In the terrible city of Gotham

Criminal acts were rife

There was a man named the Joker

And this is about his life:

-:-

When the Joker was a kid

He never knew what he did

To deserve such a flogging

From his dad who would be shouting:

-:-

Why are you such a dumb brat?

Your brain is puerile like a cat's

You bad little child

Running around wild

And waving that lighter about

-:-

You inherited your mother's brains

And use them for your ill-gotten gains

-:-

Your mom's brains are pathetic

And so are you

I owe you a nice big kick

All the way to Timbuktu!

-:-

But of course the father was drunk

And never knew what he said

Didn't realise or care all his gunk

Reverberated round little Jack's head

-:-

One day the mean dad crossed the line

So the mom got out the knife

She was actually extremely kind

But the household had endured too much strife

-:-

Stay away, you bastard she screamed

Or your face will really be creamed

By this big wicked chopper

That even the coppers

Would see and run crying back home

-:-

The father stared for a few moments

Then threw back his head and laughed

That chopper's only worth two cents he said,

And ooh, now I feel so threatened!

-:-

A repulsive sight he was, that evil git

His hair was dirty and matted

Nasty man that he is, he strode up and hit

His wife right across the face

-:-

He then snatched the chopper from her

And proceeded to give her some surgery

Cried she 'stop it you mangy cur'

But he paid no heed to her shrieks

-:-

When he was finally done, he stepped back

To admire his awful handiwork

There were cuts, slashes and hacks

And in her eyes there was no spark

-:-

The mother was already dead

So he turned to the small boy instead

He placed the knife into Jack's mouth

And proceeded to make him howl

-:-

Why so serious Jack, he taunted

Don't you like the feeling?

Of having your mouth enlarged

And the blood all splattering

-:-

It's a beautiful feeling isn't it?

No harm in cutting a pit

Right in your face

It's not a disgrace

To society as you would think

-:-

The little boy whimpered in pain

But his pleading was done in vain

For the father continued to slice

Cut, and slash and dice

-:-

When this dirty job was done

The father and the son

Were both covered in crimson blood

And hatred started to bud

-:-

Little Jack felt animosity

To the asshole who was his father

He reckoned he didn't look pretty

It was really hideous, rather

-:-

So when the father said, 'Smile!'

Little Jack complied

He spat out a bit of bile

And used his father's face as a guide

-:-

Smile, he thought, smile he said

Smile he wished, smile he gave

Smile he did, smile plastered

As he snatched up the knife

And killed the old bastard


A/N: I thought that the Joker's past was rather intriguing. Please review :)