A knock on the door was registered in Lin's mind, but she ignored it momentarily to shift her body to a different angle in front of her large vanity mirror. She always thoroughly inspected her uniform before leaving; running her fingers along the length of the smooth metal, adjusting the belt around her slender waist. Her appearance was important as an officer. She had to make sure this was immaculate.
When the knock came again, softly, Lin's hands hesitated against her elbow guards.
"Lin." A soft voice spoke through the wood, bringing a gasp from her lips. Letting go of her elbow, she turned and practically bolted to the door, throwing it open to see Tenzin standing there, arms tucked into his sleeves. His expression was somber, but there was a warmth to his eyes that had Lin smiling.
"Tenzin! Wh-What are you doing here?" Lin swallowed, absently brushing her fingertips through her hair to make sure no strands fell out of place. There was something about the man that always had her acting like a teenaged girl. Not only because of her feelings for him, but also because their relationship had been...strained lately. She missed him, but her duties as a policewoman were getting more and more time-consuming. She rarely made time to visit Air Temple Island, where Tenzin usually kept himself. Though she loved her work, she loved Tenzin more.
"Good Evening, Lin. Work?" He asked, nodding his head in the direction of her uniform. She smiled again, nodding.
"Indeed. I was just about to leave. Did you want something? Tea? I can stay a few minutes, if-" She trailed off when Tenzin held up a hand, shaking his head. A sliver of nervousness crept into her, realizing just now that he hadn't made a move to hug or kiss her. Heart beating faster, Lin wrung her hands and stalked back to her vanity table, twitchy fingers fussing with the brush she'd left there. Waiting.
"I just wanted to talk, Lin. It shouldn't take up too much of your time." Tenzin finally spoke, pulling his arms free from his sleeves to tuck them behind his back instead. Lin tensed. It was Tenzin's lecture pose. She didn't want another fight. Turning, Lin gripped the vanity table behind her and shook her head.
"Look, Tenzin. I'm sorry about last time. I didn't mean to blow up on you like that, alright? It's just work has me bound so tightly, lately! And when you brought up such a...sensitive topic, I-"
"Lin." Tenzin silenced her, bringing the woman's head snapping up to look at him. His eyes were firm now. She had a bad feeling about this. She wanted to run away, disappear. Anything to keep whatever was in that brain of his from coming out of his mouth. But she was locked in place. She may have been a budding policewoman and a master earthbender, but Tenzin held a power over her that she could never deny. When she was calm again, Tenzin sighed, relaxing his shoulders.
"It's alright, Lin. I understand your work is important to you. I, too, would like not to have another argument." He stared pointedly at her, silently commanding her to keep her tongue. Lin's jaw tightened. Now she was sure she wasn't going to like this conversation. "But hopefully, after today, neither of us will have to worry about that ever again." He finished. At first, Lin relaxed, liking that idea. Wanting to go back to the days where they were always happy. But why did he look so...sad?
"Tenzin...?" Lin started, words falling short when he glanced up at her, face drawn tight with barely contained...what? What was he thinking? Her breath drew short when he came closer, resting his hands on her shoulders.
"Lin. I'm sorry." Was all he'd say. She just blinked, eyes wide.
"A-About what?" She tried to chuckle. Tenzin never did anything wrong. Why would he need to apologize?
"We can't do this anymore." He frowned. Lin's breathing was starting to go shallow.
"Can't do what?" She didn't understand. What the hell was going on?
"This. Us." He explained, letting his hands drop from her shoulders. She went cold. Oh no...
"Us? I-Is this about the argument? I already said sorry, Tenzin! It won't happen-"
"No, Lin. It's not just the arguments," he interrupted, taking a step back from her, "It's us. You must have felt it too, haven't you? We're drifting apart, Lin. It would make the most sense for us to-"
"No!" Lin shook her head, terror gripping at her throat. She loved him. She loved him! Why was he doing this?
"Lin." Tenzin warned.
"Tenzin, this is stupid! Couples...have their ups and downs all the time! You can't just-!"
"Lin!" He snapped, silencing her immediately. Her heart was thumping in her ears. Too loud. It seemed like everything around her was too loud, too bright. But Tenzin...he looked like he always did. Calm. Collected. Even though he was...breaking up with her?
"We're falling apart, Lin." He started up again when she was quiet enough, eyes soft. "It would be for the best if we ended our relationship. For both of us." He tried to explain. As if it was a no-brainer. Didn't he love her?
"But..." She tried to fight again, but he shook his head, stepping closer. She tensed as Tenzin lifted his hands to rest of either side of her face.
"No buts, Lin. This kind of thing happens all the time. When who people are no longer compatible, they leave. Sometimes they even manage to remain close, afterwards." She couldn't help but hear a bit of hope in his voice, but she just stared at him. No longer compatible. Was that what they were? "I will always love you, Lin." He explained, holding onto her face so she could listen. "And it's because I love you that I want you to move on." He let his hands slide down her smooth cheeks before dropping slowly. That made no sense! If he loved her like she loved him, then he should always want to be with her! Forever!
"I know, it's hard to understand. But this is for the best, for both of us." His voice softened, "You have your growing career as a policewoman. I want you to focus on that. One day you could even become Chief of Police." He gave her an encouraging smile, but it fell flat in her heart.
"And what do you have?" her voice sounded weak, shaky. She hated it. Even Tenzin's smile faultered. "What do you have, Tenzin?" She asked again, voice raising.
"Lin." He started, voice gentle. When he started reaching for her again, she quickly backed up, anger spiking out of nowhere.
"Tell me, Tenzin! If my work is so important to me, then whats important to you? Because it clearly isn't me! Your training? The Temple?" Her voice was starting to raise, sounding hysterical to her ears. "Pema?" She hissed, catching the pained look in his eyes when she did. All of her fury boiled into one spot in her chest, the image of that pretty little girl filling her mind. The girl who made eyes at Tenzin whenever she saw him, even if Lin was there. The rage in her threatened to boil over, but she somehow managed to keep it in check, even as the ground shuddered beneath their feet. So. He was leaving her, for that woman. How fucking dandy.
"Lin, calm down." Tenzin lifted his hands, placating. But she couldn't.
"I'm right, aren't I? You want to leave me for her, don't you? Don't you?" She shouted, another tremor running underneath their feet. She dared him to say no. Dared the bastard to lie to her face. Tenzin looked ill for a second, but eventually wiped the emotion from his face and stood taller.
"Yes."
All at once, the ground stopped shaking. Her heart stopped beating. Her breath stopped flowing. Her worse fears had finally come. Tenzin, the man she'd given herself to as a teenager, who had been hers for years. Was leaving her for another woman. That sickeningly sweet woman, who had probably been seeing him this past month that she'd been unable to get to Air Temple Island. That stupid little bitch that always smiled and followed Tenzin around, wanting to do anything she could for him. Hell, she probably even agreed to pop out a hundred babies for him, Lin mused, feeling sick. That was it, wasn't it? Tenzin was leaving Lin, who had been there for him since they were kids, for a woman who had agreed to have his children. The tightness in Lin's chest was unbearable. But she couldn't find her voice anymore. Not understanding her lack of reaction, Tenzin stepped closer again. But when he reached out to touch her face, Lin jerked her head back, eyes wide. Broken. He dropped his hand immediately.
"Lin." He rushed on, wanting to repair whatever damage was starting to tear at Lin from the inside out. If she wasn't exploding on him, she was imploding on herself. That was exactly what he didn't want. "Lin, look at me." He commanded, bringing forth that controlling air about him that he'd always used to dampen Lin's wild temper. When her eyes flicked up to his, he felt as though he had her, but the dead look in them was worrisome.
"Lin. This is for the best. You may not think so now, but you'll thank me in the longrun. Your work is important to you, which is good. Family is what is important to me."
So it was true. Was Pema already pregnant? she wondered, that tightness to her chest making it difficult to breathe.
"I'm not doing this for me," He started, watching her eyes lift to him in disbelief, "I'm not. I'm doing it for you. I want you to focus on your job. You can't do that if you're always arguing with me." Of course he'd try to flip on her, make it seem like this was for her benefit. Stupid Lin might've believed him. But Smart Lin knew better. This was all for him. For Pema.
Lin let that realization flutter around the ball in her chest, covering it. A cool rush of water eased over her her burning heart, encasing it in the chill. Until all of her tension left her body. Tenzin thought it was a good sign, but when Lin still hadn't made a move or even blinked, his brow furrowed.
Externally, she showed nothing. But internally, her heart was cooling. Releasing it's hold on Tenzin. He didn't want her. He wanted Pema. He wanted Pema because she wanted kids and Lin didn't. That mantra continued until all of the pain that she was feeling finally disappeared. Replaced by nothing. She felt nothing. The aching in her heart. That ball of tension in her chest. Nothing. It was as if the ground that reached up and wrapped around her, protecting her from the pain. The heartache. The scent of earth was calming to her, welcoming that shield of rock, metaphorically binding her metal around it to ensure her safety. He wanted her to focus on her work? She could do that. It was where she belonged. There, with the earth. The last lingering flame of her wild heart was finally snuffed out. Leaving ample room for Working Lin to grow and flourish.
Seeing the change, even though her face never shifted, Tenzin backed up once. He hadn't made a mistake. He'd thought over this for hours and hours and this was the best decision. Then why did it feel like he'd just cut off a limb?
"Lin...?" He questioned, brow furrowed. When Lin looked up into his eyes again, he saw nothing there. No fire. No passion. Just Lin. Not his Lin. He wasn't sure which Lin this was.
"I have to go to work." She finally spoke, the dead tone in her voice shocking to him. His Lin was always full of life. She yelled when she was excited. She laughed so loud the walls shook. Who was this?
"Lin? Are you okay?" He wanted to step forward, but when the look Lin was giving him went suddenly hostile, he stopped moving.
"Get out, Tenzin." She hissed. He inhaled in surprise, but did not fight her. He took one step back, nodding gently, then turned to open her door and step through. She made no move to follow him, still glaring. When Tenzin was safely outside the door, he turned back around to look at her. His Lin. No, not his. Someone else entirely.
"Lin. I'm sor-"
The door slammed in his face, but the click of the lock was louder. The last thing he'd seen was Lin's angry face, a thin layer of moisture building in those beautifully dead eyes. Every fiber of his being wanted to tear down that door and go to her. But he knew that would only make things worse. He'd already made up his mind. And so, he noticed, had she. He had to believe that this was for the best. If not, then he'd just made the worst decision of his entire life. Shaking his head, Tenzin steeled his expression and turned to leave quietly, his steps slow. As if his body resisted the movement. For the best, he mused, forcing himself away.
Lin heard every step outside of her door, not moving once since she'd shut the door in his face. Her angry gaze was still on the plain wooden door, face drawn tight. Chest moving quickly with uneven breaths. She hadn't even noticed the watering of her eyes until it spilled over, a cold drop sliding down her cheek. The chill startled her, and when another fell, her arms started to shake. Just as her tense body started to crumble, she dropped into the chair in front of her vanity table, face falling against the smooth wood as she broke down.
Heavy, body-shuddering sobs wracked through her. All of her pain and misery pouring from the center of her chest as she shouted and screamed against the wood of her table. Why was this happening to her? What had she done to deserve it? Tenzin had promised to be with her forever. And now he was gone. What in the Spirits names had she done? Pain emptied out of that ball in her chest each time she sobbed, feeling better for it, even as the sound just added to her misery. For five long minutes, she sobbed openly, occasionally pounding her hand against the table until the wood cracked. She didn't stop until all of her energy had been pushed into each heavy sob, leaving her weak and breathless.
She didn't know how long she sat there at her table, covered in tears and snot and spit. Her hair a mess. No way was she going to work now. Not today.
The sound of a door startled her, but she hadn't moved an inch. Couldn't.
"Hey," A soft female voice reached her ears, a soothing balm around her, "How's my little pebble doing?"
"Mom..." Lin sobbed softly, voice hoarse. The sound of shuffling got closer, until Lin felt a hand resting on the back of her head. It repaired the cracks in her soul, bringing her strength back to her.
"Are you crying? What did I tell you about that? Beifong's do not cry." Toph admonished, even though her voice was still soft. Hand gently stroking Lin's hair.
"Tenzin. He..." Lin hiccuped, burying her face against her arms. "He's gone. He doesn't want to be with me anymore. H-He wants to be with Pema!" She complained, feeling childish. Toph was quiet, still gently petting her daughter's hair.
"That it?" She eventually asked, sounding skeptical. "C'mon now, Lin. I taught you better than that. The love of another person comes second only to the love your have for yourself. Sure, Twinkletoes Junior is great, but since when was a man in charge of your own happiness? That just aint, healthy, girl." Toph sighed, stroking Lin's hair. Her shoulders had started to relax, taking in her mother's wisdom quietly. It did seem kind of silly, to be so caught up over another person. And ever since she was a baby, her mother would drill into her, that she had to make her own happiness. Not rely on someone else to give it to her. Lin sighed, feeling stupid.
"I'm...sorry. It just hurts." She admitted, though the pain was a lot more dull now. Toph pet her daughter's hair again.
"I know, I know. But you'll get over it. You're my kid. That's how we are." Lin could hear the smile in her voice. Lin wanted to smile, but couldn't.
"But what if I don't? What if I'm broken forever?" She whispered, worried. She'd never felt this sad before. Toph tutted softly, giving her head a pat.
"You will! Hey, did I ever tell you when Auntie Suki left Sokka when we were young? Man, he bawled and bawled like a big ol' baby." She laughed, a full throated sound that eased all of Lin's troubles.
"How is that supposed to make me feel any better?" Lin complained softly, sighing. Toph stopped laughing, thinking for a while.
"Huh. Yeah, maybe bringing up your dad was a bad idea." She grumbled, finally bringing a smile to Lin's lips. "I guess what I'm getting at, is that we all go through heartbreak. The real obstacle is growing and learning from that experience, to do better next time." She rested her hand against Lin's back. Who still hadn't lifted her head.
"Did you?"
"Huh?"
"Did you have your heart broken? Before dad?" Lin asked quietly, feeling 10 years old again. Toph was silent for a long time, probably not liking to think about it.
"Yeah... Maybe once. Now that I think of it, maybe breaking hearts is hereditary for those airbenders..." She added softly, rubbing Lin's armored back slowly.
"What?" Lin frowned.
"Nothing, nothing. C'mon, girl. You've got to get to work, don't you? I've gotta get going too." Toph ruffled Lin's hair gently. She tensed.
"But I'm already late!" She complained, making her mother laugh. Fingers reached underneath Lin's chin, lifting her head from the table.
"Like I told your dad the day he said he loved me; Better late than never." Toph smiled down at Lin, the touch on her chin giving away just as the smiling woman began to vanish infront of Lin's eyes. "You'll be fine, Lin. You're my kid. Remember?" Her voice trailed off. And she was gone.
Lin was left staring at her door again, her face dry, her heart hurting but in tact. When she lowered her eyes, they fell onto her desk, eying the picture of her younger self, her mother's arm around her shoulders. They were both smiling that big Beifong smile, the sun in their eyes. It brought an old ache to her chest, even as Lin smiled at it.
"Thanks, mom." She whispered softly, pushing herself up from her table. That'd be the last time she let a man make her cry. She was in charge of her own happiness after all.
Feeling like a new woman, Lin let her gaze linger on the picture of her mother for a second longer before snatching up her coat and making for the door. Opening it gently instead of the usual wild throw she gave the poor old wood when she left in the morning. Straightening her back, Lin left her room, and went to work, flicking the lock shut once she was down the hall.
