Where I stood
A Hinata Song Fic
I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
If the truth were to be told aloud Hinata would say she had doubts about if she were doing the right thing in allowing this wedding to proceed. She was listening to Tsunade as the Godaime Hokage read the specially prepared wedding vows for the happy couple that now stood before her. Standing nearby in her bridesmaids dress, and watching as the man that she'd long admired took the hand of his long time teammate, soulmate, and love Sakura Haruno as he repeated the vows to her. She wondered at the decision she'd made a long time ago.
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none
Those doubts though were quickly crushed down though as she saw the look of love that was all but glowing visibly in the eyes of the soon to be newly weds. She was a person who did not waffle on her decisions once made. No; Hinata Hyuuga stood by them with all the courage she'd learned from watching her blonde friend continuously try so hard while defying the odds at every turn. She'd made her choice to put any feelings she had aside, and allow Naruto to pursue his pink haired crush. She vowed she'd help him achieve his dreams at any cost. So now she stood by ready and willing to accept that price.
No matter how hard it might be.
There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening
As Sakura now repeated the vows to Naruto, Hinata found herself reminiscing about the times before when she had first seen Naruto. She had wanted so badly to go and talk to him, but at the time she didn't have the courage she would gain much later in life; much too late unfortunately. As she'd witnessed him try again and again, no matter the failure, no matter the odds stacked against him. He stood his ground always. As if he were some spring that when crushed down would pop back up again ready for another go around.
She admired him so much as she saw in him all the things she couldn't be. All the things she didn't have the courage to obtain. She even felt the first pangs of a crush as she watched him longingly from afar. One day she worked so hard just gathering up the courage to talk to him that she was surprised when he actually talked to her himself. She could hear his voice But the words almost didn't register with her since she was so embarrassed at the time that all she could do was fidget and stare at anything and everything but him.
So she'd almost missed it when he said how much he admired the young girl he called Sakura-chan. Her heart had nearly broken right there on the spot. But she was a Hyuuga, and so she composed herself with grace, and asked him quietly with that damnable stutter to tell her all about this Sakura-chan. He had smiled than. A genuine true smile that seemed to say "thanks for understanding I appreciate it so much."
'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
That was the day she had vowed then that she would help him achieve his dreams. All of them even the one that pained her the most because it would mean that she might never fully explore her hearts desire.
She ruminated in the moments as the ceremony continued Naruto placing the soft gold band upon Sakura's finger, the tears sliding from the Kunoichi's beautiful emerald eyes ones of unadulterated joy. She remembered well the killer blow to her confidence and self-esteem that her father now sitting with Neji in the front row of the audience had dealt her the day he had sent her away to live with Kurenai-sensei. It was a hard and bitter pill to swallow, and it stayed with her for sometime until the Chunin Exam preliminaries.
She fondly remembered Naruto cheering her on as she faced off against Neji. Her cousin's eyes filled with raw hatred for her, and the main household. But Naruto's words bolstered her flagging courage and enabled her to stand when all logic told her she should have fallen.
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
It was also the day that she knew she could never care for him as much as Sakura herself did. She too had felt wonder and awe at Naruto's seemingly improbable win over her beloved Kiba in their match. But he had won, and when he had Sakura had given a righteous cheer and the look on her face at that moment had been infectious. It had been Sakura who had stood by his side, and congratulated him. Though she supposed she could count a small victory in that she had finally worked up the nerve to offer him the healing salve she carried. His look of thanks had been a blessed moment for her, his acknowledgement lifting her heart, and carrying her through the pain that had followed.
See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
Once upon a time Hinata admitted to herself; she had thought love was a simple emotion. You did or you didn't. You loved all the way or not at all, and so she had originally been upset with Sakura as her attention had been drawn to Sasuke over Naruto. It had driven her mad sometimes at how blind Sakura was being.
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside
She wanted to scream, to smack some sense into Sakura's pink head. To beg Naruto to see her standing there, to do anything that could get the feelings in her heart out in the open. But she was torn up by her lack of courage. Her inability to grasp the confidence that she saw Naruto reach out and grab with both hands everyday. But Naruto never wavered. Everyday he gave himself to Sakura with his whole heart and his entire being. It was as if he knew this very day would come. Now as Sakura reached out and placed the ring on his finger bringing his hand to her mouth so she could plant an affectionate kiss on it. Hinata knew that this was meant to be.
'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
She had taken so long to get to this point. So much pain, and effort and hard work, so much heartbreak, and loss had lead to who she was now on this day. For a brief moment she felt like that scared little girl who could only watch from behind her cousin Neji's back, or from behind one of her teammates. She even allowed herself a moments jealousy, and envy for Sakura. Daring to imagine that she was the one standing where Sakura now stood, she allowed herself that moment before quickly slamming the door of her heart on those emotions. Closing them away and allowing herself a genuine and true smile for her friends.
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
She allowed herself to enjoy the moment. Acceptance had one very good aspect to it, and that was the fact that while she couldn't love him like she wanted too, she knew Sakura would. So Hinata could be content to let him go. Sakura now standing there at his side, had nearly lost him when he had been taken by Akatsuki so long ago. She had thrown her entire being, heart, mind, and soul into his rescue. It had been Sakura who had lead the way pushing them all onwards, daring any of them to slow down even once.
Their love had only grown slowly but steadily over the years. And Hinata had been there to watch it grow. While she may not have been the student of humanity that Neji was, her Byakugan was no less developed, and she could read people as well as any Hyuuga. So she had used her unique insight, and seen the feelings Sakura had for Naruto grow into a deep, soulful, and affectionate, and very true love. She knew than that she had to move on and accept it or she would forever spend her life wallowing in regret and misery.
And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do
Now a tear rolled down her cheek from her pearly white eyes as the bride and groom kissed each other, and she felt a soft heated blush rise to her cheeks. She could only hope that one day Kiba would kiss her with the same intensity, and passion, and yes love that she saw now between the two. She allowed herself a small but genuine smile at the thought, and smiled again as Sakura and Naruto both looked in her direction, and gave her the brightest smiles they could.
She smiled back genuinely and secretly vowed to them both that she would always be there for them both. Should they ever need her she would stand with them. It was the least she could do for the man who had inspired, and encouraged her with his actions if not his words. He had taught her without ever speaking to her, how to trust herself, and believe in her own potential to change with hard work. He meant so much to her, and she admired him so much. She admired them both honestly. Sakura too had changed for the better, once a foolish fan girl with foolish dreams. Now she was a rising star in the Leaf village, and she had done it all on her own with hard work, and the inspiration of the man who now stood as her husband by her side.
'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
Now Hinata joined the wedding party as she linked arms with Gaara and followed Sasuke who as best man had linked arms with Ino the maid of honor; behind them Temari linked arms with Shikamaru, and the mysterious young woman named Rin linked arms with a smiling Rock Lee. She was lead by Gaara the Kazekage of Suna towards the reception area, where she could smell the ramen being prepared by Teuchi the old chef from the Ichiraku ramen stand. How Naruto would love that she thought with a small laugh.
Gaara standing next to her smiled down at her seeming to understand her amusement but making no comment. Out of the corner of her eye she did see one thing though that brought a shy blush to her face. Hiding behind a tree while he rode on his large white friend Akamaru, was Kiba who sat there with a strange expression on his face as she walked towards the reception arm in arm with Gaara. Could that be jealousy? Could he actually be thinking that something was going on between her and the Kazekage. She smirked at the thought, and resolutely vowed something else at that moment. Someone else would know her feelings tonight.
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood
Maybe she could never tell Naruto what she had long wanted too, but maybe she wouldn't have too. She was not blind, and she had long known that Kiba held her in the highest esteem. He had put his life on the line for her more then once, and been there for her as well when she needed him most. He had stood there by her side without reservation or complaint, and had done his best to make her feel safe and loved. He had even had the courage to ask her out on more then one occasion, and had even asked her father for permission to court her officially, a fact that scored him a good many points in her book.
So it was with this mind that she walked up to him as the music began for the first dance, and took his hand leading him onto the dance floor. Here in front of everyone she would reach up and kiss him, as long and as passionately as she could. For she remembered her lessons well, and would let nothing stop her.
"Thank you Naruto; though I cannot love you as I would like I well leave that to Sakura who can do so. I have someone else who needs me now, and I well not let someone else stand where I have stood. I will stand by his side, and he will love me as I should be loved."
The End
Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto
Where I Stood: sung by Missy Higgins
