"Yes... yes. This is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land."
Rose looked up. Jack was at the console, playing with little plastic dinosaurs. He'd been a bit wonky ever since they'd accidentally docked on that transport ship full of pirates a few days ago, but this was a new level.
" I think we should call it... your grave!"
"Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
One of the dinosaurs reeled back, as if in shock. Rose suppressed a giggle.
"JACK!"
He jumped guiltily and nudged the toys out of sight.
The Doctor strode into the console room.
"I just got a wave from that ship full of people with very, very big guns that we landed on a few days ago. They said that you stole something."
"Oh, are we going back then?" Rose piped up happily.
"Good, I liked that one with the odd hat."
The Doctor froze. "Which one?"
Rose grinned. "The big, handsome muscled one."
After a few minutes of consideration, the Doctor turned and silently strode out of the room again.
"Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now DIE!"
"Oh no, God, oh dear God in heaven..."
Rose shrugged and picked up a plastic T Rex. If you can't beat em...
A/N: A long time ago, I did a list of things Jack isn't allowed to do on the TARDIS. I was going to make it into a series of ficlets, but I only ever got around to writing two. But I couldn't resist the Firefly crossover, so here you are.
