. The robber surrendered.
Much played cat and mouse with another man. Each time the robber clumsily tried to grab the boy, Much would dive out of the way.
One after the other, the outlaws who had gotten rid of their opponents gathered round the cart, relaxing, commenting on Much's fight.
Finally Scarlet said, „Stop playing around, Much, and finish it!"
„Well, you could help me if I take too long for you," repeated Much, but he, too, had enough of this fight. When the man attacked the next time Much didn't step aside but ducked. His attacker tripped over the boy, hitting the ground hard. Before he could react, Much sat on his chest, pointing a dagger at his throat.
Little John stepped forward, patting Much on the back. „Well fought, lad." Much grinned proudly.
Robin put his arm around the robbers' leader's shoulders.
"I'd have a bit of advice or two for you, if you insist on staying in the robbing business," he said with a grin.
"Perhaps they should try something else, bad as they are at robbing," said Tuck.
Robin ignored him.
"First: think twice about who you want to rob. Second: only use weapons you are good with."
John added, "And third: never try to rob Robin Hood!"
Grinning and joking, the outlaws watched the robbers leave, the ones who were still able to walk helping the ones who weren't.
Then Robin and his friends headed on towards Wickham once more. With a little bit of luck Allison would welcome them with fresh ale.
