In the terrible city of Gotham
Criminal acts were rife
There was a man named the Joker
And this is about his life:
-:-
When the Joker was a kid
He never knew what he did
To deserve such a flogging
From his dad who would be shouting:
-:-
Why are you such a dumb brat?
Your brain is puerile like a cat's
You bad little child
Running around wild
And waving that lighter about
-:-
You inherited your mother's brains
And use them for your ill-gotten gains
-:-
Your mom's brains are pathetic
And so are you
I owe you a nice big kick
All the way to Timbuktu!
-:-
But of course the father was drunk
And never knew what he said
Didn't realise or care all his gunk
Reverberated round little Jack's head
-:-
One day the mean dad crossed the line
So the mom got out the knife
She was actually extremely kind
But the household had endured too much strife
-:-
Stay away, you bastard she screamed
Or your face will really be creamed
By this big wicked chopper
That even the coppers
Would see and run crying back home
-:-
The father stared for a few moments
Then threw back his head and laughed
That chopper's only worth two cents he said,
And ooh, now I feel so threatened!
-:-
A repulsive sight he was, that evil git
His hair was dirty and matted
Nasty man that he is, he strode up and hit
His wife right across the face
-:-
He then snatched the chopper from her
And proceeded to give her some surgery
Cried she 'stop it you mangy cur'
But he paid no heed to her shrieks
-:-
When he was finally done, he stepped back
To admire his awful handiwork
There were cuts, slashes and hacks
And in her eyes there was no spark
-:-
The mother was already dead
So he turned to the small boy instead
He placed the knife into Jack's mouth
And proceeded to make him howl
-:-
Why so serious Jack, he taunted
Don't you like the feeling?
Of having your mouth enlarged
And the blood all splattering
-:-
It's a beautiful feeling isn't it?
No harm in cutting a pit
Right in your face
It's not a disgrace
To society as you would think
-:-
The little boy whimpered in pain
But his pleading was done in vain
For the father continued to slice
Cut, and slash and dice
-:-
When this dirty job was done
The father and the son
Were both covered in crimson blood
And hatred started to bud
-:-
Little Jack felt animosity
To the asshole who was his father
He reckoned he didn't look pretty
It was really hideous, rather
-:-
So when the father said, 'Smile!'
Little Jack complied
He spat out a bit of bile
And used his father's face as a guide
-:-
Smile, he thought, smile he said
Smile he wished, smile he gave
Smile he did, smile plastered
As he snatched up the knife
And killed the old bastard
A/N: I thought that the Joker's past was rather intriguing. Please review :)
