Damaged

Damaged

Summary: After months of moping around missing Edward, Bella is surprised when she starts to have feelings for Jacob. But can her damaged heart stand being put on the line once again?

"You're so strange sometimes Bella Swan…" Jacob murmured quietly.

"I'm only strange because I hang out with you!" I responded playfully.

Truth be told, I was always quite the strange girl. Honestly, what normal girl is constantly getting hurt the way I often do? But lately, lately I felt even stranger when I was with Jacob… I had spent so much time hurting over Edward and telling myself, Jacob, and basically anyone that would listen that we could never be more than friends. So when his smiles and his hugs brought about that strange fluttery feeling in my stomach… well needless to say it took me by surprise. Having feelings for someone was the last thing on my mind. In my opinion, it was the last thing I wanted to worry about.

"What's going on in that strange, strange head of yours Bella?"

"Bella? Are you even listening to me anymore?"

His voice knocked me out of the little trance I seemed to be in.

"What? Oh I'm sorry Jacob; I just have a lot on my mind lately."

He looked at me with that knowing look of his and just nodded. It was an unspoken agreement between Jacob and I, never mention anything to do with Edward.

I wanted to tell him what I was thinking, I really did, but I didn't know how to put it into words. Edward was quite honestly the furthest thing from my mind right now.

Almost as if he could read my mind, he quietly spoke. "You know Bella; I'm always here if you ever need to talk…"

I did know I just wasn't quite sure how to explain how much I appreciated him for it. So I did the first thing that came to mind and planted a soft kiss on his warm cheek. In hindsight it may not have been the right choice but I couldn't regret it when it felt so right...

He looked at me, confusion written in his dark eyes. I knew he must be wondering what to say, wondering if my feelings for him had changed at all. I knew he was probably trying to decide if he should take a chance and try to change my mind about the state of our relationship once again, but I just didn't have the words.

Of course I knew that Jacob still had feelings for me; it was quite obvious from the way he held me just a little too tight for just a little too long every time we embraced. A question of his feelings wasn't the problem for me. More like, the question of whether my heart could stand being put on the line once more.

It wasn't that I doubted Jacob would treat me well, far from it. It was the immense doubt that I felt I wouldn't treat him as good as he deserved. I had already hurt Jacob enough with my constant moping over Edward, so would a relationship really change anything?

"Bella, please stop getting lost in that head of yours! If there's something bothering you, just tell me, no secrets alright Bella?"

"I don't know if I can tell you what I'm thinking right now Jacob... I don't want to confuse you anymore than I already have"

You reply with a small sigh and you can tell by the raise in his eyebrow that he is definitely intrigued now.

"Bella, the only thing that confuses me is your absurd behavior lately! You tell me that there are things on your mind but then you refuse to discuss them with me. I'd do anything for you Bella, but I can do nothing if you aren't open with me..."

His hand quickly grabbed my face as I tried to look anywhere but at him.

"Please Bella, just talk to me for once. I don't understand why you keep pushing me away when all I want to do is be here for you."

"It's not that simple Jake... I can't just spill my thoughts out to you when you're all I can think about!" I shouted before I could even realize what I had just said.

Jake seemed to be looking at me like I was crazy now. No words were said, yet I just felt as if I had 2 heads suddenly. I was half debating just getting up and running far, far away. 'He's a super fast werewolf idiot' you say to yourself before deciding against bolting.

"Bella..." He breathed out so quietly I thought I might have just imagined him saying my name.

Panic set in, maybe he didn't still have feelings for me, and maybe he was just trying to keep my mind off of the unnamed one... Why else hasn't he said anything but "Bella..."??

"Jacob, I'm so sorry, I thought you still had feelings for me but I must have just misunderstood..."

Your words are spilling out fast as you try to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall.

"I... I'm just going to go now. Goodbye Jacob."

You're barely to the door before he grabs you and crushes his lips to yours. There's no caution, no worrying about you getting hurt, just pure, untamed passion.

When you finally break away for air his forehead rests against yours as he gently runs his hands through your hair. For the first time in months, I was genuinely happy. No worries about anything or anyone but this beautiful boy that stood before me.

"I love you Bella Swan, so much more then you could even imagine... I don't know why you freaked out just now, but never think I don't have feelings for you! That's so far from the truth its absurd."

I wanted to tell him that I knew he loved me, I knew that would never change; I just couldn't help but have my doubts. But instead, instead I chose to tell him what I had been struggling to say for a long time now...

"Jacob, I'm damaged, I had my heart broken and for a long time I didn't think I could ever get over it, but if you're willing to try... I think maybe you can heal my damaged heart."

The end