Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar. James Cameron does.
Scaring Your Boss
It was another beautiful night on what could be considered Fall on Pandora. Parker, Quaritch, Norm, and Jake were at a court playing basketball; Quaritch was playing a round with Parker. Jake and Norm, in their avatar forms, were waiting to have a turn.
"Hey Norm, you want to scare Parker and Quaritch?" Jake asked Norm.
"Are you joking?" Norm asked Jake.
Jake's face drooped for a second.
"Of course I want to scare them!" Norm exclaimed.
"All right, so we'll just go across the graveyard over there and…"
"Alright Parker, prepare to get ser-"
But Quaritch was cut off by the sound of crunching leaves. He timidly looked over to the graveyard that was right next to the basketball court. (A/N: Pretty weird that they would build a BC next to a graveyard.) He saw two lone, GIANT, figures slowly coming near them.
"Quaritch, what's wrong?" Parker asked.
Of course, he was oblivious to what was happening. But followed Quaritch's reaction when he saw something crossing the graveyard.
"Um, I'm pretty sure it's just our imagination, lets keep playing." Quaritch suggested.
And so they did. But whenever a ball went out of bounds and rolled over into the Graveyard, they would leave it for fear of what might happen. But when they finally ran out of balls, they were forced to go over there and pick up at least one of them. Quaritch timidly walked over there and picked up a ball.
But when he neared the graveyard, Jake and Norm, or to Quaritch and Parker, the giant undead Na'vi, came charging at them. Quaritch unleashed a girly scream and ran away with Parker in pursuit. They ran all the way back to Hell's Gate with Jake and Norm trialing behind them.
Grace, Max, Trudy, and Wainfleet were playing monopoly when Quaritch and Parker both came running into the mess hall, taking in deep breaths.
All four glanced up from their game for a second and then looked back down.
"What happened?" Grace said in her usual monotone voice.
"(Gasp) Big, (gasp) things, (gasp) coming, (gasp) near, (gasp) us, (Hhhhhaaaaaaa)!" Parker strained before collapsing onto the floor.
"Yes (pant), unknown figures were (pant), chasing us (pant)!" Quaritch exclaimed.
"That's nice to know." Grace replied, thinking her two bosses had finally lost it.
"Quaritch, I wish to sleep with you tonight for I am scared." Parker muttered from the floor.
Quaritch Hesitated. "Um, I don't think that-"
"But Quaritch, what if they come for me!" Parker squealed.
"OKAY! OKAY! YOU CAN SLEEP WITH ME!" Quaritch bellowed.
"Oh thank you Quaritch!" Parker said, giving him one of his girly hugs.
Wainfleet snickered. "Can anyone say yaoi."
Wainfleet and the others promptly ran for cover as Quaritch unholstered his pistol and opened fire.
"Damn Norm! That was to funny!" Jake said while clutching his stomach.
"So true, so true!" Norm joined in.
They laughed for several more minutes until they were finally able to calm down. Norm smirked as he thought of something to go along with Jake's plan.
"You know what Jake?" Norm asked.
"What?" Jake asked, wiping away a tear of joy.
"I bet you Parker is sleeping with Quaritch like he always does when he gets scared."
"Yeah, so?" Jake questioned.
"So, I bet you we could make noises outside the room and they will be up all night!"
"That seems like were going a little to far… I love it! That plan is pure genius!" Jake exclaimed, giving Norm a high-five.
Parker and Quaritch were under the covers of the bed. They were about ready to fall asleep when they heard eerie noises coming from the window and the door.
"Quaritch, what is that noise?" Parker asked in a terrified whisper.
"I don't know." Quaritch said.
Even though he wouldn't admit it, he was pretty shaken up. Outside the bedroom window, Jake had changed into a banshee costume and was scraping at the window with his "talons". Norm was banging on the door while playing scary noises on a tape recorder, and it was spooking the two men in the bedroom bad enough to make them pee. Finally, Parker snapped, he let out a blood-curling scream of terror.
Norm was wearing a hockey mask. He broke down the door and started up a chainsaw he was holding right as Jake crashed through the widow and started screeching. Both of the men unleashed a girly scream of terror and then hugged each other tight. The chainsaw suddenly stopped as Jake and Norm started snickering. It wasn't to long before they doubled over from full-blown laughter. Jake and Norm threw off their costumes.
"WE GOT YOU! WE SO F(BEEP)ING GOT YOU!" Norm cried with Joy.
Realization dawned on Quaritch and Parker.
"Fine, you guys get triple training time." Quaritch said.
"What! But that is so unfair!" Jake exclaimed.
"And I'm not even a soldier!" Norm exclaimed as well.
"No it's not, I'm the leader and whatever I say goes." Quaritch added coolly.
"But- "
"No buts! Now, off to bed, you two troublemakers have a long day ahead of yourselves tomorrow, and your going to need all the energy you can get!"
"Fine…" They both said in a glum voice, heads down, facing towards the floor.
Quaritch was looking at them with a smug smile on his face.
"Um, Quaritch?"
"Yes Parker?"
"May I still accompany you to bed?"
Quaritch was stunned for a second, but then he sneered.
"Now that this "scary" situation is over, please kindly GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM PARKER!" Quaritch roared at the top of his lungs.
Parker quickly fled the room with Jake and Norm. And with that final act, Quaritch laid back down on his bed, and finally fell asleep.
Hope you enjoyed it. Review.
