The mayonnaise sat right in front of my computer.
Why didn't either of us foresee what was inevitably coming next?
It didn't take long for Erin to trip and spill mayonnaise all over my keyboard.
See, she stood up and shook her hair out, splattering everything with the off-white goop. I laughed and she said, "Catch some in your mouth!" She shook her head harder and hit me right in the face.
"Gross!" I said, and smeared my mayonnaise-y hands on her face. She laughed and tried to retaliate, but I stepped backward and she fell, anticipating a collision with me that never came.
Instead, the mayonnaise jar exploded all over my keyboard.
"Oh no," she said, and picked up the jar quickly. "I'll get some paper towels."
She took the jar and stuck it in the fridge. I just watched her for a second as she pulled out a roll of paper towels. When she turned back, I quickly looked away. I'm not stupid.
"We're never gonna get this clean," I say now, as she wipes her hands on a paper towel and reaches for my keyboard.
"Well, let's just clean up your computer, and maybe we can get another keyboard. There are a bunch of extra desks. You could use an empty one." She says, and wipes up the mayonnaise splatters on the computer screen. I unplug the keyboard.
"Should I just throw this out, then?"
"I guess…" she says, giving it another once-over. "I don't think we can save it."
"We should honor it," I say. "It did its civic duty."
She laughs. "Yeah! We'll give it a proper funeral. Now go find another keyboard."
I set the keyboard in the break room, just so we won't forget. Lucky for me, there's an extra computer in the annex. I take the keyboard, blow off the dust, and plug it into my computer. Erin is sitting in my chair, looking at the walls.
I start laughing when I see what she's looking at. "You got mayonnaise EVERYWHERE!" I tease.
She pouts. "Not everywhere. It was mostly on your desk. I cleaned it up."
"Well, you should definitely get on cleaning the walls." I say, still laughing at her.
"Aren't you going to help?" She holds out the roll of paper towels.
"I didn't make this mess. It's your fault."
She shoves me and thrusts the paper towels at me until I take them and help her clean up.
It's a little annoying, how much of a pushover I can be for her.
