So basically I've been watching reruns of Gilmore Girls on E4 and I had an urge to write.
I'm not massively happy with it but thought I'd post it anyway.
It's Jess' POV during 'Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ringing Out.'
I'm considering writing Rory's POV.
He knows she's broken.
When she smiles, it's not the same smile she once had. It's forced, polite, restrained. It's not warm, or open, or honest (innocent)any more. He tries to ignore it, and gives his own false smile (though he's pretty sure it's more of a grimace) as she leads him into her bedroom.
It's harder to ignore the empty bookshelves, the stack of fashion magazines on her bedside table and the designer bags thrown haphazardly into her open wardrobe. But when he tells her about the Subsect, her face lights up and, just for a second, he feels like he's 17 again, arguing about the Clash and Allen Ginsburg.
'So Courtney, what about you?'
He realises with startling clarity that their roles have been reversed, and it's a sickening feeling. She was always supposed to be put together, fastidious in everything she did, and entirely hopeful that anything she wanted would be accomplished.
At the time he'd mocked her for having her life so organised, said she probably had a 5 year plan and laughed when she blushed tellingly. Now he wonders when she went so far off course.
And when her boyfriend shows up, he has a sudden flashback to another blonde boy with the same self-satisfied smirk who failed to grab her attention, and his heart sinks as he sees just how far she's fallen into this upside down world of DAR events and cocktail parties. She's not Rory any more, but Ace. He wonders when she began to need a nickname to remember how incredible she is.
He wonders when movie nights and hot dog stands lost their sparkle for her, and he can't help but revert to the sarcastic, tough, insecure 17 year old boy he was when they met, just for a second.
He catches her eye in the restaurant as her boyfriend prattles on about Hemingway, and silently wonders if this guy knows anything about the Rory Gilmore he fell in love with.
'You know, Ernest has only lovely things to say about you.'
It isn't until afterwards that he realises the Rory Gilmore he fell in love with was never that silent for that long, and definitely wouldn't put up with a Huntzbergertelling her what to order. He can't pinpoint exactly what's missing, but she's lost her...muchness.
And when she follows him outside, just for a second he hopes she's come to her senses. But as she begins to defend the asshole sitting in that bar, he can't control himself any longer.
And as she replies 'I don't know' to the question he's been asking ever since he walked through those gates at her grandparent's place, his heart breaks for her.
Because now, he sees the truth.
Alice has fallen down the rabbit hole, and he's not even sure if she wants to be saved.
