Bella sat on the driftwood tree, staring out into the ocean. She had a decision to make, probably the hardest ever, yet one she must make nonetheless. She couldn't keep hurting him like this. It wasn't right. And though she still loved Edward more than life, he didn't love her. He never would. Which had made her life not worth living. Yet Jacob, Jacob made it bearable. He was the sun in her otherwise lightless life. She cared about him deeply. Couldn't she at least try to give him what he wanted, even if it wasn't what she wanted? Wait. That wasn't it. She imagined his warm arms around her, the feeling of safety permeating every fiber of her being. Didn't she want that? She imagined his kisses , so full of love and devotion. Didn't she need that? Most of all, she imagined spending the rest of her life enjoying those arms and those kisses. Wasn't that what she really truly wanted? Could she be happy with that sort of life? The more she thought about it, the more she thought that maybe, just maybe, she could. She would. She would ask him.
"Bella?" a familiar voice said, shaking her shoulder and breaking her thoughts.
"Oh hi Jacob." She said, instantly happier. "I didn't see you there."
"Or hear me, obviously." He teased as he sat down next to her. "What were you thinking about so hard that you didn't hear me call your name 5 times?"
She looked at him, and it was as if she was seeing him for the first time. She had always known he was muscular, yet had never really looked at the shape of his chest and arms. Not like this. Nor had she noticed how deep the dark brown pools in his eyes went. She felt she could see into his soul as he looked at her expectantly, waiting for an answer. She sighed and played with her hands. "To be honest... I was thinking about… us."
He looked confused and slightly wary. "What about us?"
"Jake…" she began, and then sighed. How do you tell your best friend that you think you're falling for them? "I don't think Ill ever stop loving Edward-" she winced "-But I think… I think I could fall in love with you." She smiled sadly. "Do you think you could love me, even if I still love him?"
Jacob looked stunned. Finally he said, in a voice thick with emotion, "Bella, I already love you. I've loved you since you got here and that'll never change." He moved closer. "Are you saying you want to be my girlfriend?
She nodded. It was now or never. "Jacob?"
"Yes?"
"Would you-" she slid over until she was right next to him. "Would you kiss me?"
He gently cupped her face with his strong hands. Slowly, their breath mingling as he leaned in, he placed his lips on hers in a kiss that was tender and soft, hesitant and careful. He leaned back to see her reaction, but she merely pulled him back in. Their next kiss was more sure, more passionate. She felt a heat rise up in her that she was sure had nothing to do with Jacob's body temperature. Flames sprung from her lips, burning their way into her brain. The longer they kissed, the more enflamed she became, and she found that her hands were in his hair, pulling him closer, just like she used to while kissing Edward. Yet unlike Edward, who always pushed her away when she became too passionate, Jacob matched her, passion for unbearable passion, touch for intimate touch, and kiss for intensifying kiss. Eventually though, even she had to admit that she badly needed air. They wrenched apart, both gasping for breath.
He smiled breathlessly at her, a joyous grin that reminded her of happier times before either of them knew about werewolves. "That was… wow. Bella, I don't even know what to say."
Bella smiled. "You could say, 'I love you Bella.'" She teased.
Her favorite smile swept across his face. "I love you Bella. More than life. I'm so happy I could sing."
Bella pretended to grimace. "Please don't. I don't think my ears could take that." She held her ears and moaned to emphasize the agony shed be under if he sang.
Jacob rolled his eyes. "Please. I'm not that bad, I sing in front of Billy all the time and its only caused part of his hearing loss.
They both cracked up and Jacob slid off the log, pulling her down on top of him. As the laughter stilled, she realized that she was sitting on Jacobs lap, his arms tight around her, the movement of their laughter doing strange things to her. She also realized that her face was mere centimeters from his, so close she could feel his breath on her face, and he was staring at her like a blind man might stare at the sun when first he receives his sight. She felt the familiar warmth in her cheeks and she looked down. He chuckled, drawing his thumb over her cheeks before lifting her chin with his finger and kissing her sweetly. In this kiss, she could feel his overwhelming joy at her decision. When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers and whispered "Thank-you. This is the greatest gift you could give me. I promise you this- I will do everything in my power to make sure you are happy, I will try my best to do right by you in everything I do, and I will love you with every beat of my heart until I die." A tear slid down her cheek and onto his chest. "Are you crying? Bella, what's wrong?" Jacob asked worriedly.
She smiled through her tears. "No ones ever said anything like that to me before. Not even Ed- him." She placed a hand on his cheek, marveling at the warmth of his skin. "How could I have settled for less than this?" she muttered to herself.
There was a deep rumbling in his chest. "That bloodsucker never told you how special you are?" he asked. When she nodded slowly, he crushed her to his chest. "You are the most beautiful creature I could imagine. I've loved you since we were kids. And here you are, in my arms, loving me. You make me so happy. Every little thing you do makes me fall more in love with you. Just when I think I've felt the most powerful feeling out there, you come along and knock me upside down all over again. Your kind, compassionate, stubborn almost to a fault; you're brave, you're strong, you're smart, and oh, how beautiful you are. Your hair, your eyes, your skin- everything about you is gorgeous, head to toe. I love you more than my life."
Just as he finished his sentence, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a searing kiss that made his eyes roll back in his head. She hoped, prayed that through this kiss she could tell him how she felt, knowing shed never get the right words. Suddenly, she felt herself lifted up, though the kiss was never broken, and carried across the beach to the truck. The door opened and he set her on the seat, breaking the kiss for a split second as he got in and closed the door. Once inside, they became a tangle of limbs, as the kiss resumed. It continued for an infinite amount of time, before Jacob, while trying to maneuver closer to Bella, hit the horn, which nearly scared her to death. They cooled down, then sat in the truck, Bella's head on his chest, his hands playing with her hair. Soon, their breath was even and they had settled into a comfortable silence.
She slowly became aware that Jake was singing softly. She listened entranced, as his voice formed a beautiful melody in a complex language that she did not understand. "What are you saying?"
He looked down in surprise, apparently he had been unaware she was listening. "Just a song in Quileute we sing at bonfires. I never used to like it"
She looked at him. He seemed to feel unnecessarily guilty. "What's it about?"
He sighed. "Well, its about imprinting."
"How does it go?"
He ran a hand through his hair looking like he wished he hadn't sung. She looked down. Maybe it was a pack thing. "If I'm not allowed to know, that's ok."
"No, it's not that." He assured her. "It's just, well, don't get upset ok?" She nodded and he took a deep breath. "In English, it says, 'What has happened to me? My home, my family, my brothers, my life- no longer mine. Only hers. All I am is hers. And she is mine. Love is my food, my drink, my roof when it rains. My love is all I have, all I need. Forever we will be together and none can take her from my grasp. As a wolf with its mate, so shall she be to me. My one, my all."
"That's beautiful" Her smile became a frown "Why didn't you like it before?"
He grimaced, seemingly debating whether to tell the truth. "I couldn't believe imprinting could be that great. My imprinting had only caused me pain."
She gasped. "You've already imprinted? Who? When?"
He smiled grimly. "You. The day you came and we argued on the beach about whether I was a killer."
"All this time… you never told me. I never knew. I would have- I could have-" she rambled.
"Would have what? You'd have run to the hills, that's what you'd have done. If I had told you I had imprinted on you while you were still broken, you'd have pushed me away; well, you still pushed me away, but it would have been much worse. I couldn't let that happen. Not while I still had a chance at you." He tried to mask the look of agony that flashed across his face, yet it lingered in his eyes.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say, except that I love you now, and I always will. From now on, you'll always be the love of my life." she took a deep breath. She needed to tell him. Needed to make him see that she was dedicated to him completely. "In January, I was broken. and you came along, and you picked up all the pieces of me, and put me back together like only you could. But when you fixed me, I wasn't the same..." suddenly she remembered something she'd learned in art class. "In Italy, there are artists that take pieces of broken glass, and melt them together and they create beautiful works of art that are worth far more than the objects the glass shards came from. That's what you've done to me. For the first time in my life, I feel beautiful, so beautiful. I feel safe. I feel like I don't have to become anyone for you, don't have to pretend. I know I was meant for you. And I promise I will stay true to you. You have every bit of my broken heart, because it was your's all along. You have always been the one for me, I just couldn't see it until now. I hope you'll forgive me for making you wait all this time, but I promise to do everything I can to make it up to you."
Jacob looked like he was going to answer when a howl came from outside the truck. He shot up, hitting his head on the roof of the car. "Dammit!" he shouted. "Stupid meeting." He rubbed his arm on the window to clear up the fog. "Dammit, its 5:00 already. Baby, I gotta go to this meeting." he looked at her apologetically, and she knew he would have stayed in the car all night if he could have."
"Come back by my house when it's over. I'll leave the window open." she offered. He grinned her grin and opened the door, letting the cold air in. with one more kiss; he took off, running into the trees.
