Title: Eventually

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just screw with the characters. Puppet master, muhahahaha . . . ha.

Rating: Currently PG-13

Summary: AU Fic. A look into the life of JJ and Roxanne if, on Christmas, she thought of who was the nicest person she could ask for advice. How would that affect their life? . . . Starts in the episode where JJ heads off to college.

Author's Note: Someone please write some JJ/Rox fics. I had to resort to making them myself! And it's not very good, blah. I might delete it, but, for now, enjoy.

**

"We couldn't," he whispered, tracing her hand lightly. His fingertips felt the tiniest bit heavy on her skin, and it lulled her enough to believe this moment would last forever.

"I know," she confesses with a lilting smile in her tone. "I was just . . . saying it."

Roxanne moved closer to JJ's body heat, enjoying the usual after-mix of warmth and moistness that was almost too hot as she felt him skin to skin. But she wanted that, she wanted his essence to burn into the flesh of her ribcage, chest, cheek, any spot that touched him. She wanted to remember him all the better, memorizing the way he touched her, spoke against her skin, and laid next her, so she could think of him when the days ran headlong into nights and she couldn't see him anymore.

He was leaving soon.

She'd been feeling that brunt of pain all week, the thick collection of that ache like lead in her stomach.

"I want to go to college first, have a career," he told her as his fingers traveled from her hand, up her arms, into her hair and back again. "I want everything to be perfect before I marry you."

"If I let you marry me," she said flippantly, recanting her first suggestion as she rose on one arm to look down on him, a grin firmly in place.

"If you let me," he echoed with a brief nod of humorous sentiment. She slid down onto his chest and her Cheshire cat smile fell from her face and her fingers slid into his rumpled hair, feeling the slick treatment he used.

"It's hard to know you're leaving. I wouldn't care if you stayed right next to me, right here, and never went to college. You're a good man, JJ, and a lot of people aren't, you're a better person than anyone and that's the most important thing." She sighed miserably as she continued, tilting her head. "But you DO care, so I care too . . . I'm going to miss you."

He gathered a handful of her dark, messy tresses to gather and flow between his fingers like so many times before. He concentrated on the soft touch of it and he watched the color contrast against his skin, it was a beautiful shade that matched the enigmatic eyes he loved so much.

"You'll see me. You can drive up for every game, and I'll be home for holidays, and phone calls, and letters. Do you really think *I* could stay away from *you*?"

"It's not enough," she hushed pitifully, rubbing his chest in short strokes.

"It'll never be enough. We're always around each other now and that's not enough."

She laughed softly and buried the bottom half of her face in her arm. "You're right."

His eyes looked left, to the tiny clock at Roxanne's bedside in her empty home. It was late, or maybe it was early. It wasn't until their relationship began that Roxanne didn't resent the late shifts her mother took on. The hands of the timepiece glinted faintly in the dim light of the moon that still shone - it was time to go. Four-thirty, enough time to dress and say goodbye to his family.

"We better leave."

When she looked at him she was crying and he pulled her closer. Wrapping his arms around her in a comforting cocoon as he brought her to lay next to him and have a few more moments together in her dark. He was so busy trying to comfort her he barely noticed the sickening ache in his own stomach . . . he was going to miss her.

**

They approached the house slowly, stopping as JJ spied his father already stepping outside. When Jack saw Roxanne he gave a restrained nod and headed toward his son. She ran a self-conscious hand through her hair to make certain it was in place. She knew JJ had said he was spending one last night with 'the boys' before picking Roxanne up for an early morning goodbye.

Jack was opposed to the relationship; worried when it was new that JJ would be too involved in the sweet beginning filled with good harmony. Later, he worried when the new wore off and it was obvious their feelings were stronger, he worried the most on the family vacation when they came in the cabin after sneaking out hours before, disheveled and rumpled.

That was the night they lost their virginity, and they were sent to their separate places to sleep with a suspicious eye. When they woke the next morning not another word was spoken about it, but from bits of things that JJ gleaned from ensuing conversations between his parents, his father was worried and his mother chastised him for being silly. It was that Rox was so young, he had said, and JJ could be so attached - Helen argued that was exactly the reason nothing happened. The two of them knew the consequences and how short their time was before JJ would be gone. If they did, they never considered it, just appreciated what they had.

Afterwards, JJ and Rox found it wise never to mention the trip again and avoided alluding to times when Jack would know they'd be alone - save the understandably evident dates out.

"Ready?" Jack asked, clapping his son's shoulder. He was proud, and it poured from him, his evasive attitude toward Roxanne even dissolved then when he emotionally congratulated his son.

"Almost," JJ answered, feeling his own pride at his father's joy. He always knew he was going to go to college, and that he was going to play ball. It was a priority instilled in him by a hopeful father. No, perhaps Jack never had hope, he simply *knew* it would happen.

"Let's get those boxes together then."

At his father's request JJ linked hands with Roxanne, bringing her with him. When they met the warm interior Rox gently tugged her hand away, and at JJ's questioning look she just nodded him on while she stayed in the kitchen. She wanted to go with him, but seeing him pack away his life in so many cardboard boxes and prepare to leave made the lead in her stomach seem heavier.

Helen came to her side and both of them smiled gently at one another, sharing a common moment of stress on a joyous occasion. The older woman patted her shoulder and led her over to the table with a waiting cup of tea. Meg came down to her own cup and when she saw Roxanne her expression fell even more so with the open reminder that her brother was here only to pack and go again.

They sipped their drinks as the two oldest Pryor men came through the kitchen. Helen looked at both of the young women seated with her and took in their morose expressions before setting her cup down.

"It's silly of us to be so sad, isn't it? This is something wonderful," Helen encouraged through a partially put on smile. Her first baby was leaving, and although he was old enough, it felt like yesterday when he was tugging on her skirt, begging her to make pudding.

Joyous. Meg and Roxanne tried to remind themselves of that fact as they cupped their tea. Patty and Will joined them when it seemed like the last of JJ's things were being brought down. Will's loss was written across his face and he stuck close to Patty as they all made their way outside.

They lined up in front of JJ and Jack, who was looking on as his son slid the last of the containers inside the car. They spoke softly and Jack clapped his son's back again before his eyes strayed over to the group before him. He approached with a gentle quirk of his lips. Patty groused about the weather and JJ lightly informed her of how much she was going to miss him.

Her sarcastic responses dried up on her tongue when he gave her his jacket. She hugged it around her and her face brightened more than when she won first prize at her last winning spelling bee. It felt special to have the East Catholic red around her shoulders. Will still hadn't given even the slightest smile yet and JJ crouched down to his level. His pudgy face looked on sorrowfully, he'd already been treated to one night without his roommate, and with so many more to come, he wasn't remotely eager about having the room to himself. There was an ultimate security wrapped into the room that rarely seemed cramped, JJ was big and brave . . . and his protector. When JJ mentioned that the space was now solely Will's it dragged to light what he was going to be missing now. Even promises of comics did little to lift his spirits.

Meg was already tearing when he came to her. He quoted 'The Wizard of Oz' to make her smile and she complied. Why did college seem so far away? The tears didn't stop, but her eyes brightened a little at his efforts. His mother didn't fair much better. She was proud of him, going on to the next step in life, making his way in the world. But such words are hard for a mother to take to heart when her first child leaves, and now was no different.

Finally, Roxanne stood quietly. Crying had made her eyes shine so brightly that they were beautiful in that bittersweet way. He took her hand and led her away slightly, leaning in to kiss her cheek. She closed her eyes at the pressure on her skin and JJ tasted the watery tracks there.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear as he cupped her cheek.

"I love you."

"I'll see you soon. We'll be together before you know it."

She nodded, closing her eyes and then looking to his. "Just a bump in the road."

"I've got to do this if I'm going to marry you, right?" he joked gently.

"The offer still stands," she returned with a smile. Seeing her brighten made him feel better, his eyes fell to her lips and then his mouth followed suit. He kissed her softly, a soft goodbye and a nod to the more passionate, heated kisses they'd shared in the hours before.

"Remember the good stuff."

He stepped away, holding her hand a moment longer before the link broke and he met the car. He waved a farewell and got inside, letting himself give in to the excitement he felt. In the passenger seat he felt it mix with the trepidation, sinking into him with the ache that was there earlier. The car roared to life and he leaned out, waving once more, as they drove off. When he pulled himself in there was just enough time to catch a glimpse of everyone in the rearview mirror.

He focused on Roxanne at the very end and tried to keep the image perfect in his mind.

Behind the disappearing car, Meg reached out to grasp her best friend's hand in comfort. She got a grateful, watery smile in return and they both headed inside. They hadn't been hanging out much anymore, since JJ and Rox had become a couple and Meg had been steadily gravitating to another group until it had ended badly in a misunderstanding, but they needed each other now.

Rox looked in the distance. She needed a cigarette and she needed one now.

Remember the good times . . .

She could always remember Christmas . . .

**

December 24

10:07 PM

"Hi."

JJ looked up in surprise, "Hi."

They were paused on the sidewalk, the snow was falling again, frosting the air and making their breath come out in great plumes of vapor. Their hands were stuffed in their pockets, and though JJ didn't move, Roxanne shifted a little as the cold air caressed her legs.

"I . . . I was looking for you," Rox confessed, awkward in her reveal. It *was* awkward, it wasn't as if she normally milled around in the winter, doors down from the Pryor's so they wouldn't know she was there while she waited for their son to get home from wherever he was. She was embarrassed, and she didn't know what to do about the anger and hurt she felt because her mother had to work tonight - maybe she was embarrassed *because* she didn't know what to do. She needed someone who would be honest, but not harsh . . .

"Why?" JJ asked, his brow furrowing slightly. She shuffled her feet, looking down at them with a smile that was almost embarrassed before laughing into the cold.

"Because you're the nicest person I know."

He didn't know how to respond so he laughed a little from the side. "Thanks. Do you have a moral dilemma?"

He meant it as a joke, but . . .

"Everyday," she answered plainly. "But you can help me with this one now."

"Come on, I'll drive you home."

It was an open invitation and she took it, walking astride him in the cold air to the passenger door. He opened it kindly and she greeted the interior with a slight sigh of relief. It was still moderately warm from when he'd exited moments before and she was freezing after waiting close to fifteen minutes. He came round and climbed inside himself, starting up the car.

After a slight pause, he backed out and they were heading down the street. Rox looked over, burrowed a little deeper in her coat, and spoke. "I'm going to be alone tonight."

He didn't respond, just let the minute's stretch until she picked it up again.

"I wouldn't normally just blurt that out," she sighed. "You know that, but . . . That's part of the problem. My mother is working late and . . . every year we're supposed to get really dressed up and have this great dinner. It hasn't happened yet . . . I even lied about it to Michael."

"The Bandstand guy?" JJ clarified, remembering his sister's mentions.

"Yeah," Roxanne said absently. "I lied during the holiday, or maybe I implied. Either way I hope it doesn't count as a sin."

JJ smiled and took a turn as she went on.

"So, feeling like the worst person - and feeling like I had the right to be the worst person - I need an outsider's opinion. Meg has her own problems with Luke," Roxanne continued as JJ nodded. He knew of his little sister's crushes even if she didn't tell, it was always written on her face. "I was going to go to see Michael again, but . . . I tried to think of the most good hearted person that I know and . . . that's you."

JJ glanced over and shook his head. "I'm not that good, Rox."

She looked over at his with humor in her features. "You're an angel, JJ."

He laughed and gripped the wheel as the snow fell against the headlights. She chattered on and on, even after they'd pulled up to the building, after he opened her door, and all the way until they stood of her front stoop and she was still speaking in great puffs of foggy air. She stepped up on the first stone slab and turned to look at JJ.

"I miss her, a lot. Sometimes, though, it feels like she doesn't even think of me, but if that was true she wouldn't be working on Christmas just to support me . . ." She looked up, the creeping thought that he should be elsewhere came to mind. A tinge could have covered her cheeks, but they were already pink from the cold and couldn't revel anything. "I'm sorry for keeping you from your family."

"It's okay. After all, what good am I if I'm not a roving problem solver?" he grinned.

She laughed softly. "So what do I do?

"I listened to you all this time. I think you know. Family's important, Rox."

She nodded quietly. "There's my answer?"

"It's the best I can do. I can probably come up with something else if you want," he humored with a red smile.

She shook her head. "No. It's perfect. Thanks . . . JJ . . . You know I don't think you're just a roving problem solver, right?"

"I know," he assured her taking her icy hand that had come out of her pocket and was hanging at her side. The corner of her mouth lifted and she leaned in.

"Thanks, JJ."

She kissed him then, light and friendly on his cheek, feeling the cold skin on her equally cooled mouth. When she pulled back, everything had changed. She wasn't quite sure what had happened, but she hadn't pulled away far enough, and his breath was fanning across her face. It took her a moment to realize she was doing the same and his eyes had focused on her so intensely she felt flush.

How could everything click - just like that? How could . . .

She took a chance, like she so often did. She leaned in and kissed his mouth, hardly a drop of pressure exerting itself until Rox knew he wouldn't pull away. It intensified then and suddenly she wasn't so cold anymore, the heat from his mouth warming lips and upping her temperature. At the last moment, she felt the wet warmth of his tongue sweep across her the bottom of her mouth before she pulled away.

JJ's mind raced, thoughts went through at breakneck speed: Beth, and Colleen. Colleen who he'd seen an hour ago, who he didn't want to kiss like this because he was thinking of Beth. He didn't think about her now. All thoughts faded at Rox's dilated gaze on his and the question of how his hands had come to tangle in her hair was still a mystery.

He pulled back and cleared his throat, trying to focus on not slipping on the slightly icy sidewalk.

It was the beginning of it all.

**

JJ smiled at the memory as he looked up at the ceiling of his dorm.

Football practice had been tough, but no tougher that he'd anticipated. It was the dull ache in his ankle that bothered him, slight at first, but he'd run on it all summer with no repercussions. He didn't want to worry about it, and thinking of Roxanne helped that.

"Oh. There's no way you could get someone like this," Allegheny announced, snapping the photograph off of the wall. He wasn't an easy person to like, Allegheny, and they'd crossed paths before - East Catholic had been crushed under the opposing team. JJ sat up and looked across to his other - far less annoying - roommate trying to get a look.

From the picture, he and Roxanne smiled up from the comfortable position reclining in the sand with her back against his chest. They'd taken it the during the last vacation at the beach, that night they'd snuck away and slipped into the boathouse among the tarps and the old beaten vessels that couldn't be used anymore. He blinked away the vision, not wanting to think about it just then with his roommates milling around.

"Hey. I know this girl . Yeah, yeah, from 'Bandstand.' I saw her dancing on there." He flicked the picture up to show his point and both his bunkmates shared a laugh.

"She's on there with my sister, Meg," JJ said, snapping the picture away when he got close.

"There are those Pryor reflexes," a voice provided as Allegheny leaned on the bunk.

"You're sister is Meg? I've seen her too," he smirked obnoxiously. JJ ignored the obvious attempt to rile him and returned the picture to it's rightful spot. "Unbelievable. Only you'd have that luck Pryor, on and off the field."

"The field has nothing to do with luck," JJ said. "That's hard work."

"And the girl?"

". . . I did have luck there."

**

She rolled over, her limbs heavy and craving sleep. It was her mind that wouldn't calm down. She'd talked to JJ yesterday, but she felt sick with the summer humidity and the distance between them. Her mother had been home for dinner tonight and had looked at her, silently fretting over peas and bread.

Eventually Roxanne broke first and asked what was the matter. Her mother had laid it out plainly.

JJ.

Her lovesick daughter slunk around the house and only smiled when she was on television. It worried her and she had no trouble telling Rox that. She could still hear her mother's firm statement echoing in her ears . . .

'It was all right at first, but you two are becoming too close now. He's just a boy, Roxanne. A boy that isn't even here any more, and if you're smart you'll get over him sooner rather than later - before you wait for phone calls that never come.'

Rox shifted, the fabric of her gown uncomfortable against her sweat-damp skin.

The phone calls did come. Her mother was wrong. She loved JJ, and he told her the same . . .

Memories of her parents' marriage ran through her mind. They hadn't loved each other, Roxanne was sure of that. In fact, she was almost certain they'd only stayed together because her mother got pregnant. All their torn relationship resulted in was her birth, years of arguing, the loss of her father, and the embittered platitudes of her mother.

She shook away the depressing thoughts and turned in her bed, hugging the cooler side of a pillow and closing her eyes tightly. She'd worry about everything later, now she would try to sleep, and think of better things . . . and people her mother wouldn't approve of.

**

He crumpled up a shirt and stuffed it into a small corner of the suitcase. It was finished, his career, his education . . . he hadn't even called home yet. It was the shame that dug deep, it made him into a coward, shunning the telephone and resisting the urge to put together a gentle way to deliver the news. He didn't want to deliver the news. He wasn't going to college; his father would have to accept that.

Maybe he was unrealistic, but everything seemed to crack around him, the façade failing just like his bum ankle.

"Pryor."

He turned to see one of his . . . former teammates, Ryan, standing in the doorway. He looked away, back to his bag. "Yeah?"

"The, uh, coach wants to see you," Ryan said. Another sad look, another regrettable apology, the Coach would probably even pat him on the shoulder and say he wished it that things would have gone another way.

JJ could see it now, and it still wouldn't be the last sorry looked he'd received at his failure.

But it was probably the last one he could take.

**

He spoke on the phone quietly, his tone lighter than she was used to.

"I know I said all that stuff, but . . ."

"Are you sure?" Roxanne asked. Her tongue was thick in her mouth with a ready answer she wanted to spit out, but she had to hold back, after everything he said . . .

"I love you, and we've talked about it a couple times. You always said . . ." It almost twisted his heart to say the next words. His father would be so disappointed. "You always said you didn't care if I went to college."

And she didn't, not like Beth who constantly spoke of it, or like anyone else around him who drove him on. He didn't resent the pressure people like his father brought on him, often he thrived on it, but it always felt good to be accepted for just himself. Not his 'potential.'

He felt a little lost now, everything was slipping away and the only thing that made anything better was the thought of Roxanne. He couldn't even select the phone number to a home he'd lived all his life in without a wash of shame coming over him, but he could slide his fingertips over and pick her digits out instinctively. This had to be right.

"Marry me, Roxanne."

She felt giddy and conflicted at once, but her cheeks grew red and her smile blossomed. Biting her lip didn't prevent the answer from finally finding it's freedom and when she spoke it was sharp and loud.

"Yes!"

He smiled in relief, leaning his head against the pay phone and sending up silent thanks that she was willing to have him.

.