PAN- write about rejection

ABS prompts: Insult, Mushroom, Aluminum

Crack!fic, Evil!Trolley lady, Weird!fic


Ron was having a bad day. The worst day. It was all because Fred and George had given him the worst Bertie Bott's bean flavors ever! Booger, mushroom, vomit, you name it! How did they know which was which? And then they were insulting his expressions. And he couldn't find the trolley lady to get some good candy. At least he would be home for Christmas soon. Ron walked through the train ignoring the voices in his brain narrating his day.

"I wish they would shut up!" Ron said through gritted teeth. It just wasn't his day because the voice couldn't stop. Or she wouldn't. Not until five hundred words. And she only had one hundred.

"Oh my god," Ron muttered. "Where is that lady, with the cart-" and aluminum teeth?

"The trolley lady has aluminum teeth?" Ron asked his brain.

Oh. That lady with the cart. Going father and father up the train, Ron came to the conductor's compartment. She was there.

"Um, hello? I-"

"Oh, deary," The trolley lady said in a sugary voice. "Would you like to come sell candy with me? I'll give you free candy!" Ron said yes right away. He couldn't resist free candy. "Come darling."

Ron hopped onto the cart (while wishing his brain would get to five hundred words already and shut up but she only has about two hundred) and the went on there way.


His terror came at the end of the train. Christmas decorations were hanging everywhere. Including mistletoe. The trolley lady was leaning over him, going to eat him...

"Ah!" Ron screamed. That dream was the worst one he ever had. And that's including the one where Fred made him a cake out of crushed spiders. He tried to shift over but the was a problem. The was someone lying next to him. He looked and... it was a naked trolley lady.

"So nice for you to invite me, dear." She said.

"Aaaah!" Ron screamed before it went dark.


Ron woke up to someone on his lips.

"Uh..." He moaned. "Hermione you rascal... ahhh." Ron opened his eyes more to-

"AAAAAAAAH!" He pulled away and rolled off his bed. The trolley lady was still there. Wouldn't it ever stop? He wanted her to get away, for him to run. But his legs wouldn't work. Or maybe he didn't want them to...


Ron succumbed to her. She was amazing, a surprisingly good kisser. He loved good kissers. And when he fell asleep with her he wouln't have bad dreams about her, just good ones.


The boy was a fool. He gave in easily. And now... he was gone, vanished, never to see his family again. He was her's. The trolley lady opened her mouth wide and gave a laugh-

"Mwahahaha-" She hacked and coughed then continued. "Ha!"

The end?