The story begins just after Alec's dialogue with Maureen in the books, and from there on, it's AU.

Disclaimer: I'm not Cassandra Clare thus own none of the characters.

Notes: 1)I'm sorry in advance for any OOC elements, or mistakes of any type. (Feel free to point them out, I'll be really grateful and fix them immediately.) Also I'm sorry if it's boring/not good xD.

2) The POV is 3rdpersonish, but usually centers on someone. In that case, there will be a name at the beginning of the paragraph to avoid confusion.

3) It isn't completely clear (I think), but in the books, the break up probably takes place at late morning, or noon. However, because I messed up, and forgot to check the timeline until it was too late, let's just assume it was afternoon, and the "I'll be out all day" that Magnus said, refers to the next day. Sorry!


CHAPTER 01 – Left Behind


ALEC.

Day 1. Evening.


"So there is nothing left for me…" he whispered to himself and turned his back on her. The mad child ignored him completely, not that he cared. If she had attacked him then, he couldn't have found it in him to fight back to save his life… He felt his soul cracking, the pieces that broke at Magnus' words, falling apart at last after the numbness caused by the shock subsided, and the desire for revenge abandoned him. He could only go as far as the last place he saw him. "I will not cry…" he muttered, his voice brittle, while unbidden images filled his mind…

His father, preaching that Shadowhunters must be strong, put duty above all and never get affected by their feelings… He had done the exact opposite. Not only had he allowed his feelings to rule him, but he would have readily abandoned his duty, and even his marks, for the sake of the Warlock. He still would… But that didn't matter now… Nothing did…

Jace, with his "to-love-is-to-destroy" drama… He laughed mirthlessly. 'How right he was after all…' Even if Jace himself had escaped his grim "prophecy" in the end, Alec hadn't. He had loved Magnus more that he thought possible and now was paying for it.

Magnus… "Not that it changes anything…" "But… if you really loved me, it would." he whispered in a broken voice "Wouldn't it change everything?" 'He doesn't.' a cruel voice echoed in his head. 'Look at yourself. You actually believed, someone as perfect as him would love you? You were trivial at best. Just a footnote. And a disappointment at that.' a sob fell from his lips and he collapsed on his knees hiding his face in his hands.

'All I've even done is let everyone down…'

His witchlight left his trembling hands once more, but this time, no one picked it up. Registering that, everything hit him like a wave, hard enough to knock the breath out of him. He gasped and his defences collapsed, as he burst into uncontrollable convulsive sobs that stole the breath from his lungs.

'I disappoint everyone, every minute, just by existing… My father believes I'm an abomination, my little brother is dead because of me, and I hurt the one person I loved more than everything, more than my own life… Everyone would be so much better if I had never existed… Angel, I wish I'd never been born…'


Day 1. Night.

At some point he fainted because of the light-headedness caused by oxygen deprivation and fell into darkness. Hours later he opened his eyes disorientated. "What happened?" he whispered hoarsely. His voice was ragged and his head was throbbing from sobbing and fighting for breath, and he could see nothing through the darkness surrounding him. "Where am I? Was that… a dream?" he dared think. Searching around for a light, his hand found his witchlight, discarded on the floor beside him. His hopes shattered. "It wasn't a Dream…" he felt the lump to his throat return, choking him, as the sobs threatened to overcome him again. He was about to surrender to his grief, 'What is the point of resisting? Of fighting any more? Everything is over…' but then, his phone rang, startling him and snapping him out of his bitter thoughts. He looked at the screen through blurry eyes, his tears never stopping, and in utter horror saw his sister was calling him. "Izzy…" 'No.' He couldn't possibly talk to her. She'd know immediately that something was wrong. He shut the call down, and praying she hadn't called Magnus-

'Magnus…' even thinking of his name brought more tears to the surface, and fresh sobs wracked his body. 'I have to pull it together… just for a minute…'

He typed a message to Isabelle, saying Magnus had whisked him away to celebrate Jace's return. He added, 'Can't talk right now' at the end, to ensure she wouldn't call him again, and sent it, praying it'd be enough. While his control lasted, he realised he should send Magnus a message too, to beg him not to tell Izzy otherwise. He tried to, but even at the thought, broke down again unable to repress his sobs. When he regained his composure, he found himself sitting up, hugging his knees to his chest. Breathing slowly he tried to empty his mind and calm down. He had to ask him to do this. Shaking he took out his phone and began typing, breathing slowly to keep the tears from turning into sobs again.


Afternote: First Part is over! I'm sorry it's so short! I hope you liked it! Please let me know, even if you hated it! I hope I didn't mess it up, since I rushed it a little bit because I was getting impatient, and wanted to upload it.

This story will have around 21 chapters! (roughly 20k words) The chapters won't be very long, but I won't take too much time to update them.