1974 was a trying year for my family. I think a good portion of that problem was the fact that I had got promoted at work and that meant more out-of-town time for me. Before, I only had to travel once a year so my company thought nothing of it to let my family come with me, but the size of my family made it impossible for them to accomadate with how extensive my travel routine was going to become. Oliver, mine and Carol's nephew, had joined our family temporarily at that time and it was a horrible feeling to know that Carol now had seven kids to care for and I wasn't around much to help her. As always, thank God for Alice. I don't know how many times I thought of how I don't know what I would have done without her. Oliver left at the same time that Greg, my oldest son, went off to college. Our kid count crashed from seven to five and for days afterwards, my wife cried herself to sleep every night. There was a part of me that was crushed my oldest son no longer lived at home but I couldn't believe Carol was taking it much worse than I was. She loves my boys like they were her own and that's why I love her.

I had missed my wife. She had gone through as much heartache as I had when we met but her hard times never seemed to define her. Carol was the forever bubbly blonde who could light up a room when she walked in. Company christmas parties for example, I would notice other men looking at her as we walked by. I was never jealous; I would always smile and just think, "That's my wife!". I still feel that way, but life had been such a curb ball that I just blamed it on stress. I just kept telling myself that this too shall pass and that the wife I loved so much would come back to herself.

I had decided to take a few weeks off in the beginning of October. It had been a long time coming thing for me to do. I needed to get back to my wife and kids and enjoy my time with them without having work in the back of my mind. I got up with them, ate breakfast with them, did chores around the house while Carol and Alice shopped. Sometimes, after the kids went off to school, Carol and I would go back to bed and make love. No hesitations, no distractions; it was mine and Carol's time and that was the only time it seemed we went back in time. When we woke up, I would look at Carol and realize that feeling of longing, of recognizing, was still not there. The realization would hit me the hardest at night right before bed.

"Why do you look at me like that?" She finally asked as she closed her book to look at me.

"How do I look at you?" I asked as I closed my book to look at her.

"Mike, you look at me like you don't know me anymore."

"Honey," I said taking her hand in both of mine. "I know that this has been a very stressful year..."

"You're not kidding," she said as she pulled away from me. "I have, we have, been through a lot lately but I have to say when I catch you looking at me the way you do, it makes everything worse."

"Worse?"

"You go off to work, office or somewhere out there, and here I am, all by myself trying to keep things in order with the kids..."

She had begun to cry and that was the last thing I wanted her to do. I took a deep breath as I realized that this has been what I've been waiting for her to do. I've been waiting for her to open up to me.

"I mean, Oliver was a lot more to take on than I had anticipated, and you weren't there. Greg graduated from high school and went to college and you weren't really there for that, either. And I never wanted to tell you how hard it was for me to do all that almost without you but when you look at me like that..."

She buried her head and her hands and wept. I had rolled over to her side of the bed and gathered her in my arms. She wrapped her legs around my torso as I pulled her closer. As much as this range of emotions coming from my wife was unchartered territory, I knew where to stand my ground.

"Carol," I whispered in her ear as I stroked her hair. "We changed, that's all. The Carol I met years ago isn't the Carol you are now and yes, I didn't realize it until now. I do realize that I love you. That hasn't changed. That's what I am learning: I can love you through anything. I will love you, Carol."

That was when she picked her head up and looked at me. Her mascara had run and her eyes were puffy from crying. My God, she's beautiful. I smile at her and put my hands on her face.

"That's my wife," I say as I give the woman who feels brand new but I've known years ago a kiss.