Birthday Surprises

"Babcock, I am home!" Niles announced as he kicked the door open, taking care not to drop the many grocery bags he was carrying with him. His wife always complained about him not making more than one trip to bring the groceries inside, but he'd be damned if it took him multiple trips – it was not a matter of being a sloth, as his wife had merrily said more times than he could count, it was a matter of pride.

He barely got to the kitchen, only leaving a fallen can of tuna behind; good, as usual, he needn't go to the car again. Before beginning putting the groceries away, however, he quickly hid the little Tiffany bag he'd bought – after all, he didn't want C.C. to find her birthday gift before the grand day had arrived! Niles had it all planned; he was taking her out for lunch with the Sheffields, then they'd go to the beach and, finally, they'd have their own private 'celebration' at night. As she was nearing her due date, he had made sure not to go overboard with his plans – after all, even C.C. Babcock couldn't handle too much excitement while being eight months pregnant – and the icing of the cake was the wonderful engraved ring he had bought her. It was a simple diamond solitaire set in red gold with their child's name – Elizabeth – engraved in it. Their anniversary had been a month ago, but Niles had wanted to wait until her birthday to buy her the ring (not to mention that he had made her a wonderful homemade anniversary gift – a photo album of them – and had also organised for her to spend a day at the best spa of Los Angeles).

Once the gift had been hidden, he went back to the kitchen, where he expected to find his wife, going over his purchases – most probably searching for the Ben & Jerry's she had asked for. You can imagine his surprise when the only creature he found there was Chester, who was sticking his head inside one of the grocery shops, sniffing for something tasty that he could steal and take to his little dog house.

The butler frowned. He hadn't heard from his wife since he had gotten home – the last time he had seen her being when she locked herself inside her office to go over some contracts. Thinking back, he didn't even remember her answering him when he'd announced he was going grocery shopping!

He quickly picked the few shopping bags he had left on the kitchen floor and dashed to her study. He wasn't exactly worried, but knowing his wife, better be safe than sorry. Luckily, her office was a few meters away from the kitchen, and he began to relax when – as he neared the study – he began to hear C.C.'s delighted laugh coming from inside it. Now being curious rather than worried, he knocked on the door and opened it, wondering what could possibly be so funny for his wife to be laughing like she was!

"Babcock? What on Earth is going on?!" Niles couldn't help but to chuckle at the sight of his wife sprawled over the sofa, holding a piece of paper in her hands as she wicked away the few tears that had pricked in the corners of her eyes as a consequence of her fit of laughter. What made it even better, however, was the fact she was wearing the 'bun in the oven' t-shirt Fran had gifted her and the bunny slippers his mother gave her last Christmas, making the sight before him incredibly domestic.

As soon as his wife acknowledged his presence, her laughter intensified and she started clapping in glee, struggling to even breathe properly. "You… Nanny Fine… this is too good!"

"Have you gone crackers again?" he crossed the room and sat next to her, feeling his own laughter bubbling up inside him. "You do know pregnant women can't imbibe, don't you?"

"I haven't been drinking, Hazel," she playfully swatted at his arm, slowly winning the battle to stop laughing. "You know I've been in the dry club since you impregnated me with your little servant spawn."

"Ah, it's nice to know I managed to piss you off by getting you pregnant! It's a wonderful added to this whole marriage-and-impending-parenthood thing," he teased, draping an arm around her shoulders and stamping a kiss on her cheek. "Now, would you be so kind to tell me what were you laughing about?"

"You'd like to know, wouldn't you, Captain of the Starship Yentaprise?" the blonde smiled in such a way it would've put the Cheshire cat to shame. "I am not saying a word until I don't have that Ben & Jerry's"

He scoffed and stood up, ready to head out for the kitchen. He knew her game, and he was not about to give in. "As a matter of fact, I wouldn't, Babcock. If you want that ice cream you are gonna have to give me your secret."

His wife shrugged and stretched on the sofa, her satisfied grin sill not leaving her features. "Suit yourself! I'll gladly keep Nanny Fine's real age to myself then."

And it was immediate. Niles stopped dead in his tracks and slowly faced his wife, his mouth hanging wide open. She was bluffing! She had to be bluffing! In seven years of knowing Fran Sheffield he had never been able to discover her precious secret. Try as he might, he had never found any type of ID that detailed her age – and he had certainly searched for it! The former nanny was extremely careful not to give away her secret, much less to Babcock of all people!

"You can't be-"

"Oh, yes! I am serious, Butler Boy!" she cut him off, waving the little paper she had been holding before his face. "And I owe it all to my business partner! He thought he'd handed me a few contracts, but in turn he unknowingly gave me the envelope in which he keeps his marriage license and a few other important documents – including a copy of Fran's driver licence!"

Niles reached out to basically snatch the paper from his wife's hands, but she was too quick for him. " Uh-uh, Hazel! You want the info then I want my ice cream! And, come to think about it, I could also use a massage and a hot bath."

The butler groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "You are gonna milk this for all it's worth, aren't you?" it was more of a statement than a question.

"You bet I am. Now move it!"

He hesitated. There, in her hands, was the secret of secrets, and it came at the cost of being her slave for as long as she pleased… well, he had been her slave before! He could do it again, now couldn't he? Especially when he knew the reward would be so juicy! He was finally going to know how much younger Fran was than C.C. – judging by her delighted smile, he suspected the former nanny was either her same age or five years younger, at most.

"Fine, I'll be at your mercy, witch," he spun on his heels and left for the kitchen, devising what else he could do to please her enough so she'd give him the information he craved for.

The hours that followed were the best of C.C.'s life and the worst of Niles'. Just as he had expected, his wife didn't have mercy on him, and had forced him to do whichever little thing – no matter how humiliating or tiresome – that had come to her Machiavellian mind. He had given her three massages, gone out and rented her favourite movie, prepared her a bath, cooked her Mushroom Risotto and taken Chester not for one but three walks! But as night fell and she still hadn't caved in, he began to feel restless. Many times he had tried to peek at the paper, but his wife had it with her at all times – it was pointless, he knew so, but he had tried nonetheless.

"Are you ever going to tell me that bloody secret of yours?" I've been an obedient dog for hours now!" he complained, giving her his best pout.

The blonde seemed to ponder over his words, and to his immense relief she reached out for the little paper and folded it, her grin widening. "Well… I must say you've convinced me! You do deserve to know, so here you go," the producer handed him the paper, fighting back the urge to laugh.

Niles was almost afraid to move. That was it? She was finally giving it to him?! He had thought his wife would make it a thousand times harder… what dirty, unhanded and cruel trick did she have under her sleeve?

"Come on, take it, or I'll change my mind!" she waved the paper, cheerfully letting his trembling hand grasp it.

With barely contained anxiousness, the butler unfolded the paper and gazed at it. Just like his wife had said, it was a copy of Mrs. Sheffield's driver licence… but when his eyes reached her date of birth he actually felt he was about to faint…

Yes, there, written in clear dark ink was Fran's age…

The nanny had been born in 1957, making his wife four years younger than her.

"No…"

"YES!" C.C. squealed in delight, gloating on her triumph. "I AM YOUNGER THAN NANNY FINE! I AM FOUR YEARS YOUNGER THAN NANNY FINE!"

C.C. burst into a fit of laughter once again, revelling in his bewildered expression. So that was her final trick, Niles thought, the icing of the cake was taking away the possibility of him teasing her about her age. He stared between the paper and his wife in awe and heaved a sigh.

"You are devious," he eventually said, dropping the paper. He glanced at the clock – it read 12:05,"And Happy Birthday, by the way."

"It most certainly is, Butler Boy, it most certainly is."

"You were planning it all along, weren't you?" he asked, pulling his wife closer to him. She nodded. "Devious, devious woman!"

"Of course… but I am all yours! Who would have said it? You, Methuselah, have a younger wife than Maxwell Sheffield – you hit the jackpot with me, baby."

He smiled down at her and leaned in to kiss her, and she responded by pulling him to her as she started unbuttoning his shirt. Yes, he had certainly hit the jackpot, and he simply couldn't imagine his life being any different…

"I love you, Babcock, even if you took my treasured age zingers away."

"And I love you, Niles."

And words weren't needed any more. After all, they had more important things to worry about for the moment!


AN: So, this was a gift I made for my friend and writing buddy, TheCrownedLioness! The idea surged a few weeks ago during a writing session and I promised I'd make it for her birthday :) Happy Birthday sweetie! Have a great day 3 !

To the rest of you, I hope you enjoyed it!