Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any, way, shape, or form. I also do not own the cover picture for this story. Picture belongs to username Rai_Shadow on GaiaOnline.
Thanks to Serena24 for beta-ing!
SUMMARY: At the young age of 3, our lovable protagonist, Naruto began his ninja career. With a natural genius mind that comes from his father, the Yondaime Hokage, and a seemingly unlimited amount of chakra from his mother, the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero, and Kurama, the Kyuubi, he flies through the ranks and was a Jonini at the age of 5. Personally recruited into the ANBU by his adopted grandfather, the Sandaime Hokage, he gains he mask of the Kitsune. When he turns 6, he gets promoted to ANBU Captainbdue t his excellent record and strenth. At the age of 8, he is promoted to the Commander of the ANBU, answering only to the Hokage himself. Despites having such an outstanding record, Naruto is still a young child with a perchance for mischief. When he take a prank on the Hokage too far (at least according to the Sandaime), he gets punished and sent to the Academy as a student while retaining his position as the ANBU Commander. However, when his punishment ends, Kakashi, who was listed as a Jonin-sensei, pushed the ever patient Hokage a little too far with his tardiness and is demoted all the way back to being a Genin. Being the only person in which Kakashi will listen and won't be able to intimidate, Naruto is roped into being the Jonin-sensei of Team 7.
Team 7's registry is now:
Sensei:
Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto a.k.a Bloody Kitsune (ANBU Commandeer)
Subordinate (Minions):
Uchiha Sasuke (Genin)
Haruno Sakura (Genin)
Hatake Kakashi (Written Rank: Genin / Real Rank: Elite Jonin)
CHAPTER 1 – MAN, THIS IS FUCKED UP!
Hokage Tower
The Sandaime entered his office and sighed. It was orange. Everywhere he looked was orange. The only things that weren't orange were the paperwork, which he thanked the heaven that was spared or else there would be more paperwork. But the fact that it was ORANGE could only mean one thing. And that thing is that his ANBU Commander got bored again. As he went to his chair, ignoring the orange wall, he noticed something was missing. His Icha Icha book that he kept hidden underneath the desk. Oh, it was on. This time he cannot dismiss it like all the other pranks. Nobody touches his precious.
"KITSUNE! GET IN HERE BEFORE I CASTRATE YOU!" yelled Hiruzen.
Hearing the murder in his voice I quickly flashed in and tried to appear sheepish.
"WHERE ARE MY BOOKS!" said a murderous Hokage.
"W-w-well, you s-see, Dolphin dared me to and well…. Ikindaburnedthebooks", I said very, very nervously. Instead of feeling like the ANBU Commander that I am, I started to feel exactly how old I was, which is 8.
"You what?!" hissed Hiruzen.
"I kinda burned the bo-" I started to repeat.
"I heard you the first time" was hissed out of his Hokage that, if he didn't know better, he would have been mistaken what was said as snake language. Oh, but the Hokage was not done, oh no, not by a long shot. This time this had gone too far. But since Naruto was too bored and had too much energy that he couldn't sleep much and got into mischief at night and day, he'll have to remedy that. Oh, and does he have a remedy.
"Naruto," Hiruzen said very sweetly.
Oh shit. Jiji was beyond pissed. "Y-y-yes?" I meekly asked.
"Since you have so much time and energy, I've decided maybe you need to up your training. I believe you currently only have 500 or so pounds on you right now. Let's up it to, say, 1000 lbs. Oh, and to help you even more, let's also double the level of your resistance seal. Let's see, what else, oh yes, unless you're fighting your chakra is to remain bound unless given permission."
I sighed. I thought I would have a much worst punishment like being pulled as the ANBU Commander even though I was perfect for the job. But apparently I was relieved far too soon it seems because Hiruzen was not finished with me.
"That was only for the energy part. Now, for the time part. I can't force you to sleep seeing how you're both an Uzumaki and a Jinchuriki. The energy from being a Uzumaki alone would have you only sleeping for five hour at max but seeing how you're both and you only need one hour of sleep, you'll be going to the Academy. As a student." Said a very, very satisfied Hokage.
"What?! I'm being demoted all the way back to the Academy?!" I yelled disgracefully.
"No, that's just where you'll be during the day when you're not doing your job as the ANBU Commander. Since you're obviously bored, you can play at the Academy during the day. One year for every book you burned. Oh! It seemed you burned three. Congratulations! You are now an Academy student for three years! So it seems like you'll be 'failing' the first two times! I sure hope your acting is up to par since no one can know you're a ninja so you'll have to act like a 'dope' since you are to 'fail' the first two times in order to complete your punishment. And seeing how I can't send one of my talented ninja into enemy territory alone, tell Dolphin that his next assignment during the daytime would be to pretend to be your Academy Instructor", smirked the stupid Old Man.
'Okay, on one hand, I was still the ANBU Commander, which was a position I worked my ass off to get, and on the other hand, I was also an Academy student. Oh man, I was going to get laughed at. The ANBU Commander, not a regular ANBU, or even an ANBU Captain, but ANBU Commander is being sent back to the Academy. Oh the humiliation. It was bad enough to be so short that no me can take me seriously until I beat each and every one up and then sent them to my version of training. But now I was STILL short but ALSO going the Academy. I'll never hear the end it. I just know it.'
"I have a question about the 'mission' that is being assigned to me. While on the surface is seems like a horrible, horrible punishment. The fact that you're also sending in Dolphin means we're expecting hostility somewhere" I immediately switched to what my subordinate call "The Commander" mode.
"Sigh. That is correct. There are several sabotage that have been found but that fact it was several means someone is trying to limit the amount of ninja coming out of the Academy. I want you to see what's missing and also when you have your 'time-out' which I know some of the other Academy teachers would want to make sure you don't graduate. I want you to observe each and every Instructor and see which one of them is sabotaging my ninja! The future of Konoha!" It wasn't the first time the tired Hokage was surprised by what Naruto picked up from a few sentences. Sometimes Naruto was far too smart for his own good.
"I understand my order Hokage-jiji. I will accept this 'mission" I bowed to the Hokage while muttering, "oh course my punishment is a mission. Since I didn't do anything wrong per-se, I get this lovely mission because I listen to Dolphin. Hehehehe… he's my Academy Instructor eh. I'll use this to train him in patience." Naruto started to cackle like a maniac. Everyone who heard suddenly felt sorry for Dolphin. Oh well, better him than them.
Into the break room, where the ANBU's rest when they had down time, an ANBU with a Dolphin mask shivered.
ANBU Commander Meeting Room
As everyone entered right on time, I sighed. I just knew I'll get laughed at. Sigh well, can't put it off for long.
Seeing the solemn look on their Commander caused some to the conclusion that one of their precious comrade had died but a quick look around confirmed that everyone was there. That would mean he was being dismissed and they started to think of a way to get their Commander back. Not only was he responsible, he can beat all of them down even when they came at him with his weights and resistant seal on, but he was also their sunshine in this dark world that they lived in.
As the ANBU were beginning to mutter and some of them even getting angry, a massive wave of killing intent hit them. While it was easy to forget that Naruto was boss since he only treated them like friends, it was their Commander Kitsune, not their sunshine Naruto, which was standing in front of them. And suddenly, everything was quiet. That's better.
"Okay. I have NO clue whatsoever why you started acting like a mob when you saw me but since I'm bored and you guys are clearly challenging me, let's rumble. Meet me in the training field S in one minute" he said as he could do with some stress relief but at the same time this would remind exactly why he was the ANBU Commander at the age of 8. He's killing three birds with one stone, he gets his stressed relieved, he shows he's top dog, AND they get a remedial lesson. He couldn't have planned it better.
ANBU Training Field S
Training Field S (S for screwed) was a training field that was used to practice invasion, large ambush, or even war. It was a whole square mile of different kind of terrain. The fight was embarrassingly quick. There had been over 300 of them but they were swat down like they were flies as they rushed to engage the Commander in taijutu. They had tried to form a team and formation to beat him but it appears that their Commander got bored of waiting. And now Dolphin was running and hiding in some bushes like a scared little kid because he saw that grin that spelled nothing but trouble and he was looking right at him.
"Due to taking some advice from Dolphin, I destroyed three of the Icha Icha books that belong to Jiji. So as punishment, for every book I destroyed I'm going to be at the Academy pretending to be stupid. You, my dear Dolphin, will be my teacher for that period of time. Don't worry, I'll still be the ANBU Commander at the same time since the darn Old Man said I have too much time, which I can't deny but that's a moot point. And since you'll be technically active I shall make sure to train you very well while I'm in your care." I said with a less than amused tone as I stood at the edge of the destroyed training ground.
There was shock. Their sunshine was being demoted to an Academy student? And for three years, too, which meant he'll have to 'fail' to graduate. Their Commander is going to be an Academy student that 'failed' two times. It started out slow, a chuckle here, and suddenly every ANBU was laughing.
'Oh, that's it. Laugh at me would you. I'll give you something to laugh at.' I summoned a clone for each member and immediately paralyzed them and sent another one to fetch Gai and his newly acquired clone, Lee. Then set out to washing and dyeing their hair in Bright Orange. As I heard Gai and Lee arrived, I quickly changed into my ANBU gear. I positioned them so they can both be easily seen. 'Let's see them laugh at me after they sit there for an hour watching that weird Genjustu that only Lee and Gai seem to be able to make'
"Gai! Lee! Welcome. It seems my dear subordinates here are bored while they wait for their hair to finish dyeing so it can be washed out. And since they absolutely love the youthfulness between you two, they asked if you can do that until the dyeing is finished, so they may try themselves. Oh, and since they admire you so much, they were wondering if they can also have one of your jumpsuit. It's just so youthful. I will, of course pay you for your time and the jumpsuits." I said in a straight voice.
"OH! OF COURSE KITSUNE! I WILL TEACH THEM ALL ABOUT YOUTHFULNESS! I JUST GOT A SHIPMENT OF THESE JUMPSUITS SO THEY ARE WELCOME TO IT! THERE IS NO PAYMENT NEEDED FOR I WILL BE SPREADING YOUTH!" Gai yelled excitement.
"GAI-SENSEI! YOU ARE SO YOUTHFUL!" screamed Lee.
"LEE!"
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE!"
And that is my cue to go! Replacing my Kage Bushin with a Mizu Bushin since I have no desire to have any memory of seeing this. I told my Bunshin to make sure they are watching with the Eye's Open Justus that they use in the interrogation and keep those Green Creatures doing that thing they do. I'm going to come back in an hour seeing how I didn't sleep last night.
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE!"
I ran like there was no tomorrow chuckling when I remembered the horror on their face when they realized what I had planned. Good thing I paralyzed their voice box too else the village would have heard screams and think they were under attack. I made just as many clones as ANBU that I had under may command and one Blood Clone and order them to do what those ANBU were supposed to be doing if they hadn't laughed and one to guard my door while I slept.
Hokage Office:
Six Naruto blurred into the office and into the areas that they were supposed to be.
"Kitsune, not that I don't love you, but why are there six of you in my room instead of Cat, Rabbit, Monkey, Boar, Pig, and Rat?" questioned the Hokage cautiously, seeing as he knows that Naruto was still upset with him.
"Oh, don't worry Jiji, my subordinates are just doing some remedial training since I saw a flaw that must be corrected right away. They shall return in about an hour or so. Until then, I am your guard. They're all Kage Bushin except me, I'm a Blood Clone since you're so important." Said the clone that was right behind the Hokage.
"Ok-ay… are you going to be standing next to me the whole time?" said the Hiruzen, uncomfortably aware that the person who surpassed his strength and would have been named Kage now if it wasn't for the fact that the person was needed somewhere else and that he was 8.
"Don't worry too much. I promise no prank on you while I'm here this time. This is just a guard duty." Said the clone that was STILL looking over the Hokage shoulder at the paperwork.
Hiruzen sighed and continued his work. About 7 minutes into the guard shift, there was 5 Naruto walking everywhere, including the walls and ceiling while one continued to read over his shoulder. Hiruzen sighed again. This was looking to be a long hour.
One Hour Later – ANBU Training Field S
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE!"
"If I can't do 1000 jumping jacks, I will run around Konoha 15 time!" I heard Lee shout!
Deeming it safe to come out with my sanity intact, I quickly made over to the both of them. "Thank you for doing this for them. I'm sure that they would never forget it. Since they can only spare an hour, do you think you can give them the jumpsuit now so they may get back to work?" I quickly interrupted before they could get started.
"OH! HOW YOUTHFUL OF THEM TO WANT TO WORK SO HARD. OF COURSE, HERE ARE THE JUMPSUITS AND LEE AND I WILL GET OUT OF THE WAY! THANK YOU FOR THIS MOST YOUTHFUL EXPERIENCE!" yelled Gai as he and Lee sped off to who knew where.
I quickly dismissed the Mizu Bushin and replaced them with Kage Bushin since he would have to put a seal on them to keep them from taking it off for more than an hour before it re-appears on them. I summoned Anko to deal with the women while the guys were dressed.
Anko appeared really quickly but then again, she gets to torture people. When she got to the field, she could only look on in horror for about 5 seconds before she realized what was happening and promptly fell down laughing. After getting it out of her system, she happily went about dressing the females of the ANBU. As soon as they were all dressed, my Kage Bushin slapped a seal on it that will last a whole week. What they don't know is that it was also a storage seal that was invisible that I can activate at any time to return them to this outfit. Then I set them free with instruction to go back to where they were supposed to be. I was chuckling the whole time I walked back to my office to check for any paperwork that might have come in while I was out. Tomorrow I start in the Academy. Man, This is Fucked Up!
A/N: Please Read and Review! Any suggestions, comments, flames, and/or critique would be welcome immensely. Thanks for reading!
