Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Sorry if it's confusing.


It's dark all the time now. I haven't seen the sun for forever.

Recently, I have to keep everything in lists just so I can tell if I'm delusional or not.

1. My name is Katniss.

2. It's all my fault.

But this is as far as I ever get.

"You filthy girl. Look at you! Living when you should be dead. That's why your sister died, you know. She hated looking at a killer everyday so she went and blew herself up!" My mother tells me. She's right.

"Sweetheart?" A man walks down the decrepit stairs to the mostly blown up cellar that I'm cowering in. He looks around as if to find me. His eyes skim past the pile of wood and stone I have made a fort out of. I dig through my mind to remember his name.

"Haymitch?" His head swivels towards where I am sitting and his face contorts from one of worry to one of anger.

"Damn it, Katniss! Why do you run off? You're going to get yourself put away if you don't start listening to me."

My mother cackles. "See what a horrible person you are? Causing all this trouble for everyone. You are nothing but a nuisance."

Haymitch takes me back to my home. Sometimes he'll stay with me for awhile but this time he excuses himself saying he has to work on something.

As the door closes behind him I grab my jacket and work basket from the table in the kitchen and I leave through the back door.

Inside the basket are 24 clay sculptures of some sort of wolf with vicious teeth and all are about three inches tall and nine inches long. On my bad days I remember why I make them but today I can't. I place them all carefully down in the yard surrounding my house making sure they won't fall over. There are already so many figurines I can't walk normally without crushing one so I walk one my tip toes.

I here angry voices drifting over from an open window in Haymitch's house. I sneak over to the window and crouch below it.

I can't make out much but it sounds like he's pleading with someone over the phone. I catch the words "I can't handle her anymore... She's out of control!".

I wonder if he's talking about me.

I wonder who he's talking to.

I stand up slowly too scared for haste. Then my instincts kick in.

I back away quickly and turn to make a run for it. The smell of roses is heavy in the air. I fall onto a sharp hard rock. My breath rushes out of my lungs.

And in sudden clarity I realize. Snow is coming for me.

Air fills my lungs again. A breif moment of relief from terror. At least I wont suffocate.

Monsters are surrounding me. Big, ugly wolf mutts sniff at me and tease their long teeth on my skin. Torturing me with fear.

They want vengeance. They are not going to kill me quickly. Tears leak from my eyes.

The one closest to my face locks eyes with me. Rue.

My sobs become uncontrollable.

Rue's eyes are full of hatred. She whispers in my ear, "You should have saved me."Her sharp fangs tear through my skin.

I scream.

A stream of profanities come from Haymitch's open window.

The other mutts take Rue's lead and tear into my skin. My whole world is pain. All my other senses are drowned out by this tear and snap and rip of skin and bone and muscle.

"Katniss! It's alright. It's not real. Please, please. Calm down."

Rue buries her teeth into my chest and rips out my heart.

A needle pricks my skin. Arms lift me up. A door closes and I recognize the harsh smell of Haymitch's home surronding me. I can hear the mutts outside fighting over my heart.

I am laid down and course hands cover me with a soft blanket.

The last thing I am aware of is Haymitch's voice.

"Are you still there? You need to come... Yes, she's fine... No. I'm not sure... Will you just shut up and let me talk for once? I know I said I could handle this while you were away but she needs to see you... No. I can't call anyone else... God damn it, Gale! Katniss needs you! Isn't that enough?... Good. I'll see you in two days."

A phone is hung up.


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