I'm still here
I tried focusing my eyes through the tears threatening to fall as I looked at the worn out pictures in my hands. The reason they were worn out was because every night I take them out.
Every night I stare at the fading green eyes. Every waking moment is spent thinking about him. And every sleeping second is spent dreaming about the love he showed me.
I remember my first year at school, that summer that he stayed at our house. How I tried catching his eye and when he eventually looked up and smiled at me, I blew it by blushing crimson and turning away.
But that doesn't count.
That was just a crush, now I know we had a history full of love, happiness and surprises. My luck just run out when he had to leave to look for the cursed horcruxes.
You took Ron with you, that was understandable, you took Hermione with, also understandable.
These were your best friends, but what about your girlfriend?
Instead of giving me hope for the future, instead of telling me it will be okay, that as long as we have each other it will be okay, instead of speaking to me in that beautiful poetic way that made me smile, you left me, and turned your back on me.
But I do not hate you for it. I do not hate you for leaving me to feel like this. I love you for being the hero. For being my hero and thinking about me, thinking about protecting me, even from you.
You said to me 'Even though we are no longer, I still think about you, and about all the love we had for each other.' Then you sort of smiled sadly and left me curled up in front of the fire in the common room.
Your last letter hurt me however. What do you mean by it? Don't you love me any more? Or do you not trust me to love you through these times?
You said 'it looks like the search is taking much longer. Don't wait for me. Move on with your life.' How can you think such a thought?
It might be days before you come back from your search, weeks, months, years, I'll still wait for you. I'm still here.
I remember our first 'date'. Well it was more like a kiss in the common room after Quidditch, then a couple of turns around the lake. I didn't expect you to like me, after all of those years of me running after you then giving up. I must say I was surprised, and then when you pulled away gently, I looked at you for an explanation, but you were busy looking around the shocked common room for Ron, scared of his reaction, I'll bet.
But what I want to say is that I am still here for, now matter how long your search will take, no matter what will happen to you in process, no matter if you forget about me, I'm still here
