CHAPTER 1

Thank christ that's over John Cena thought to himself as he walked backstage. He loved his job and loved entertaining thousands of fans night after night but right now his thoughts and concerns were on the young woman who was currently waiting for him in his locker room .Today had been a rough day all round for both of them but deep down and if he was honest with himself John knew it was always going to be .

.As he walked towards his locker room his mind wandered back to 12 months ago .he was out injured recovery from recent surgery to his neck in an injury he had sustained at summer slam against his good mate the animal Dave Batista .While out recouperating he was fortunate enough to be asked to travel to Australia and co host the kids nickelodeon choice awards an oppurtunity he had jumped at for a few reasons .One hed always loved traveling to Australia the few times he'd been there .when he'd filmed his first movie The Marine he spent 6 months and he'd loved every minute of it .He'd also get the chance through one of his charity organisations the make a wish foundation to grant one wish for a sick child something he loved doing every chance he got .But maybe the best reason of all to travel to Australia was that he'd get to spend some time with his best friend Donna and her 2 kids Felix and Grace something he always looked forward to even though the chances to see them were few and far between .

John then remembered back to the morning of his flight to Australia .November 10th 2008 a date that will live forever in his mind .He was due to fly out at 2pm his brother Matt picking him up at 12.30pm from his house and taking him to the airport .John had had his bags packed and ready to go by midday and was killing time till matt picked him up .He'd decided to check his emails something he tried doing every few days .Once he'd turned his laptop on and connected to the internet he had signed into his email account .Once he was signed in he clicked on his inbox and looked down the many emails he'd received until he came across an email from Donna dated the 8th November 2008 .He instantly opened Donnas email and had began to read .

John I know I should've rang you and told you this in person but every time I picked up the phone to dial your number I just couldn't bring myself to go through with it .Theres no easy way to tell you bub and I really wish I didn't have to but the kids are gone .I still can't believe it myself the funeral arrangements haven't been made yet but when they do I'll let you know .Im sorry bub I really should've rang you and if you hate me for doing it this way I'll understand I just don't know what to do I'm so lost .I just wish they were still here .Have a safe trip .I love ya bub .Donna xxx

John remembered back with tears in his eyes hed read Donna's email through a few times making sure he'd read it right before printing a copy off and folding the piece of paper and putting it in his back pocket .He'd then in a daze turned his computer off and had waited for Matt to arrive .Donna and her 2 babies not far from his thoughts .He had so many questions wizzing through his head but all he wanted to do was get to Australia and hold his best friend in his arms .John couldn't even begin to imagine what Donna was going through and all he could think of was being by her side .He remembered back to how Matt had picked him up right on 12.30pm and driving him to the airport John barely saying a word .Hed said his goodbyes to Matt and thanked him for driving him to the airport .John remembered how after hed said his goodbyes to matt hed gone over and checked in for his long flight ahead .the flight to australia was a blur for john. He remembered that just before hed bordered hed tried to ringing donna without any luck so hed sent her a text telling her hed see her soon. He remembered landing in Sydney Australia then having to catch a connecting flight to Donnas home town of Brisbane .Taking a deep breath and trying to control his emotions he then remembered how hed arrived at Donnas pub in a small Brisbane town and how hed found a close friend of hers Bernard manning the premises. Hed asked Bernard what had happened and Bernard had told him john finding it hard to believe what he had been told still not believing it now 12 months later .Bernard had told John how Donnas partner at the time Jon a close friend and band mate of Bernards had decided to take Donnas 8 year old twins Felix and Grace out for the day to a local fun park .On the way there they were involved in a horrific car accident a truck pulling onto the highway they were travelling on and pushing the car into another truck the second truck cleaning there car up with Jon being thrown from the car with Donnas kids being trapped in the back .Onlookers had rushed to the car to try and get Donnas kids out but without any luck there fragile bodies had been crushed neither one standing a chance due to the impact of the make matters worse whilst paramedics and rescue crews had been trying to get Felix and Graces lifeless bodies out of the wreckage there was petrol leaking everywhere and the rescue efforts had to be stopped in fear of any of the equipment they were using could cause the car to explode into flames .With all emergency servicemen parimedics and rescue crews now at a safe distance and with the amount of petrol that had spilled the car had suddenly burst into flames still with Donnas kids inside .Jon had been found several metres from the car unconscous and had been taken to the local hospital and was expected to make a full recovery .

Once Bernard had told John what had happened John remembered how he had asked Bernard where Donna was and how she was doing .Bernard had told John she was a mess not wanting to talk to anyone and only coming out of her room to get more alcohol Bernard had told John the only things Donna had been doing since the accident were drinking .She hadnt gone to the hospital to see Jon she couldn't bring herself to do it .When John had finished hearing Bernard out he remembered how hed asked Bernard where Donnas room was making his way in the direction Bernard had told him grabbing a bottle bourbon from behind the bar and 2 shot glasses before he went .When John had walked into Donnas room the entire top floor of the pub hed found her laying on the lounge in front of the tv .The tv still on with Donna fast asleep empty bottles of beer surrounding her all on the floor .John remembered how hed quietly without waking Donna had sat his suitcase down and picked up the empty bottles off the floor and had put them in the garbage bin in the small kitchen .Hed then walked into the bedroom and pulled the blankets back on the bed and walking back into the lounge area had gently bent down and picking Donna up had carried her to the bedroom without Donna stiring and put her down onto the bed pulling the blankets up over her .John then remembered how tired he had been from all the traveling he had done just to get to Donna how hed stripped out of his clothes and wearing only his briefs had gone back out into the lounge area and picking up the bottle of bourbon and 2 shot glasses had walked over to the lounge and had sat down sitting the bottle and 2 shot glasses down on the table in front of him .John remembered how hed picked up the bottle of bourbon and filled one of the shot glasses before emtying the contents .Hed done this 3 more times before standing up and going back into the bedroom and to Donna where he pulled the blankets back and had slid in beside her snuggling up to her back and holding her before hed closed his eyes and fell asleep.

John then remembered about the week he had spent with Donna only leaving her side to co host the awards and grant the wish .It had been a rough week for both of them but John was grateful he could be there for Donna when she had needed him .There had been the private funeral service John holding Donna the entire time while her partner Jon had been granted realise from the hospital to attend but Donna not wanting anything to do with him. The fight Donna and Jon had had over Donnas treatment of him after the accident blaming him for everything that had happened and Donna up and leaving with John to Melbourne to spend time with him while he was in Australia .The hardest part for john had been saying goodbye to Donna he didn't want to leave her and had tried to convince her to come back to the states with him but Donna had told him she just couldn't .

Now as John reached the door to his locker room he wiped the tears that had formed in his eyes away not wanting Donna to see him upset .Taking a few deep breathes he opened the door and walked inside .Once inside John looked around and couldn't find Donna anywhere . He then walked over to his locker where he found a piece of paper folded in half with his name on it .He knew it was from Donna he recognised her writing straight away .Picking up the paper he opened it out and began to read ."Bub gone back to the hotel see you there donna xxxx" folding the note in half then in half again John pushed it into his back pocket before walking over to his bag grabbing a shirt and putting it on .His shower could wait til he got back to the hotel .He wanted to get to Donna and make sure she was alright .Shed been really quiet all day today barely saying a word to anyone .John had been by her side all day apart from the short period of time he had just spent in the ring no longer than 20 minutes. The longer the day had wore on the more worried he had become worried Donna just wasn't herself .he knew today being the 12 month anniversary of the death of Felix and Grace was going to be hard on Donna .Hed expected it to be a day of tears but so far there had been nothing which had him worried .With his shirt now on he zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder putting his phone in his pocket and doing a quick check of the locker room to make sure he had everything before walking out of the locker room and to his rental .

He walked out of his locker room and had just reached his rental as he heard a voice call out to him .he turned around to see Ted Dibiase calling out .He unlocked the back door and threw his bag inside closing the door and waited for Ted to reach him "hey birthday boy "he said to ted as he reached the rental "whats up man "he asked Ted now as the young man stood next to him .Letting himself catch his breath before he spoke. Ted looked at john "have you seen Cody or Randy I'm supposed to be going back to the hotel with them and I cant find them anywhere" he asked John his breathing now calm. John looked at Ted with a huge grin on his face he hadnt seen Cody or Randy but he did not 10 minutes ago had received a txt from Randy saying that theyd left the birthday boy at the arena and theyd see him back at the hotel .Theyd both been playing tricks and practical jokes on Ted all day and this was just the latest ."Nar man i havent seen em "patting Ted on the shoulder and in a hurry to get to Donna he continued "I did get a txt from randy though bout 10 minutes ago" and trying hard not to laugh "there gone back to the hotel man jump in ill give ya lift back "John told Ted looking at him and waiting for the reaction he knew would come .Walking around to the passenger side of the rental Ted looked at John "thanks man just wait til I get my hands on those assholes "Ted said opening the back door and throwing his bag inside. Both men then closed the back doors of the rental and climbed in the front .

Once both men were both in and buckled John looked at Ted "so birthday boy any plans tonight "he asked Ted as he started the car .Ted looked over at John "I was thinking a few quiet ones tonight then get hammered after raw tommorow night thatll give me a few days to recover seeing as though we don't have another house show til thursday "Ted told John with a grin on his face .Chuckling at Teds response John glanced in Teds direction "I love how you think man "before turning his eyes back to the road and drove out of the arena .The drive back to the hotel lasted 20 minutes with John and Ted sitting in relative silence with John driving deep in thought thinking of Donna and Ted watching out the window feeling weary looking forward to a few quiet beers before turning in for the night and having a decent sleep .10 minutes from the hotel ted looked over at John and seeing him deep in thought "are you ok man "he asked John .Hearing Teds question John let out a deep sigh he didn't realise hed been holding .Taking his eyes briefly off the road and looking over at Ted "yeah man im good just got a bit on my mind that's all "turning back to look at the road once more .Ted then spoke again "I know how that feels man if ya wanna talk im here "he told John .John looked at ted briefly again "thanks man appreciate it "John told Ted before returning his focus to the road once more .The rest of the drive was done in silence .After there conversation Ted had let his eyes drift closed and had relaxed his head back against the seat .He didn't realise john had driven to the hotel carpark and had just turned the car engine off until John had reached over and shook him waking him from his brief slumber.

After waking Ted from his brief slumber both men opened there car doors and got out closing the doors behind them .As both men opened the back doors to get there bags out john heard footsteps and laughter coming towards them reaching in he got his bag out and looked around to see Cody and Randy walking towards them both finding it difficult to control there laughter. Ted had grabbed his bag and shut the door swinging his bag over his shoulder and was walking around to the other side of the car to John when he looked up and saw Cody and Randy walking towards them laughing uncontrollably .looking at both men then back at John Ted said "thanks for the ride back man if ya wanna talk you know where to find me "before turning to Cody and Randy" you 2 are jack asses" shaking his head and walking towards the entrance to the hotel not giving Cody or Randy the chance to reply. Watching Ted walk away "yeah but you love us Teddy "Randy yelled out as Ted continued to walk to the hotel entrance not ackowledging what Randy had just said .Now closing the passenger door and swinging his bag over his shoulder John looked at Cody and Randy standing in front of him "Teddys right u 2 really are jackasses the amount of shit you've both pulled on him today" John told Cody and Randy before starting to walk torwards the hotels entrance .Hearing Johns words Cody and Randy looked at each other before bursting into another fit of laughter as they followed John to the hotels entrance .