Hey guys, this is my first story on here, I made it into a one shot in a series I HOPEFULLY plan to do. it might be confusing but this is actually the ending of the series, but I think I'll do a poll to see if it's really the ending or not, but I hope to get the beginning done soon, that is if I get positive feedback, again first story so please go easy on the hate views lol friendly criticizes is accepted!
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
He held her in his arms, silent as they watched the stars streak across the sky, she nestled under his chin looking at the grass as he whispered softly, "I have to go....." she stayed silent staring at the ground as she muttered, "I know."
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done
his fingers glided through rivers of silk as dark as the midnight sky streaked by glistening stars memorizing the feel of her against him, the soft curves of her body flush against him, they fit perfectly. His thumb brushed fine porcelain cheeks painted with tears gently wiping them away tilting hr chin up to face him looking into her deep blue eyes that made him feel as if he was drowning in a stormy sea that occasionally flashed with lightning showing him the way home, to her heart....
And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
he looked down at her gently ghosting his lips across hers pulling back when she put a hand against his cheek to draw him closer, deeper into her love, the pleading in her eyes as much as he could bare as he put a gentle finger to her lips asking softly, a quiet command built on confidence and silent fear, "wait for me."
Away from here
she leaned into his touch taking his finger between her teeth looking at him meeting his stare with one of her own, her eyes sad and knowing as she whispered, "always."
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
she looked out upon the window watching the rain slowly patter down on her lonely country home, how long had it been since she'd heard form him? She wondered looking out upon the heavens covered in gray making her wonder if that's what her heart looked like after all it's neglect, she could practically feel the cobwebs that had grown over time, the time he'd been away.
But even with him gone, she still held the memories close, so in a way she knew she was never alone, he was always there watching over her.....
Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
he looked out at the rain, at the moon shining brightly on his face as he closed his eyes, it might be the last time he saw the moon, the last time he was alive, he had learned early to savor every moment, every memory, every THOUGHT , because you never know if you'll get the chance to feel anything but pain ever again.
But mostly he didn't think of the moon, mostly he didn't think of anything else besides living, anything but her. He smiled softly wondering if she was looking up at the same moon thinking of him, wondering if he was still alive, and cursing him as he had been cursing himself for answering Fate's call when they could have run away....
can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
He thought of all the pointless fights before he left, how tears had fallen from her beautiful eyes shattering like diamonds as they hit the ground, shattering like her heart as she begged him not to go, arguing that they had enough soldiers in this stupid war to keep them busy, he had shaken his head saying if he didn't they would come for him, and they would hurt her. She said she didn't care so long as she could be by his side, it had selfish she knew, but it had stunned him beyond belief to hear. It also made him worried, would she go after him? He couldn't stand to think of her captured and tortured by the enemy, she argued more strongly saying bitterly, "maybe if they didn't have anyone answer the call of duty then there would be no need for war." he went to her then taking her hands in his saying softly but firmly, "I have to go.... I'm sorry." she looked at him sadly jerking her hands out of his backing away form him, "if you were truly sorry, you wouldn't be going..."
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
and without a word she turned fleeing from him as the tears that had stood frozen on her lashes had poured from her eyes as he stood watching after her with an agonized expression on his face as his own tears started to fall
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do
he knew he should have spent the last moments he had with her, not fighting her, but when the cab came for him, it was a tearful goodbye that pulled at his heart, there was such sorrow in her eyes, as if she had already lost him as she kissed him one last time, gripping his hand tightly as he whispered the three words that made her heart ache slowly breaking with longing and knowing he might not return to her again. Her grip loosened slipping from his, a pained smile gracing her lips as she watched him go standing alone and motionless on the porch as he got into the jeep turning to look back at her till she was nothing but a tiny dot on the horizon, it was only then that she fell to her knees and cried.
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
"better get a smoke now man, won't know when you'll need it again, calm your nerves a little...." he didn't speak simply taking the cigarette from his friend lighting up as he leaned back watching the moon, his nerves were about as calm as they would get, almost beyond being cold, the kind of thing war did to you, made you cold..... heartless.
Even if you cannot hear my voice
He smiled slightly, the thought of her keeping him alive before he frowned turning to his friend, "how do you guys keep from going crazy? Thinking bout the girl you got waiting at home?' the man turned to look at him thoughtfully knowing the words he hadn't said, what if you don't have a girl waiting at home? The man finally shrugged looking out into the night as he said softly, "You just get through each day dreaming of tomorrow, wondering id you're gonna live to see another sunset or your momma's smiling face, wonder what it's like imagining having a good girl at home waiting for you with open arms. Or trying to balance hatred and jealousy if you find her in the arms of another.... he sent the young man a sharp look saying softly with an old aching wisdom, "it's not her fault if she is unfaithful to you, falling in love with a soldier has it's price, hers is set too high, if you come home to find her with another, it wasn't because she was lonely or nothing, it was because she thought you were dead....... you can't hold onto a ghost young man.... that's why I go on fighting every battle, so that way I can home to her and fill the empty space I'd left in her heart in the first place. That's the only real gift we can ever give to make up for what we've done to hurt her." The young man sat in silence watching as his comrade stood walking toward the entrance of the tent pulling back the flap looking out into the night that was suddenly colored red with gunfire and smoke as the man said quietly, "come on, time to get to work.... and pray we survive to see another wretched day in this hell hole....." the young man nodded flicking his smoke putting it out with his boot, as easily as my own life he thought as he walked to his friend's side saying softly, "one step into Hell only leads us closer to Heaven...." The man grinned clamping a hand on the others back, " That's the spirit little smartass, to go up first you have to go down....." The younger man nodded looking up at the moon one last time, one thought filling his head.... Emily.
I'll be right beside you dear
she knew he was dead, she knew it long before they brought her the letter, she'd known it since the night she'd woken screaming and in tears, shaking violently from a winter storm of horrors and blood, saw how he had died, saw her holding him in her arms, all the times they could have spent together, all the things they would have done, all the false promises of when he came home..... Gone in an instant.
She stood tall unmoving when the man came to the door, she stared emotionless into his eyes pulled with more strain and tired by many battles, she carefully took the letter and the box inside slowly closing the door behind her after sending the man away as she turned sinking to the floor holding the box close to her chest looking down upon it, a river of tears beginning to fall from her cheeks as she carefully opened the box.........
Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
Guns fired overhead painting the sky a hazy gray, she didn't even blink as they lowered him into the ground, the flag folded and bloodied covering an ebony wood coffin, she tuned out the preacher's words lost in the words of the past, the plans they shared for a a future that would never be, and finally, finally they could leave. She looked down upon his grave one last time, contemplating, she finally threw down the rose watching it rest upon his grave as she longed to do, but she only looked down saying coolly, "Don't make promises you couldn't keep asshole...." and without another word she turned, and disappeared into the night, Gunfire and darkness lighting her way.
I can hardly speak I understand
even when she seemed so heartless at his funeral, so unfeeling to the cold around her, it was hard to be heartless when you're choking through tears she thought through her own blurry vision as she swished her drink about watching the amber liquid in the glass looking up to the war couples on the dance-floor, she saw someone walking toward her, she was numbed beyond the point of caring as she accepted the man's hand letting him lead her to the floor, but it was a mistake, every man she saw, every time she danced, all she saw was him....
Why you can't raise your voice to say
She looked at the gun that night, felt the cool metal pressed into her hand before she looked up at the picture of him she'd kept above their bed since his death, her friends had said move on, her family had begged her to come home, her heart had ached wanting to be by his side, she smiled softly gripping the letter close in her hand, she was going home.... soon.
Slower Slower
Don't do it Emily..... A single tear rolled down her cheek, "I'm sorry....." she couldn't go on without him, how could he ever ask her to? After all he had put her through, when he had left her already, did he think she would let him go that easily?
We don't have time for that
she shivered closing her eyes feeling his presence with her, a comforting cold surrounding her like a winter blanket, his voice a soft murmur on the wind, "I'll always be with you, this isn't the way Em, I'll be with you soon.... not like this..."
All i want is to find an easier way
"Without you I have nothing, you shouldn't make promises you can't keep..." she muttered choking back the tears gasping when he gently wiped them away, "That's not true, you have your friends, and you have your family, and you have a chance at the happiness I couldn't give you, you said it yourself I'm not worth anything you could give me after all the pain I've caused, all the grief I felt after leaving you alone, when I should have spent all of the last moments I had with you. Why should you throw your life away from me?" she stayed silent clutching his picture close, "It doesn't hurt any less, doesn't take away the agony Life left on my shoulders by taking you from me, and not being able to do anything about it......"
To get out of our little heads
"Emily...." he said helplessly seeing the resolve in her eyes, the sadness in her smile as she slowly lifted the gun to her head, "Goodbye Jake......"
Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
They found her face down on the pillow, a picture of him held close to her heart, the gun lay smoking in her outstretched hand, a letter on it's side that said..... Forgive me.....
Even if it's just for a few days
They buried her next to him, tears pouring behind veiled faces, others saying how his death had driven her to madness, but how she had foolishly loved him to the point where she saw no other reason to live, blind to the ones who truly loved her, but no matter what they said, it wouldn't change a thing now.....
Making up for all this mess
He held her in his arms looking down at her smiling softly kissing her hair nuzzling it as he whispered, "You're so stupid....." she was silent in his arms staring down at everyone she once loved and still did, yet she felt no remorse in her choice, only an odd kind of happiness as she replied quietly, "I know....."
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
