I didn't find any Egoshipping stories, so I wrote one. The End.
Oh, wait, no it's not; the story's right below this.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Simon.
-O-o-O-
The people in the neighboring hotel room must've been having a hell of a time deciding whether to report them for the noise or enjoy what sounded like a very odd radio show.
There was a tournament on in the town of Backgammon Hills, miles away from Domino City. Though the hotel accommodating them had them crammed, four to a small two-room suite swathed in shades of beige and eggshell white, the three occupants found ways to make it comfortable. The room had been dark for hours, but they didn't care. The duels were done for the day, but they chose to continue their match, only without one of their tag team partners.
A device in the center of the bed emitted maniacally fast-paced musical tones.
"Slow down!" A male's voice registered higher than he would have liked it to.
"What, can't you keep up?" a throaty male voice responded snidely.
"Are you callin' me slow?"
A female voice sighed. "You're both way too slow for me. We've been at this for hours."
"Not up to your speed, Valentine?" The second male drawled the name much the way he might with "Wheeler."
"With you both being men, I'd expected it to be quicker, but maybe I was wrong…"
"Hah. Sexist comments. Real mature."
"Says the youngest of the three." The female snickered. "Are you even legal, or are we criminals?"
"I'm twenty-one, and you know it."
"Why don't we shut up and get on with it?" the first male voice snapped in a more gruff voice. "I'm losing it."
"Why don't we switch positions for a while?" the female suggested.
"Fine." The males answered in unison.
For the next few minutes after the switch, there was nothing but rustling, a musical beeping, and the occasional frustrated muttering.
"Anything yet?" the first male asked.
"Nothin'," said the female.
A discordant beep sounded from the middle of the bed. A small slap of a card against skin could be heard.
"Try harder than that," the second male grumbled.
"I'll show you harder," the first male snorted. He reached over and gave something a nice tug.
"OW! It's attached to me!" the second male barked.
"Well, you said to do it…" the first male voice taunted.
Fingers loudly crinkled a mass of hair. "Do that again and see what happens."
"I'll be gentle." The first male voice was considerably more submissive.
"Why don't we take a short break?" the female suggested.
Bottles hissed open, then clinked. After they finished their drinks, more rustling, beeping, and grunts emanated from the bed.
Then: "Oh, god, I think I'm almost there!" from the first male voice.
Followed by: "Right behind you!" from the female.
Finally: "White lightning!" from the second male. Cards rained onto the floor noisily.
All three exploded, then began to laugh hysterically.
"You weren't kidding when you said this would be an extension of today's duel," the female quipped.
"I think I fold," the first male said, chuckling softly.
Just then, they heard a click and a beep from the door, which opened. The lights came on shortly after.
The newcomer dropped his key card when he set eyes on the drab hotel bed. The sheets were scattered on the floor, the pillows were stacked in the center, and the mattress was slightly crooked. A deck of regular playing cards sat on top of the pillow tower, next to the remains of a card house. Another full deck was scattered around the bed. Next to the tower of pillows was a "Simon" game device. On either night table and on the floor was a bottle of beer.
Even stranger were the people on the bed. Mai Valentine, Seto Kaiba, and Bandit Keith sat around the tower of pillows. Keith was reaching with his left hand for the ace of spades, which was taped to Kaiba's forehead, while his right hand pressed the buttons on the Simon game. The joker card was stuck to his chest. Kaiba brandished a rubber chicken and was in the process of kneeling over Keith's lap in a rather intimate way. Mai sat next to them, holding a hand buzzer. All three sat next to hands of cards, which lay on the bed. All three reeked of alcohol. All three were naked, or nearly naked, since Kaiba still wore his arm buckles.
It was like some novice artist's attempt at an edgy still life. That is, until the three turned to see Joey Wheeler, whose jaw looked ready to disconnect itself from the rest of his face.
"What…" Joey said.
"We got bored after the duels," Mai said, sliding closer to Keith. Keith put his arm around her waist, then Kaiba's.
"The competition wasn't as…stiff as we liked," Kaiba added, his hands moving to Keith's thigh. Keith grinned and lowered his other hand to Kaiba's backside. The card fell off of his chest and into his lap.
"So we made our own challenge," Keith finished. The card in his lap flicked across the bed, but his hands remained firmly in place.
Joey tilted his head like an owl. He let his jaw work its way back up to its original position before speaking.
"Can I join?"
-O-o-O-
I think I might have created a new four-way ship. I couldn't find a name for this grouping anywhere.
