Bakura woke up with a pounding in his head and a chip on his shoulder. Just like most days, really. Except for one little detail. It was the first Tuesday of the month. And he was very late for his monthly job.
Oh fuck...
He got up and dressed as quickly as possible in clothes that he knew were not clean.
Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Fuck.
There was none in the pot.
Oh, fuck it. There is no time!
He had to meet Marik in ten minutes. Caffeine would just have to wait. He grabbed his long black coat off the hanger and headed out into the extremely cold weather. The kind that could tun your fingers blue in about two seconds.
I fucking hate my life...
He walked the three and a half blocks to Marik's house, silently. He didn't have a music player or anything of that nature. Nothing to drown out his thoughts. These days were always the worst.
Why the fuck don't I have a vehicle?
Marik was standing right outside his house, looking more calm than usual.
Fucking Ritalin and empty threats.
That's what made him act this way.
I never would have fucking known.
Bakura stares up at Marik, expectantly. Marik slightly raises his eyebrows, but does not say anything. Both of them know what's coming.
What is this motherfucker waiting for?
Marik might have sensed Bakura's impatience or something, because he steps off the porch and starts walking in a general direction. Both of them fall into a casual place.
It's not like we're in a fucking hurry.
Indeed.
Ugh. I can almost see the fucking place from here.
They walk for another 5 blocks or so. Every once in a while Marik turns his face to Bakura, a pained look in his eye. Bakura just shrugs his shoulders and grits his teeth.
He acts like I don't know what he is going through. It's just too bad that I'm an unsympathetic bastard, isn't it? Fuck.
He could see the puny-ass pharaoh now. Oh, how he wanted to just grab his starfish-shaped skull and crush it with his bare hands.
I can practically hear the fucker's screams.
Bakura looks down to find his hands clenching and unclenching. Marik raises his eyebrows. Bakura puts his hands in his pockets.
It's times like these that make me wish this show wasn't fucking PG.
After Bakura's little 'hand' incident, him and Marik walk the last few steps before they come face to face with the pharaoh.
Fuck, he is one ugly son of a bitch.
The pharaoh has an easy smile on his face. The kind that makes Bakura want to do bad things. Evil things.
You have no fucking idea.
All of a sudden, Bakura is ripped away from his fantasy (where he is killing the pharaoh slowly and painfully) by the bloody douche-canoe, himself.
How fucking rude.
"Bakura, Marik." says the pharaoh as he nods his head.
Fuck! Does he not know how to say the word 'and'?
Marik and Bakura both falter, before responding simultaneously. "Good morning, my pharaoh."
We both sound like fucking pussies.
The pharaoh speaks again. "Today you both will be accompanying me to the Petting Zoo. Whenever I touch a bunny, I get a funny feeling in my rumbly-tummy. Therefore, we shall make haste. Let us go to the Petting Zoo." Bakura winced.
Bloody hell! This is fucking ridiculous.
Both Marik and Bakura glanced at each other and then said, "Yes, my pharaoh." Did I mention that they said it at the same exact time?
It takes a lot of fucking practice, but somehow we manage it.
The pharaoh randomly nodded a couple of more times and then they set off for the Petting Zoo, Bakura and Marik always a few steps behind the pharaoh.
And the day has only just begun...fuck!
Yeah, I feel kinda bad about writing this. I'm going to get shunned. :(
Marik is the Yami one. Just thought i would throw that out there. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.
Seriously though, this isn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings or anything. It's just a good funny ha ha parody. And a crappy one at that. Please don't like flame me or anything. Nice reviews or constructive reviews are welcome, though.
