A/N: I wrote this story while listening to "Starting Over Again" by Reba, so that's where the title came from XD And the quote Severus says at the end is by Charles Schulz. (The only reason this is rated R is because of the language in some parts.)

And All The King's Horses...

The first thing Harry did the moment the war ended was call one of the school's house elves to ask for a jar of peanut butter. He acquired numerous strange looks for that, considering he hadn't even made it off the bloodstained battle field yet. But since he was standing over You-Know-Who's dead corpse, who was going to deny him anything?

Even when Harry carried the jar to Ron's grave, who had died bravely in the midst of the fighting, and smeared peanut butter across the top of it, no one said anything. He'll have his reasons, Kingsley said. It's just his way of coping, Bill shrugged. Peanut butter is good for the soul! Tonks added brightly.

But as days turned to weeks, turned to months, and everyone began moving on with their lives, Harry continued to keep a jar of peanut butter in the cabinet. And in the staff room. And beside the couch. And next to the bed. And under a loose floorboard in the library.

In fact, what everyone had initially put down as a creative way to cope with loss, was now becoming an odd part of Harry's every day life.

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Snape was at a loss as to where this new obsession had come from, and more so yet, what to do about it.

The first time Harry brought peanut butter to bed, it had been a new and exciting experience. Who knew the sticky, sweet substance could be so erotic?

The second time, Severus recalled fond memories from the previous encounter and gladly welcomed a refresher.

The third time, however, he wondered if maybe this was taking things just a bit too far.

When questioned about his strange fixation, Harry merely shrugged his shoulders and answered "I just like it."

Well Severus happened to like his shiny new best-selling Potions book, but that didn't mean he wanted to bring it to bed every night, cover Harry with the pages and then lick them off of him.

Okay... so maybe the peanut butter wasn't quite as revolting as that. But still, his mind insisted, enough was enough. It was time to seek out a second opinion.

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Midway through a discussion of the latest experimental potion featured in Potions Weekly, Severus found himself asking Hermione, who had become the Transfiguration teacher after Minerva accepted the Headmistress post, if there was anything wrong with his lover.

"Wrong?" Hermione frowned.

"Well," Severus hesitated, "perhaps wrong isn't the word for it. Simply... unusual?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes in thought. "No, he seems the same to me. Why?"

Severus was reluctant to tell her anything, especially since it would probably sound as though he was overreacting. It was only peanut butter after all. But...

After deliberating a moment more, Severus began to tell her about Harry's new addiction, starting from the ending of the war, to walking around with it shrunk in his pocket, to using it every time they had sex.

Hermione's eyes widened as he spoke, and he was surprised to see tears glistening in them.

"Miss Granger, are you—"

"I'm sure it's nothing to be concerned about, Snape. Harry is probably just trying to adjust."

Adjust to what? Severus wanted to ask, but the young witch had already hurried out the door without so much as a goodbye.

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Weeks passed slowly, and Severus was still no closer to understanding than before. He could feel frustration starting to sink in, but he refused to be followed around by a damned jar of peanut butter for the rest of his life. Giving up was not an option.

Of course, perhaps it was slightly optimistic of him to say for the rest of his life. Technically, the peanut butter was Harry's burden, so if they ever broke up Severus would be free.

But he didn't want to be free, not really.

Yes, he was concerned. Yes, he wished Harry would put the jar down every once in a while. Yes, he wanted to go back to the days where it was only Harry and Severus, not Harry and Severus and the mysterious jar of peanut butter in the corner watching their every move.

But if it came down to it, he could push all of that aside, as long as Harry loved him. Which was really all that mattered.

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Severus had all but conceded defeat when, out of the blue, the answer was presented to him in the form of Ginny Weasley. For a moment all he could do was stand there stunned, watching her walk across the school grounds with a container of peanut butter that looked exactly like Harry's tucked under her arm.

Was there a fucking club of peanut butter fanatics or something?

Fang's loud barks of greeting to the youngest Weasley snapped him out of his shock, and he swiftly strode over to her.

"Miss Weasley."

Ginny looked up at him surprised. He couldn't blame her; talking to one of Harry's friends without the green-eyed man there to play mediator was something he simply did not do if he could help it.

"Um... hi Professor."

"I suppose you've heard that Hagrid's finally cleaned out that filthy infestation of Bundimun and have come to harvest the secretions?"

The blasted girl was now looking at him like he'd grown an extra head, or offered to her his undying love. Well, really now, what sort of small talk could you expect from him?

"Uhm, no... actually, I'm here to leave this on Ron's grave." She gestured toward the jar in her hand.

Severus almost cried out in exasperation. Even the dead needed their daily fix of junk food now??

Seeing his sceptical look, Ginny hastened to add, "It was his favorite. Before he... you know."

And just like that, a light bulb went off inside Severus's head. It was his favorite.

The brooding Potions Master spun around and headed back to the school, leaving a bewildered red head in his wake.

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All of the pieces had slid into place, and Severus was sure he understood what was going on now, but he still wanted to check one last thing.

He knocked on the door to Hermione's quarters twice, then waited patiently for her to answer.

After a few seconds the door opened, and the bushy-haired woman appeared, looking politely puzzled.

"Snape?"

"Miss Granger, I was wondering if perhaps I might have a word with you. Inside."

Still looking confused, Hermione moved out of the way, allowing him entrance. She watched uncertainly as Severus stood in the middle of the sitting room and carefully examined her quarters.

"What're you..."

"Shh," he hushed her.

At last, he spotted it. There, sitting inconspicuously on the mantle, was a jar of peanut butter. One that might have been a sister to Harry's and Ginny's. It was his favorite.

"I see now," Severus said quietly.

Hermione's eyes followed his. When he glanced over at her, her skin was a deathly pale. Oh yes, he understood. Without another word, he left.

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Harry was curled up on the sofa waiting for him when he eventually returned to their rooms somewhere around midnight.

"Where've you been?"

Severus didn't answer.

"Severus? Are you alright?"

A soundless battle was taking place in Severus's mind. Was now the time for this conversation?

His eyes on Harry, he considered. Finally, he shook his head. It was too late, maybe in the morning.

"Severus?"

Harry was showing visible signs of agitation now. Severus almost smiled at the sight. Almost.

"Hello love," he murmured, before bringing his lips down to meet Harry's.

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"I refuse to allow you to bring your dead lover to our bed," Severus snarled as Harry reached for the peanut butter. Immediately, his young companion froze.

"What're you talking about?" Harry asked.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Potter."

Although Severus had chosen earlier to put this off until the next morning, he realized it couldn't wait that long. Things had been progressing well after that kiss in their sitting room, leading them straight back to the bedroom without further conversation. But as soon as their clothes were off Harry did what he'd done so many times before.

Grabbed. That. Goddamn. Peanut. Butter.

"Tell me, Potter, who do you think about when we have sex: me, or Ronald Weasley?"

Harry's complexion went ghastly white. "Y-you. Of course you."

"Really? Then why is it every time we're in bed you want to involve the peanut butter?"

Fuck, he was talking about it like it was their pet dog or something. Perhaps it was. Perhaps they would have to go to couple's counseling, and Severus could tell all about how the peanut butter was coming between them.

Perhaps they wouldn't even make it that far. Perhaps everything was going to end tonight, with the bloody jar of peanut butter sitting on the bedside table watching oh-so-innocently.

"It's just peanut butter, Severus!"

"Like hell it is!" Severus shouted at him.

Tears were welling in Harry's eyes, threatening to spill over, but Severus wasn't sure if that was an effect of him yelling, or the conversation.

"Harry," he began again, in a considerably softer tone, "I spoke with Miss Weasley this afternoon. I know why you clutch that jar to you so dearly."

The green-eyed retreated within himself, drawing his knees up to his chest. A slight tremble ran through his body.

"Talk to me Harry," Severus said gently.

Not daring to raise his eyes to the Potion Master's, Harry began speaking to the bedding.

"I loved him," Harry whispered. "The way I should have been loving you all this time."

Severus shut his eyes to hide his pain, but the man wasn't done.

"I never told him." A small, bitter laugh. "How could I? He was straight, it would only have made things awkward. And then... well, and then there was you. And I thought that if I could just immerse myself enough in all things you, then it'd be okay. I could stop pining after him. I could move on with my life, especially after he and Hermione got together."

He glanced up, but Severus's face was completely closed off and Harry couldn't tell how he was taking this. He looked back down at the bed and continued.

"But it didn't work. All I knew how to do was love him. Like... like that song. You can lead a heart to love but you can't make it fall? That's exactly how it went. Every moment we were together, all I could see was him. Then he got killed in the war. And... I still see him. Even when we have sex, I can almost imagine it's him."

With each word Harry spoke, the fissure stretching across Severus's heart cracked open a little more, creating smaller cuts that shot off in every direction.

"Did you ever love me?" he asked quietly. The guilty silence that greeted him spoke the answer louder than words ever could.

And with that, the heart of one Severus Snape, Potions Master, Order of Merlin, First Class, shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.

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There were no more words left to say. Severus got off the bed, walked to the door, and held it open.

Harry's eyes widened, in shock, in ineffable sadness, he didn't know. But there was understanding written on his face and he didn't ask what was happening or why.

He dressed silently, and before he walked out the door, and out of Severus's life, he paused.

"I'm sorry," he whispered sorrowfully in Severus's ear.

Then one last kiss and he was gone.

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Severus sat alone in his rooms, staring quietly into the fire. A small jar of peanut butter rested on the table beside him, lidless.

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love," he whispered, raising the spoon to his lips.

End Part One.