Disclaimer: Thor©Marvel
Warnings: angst, mention of canon "death," hurt/comfort with emphasis on the "hurt" side
Notes: Written for Dreamwidth's hc_bingo Round 2, the prompt being "grief."
Epithet
Asgard celebrates the return of Thor, the awakening of Odin, and the fact that Jotunheim was not destroyed in spite of how events played out. They celebrate the fall of the one who would have, could have, been the end for them all. They do not truly see Odin, or Frigga, or Thor during this. They do not see the pain they share as a family.
Odin wonders to himself if he is responsible for everything that has happened. Did he mold Loki into what he had become - jealous, spiteful, willing and able to destroy an entire realm without remorse - by his actions? Had he done it through his inactions? Had he shown more favor to his eldest son, his son by blood, and less regard to the child he had saved? Should he have told both his sons the truth of Loki's birth and parentage while they were still young enough to adapt to the harsh reality rather than have it revealed in such a traumatizing manner?
It is too late for answers and too late for what ifs. He keeps his own council and attends to his wife's grief.
Frigga mourns for nearly a year. She had not been blind to how her youngest son - always her son, regardless of the fact she shared not a drop of blood with him, for she had chosen to love him - was slipping away from them, but she had hoped that her silent support would be enough to remind him that there were options. She now weeps at night, at midday, at any point where she is either alone or with only her family, for her lack of action and wishes for a second chance to make it all right, for a second chance to hug her beloved sensitive child and let him know without any doubts that she has always supported him in all his endeavors.
She accepts her husband's support, and wishes that her pain was lessened any by the fact that she did not lose both sons.
Thor feels both profound grief and undying hope. The hope is that his mortal love Jane Foster will not give up trying to find a way to see him again, that she will be waiting when the Bifrost is repaired and he can return to her side once again. The grief is for his brother Loki, for the pain and hopelessness he glimpsed in those always so expressive eyes in the moment just before he let go and fell to his death.
The loss of his brother is one pain he did not think he would ever have to suffer. Loki had always been the one to get them out of dangerous situations as they grew up, had always been capable of using his silver tongue to talk them all - himself and Thor and Sif and the Warriors Three - out of trouble when it found them. Thor had been utterly convinced that Loki would always be around, would be his adviser, his confidant, eternally his brother and closer to him than any other being in the nine worlds.
He did not realize how his jests and playful taunts during their youth were seen by all of Asgard as an indicator of how Loki should be treated. He did not realize until now, when his people celebrate his brother's death with the only sympathy coming from his four dearest friends, just how much the Aesir seemed to revile the god of mischief. He just barely keeps from breaking a man's neck when he hears the epithet god of evil fall from his tongue in regards to Loki; it is only Hogun's quick hand that keeps Thor from spilling blood in the great hall.
Thor is no longer sure if he wishes to rule Asgard. He knows in his heart that once the Bifrost is repaired, he will leave for Midgard and gladly spend the remainder of his days with Jane; Asgard will not be home for him until either the memory of his brother fades from his mind or the Aesir accept their own role in forging Loki into the man he'd become, and he knows that neither will ever happen.
