Chapter 1
I keep looking at him while he takes care of me. Gently cleaning the cut on my head.
'Felt that', I whisper as I wince when he cleans the cut with anticeptic whipes. He murmers a quiet sorry.
'All better', he says softly when he's done.
'Yeah', I say back.
''Those walls may keep out pain but may also keep out love'', I hear Mary Margaret's voice in my head. I watch Graham as he cleans up the first aid kit. When he's done he turns around.
'What?' He asks. I can't find the words to answer him so I decide to put my heart on the line. Ever so slowly I walk towards him. Never breaking eye contact. I smile at him and look at his lips before I look at his eyes again. I stand on my toes and lean in to kiss him. It's been so long since I've felt like this. Insecure. Vonurable. Scared. For the first time in a long time I'm putting my heart on the line.
I'm glad to see him leaning in aswell. Finally our lips touch. And it feels amazing. We keep pressing our lips together for a few moments before I feel him starting to deepen the kiss. His toungue touches my lips and I happily grant him access. We keep on kissing until he suddenly pulls back with a gasp.
'Graham!' I call for him but he seems unresponsive. I keep calling him and finally, after countless attemps, he looks at me. The look in his eyes scares me. His pupils are dialated, tears glister in his eyes.
'Are you okay?' I ask.
'I remember', he murmers.
'Graham?' I say again. He looks at me again.
'I remember', he says again.
'You remember what?' I asks confused. He doesn't answer but comes closer and brings his hands up to cup my cheeks.
'Thank you', he whispers and a tear falls from his eye. It's a touching sight and momentarily I forget the haunted look in his eyes that was there moments earlier. I smile at his words. He leans in again and kisses me. More urgently this time. His toungue and hands make me feel tingly all over. Our tongues keep dancing around each other, our hands explore each others bodies. When I'm desperate for air I pull back. It doesn't stop him. He moves his lips across my cheek towards my neck. When he finds a particulair pleasurable spot he start to suck on it genty. Enough to make me crazy but not hard enough to leave a mark. It's only when I feel his tears dripping on my shoulder that I pull him back gently.
'Hey', I whisper, 'you okay?' He nods and wipes his eyes.
'Thanks to you I am now', he says. I cup his cheeks and wipe the remnants of his tears away.
'What happened? What do you remember?' I ask. He looks down.
'My life', he whispers, 'I don't know how to explain it now.' When his eyes meet mine all I see is sincerity.
'Okay. It's okay', I tell him. He smiles and gathers me in his arms. I'm overwhelmed by the safe feeling. He sighs against my shoulder and I feel a tremor go through his body. 'You can tell me when you're ready, okay?' I try to reasure him. He nods. I hold him just a little closer. Not that it's possible but I try. As he buries his head further against my shoulder, I turn my head so my nose is against his chest. We keep holding each other until he is ready to let go.
'You okay?' I ask again.
'I am', he answers. This time he actually looks a little better.
'Good'. I kiss him quickly on the lips.
'I'm ready to go home. After the last few days... I'm exhausted', he says.
'I can imagine', Graham still looks pale and shaky and I feel uncomfortable leaving him alone. 'Graham?'
'Yeah?'
'Come home with me', I look away when I say it. He doesn't answer me and I'm beginning to think I already ruined something that hasn't even begun. That is until he lifts my chin with his finger.
'Why do you ask?'
'Because... Mary Margaret was worried about you earlier', I lie.
'And...', he smirks. I try to hold mine in but eventually I lose the starring contest.
'Okay, fine. Maybe I was a little worried, too. And maybe I still am', I admit with a smile. I sigh. 'I don't want to leave you alone, okay.' He chuckles and kisses me on my forehead.
'That's good because I don't want to be alone.'
'Good. Then let's go', I say.
I drive us back to Mary Margaret's appartment because Graham is obviously in no condition to drive. In the time it takes us to drive to the loft, Graham manages to fall asleep. I wake him when we arrive.
'Let's get you to bed', I say softly. He just nods. We hold hands as we walk the stairs to the loft. Mary Margaret looks more than surprised when we walk in hand in hand. I just mouth 'later' to her when I walk up the stairs with Graham. He takes of his shoes, jeans and workshirt as I close the curtains and turn the lights on.
'Do you mind if I sleep in this', he asks. I turn around and hold a little gasp. His body is as gorgeous as his face. Musculair but not too musculair. Apparently he catches me staring because he starts to chuckle a little.
'Uh yeah, sure', I mumble.
'I'm counting on getting the chance to stare, too, you know', he jokes.
'Oh shut up and get in bed', I laugh and give him a shove into my bed. When he's settled I sit beside him. 'You scared me', I whisper.
'Sorry', he whispers back.
'It's okay. It's just... I lost a lot of people in my life and I really don't want to lose you, too'.
'You won't. Tomorrow we'll talk, okay?' He says. When I look at him I see his eyes start to close.
'Okay', I say and kiss him just next to his mouth. 'Good night, Graham.'
'Stay', he says in a sigh. I grab his hand and start to rub circles on it with my thumb. It doesn't take long before he falls asleep and the grib on my hand losens. Before I leave I wipe a lose stand of hair of his forehead. I turn all the lights off except the one on my side of the bed. First, I have to talk to Mary Margaret.
