Dean's thoughts before he breaks into Sam's apartment in Season 1

Breaking and Entering, also known as B and E, was something Dean Winchester was used to. What he wasn't used to was breaking in to his little brother's apartment.

It shouldn't be this way, ran through his head, but it is. Why couldn't Dad have let Sammy go to college? Why couldn't Sammy just stayed with us? More importantly why didn't I stop this from happening? Why didn't I stop my family from breaking apart? Mom wouldn't have wanted this.

Dean didn't know whether his dad or Sam were at fault for their family falling apart, but he did know that he, Dean Winchester, could have done more to prevent that. If he had he wouldn't be picking the lock on his brother's apartment building in the middle of the night to ask him for help.

Click, the lock was open and Dean was able to walk inside the darkened hallway of Sam's apartment. There was a staircase made of elegant wood, nothing he ever saw in the cheap motels he stayed in. He climbed the staircase, his heart beginning to beat a little faster at the realization that he would see Sammy after not speaking for two years. What would they say to each other? Would the younger Winchester even listen to what he had to say? Or would he refuse to have anything to do with Dean?

He suddenly wanted a beer. Alcohol always helped him loosen up. Working on a hard job? A sip of beer helped him man up. Talking to a pretty girl at a bar? Beer to the rescue. Facing his angry father? Two beers in that scenario; one for him and the other to calm down his dad.

Dean found the apartment that Sammy lived in. He began to pick the lock again, but it was a little harder because the hallway had no lighting. Outside, the building had a porch light, here, nothing. He thanked God, if there was a God, for the lack of light because it meant it would take more time and he wasn't quite sure on what to say to someone who has refused to talk to him, who blamed him for everything bad in his life.

Click, the lock was open.