I started to believe my friends and I would never see our Digimon again when - like usual Digimon style - they just appeared out of nowhere. Well, in my case Guilmon tackled me outside my house as I left for school. He had been hiding in his old garbage dump out the back, the silly boy. His yelp of excitement and the excruciating pain as I slammed into the ground was unmistakable.
I rolled onto my back with a groan.
"Guilmon?!" I gasped, not believing my eyes. It was impossible to mistake the Digimon for anyone else and yet it still wasn't registering in my head. It had been six months but still. All the adults in my life - not only my parents but my teacher - had tried the best they could to make me forget, so it seemed almost an insult that their efforts had been in vein. Yet that was definitely Guilmon. Shielding my eyes from the overcast Tokyo sun, I examined the big dinosaur from top to bottom. He looked as happy as he did at the very start, when he discovered I lived at a bakery.
"Takato! We came back just in time for school."
Yeah, that's not exactly good timing, boy.
I scratched my head, trying to recover from the pain in my side. "H-How did you get here, Guilmon?"
"The portal in the park opened again!" he exclaimed, tail wagging delighted.
I slowly got to my feet. My clothes were smudged by some dirt, but I tried not to let it bother me, "Really? What about the others?"
"They went back to their Tamers."
"Oh yeah, that makes sense."
Those passing by on the street stared at me but I smiled sheepishly in reply.
I was expecting my reaction to be stronger, but at that point I was shocked out of my wits. Not only that, I was in a hurry to catch a train. My watch wasn't in any way reassuring.
"I'm sorry, Guilmon!" I gave a small bow and picked my bag off the ground, "I really want to stay and catch up but I've got to go. I'll see you at home later, okay? Tell my parents you're here."
I didn't want to peer into my Digimon's eyes and see the same disappointment I had been suppressing for months, so I turned on my heel without looking back.
"See you, Takatomon."
It hurt, just like any other grief did. I was abandoning him after all. That wasn't great, but there wasn't much I could do.
Rika and Henry will be so excited! It'll just be like old times, except without all the crazy fighting. I hope so anyway.
It was at Rika's birthday party that I felt like I'd accepted my Digimon weren't going to suddenly vanish, but maybe it wouldn't be the happy ending I visualized in my head. By then, I realized there was more than just those feelings weighing on my mind.
Dear Jeri,
I don't know if you remember that time on the train when I brought you back to your Dad's house. You weren't acting yourself and after the events of the Chaos I am starting to think maybe you weren't there to begin with. I ended up crying in front of you from something I was speaking to you about.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, please come find me this lunchtime.
- Takato
"Well done, Takato." Henry congratulated me as I slipped the folded note into her locker, "It will be hard for her to get away from responding now."
"Y-Yeah," I noted uneasy, "I don't know why I'm still so nervous. It's been months and I said all I needed to say."
"Maybe you got too emotional?" Henry suggested.
"Probably." I sighed, wishing I didn't bawl like a baby on the train. I looked down to the big red dinosaur besides me, wondering if my reaction was normal. Obviously Henry had nothing to go off, so it wouldn't hurt to ask a Digimon. "I dunno, Guilmon. Have you ever liked a Digimon?"
It had been a few months since Rika's party, yet my old friend didn't seem to have learned anything about girls in the meantime.
"Liked?" Guilmon questioned, his tail wagging gently, "What does that mean?"
"URG!" I groaned, hitting my face with my palm, "It's like, um… I don't know how to explain."
I hoped Henry wouldn't jump in to add his thoughts, but he didn't seem to know how to answer the question either. Thank goodness.
I didn't want to fathom the idea of Digimon liking each other. Oh man, I would never be able to sleep if that happened! I'm bad enough with human girls, let alone animals or creatures from the other side. Perhaps I ought to ask a cat's opinion the next time I went through the park. Felines were meant to be smarter than dinosaurs, right?
It was the longest wait watching the big clock hand move to 12pm, and Jeri reach her locker. I spied on her through the crowd, Terrimon and Henry behind me.
"Do you think she'll see it?" I asked, worried.
"Don't be stupid, Takato, she has to!" Henry said, not easing my frustrations.
"Momentai, she's pretty dumb, maybe she'll mistake it for a drawing or something." Terrimon said from Henry's shoulder. The digital bunny got a hit on the head for that.
"Be quiet, would you?" Henry hissed.
I watched as Jeri put some books away, smiled at something on the locker wall, and pick up the note confused. I gulped. Her eyes squinted as she read it through, once, twice, and then three times. She placed the note back in her locker and her face turned red.
What on earth could have gone wrong? I thought incredulously. Her friends noticed, and Jeri hid it from Miki by slamming the locker door.
"Takato, you might want to move." Terriermon said with a poke.
"Ah, why?" I murmured, still too busy spacing out at the closed locker.
Terriermon tiny finger pointed in the distance. "She's coming your way."
So she was, pacing like a lion. I turned red and backed away a few paces, hiding behind another set of lockers.
"Oh god, you think she saw me?" I gawped in a panic, "Oh no, what do I do? Move, Guilmon!"
The dinosaur barely fit in the place he had chosen to hide, and at this point Henry and Terriermon had given up entirely.
"Chill and momentai." Terriermon whispered, and he jumped onto Henry's other shoulder. All the preparation was pointless for what was about to occur.
"Takato, I didn't think I'd see you so soon!" Jeri exclaimed, just as surprised as I was. "Hi Guilmon, Henry."
The was a collective response of 'Hi' from those had addressed.
"Soooo Jeri," I murmured, grinning sheepishly, "Nice weather today, huh?"
"Oh, yes, I don't usually notice the weather," Jeri smiled, "But I wanted to talk about your note, Takato, so this is perfect. We can go outside. Come with me."
We sat down on the seats far away from the handball courts and our other friends. Henry and Terriermon were eating on a bench close by, maybe making sure I didn't lose my head. Guilmon was playing soccer with Calumon on a field a yard away. The school kids liked the Digimon, but it wasn't considered such a taboo to bring them to school since they had learned to behave while we were in class. The Digimon became very familiar with the yard. Jeri sat opposite me, her eyes twinkling as though she knew something.
"So, what's up?" I asked, grinning.
Jeri sighed. "Takato, I don't remember what you said, but I hope it wasn't something mean. Like how I was stupid and pathetic the whole time and how I needed to be stronger, because I already know that, Takato, I promise I do."
I blinked at her. This wasn't the reaction I was expecting at all. If she didn't remember then did that mean he would have to explain it all again?
"After Leomon died I didn't mean to become so sorry for myself, I swear it. I was just doing my best. Please don't judge me like the others did!"
The girl gave a short bow and brought her hands together in desperation, but I found her reaction strange at best.
"Jeri, I don't want to personally attack you."
Oh god, now I'm going to sound like the biggest idiot. Why didn't I just say everything in the letter? Now I've made her worry. Think, Takato, think!
"It was the opposite." I blubbered, feeling my temperature rise, way more aware of my hands than normal, "I'm sorry about everything that happened back then. You were so sad and you didn't deserve it. If I was a better Tamer I could have stopped Beelzeamon. I could have stopped the whole thing, and you wouldn't have been vulnerable to the Chaos at all. And I felt bad you couldn't talk to me, I missed you and a friend, and also…" I blushed. If I said it before I could say it again, couldn't I? I tried to think back to the words I had used on the train. "I only used that as a way to explain I…" I gulped, "really, really like you. As more than a friend. And that probably sounds dumb because it'll be a million years before you ever like me, right?"
I laughed forcefully, a defense mechanism long drilled into my brain... Like I couldn't be seen as any more crazy.
After a deep breath, I looked up and her puppy dog stare made my face burn. I wanted to reach out and hug her, to take all that pain and confusion away, and to protect myself, to protect my sensitive, wussy boy self. For once I would get a real answer to my confession instead of just the nutritional information on the back of a box.
Jeri frowned, and the words I so dreaded exited from her mouth.
"I don't know, Takato." She paused, slouching in embarrassment, "I'm sorry, I really am."
"Huh?"
Part of me was bewildered that it wasn't a simple 'no', but at the same time it was confusing that it wasn't a 'yes', either.
"You've been so nice to me all year, you're not a bad guy Takato, I can think of a hundred other boys worse than you," Jeri noted, fiddling with her finger nails, "it's just I'm not sure it'll be a good idea for us to be like that. I mean Miki and one of her friends got together once, and it ended really badly!"
In my enthusiasm I placed my hands on the table and leant forward, despite the fact it was painfully hot.
"Jeri, we're not going to end like that," I said determined, as an emotion similar to anger flowed through me, "we won't end at all, we won't."
"Yes, we will Takato!" Jeri retorted, her face a shadow of its former self, "Look what I've done to everyone already! Look at what my bad listening has done to you!" she crossed her arms, "I won't allow it."
Jeri sure knew how to be strict when it was needed. The girl glared at me, and it confirmed in my mind that looks could kill. At least, that's how I felt on the inside. Slowly, a new emotion came to be. Tears tumbled down her flushed face and I felt more powerless than I had in my life. It was even worse than those rookies versus mega Digimon battles. A thousand potential replies rushed through my head: happy, sad, angry, loving, understanding, but in the end, I settled on my true feelings.
"Okay then Jeri, if that's what you feel is best, I won't stop you." I replied, self-defeated, "But I want you to know you're missing out, because I do really like you and I will try my best to make everything work. I will go to my Mum for advice if that's what it takes."
Did I really just say that?
"Please, just believe in me, believe in yourself, and I hope I can still talk to you as a friend. I'd give you a hug if I wasn't so scared you'd crush me to pieces."
Since Jeri was not settling down and my words seemed to only make it worse, I gave a timid wave and rose from my seat. "Goodbye Jeri.'
"Hey Takato, it's dinner time!"
"Yes, Mum."
I didn't care that I was stomping on the ground, and that my dad would tell me off for it. I felt a heaviness in my chest that couldn't go away by simply ignoring it and frankly, I was not in the mood for my Mum to complain about bad customers today. I sat down at the table without so much as a 'hello', but my parents seemed focused on something else as well.
"Eat your soup, dear, before it gets cold." The woman said.
Soup. Perfect. Just what we had yesterday, with day old bread- gotta love it. I stared at my spoon and Guilmon bread. I didn't want to eat it. At least nothing went to waste anymore with Guilmon around.
"Takato, is something wrong?" Dad asked, picking at his soup, "You don't look… normal."
"Oh yeah, perfectly normal" I answered sarcastically, "What isn't normal about a whiny kid? Oh fine. The girl I've liked all through primary school rejected me today. Jeri. Happy now?"
"Oh, bummer." Dad answered, "That's a toughie. What was her reason?"
My Mum passed my Dad a disapproving look and I picked up some bread before answering.
"She doesn't want to ruin our friendship. Original, right?"
"Hmmm!"
My dad seemed as clueless as I was, but I suppose that made my situation seem slightly better. If my parents couldn't figure it out, I must not be doing too bad of a job!
"All you can do is hope Jeri sorts out her fears in her own time. If it's meant to happen, she'll come through with it." Mum explained, but she seemed to recognize the words were lacking, "I know it's hard, and if you need any extra help, come to us, ok? How about you tell us about what else happened at school for now?"
I considered it, but later Dad came in to my bedroom with a dartboard with Jeri's face on it, and I knew this was the sort of thing I had to sort out myself.
