/AN: Okay so this is my first two shot... and my first 100 fanfic. I have been completely distraught by theSpacewalker episode. If you haven't seen it yet, leave this page because this fanfic is one big spoiler. You have been warned.

NOTE: Before any flamers, vultures, or drama starters start in, I would like to say this: This fanfic is STRICTLY Flarke, and in this moment Bellamy and Clarke are just two friends attempting to find comfort in each other in a COMPLETELY platonic way. Please don't make it out to be more than it is. I respect the Bellarke shippers and their ship, even if I don't agree with it. Please do the same for the Flarke shippers. :) If you don't like it you don't have to read it. :P

Disclaimer: I don't own The 100. If I did, Finn would not be dead./

Clarke's POV

Clarke didn't remember walking back to camp. She didn't remember hearing Raven's lament from almost two football fields away. She didn't remember collapsing into Bellamy's arms when she reentered the compound. All she saw, all she heard was Finn. Her mind was filled with the dirty white boy that she had come to love. Begging for the grounders to take her instead, telling Finn she loved him back, killing Finn in the most merciful way possible.

"Thanks, princess," that's what he'd said to her, right before he died.

It all kept replaying, over and over and over in an endless, relentless loop. Clarke couldn't see or hear anything else.

"Thanks, princess," she wanted it to stop, she needed it to stop. Tears leaked from Clarke's eyes in a never ending flow of physical sorrow, but she made no move to wipe them away.

Slowly, she started to regain awareness. Everything was moving in slow motion, as if she was moving at the speed of light.

"Clarke? Can you hear me?" Light was being shined into Clarke's eyes, that much she knew, although she couldn't see the person behind the flash. It sounded like her mom. She wanted to respond in someway, let her mom know that she was okay. That she could hear her. She decided to try her voice out.

"Finn…" No. No that was wrong. Was that her voice? It sounded so weak… she had meant to call out for her mom.

Suddenly, lights, sounds, movement all became a very real tidal wave that crashed into her without reserve. All at once Clarke could see and hear everything around her. She felt light headed.

"Oh god, did she just…?" Octavia's hands covered her mouth in shock.

"I don't think she realizes what's going on, Octavia." Bellamy reasoned from his spot to Clarke's right.

"I think she's in shock… Clarke if you can hear me, I need you to blink once for yes." Abby was in front of her, trying to initiate eye contact.

Clarke blinked once. She didn't trust her voice anymore.

Someone was crying hysterically. Clarke looked around for the sound in a hazy daze. She quickly found Raven in a heap on the floor, sobbing.

That's when it hit her. The memories collided with her waking mind and vertigo took over. Whatever contents were in her stomach previously, ended up on the floor where Bellamy once stood.

"Thanks, princess,"

"No… No, no, no, no, no…" Tears filled Clarke's eyes again as she caught Abby's gaze. "Finn, he's… I… oh, mom!" The full realization of what she had done was hitting her full force. The truth of Finn's death shook Clarke to her core until she couldn't hold it in anymore.

Abby's arms were around Clarke in an instant, holding her in a firm embrace. "I know sweetie. I know…"

Clarke didn't know how long she had spent crying Finn's name into her mother's shoulder, but by the time she had gone quiet, Raven had cried herself to sleep, the bile on the floor from earlier had been cleaned up, and the only people left in the room other than herself was Abby, Bellamy, and a passed out Raven.

Third Person POV

The next few days that passed were uneventful. Finn hadn't had a funeral, or a burial or anything. There were no services held for him. The grounders had disposed of his body in the fire pit that had been meant to torture him. They had argued that he had, had a merciful death, therefore they were in charge of what happened to his body. No one argued with them. Clarke had been in shock, Raven was prostrate with grief, and Bellamy was busy comforting the both of them and following Abby's orders. Anyone else who could've fought for Finn's body, didn't.

Additionally, the camp held nothing in Finn's remembrance. There was no wake, no moment of silence, nothing to recognize that he had been there. That he was just as much a part of the Ark survivors as the rest of them. The camp was happy enough to forget that Finn had existed. To them he was the Spacewalker. To them he was the kid who spent three months of the Ark's oxygen for a good time. But to Clarke, Raven, and Bellamy… Finn had been so much more.

Finn had been their friend, their peace keeper, the gravity that kept them grounded. Finn had shown Bellamy a better way of leading and a better way to handle things. For Raven, Finn was the only family that she had left and without him, she had become a shell of herself. To Clarke, Finn was her friend, her lover and her light. He had been the one to show her that there was more to the ground than meets the eye. He had been the one that had shown her there was an element of fun to be had in every situation, and Clarke missed him with every fiber of her being.

"We can hold our own memorial," Bellamy suggested.

The trio sat in a triangular fashion around a campfire. They hadn't been allowed to join in on the first Grounder/Camp meeting, on the orders of remaining council members. They were children in mourning and they were going to be treated as such. Bellamy knew differently. They had tried to help a war criminal escape execution; had let their feelings of friendship get in the way of rational thinking and were no longer allowed to be in the loop. And that pissed Bellamy off more than anything.

The hundred had been handling things fairly well with the cards they had been dealt, at least right up until the last few weeks. They knew the ground better, the people better, they could help settle this war with Mount Weather. And yet he and what was left of his friends were being forced to sit around and wallow in their misery. It was going to drive Bellamy mad. He needed to do something and soon.

"We could go off into the woods, find a clearing or something and say a few words. Just something to give us some closure." He poked at the fire, unsure of himself.

"I don't need closure." Raven said, her eyes a dull brown compared to what they once had been. "I just need to forget."

Clarke shook her head. "I don't want to forget him. That's not what Finn would've wanted and that's not how we keep his memory alive." She didn't want to forget the man that had turned her view on life completely upside down.

"How would you know what Finn would want, Clarke? You've only known him a few weeks. Don't pretend like you were anything more than a fling to him. I was his family. Not you," Raven's voice trembled. If it was with rage or sorrow, Clarke couldn't tell, but if she had to take a guess it was a little bit of both.

"Raven, that's enough." Bellamy told her firmly. "If there was anything that Finn taught us it was that we don't solve issues by fighting amongst ourselves." Raven fell silent. She knew that what Bellamy said was true. "Now we can go into those woods and remember Finn in a way that serves him well, or we can continue to sit here and simmer in our self pity."

"How, Bellamy? There are guards at the gate. We couldn't leave even if we wanted to." Clarke said.

Bellamy's eyes hardened. In his near constant and disorganized thought process, he'd forgotten about the unwavering guard. He thought for a moment.

Octavia's voice cut into Bellamy's silent contemplation. "I can get you guys out for an hour or so." The trio's eyes turned to her. "Murphy is on guard at the gate. He owes me a favor. I can distract the second guard and Murphy will cut power to the gate temporarily so you can get out."

"That's all fine and dandy, but how do we get back in?" Raven asked, sitting down again.

"Murphy has an extra talkie he can loan you until you get back. Just radio him when you're ready and I'll put down a section of fence on the other side of camp."

Bellamy mulled the thought over in his head. "Sounds like a solid plan. How soon can you make it happen?"

"Give me a few minutes to set everything up. I'll get you guys out of here in no time."

Raven turned on Octavia. "Just why the hell are you helping us anyway? I didn't see you helping Finn fight for his life."

Octavia glared back at Raven. "Finn was my friend too, Reyes. I'm just trying to help." Raven's eyes watered again and she returned to her seat. Octavia turned back to Bellamy. "If you three want to escape for a bit tonight, be at the front gates at dusk." Octavia turned and left without saying anything else.

Clarke sighed. This wasn't getting any easier.


At dusk, Clarke, Bellamy, and Raven walked along the outskirts of the fence. They were eager to get away from camp, away from the tyranny of the new Ark establishment.

Clarke spotted Murphy walking towards them, glancing over his shoulder every few steps. "Man, what kind of world is it where people have to sneak out of camp just to grieve properly?" he said quietly when he reached them.

"This one, apparently." Bellamy replied.

"This section of fence will be off for an hour. You have until then to get back. I won't be able to do this again any time soon. So get it all out of your system while you can." Murphy looked between the three of them. "Just do me a favor and don't get caught. My ass is on the line too."

"We'll do what we can, Murphy." Clarke said as she slid herself through the dead wires.

Bellamy followed suit. "We'll be back before then," he assured him.

Raven looked at Murphy and hesitated. Making a split second decision, she quickly kissed his cheek. "Thank you." Raven followed Clarke and Bellamy through the wires and into the cover of the woods.

Murphy stared in shock at Raven's retreating back. He quickly recovered and scoffed. "Okay, then."


It was dark now, and the forest was alive in fluorescent hues of blue and green.

Finn would love this, Clarke thought to herself. She, Raven and Bellamy stood in a triangular circle in a small clearing that they had found close to camp.

"How are we supposed to do this?" Raven asked.

"I'm… not sure," Bellamy responded. He fidgeted uncomfortably.

None of them had ever really been to a funeral. When someone died on the ark, close family and friends would gather around and their dead loved ones would be put inside an airlock chamber and floated. Afterward, they would gather at someone's home and spend time together.

"We aren't on the Ark anymore. We're on the ground. The same rules and traditions that worked up there don't work down here. And Finn deserves better than the same old crap anyway. Finn's death deserves justice." Clarke pulled a small flask from her back pocket.

"Where did you get that?" Raven asked, staring at the object in Clarke's hands.

"I've had it for a while. I forgot about it until now," Clarke replied, softly. Finn had found it once while looking through the bunker. She decided that she would use it to remember him.

Bellamy reached for the flask. "May I?" Clarke handed him the metal container. Bellamy held the cold material in his hands for a moment, unsure of what he was going to do with it. And then all at once words started pouring from his mouth like a waterfall.

"You know, I hated you at first. I thought you were pompous and arrogant and I hated how you walked around like you owned the place," Bellamy thought out loud. His eyes were downcast towards his feet. "I wish I could remember when I started to think of you as an equal. As my friend. I wish there was something I could've done to save you. I wish there was something I could've done to stop what happened…"

Bellamy took a deep shuddering breath before continuing. "I can't help but feel responsible for the events of that day at the village. I knew you weren't in your right mind and I sent you off on your own anyway, with only Murphy to keep you in line. Sometimes I think if I had gone instead that I could've stopped it. Like maybe I could've gotten you out of there before anything too serious happened. There were so many things I wish I could've done differently that day. I'm sorry Finn…"

A lone tear escaped and rolled down Bellamy's cheek. Quickly, he raised the flask towards the sky before bringing it back down and taking a shot.

Raven was crying softly off to the side.

Clarke wiped her eyes and placed a comforting hand on Bellamy's arm. "It wasn't your fault, Bells. You can't blame yourself for what happened…"

"Then who do I blame, Clarke? Because I sure as hell can't blame Finn." Bellamy replied, taking another shot from the flask.

Clarke looked between Bellamy and Raven, unsure of what to say. Finally, she spoke up. "I don't think there's anyone to blame for what happened. It was a crappy situation and it was handled even worse. What happened to Finn…" Clarke choked a bit on Finn's name. She took a deep breath and tried again. "What happened to Finn, could've happened to any of us."

Bellamy nodded, and bowed his head in an attempt to hide his face as he silently wept.

Raven wiped the tears from her face and reached for the flask. Bellamy handed it to her without a word. Raven suppressed a cry as she prepared to speak. "I miss you so much, Finn… You were my best and oldest friend. I still can't believe you're gone…" Her body was wracked with silent sobs. "And I am trying so hard to forgive Clarke for doing what she did. I have to keep telling myself that it was an act of mercy. That if it wasn't for her that you would've suffered so much more."

Clarke was sobbing now, Raven's words reminding her the she was the one who took Finn's life in the end. Clarke still had nightmares about that night. She wanted so badly to forget those images in her head… and then suddenly she was being crushed into Bellamy's chest. The thoughts of Finn that plagued her mind screeched to a halt if only for the moment. Raven's words were drowned out by the roaring in Clarke's ears.

Clarke's breathing calmed, though tears still ran unchecked down her cheeks. Her arms were around Bellamy in a tight hug as they listened to Raven finish.

"I wish more than anything that I could bring you back to me. To us. But I hope that wherever you ended up, that you're happy and that you're at peace." By the time Raven was done, her tears had run dry. She lifted the flask to the sky, mirroring Bellamy's previous actions and drank deeply from the container.

Clarke pulled away from Bellamy. "Thank you," she said. She didn't know why he had clung to her so, but she was glad that he did. It had allowed her to once again find her bearings in the sea of sorrow and guilt that she had been feeling.

Clarke walked two feet to Raven and wrapped her arms around the girl. "I'm so sorry, Raven." she said.

Raven clutched onto Clarke and replied, "It wasn't your fault Clarke. You did all you could." Raven was crying into Clarke's shoulder. "You did all you could and in the end you did right by him. Finn would've suffered and died a slow and painful death. He died quickly and as painlessly as possible. And he died knowing he was loved. That's all any of us could've ever wanted."

I forgive you, is what Raven had wanted to say. But pride caught the words in her throat so she tried to add her feelings of forgiveness to her words instead.

Clarke seemed to understand because she nodded against Raven's shoulder. "Thank you," the words came out no more than a whisper but Raven heard them loud and clear.

"I loved him too," Clarke breathed. She hadn't meant to say it. The words escaped her mouth before she had a chance to catch them.

"I know, Clarke." Raven pulled away and wiped the tears away from her face before handing the nearly empty flask to Clarke.

Clarke stared at the object in her hand for a moment. She didn't know what to say. She knew that she missed Finn. And the guilt that she felt for killing him was overwhelming. All at once her thoughts seemed to find a single starting point and she knew where to begin her part of the makeshift wake.

"Ending Finn's life was the easiest and the hardest decision that I have ever had to make. When I walked up to Lexa, I had every intention of keeping my promise to you, Raven. If she wouldn't bargain, I'd kill her.

And then I got there. I looked around at all of the grounders that surrounded me, all of the grounders that surrounded Finn… I thought of all of the people back at camp and all of our people still at Mount Weather and I knew there was no way that I would get Finn and myself out of there alive. I knew there was no way that we would be able to rescue our people without that truce. And if I killed Lexa and lost our lives in the process… we would lose everything to the people inside that mountain." Clarke took a shuddering breath as the words flew from her mouth. This was the first time that she had told someone what happened in the valley that night.

"Still, I tried to bargain with Lexa. I tried to get her to take me instead. I had killed so many more of her people than Finn had. Surely, I thought that I was worth more." Tears streamed down her face. "Lexa refused. I tried to tell her that it was my fault that Finn had killed her people. That he had been looking for me. Again, she held her ground. "Then he shall die for you", she had said. That's when I knew that there was no winning this.

I knew if I didn't do something that they were going to torture Finn while we all watched. And as I imagined his screams in my head, I couldn't do it. I'd never survive if they were the ones to kill him." Clarke sobbed as the images of her conversation with Lexa danced painfully through her mind.

"I asked her if I could say goodbye… and thankfully she granted me that. As I walked toward where they had Finn tied to a stake, all I could think of was what I was going to do. I think when he saw me coming he knew what I was there for. I followed my first instinct and kissed him, as a distraction I guess. And I told him I loved him…"

Bellamy rubbed Clarke's back as she tried to stymie the flow of tears. "He told me that he was scared, so I told him that he was going to be okay. I pulled him into a hug and I used the blade the Raven gave me to pierce his aortic artery…"

"Thanks, princess."

The words still stung more than any blade ever could. "Finn used his last words to tell me thank you," she saved the princess part. No one else had to know about that. Those words had been for her and her alone.

"You thanked me, Finn… So I have to believe that I made the right choice. That ending your life before the grounders got to you was what you wanted. I'm praying that it is what you wanted…" Clarke raised the flask towards the sky as her companions did previously before her, and finished the rest of the alcohol in the metal container.

The minutes passed, and the trio sat in silent remembrance. In her heart, Clarke truly believed that this is how Finn would've wanted to be remembered.

Bellamy checked his watch. "I wish we could stay out here longer… I don't want to go back to camp, but we're running out of time… How do we end this?"

Raven spoke up first. "The Ark's final send off. It's tradition, and it's what Finn would have wanted."

Bellamy nodded in agreement.

"He would want you to say it, Raven."

Raven held a slightly shocked expression over her features. She was sure that Clarke would've wanted the opportunity. "Are you sure?"

"You were his family first," Clarke responded. "Finn would want it to be you."

"Okay…" Raven took a deep breath and a few moments to recall the wake's sign off. "In peace may you leave this shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground. May we meet again."

"May we meet again," Bellamy and Clarke echoed.

The trio began the short trek back to Camp Jaha.

/AN: So I kinda want to kick myself in the ass right now. Somehow I ended up writing some very, very miniscule Bellarke fluff... Just for the record, I completely despise this ship and I'm about 99.9% sure that it's the secret reason that Finn is dead. But, I digress. In any case, I'll have part two up very soon. :) Keep on keeping on.

-Kit/