The idea was to write one situation for each month of the year - during a period of 1 year - involving Catherine and Sara. I can't really say this idea came from me because it would be a lie but I did send the author a note to ask if i could give it a try :)

Spoilers from the episode "Crash and Burn", season three.
Csi characters are not mine, i just borrowed them for fun.

*

Sara entered the car and let her head fall on the seat. How could she be so stupid? How could she believe that Hank actually liked her and wanted to be with her, when in fact he was only using her? Of course Sara knew where her heart belongs but she really thought she could have fun and maybe forget her impossible love. What an idiot!

Sara noticed a small framed photograph of Elaine, one of the women that got hurt in the case she was working on with Catherine and Warrick - an elderly woman who drove her car through the window of a bar crowded with people - and Hank, Sara's actual boyfriend, on the table in the middle of the living room.

Sara picked up the frame and it was clear that the two people weren't merely friends.

Elaine looks at the picture as smiles at Sara. "My boyfriend" she chuckles "I saved up my miles and took him to Hawaii last year. He's going to take me to Tahiti in a few weeks" she said with a full smile.

Trying not to sound so hurt about this Sara smiled. "Thank you. Um, I-I have to get back to the lab. Um, maybe you could call me". Elaine nodded and watched Sara leave in confusion.

But worse then knowing that Hank was using her was that did a completely full of herself in front of Catherine. The blonde noticed something was wrong just by looking at the screen. Catherine would probable thinking very low about her, something that Sara always tried to prevent from happening.

Sara signed and turned on the engineer. She didn't want to face Catherine after acting like a morrow but she knew she had to. She had a case to solve, a job she loves and is good at it, and the woman she is madly in love with working there. Be without Catherine would be worse then everything else.

Sara walked on the room and Catherine looked at her, asking how everything was. The brunette knew it was useless to pretend that everything was ok to Catherine. the blonde is to good at reading people and has a lot of experience in the dating things, two things that Sara isn't, but at the same time Sara didn't want to talk about it, especially now. So she responded the minimum Catherine needed to know.

They continue working together, without talking about what really happened in Elaine's house, though Catherine had a few ideas about how everything went. It actually hurt her that Sara didn't trust in her enough to talk about this. She liked Sara, more then the brunette thought she did and she, of all people, knew how bad it feels to be cheated. She has been there more then once.

Catherine and Sara exited the interrogation room after talking with Corey, the grandson of the primary victim.

It turns out that Diane Lambert – the old lady - had glaucoma, and knowing that she couldn't file an appeal in order to receive her treatment, since the institute hadn't officially denied her claim, Miss Lambert provoked the car accident and by doing that leaving an amount of money for her grandson, who would receive it from the life insurance policy. Unfortunately, Corey won't see any money because the insurance policy doesn't apply in cases of suicide.

"I feel bad for the boy. He really loved his grandmother and didn't care about the money at all." said Catherine, feeling completely drained by this case and her own feelings for Sara. Sara looked at her and nodded before she noticed Hank in the hallway, probably waiting for her. Catherine notice too and looked at her with a smile "I'll meet you at the car" She walks down the hallway and Hank turns to talk to Sara.

"I called the lab. They said you were here" he says uncomfortably "I heard you met Elaine" he swallows.

"Yeah, she's really something" she says forcing a smile. "I didn't tell her about us, if that's what you're wondering". She thought about giving him some slack but the last part of her sentence made him know how hurt she was.

"I'm really sorry, Sara"

"Yeah me too" she says looking to the floor.

"I don't know what else to say".

"How about I'll see you around?" Sara walked out of the police department and to the car without waiting for an answer without looking back. What a situation! She climbed inside the vehicle and put the seatbelt on.

"You got plans?" the blonde asks not wanting to leave Sara alone in a hard time like this.

"Nope" Sara answered

"You want to get a beer?" Sara turned to look at Catherine and the blonde smiled at her. They were both tired, but apparently the blonde really wanted to be there for Sara. Sara turned and looked straight ahead, a little smirk appearing on her face.

"Drive"

Catherine drove them to a pub that Catherine often frequents. And to Sara's amusement, it was a gay club.

"I hope this place is ok. I thought you wouldn't want to see men in front of you right now" she says unlocking the seatbelt and looking at Sara.

"Well, I would be a total hypocrite if I said I don't like places like this" the brunette says getting out of the car. Catherine stared at her, completely stunned.

"Did she just say…" her thoughts are interrupted by Sara's voice.

"Aren't you coming?" she asks with a full gap toothed smile.

"She seems a lot better and not like a girl who just broke up with her boyfriend minutes ago" Catherine thinks as she's stepping out of the car. They entered the bar and soon founded empty spots close to the bar.

"What can I get you two ladies?" asks the girl behind the bar.

"Two beers and some peanuts"

"Peanuts?" asks Sara finding that quite amusing.

"What? I don't like to drink on an empty stomach. Do you?"

"No, but to me it wouldn't be the first time, really"

"Do you drink a lot?" the blonde asks sitting on the bench.

"I'm not an alcoholic if that's what you are asking" she answers defensively, resting both arms on the bar.

"No, no, I didn't say you were" says Catherine, trying not to mess things up between them. "I was just trying to start a conversation, I'm sorry" Sara looked at her surprised. It turns out that Catherine had never apologized to her before, especially so fast.

"I know when it is time for me to stop drinking, but I definitely enjoy a cold beer" she says smiling to the blonde. Catherine smiles back and nods. "Tell me, why are you being so nice to me?"

"Can't I be nice to you?"

"You can, and I like being here, I was just wondering what the actual reasons were. I hope pity isn't one of them" she says laughing nervously.

"In part it is" Catherine says with a sorry smile. Sara, who was hoping Catherine wouldn't say that let her face fall and nods in understanding. "I'm really sorry about what happened. Hank is an asshole for cheating on you"

"He was cheating on her, not me" Sara says seriously.

"Still, he was using you and that is something no one should do with another person. Besides, I know how it is to find out that the person you like has another woman"

"Eddie?"

"'A pregnant woman doesn't have flexibility' he said. And he was right"

"But that doesn't give him the right to cheat on you" answered Sara angry. That bastard! He should never hurt Catherine, ever!

"I know" Sara looked at her drink and then at the wall.

For a while they just drink in silence until Sara finds the courage to speak again "I would be lying if I said that Hank was the first man to do something like that to me" she whispers. Catherine looks at her surprised at her honesty.

"Who else did that to you? Grissom?"

"No!" Sara answered laughing. "I have never been with Grissom romantically and I doubt he would have the courage to do that to any woman"

Catherine laughs at her stupid question "Yeah, you are probably right"

"I like when you laugh" Sara confesses. The comment was so unexpected that Catherine stopped laughing right away and looked at Sara, blinking in confusion. "Your face gets all shinning and you show your beautiful smile, it is cute" she completes, blushing in the end.

"I like when you laugh too" Sara looked at her like saying 'yeah, right'. "I do. Now tell me, who is it then?" Sara takes a long sip from her drink before putting it back on the bar. She knew Catherine would ask that.

"I have been honest with her so I probable should answer that one. I just hope she doesn't leave me her after knowing this. Ok, here it goes. And God help me"

"My father" she says looking at Catherine. The blonde's eyes and mouth open in shock. Sara smiles shortly and stares at the glass. "He… raped me when I was a kid, more then once and well, that's a lot worse than Hank using me" The knowledge that Sara's father assaulted her in this brutal way left Catherine speechless. Of course she knew something bad had happened in Sara's past because she would always get emotional in certain cases, but she thought Sara's mother was abused, not her.

"I have to say, I'm impressed that I actually answered your question" the brunette says smiling and resting her back on the bar.

Catherine knows she is uncomfortable but at least she is still here. "Why do you say that?"

"I don't speak about my father with anyone, not even my partners. It's not something people like to know about and it surely isn't something I like to remember".

"I understand. So why are you telling me now?"

"I don't really know. I guess you made me trust you by asking me to come here and for not saying 'I told you so' about Hank, though I know you really want to..."

"I would never say 'I told you so'" Sara started laughing and Catherine looked at her confused.

"You just did" Catherine put a hand on her mouth and started laughing as well. "I'm sorry. I can't believe I let myself fall for that one"

"Welcome to the club" Said Sara smiling her gap toothed smile. For a brief second, Catherine couldn't take her eyes off of the brunette's lips, like she was trying very hard not to kiss Sara. The blonde smiled shyly and looked back at her drink. Sara notice everything and her hands touch the blonde's back slowly, making the blonde shiver and a smile appear on her face. Maybe she still had a chance with the blonde.

"So, how's Lindsey? Sara asks trying to re-start the conversation. "Does she still have problems in school?"

"She is doing better. But I have to say, I never thought she could fight with someone" Sara nodded, understanding.

For almost one hour, the girls talked about Lindsey, movies, bands, what kind of places they want to travel to, everything that crossed their mind at the time. And it was great. Both of them were very relaxed and smiling most of the time.

"I can't believe we've never done something like this" Sara says at some point.

"You mean talking?"

"Yeah, I always wanted us to at least be friends but well, things didn't work out so great"

"I know, and a huge part of that is my fault, I… didn't want you to get too close"

"Can I ask why?" Sara asks feeling hurt by the blonde's words and looking at nowhere but at the blonde.

"Well, I always like to be in control of my emotions, my temper, and with you… with you I don't have any control at all. You are the only one who can get under my skin, Sara, by doing absolutely nothing, and that's not something I'm used to feeling"

"I understand"

"But I like you, Sara, more then you think, and I would really like it if we became girlfriends. Or like you said, to at least be friends" When Catherine's words registered in Sara's mind it made the brunette look at Catherine with a big smile on her face. Catherine couldn't believe she had actually said that and today of all days.

"So you…" she tries to speak but the feeling that maybe she does have a chance with the blonde doesn't let her think properly. Catherine blushed and nodded. "Then why…"

"It's safer to be with guys, because I know I won't fall in love with them"

"But Eddie…"

"I liked him. He opened my eyes to dancing and we had a lot of fun but that was it, a lot of fun" Sara nodded understanding. "If you didn't like hank why'd you date him?"

"I needed someone to make me feel wanted, even for a while. I was tired of being alone and I thought the one I wanted wasn't available"

"So you…" Catherine imitated Sara's question. Sara looked at her and did just like Catherine, blush and nod. "I never thought you would like me, especially after all the shit I pull you through"

"I would never pick a fight with you Catherine if I didn't care about you or what you had to say to me and about me. I would just ignore you, simple as that" Catherine thought about that for a while and nodded in agreement. She would have done the same thing if she didn't care or liked Sara so much. "But I can't, I like you too much and there is nothing I can do to make me stop liking you"

"Yeah, me too"

"I would like myself if I were you too" says Sara laughing. Catherine was about to make a remark on Sara because she hated when the brunette gave her a smart ass attitude but stopped when she saw the genuine smile on Sara's face and something in her eyes, love and caring.

"Maybe we can play without wanting to take each other heads of" Catherine though to herself before relaxing and laughing as well.

"That was very good, Sidle. Very good indeed" Sara smiled and planted a quick kiss on Catherine's cheeks.

"Can you take me to lab so I can get my car? I really need some rest right now"

"Sure. I'm surprised that you didn't ask that before"

"What can I say, I love your company"

Catherine face blushed like a tomato and she paid off for the drinks and peanuts, after all, she was the one who invited.

"Thank you, for everything" the brunette says after getting out of the car and stopping in front of Catherine's window.

"You're welcome" says the blonde smiling. "See you later" Sara nodded but before the blonde could leave Sara planted a kiss on the corner of Catherine's lips. Catherine was about to turn and get a real kiss when Sara stepped away.

"Good night" the brunette said going to her car. She was feeling surpresily happy at that moment. She had lost a boyfriend but she won, not only a chance to talk to Catherine and to show a little of her real feelings, but the known that Catherine liked her back. Maybe now things would turn out ok for them.

Catherine watched the brunette with a smile. She wasn't actually angry, she was feeling… thrilled by the kiss and the possibilities that were created after something so bad happen. But the next time she wasn't going to let Sara step away before she repeated the gesture and kiss her too.

tbc