Chapter One: The Rug of Deception!

One minute Kakashi sensei was making a speech. The next one a bunch of kunai impaled him all over, and he was sent flying. From where Naruto was hanging from a tree, he stared in horror as his sensei's limp body reeled through the air. Sakura didn't blame him. It all happened so quickly.

'Ah, Sasuke!' cried Naruto. 'You went too far!'

Sasuke said nothing as he walked out of the forest with a satisfied look on his face. Sakura followed him. Was Kakashi sensei dead? No, no way he was. This was a trick. But she could use it to get closer to Sasuke.

'Wow Sasuke,' said Sakura, 'that was so cool. I can't believe you took Kakashi sensei off guard.'

Sasuke picked up a bell. 'I've got the bells.'

Dead silence. A puddle of blood was beginning to form near the corpse of Kakashi sensei. Naruto remained silent. 'Could someone let me down?'

Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned away. Sakura sighed and hurled a kunai to cut the rope. Naruto fell downwards and landed on his head before falling over onto his back. 'Thanks Sakura.'

'Geeze Naruto,' said Sakura, 'can't you at least try not to embarrass yourself for once?'

'Hey Sasuke never would have gotten that bell if it weren't for me!' said Naruto. 'And anyway there is only one left.' He paused. 'Um, uh, Sakura how about you take it.'

'What?' said Sakura. 'Well I mean-'

'Who says I'm giving either of you one.' said Sasuke.

He was joking, wasn't he?

'Why you-' Naruto paused. 'Ah crap, what about Kakashi sensei! Who's going to pass us?'

Sakura slapped him upside the head. 'Idiot! Kakashi is a jonin. Way above us. There's no way we could kill him. Any second now that decoy will disappear and the real one will come forward.'

Dead silence. They waited. And waited. And the puddle of blood grew ever larger. Flies began to gather. Sakura tried not to look at it. What was taking Kakashi sensei so long?

'Uh, he isn't disappearing.' said Naruto. 'Do you think maybe we injured him?'

'No way. It's a really good trap I'll bet.' said Sakura, now a little concerned. 'Uh, we'll just wait until he comes out.'

There was a loud ringing noise. Naruto looked up. 'That was the alarm.'

'Yeah.' said Sakura. 'Yeah, it was. Kakashi sensei? Kakashi sensei come out! Seriously this isn't funny!'

There was no response. Naruto turned to Sasuke. 'Sasuke you moron! You killed our sensei!'

Sasuke looked just a bit concerned. 'He wouldn't have died if you hadn't been distracting him.'

'You attacked him because he was distracted!' said Naruto.

'He told us to come at him with an intent to kill, Naruto.' said Sakura. 'Sasuke just followed orders.' Then it set in. They had killed their sensei on their first day. 'Oh my god! My career can't end like this! I graduated first on all the written exams and now! What do we do?!'

'We could tell the truth.' said Naruto.

'We're just genin Naruto. Kakashi was a legend.' said Sakura. 'They'll throw us in an ANBU holding cell for the rest of our lives!'

'Well, why don't we tell them that Sasuke did it?' said Naruto.

'That won't work. We're all in this together.' said Sakura.

'No, we're not!' said Naruto. 'Sasuke the one who threw a bunch of knives into our sensei!'

'I wasn't expecting them to hit.' said Sasuke. 'Then why did you throw them?!' roared Naruto.

'Would both of you knock it off?!' said Sakura. 'We need to think.'

She paced back and forth. Minutes ticked on. And Sakura realized that it was only a matter of time before someone came to investigate. What did her lessons tell her?

She was in hostile territory with the incriminating evidence. And she had to dispose of it. But she didn't know how to do that. She needed somewhere to hide. That was it.

'Okay, okay I'm going to call Ino.' said Sakura.

'How's Ino going to help us?' asked Naruto.

'Her house is near, and her parents are out on business.' said Sakura. 'Hang on.' She drew out her phone and typed in the number. She knew it by heart back when they had still been friends.

There was an answer. 'Oh hey Billboard Brow.' said Ino. 'How's it going?'

'Knock it off. Ino, listen, I'm in a lot of trouble, and I need your help.' said Sakura.

Dead silence. Sakura wondered if they had been disconnected. 'Ino?'

'Well, well, well,' said Ino, 'look who's come crawling back.'

'Ino seriously-'

'What was it you said before?' asked Ino. '"We're rivals now."'

'Ino!' said Sakura. 'Look I'm sorry, I could have been more-'

'Oh you're sorry?' said Ino. '"Thanks for protecting me from bullies and giving me a social life. Now I'm going to go steal your place on Sasuke's team."'

'I didn't even choose who got assigned where.' said Sakura.

'Oh, I'm sorry,' laughed Ino. 'Either there is some interference on this end of the line, or I can't hear you over all the noise. Hear it? It's the sound of you breaking off years of friendship over a guy you barely even know.'

'You don't know Sasuke, either!' said Sakura. Wait, what was she saying. She knew Sasuke. She watched him all the time.

'Yeah, but I didn't betray my best friend for his sake so there.' said Ino. 'I mean, come on! I protected you from bullies and taught you to have confidence, and you just ditched me. Really, why would I ever help you, Billboard Brow?'

'Because…' Sakura paused, 'Ino if I don't get your help I could go to prison. I'm serious. This could ruin my life.'

'Wow seriously?' said Ino. 'You haven't even been a ninja for a day, and you've already gone missing-nin? That's hilarious! Did Naruto drag you into one of his pranks? What did he do this time?'

'I didn't mean for it to happen!' said Sakura. 'It's not my fault! If Naruto hadn't-'

'Oh poor little Sakura.' said Ino in a chiding tone. 'Master of everything except the skills that matter. Did you not pay attention during the classes which said that ninjas are supposed to work as a team?'

'Well… yes.' said Sakura. 'But-'

'And if you're a team,' said Ino, 'that means what they do is your responsibility. Isn't it?'

'…Yes.' said Sakura in a small voice.

'Right,' said Ino, 'tell you what. When you go to trial I'll pull some strings and just get you stripped of your status as a ninja. Maybe give you a job in the flower shop. Or maybe as a maid. Something more on your level.

'You can be a flower girl when Sasuke and I have our wedding. Let's face it; you always were the type of flower best used to complement the better ones.'

Sakura almost flared up at this. But she knew that she couldn't burn her bridge. And she had a secret weapon. 'Wait, Ino! You'll be helping Sasuke by helping me.'

Ino remained silent. '…I'm listening.

'Sasuke is on my team.' said Sakura. 'If I go down he'll go down with me. He's even deeper in this than me. I called you because Naruto wants to rat on him and I don't want him to be punished.' She had her. Nothing brought girls together like Sasuke.

'…Okay.' said Ino. 'What exactly do you want?'

'Um, okay, I need to bring something to your house.' said Sakura.

'That's it?' asked Ino. 'Fine billboard brow. Send it over.'

'Um, I can't do it in daylight.' said Sakura.

'What?' said Ino. 'What exactly are we talking about here?'

'I uh,' Sakura looked to the corpse. 'I'll tell you later.'

'No way, Sakura.' said Ino. 'I'm not going to do this unless you give me some details.'

'Damn it.' said Sakura, before pulling the phone away from her ear. 'Sasuke I need your help.'

Sasuke looked up at her with narrowed eyes. 'With what?'

'I need you to convince Ino to help me store uh, the package, at her house.' said Sakura.

'Can't you convince her on your own.' asked Sasuke. 'She's your friend.'

Wait he thought she was still friends with Ino? Hadn't he paid any attention to them over the past year? Then suddenly Naruto walked up all smiled. 'I'll try it!'

Before Sakura could say anything, Naruto had snatched the phone from her hand. 'Hey, Naruto-' began Sakura.

'Hey Ino, it's me!' said Naruto. 'We'd really appreciate it if you could help us store the b-'

Sakura snatched the phone and hit him. 'You idiot!'

'I can tell your team is going great.' said Ino smugly. 'I'm so glad there is at least one person on your team at your level.'

'Sasuke, please.' said Sakura. 'Just, say something to her.'

She offered the phone. Sasuke remained silent and looked at her for a long moment. Couldn't he see Sakura was doing this for him? He walked forward and grabbed the phone before putting on speakerphone.

'Hello.' said Sasuke.

'Oh hey Sasuke, how's it going?' asked Ino in a flirty tone.

'I would… greatly… appreciate it if you could help us.' said Sasuke.

'Oh, of course, Sasuke. Anything for a friend.' said Ino. 'Come on over, and wear something nice.'

Sakura fumed as Ino hung up. But she forced herself to calm down and took back her phone. 'Okay, so we've got a place to stash the body while we figure out what to do. Now what?'

'Can't we take the body there?' asked Naruto.

'Of course, we can't!' said Sakura. 'Not like this! We can't drag a jonin's corpse through the streets. It's miles away. Wait, um, do we have any storage scrolls or something?'

'Storage what?' asked Naruto.

Sakura sighed. 'Sasuke what about you? Do you have any storage scrolls?'

'…Yes.' said Sasuke.

'Great, so we can use one of-' said Sakura.

'However, I don't know how to use them.' said Sasuke. 'I inherited them from my clan, and they require special techniques to use. I never learned them.'

'Oh.' said Sakura. 'Okay, okay so we need a rug or something. Sasuke could we use a rug from your house?'

'I am not going to use one of the priceless rugs of my family manor carrying a corpse.' snapped Sasuke. 'This is Naruto's fault anyway.'

Sakura guessed it sort of was partially Naruto's fault. Sort of. Who was she kidding, Naruto hadn't thrown those kunai. It was Kakashi's fault for making such a stupid and dangerous test.

'Well I guess I could see if I have one in my apartment.' said Naruto. Then he paused. 'Hang on, it's kind of my only one. Don't you have one Sakura?'

'I can't.' said Sakura. 'My parents are at home!'

'Oh.' said Naruto. 'Well, I'll go get mine then.'

Naruto rushed off into town. Sakura resumed pacing. Sasuke, in the meantime, stood there with his arms crossed. His face was expressionless. He looked really cool, but Sakura couldn't appreciate his coolness right now. She had bigger problems.

'This is bad.' said Sakura. 'This is really bad. What are we going to do if someone finds out we murdered our sensei?'

'We could blame it on Naruto.' said Sasuke.

'Oh right, because Naruto is really capable of killing Kakashi-sensei?' said Sakura.

Then she stopped. Had Sasuke seriously suggested pinning the blame for something he did on Naruto? Naruto was an idiot, but he didn't deserve to go to prison. No, Sasuke was clearly just joking, and she hadn't noticed because of his deadpan voice.

'Oh right.' said Sasuke.

Presently Naruto came back, carrying a large rug over his back. It was plenty long enough for their purposes. 'I'm back, Sakura! I got the rug!'

'Great, let's get to work.' said Sakura. 'Put it down and unroll it over there.' She looked to the bloodied patch where Kakashi was lying. 'Um okay, we'll set it down over there. And I guess we'll have to roll Kakashi's body over onto it.'

Sakura approached the body, feeling sick at the sight of all that blood. Crouching down, she took hold of Kakashi's left arm. 'Uh, Sasuke, Naruto could you give me a hand.'

Sasuke and Naruto came up. Sasuke got the legs while Naruto got the other arm and they moved Kakashi little by little over to the rug. When they had set him down, they proceeded to roll him up in the rug.

Sakura looked at her hands, which were bloody. And also her feet. This was horrible. 'Now we'll carry this to Ino's place.'

Naruto tried to lift it but with Kakashi inside it took a team effort. As they hauled the rug through the park and into the town, Sasuke wrinkled his nose. 'It stinks of blood.'

'Ino owns a flower shop. It should disguise the smell.' said Sakura. Was Sasuke complaining? No, the smell was a relevant concern. 'I think. Now come on we've got to go. Naruto, you're not keeping up your end.'

'You know I could create some shadow clones?' said Naruto.

'Are you kidding?' asked Sakura. 'If we bring jutsu into this, it'll attract even more attention.' She nearly lost her grip. 'Sasuke could you help me with this?'

Little by little, they made their way on. Until finally they came before the doors to Ino's flower shop. There Sakura walked up to the door and put down the rug. 'Okay, we're here. I'll knock. Uh, Sasuke could you stand here with me?'

Sasuke came forward and stood beside her. Sakura walked up and knocked on the door. After a moment, Ino answered and looked out. 'Hey Sasuke, I was wondering when you'd drop by. So what did you need help with?'

Sakura smiled and laughed. This would be awkward.


Authors Note:

This is a funny idea I came up with a while back. I'll see if I can get another chapter posted sometime soon. I hope everyone was in character. Ino doesn't get a lot of screen time so it's a bit difficult to pin her down.