Summary: Grissom thinks over his feelings for Sara but will he come to terms with them?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the CSI characters used in this story im just loaning them :D I have no Beta so all mistakes are mine...all mine!
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What have I gotten into this time around I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to you had me at hello
Gilbert Grissom, Sin City's 'man of mystery' well more like 'man of illusions' or so it seemed to the whole graveyard shift. He wasn't exactly open but he wasn't exactly unreadable either. Of course one person knew him too well probably because she was a mirror image of himself, she could control herself but to the point where holding everything in was just bursting to come back out whereas he could hold it in and keep it there even if it did tear him up inside, no one knew and it was their hidden difference. He observed this and he accepted that she probably wouldn't change but Grissom thought that he could be her shoulder to cry on, something to ease her pain ever so slightly.
Wallowing in self pity and entomology textbooks, unusually, kept him alive outside of work until she walked into his life, now its self pity, entomology textbooks and regret. He wished he had taken a different approach, he wished it could have been a dream but most of all he wished he could face up to it and just take the chance he has with her. Is it too late? Often the question that buzzed around his head, somewhere inside of him he hoped that the answer would just appear in front of him. Thinking, hoping, praying, that he would realise what he has to do. Of course the only way to really find out is to ask her. Closing his eyes was all he needed to envision the beauty that struck him across the face when he first laid eyes on her all those years ago at one of his lectures, the beauty known to him as Sara Sidle. It was a joke really, regretting this, Grissom hadn't lost his chance because he wasn't sure what to do about this and well he wasn't even completely sure if he had lost it but Grissom was afraid. Of what was still unknown, especially to him. He knew what Lady Heather had said was true, his real fear was being known. Out of everyone he loved a cared for, he knew Sara was the one to take on the task and more than likely complete it. Being scared of being known was a factor but the realisation came to him that he wasn't entirely sure if he knew himself.
I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours It's simply radiant, I feel more with everyday that goes by
If he had a particularly bad night out in the field, Grissom would just head for his Denali after shift and take a drive towards Lake Mead. The soothing air came as a release for him; it was like a chasm that made him forget his job, his friends, his feelings, and everything around him, well all except Sara. Nothing new though, she's always been a part of him. Unusual as it sounds, she's been with him the whole time whether it's physically or emotionally and she always held that grip around his heart that made him feel different around her and that smile that simply made the room collapse around them making him feel like there is no one elsein the world. He wasn't sure on whether it was love or just an infatuation. Love, well there's that word again, Grissom couldn't tell if that was what he was feeling or not, mainly because he's never felt so close to someone before, so close to experience those emotions. Ha! What good was it to him anyway, he couldn't love Sara the way she deserved to be, and he didn't have anything to offer her that would be worth having. She'd soon regret it and walk out of his life, a plant not making a damn bit of difference second time round. These were his thoughts every time he doubted whether it was the right thing to do or not, the thoughts that pushed her away just to protect himself from being hurt but it didn't really register that she was hurting more than him and if he wanted to comfort her it would mean taking their relationship one step further. 'I'm not prepared to risk it' he thought 'But I can't just pass this off it's not as easy as that.'
The drive back was peaceful until he hit the strip heading back to his townhouse. Grissom's thoughts had worn him out, nothing made his senses dull more than reflecting on past, present and future events. All he ever did was think but when it came to doing more than analysing a gruesome crime scene he just worn his attention down to where nothing made an ounce of sense and had to retire and continue the same routine tomorrow, over and over again. What dawned on him was the choice he needed to make, the choice that most people would mark as the 'make or break' decision. Making him was what he wanted Sara to do more than anything but the fear aroused the more possible 'break' where he will finally be put out of his misery and be left with what he started with, nothing.
I know the signs are on and I feel this too none of that ever seems to matter when I'm holding you
Well weighing out pro's and con's always seemed to be a pathetic and odd reaction to making a choice because it was just another excuse to mask the real problem but now he understood the relevance for it, it vented to pain of not knowing the right answer. Grissom was sat in his townhouse, blinds drawn and drink in hand perched slightly on the edge of his small couch. He thought to write down the list so every possibility was recorded but then it made him feel desperate and weak, that he couldn't come to an answer which would decide between living as he is now or living as he is now with a beautiful and intelligent woman by his side, someone to make him happy, someone to love. Then realisation struck just as quickly as seeing Sara that first time. 'I love her.' Eyes wide and a new found energy surged through him, Grissom stood and grabbed his jacket and ran out the door.
Driving during the day was different and although the traffic was murder, the irony nagged at Grissom forming a small smile on his face, he found a peaceful serenity to it. He had no idea what to say to her when the time would come but he thought to hell with it. 'You only live once.' There he knew that if he tried and failed at least he could say he had, indeed, tried. Forget the job, forget the age gap, forget other people's opinions but most of all forget your doubts and conquer them when they return. He felt almost like a new person, like a new force had penetrated him and made him more confident and willing. He repeated this over and over building up his self esteem, edging so very closely to Sara's apartment. Grissom began to wonder that when he turned up on her doorstep would she think he was crazy or high on something. Either way he'll convince her otherwise.
Would it be okay? Would it be okay if I took your breath away?
A taller object, inanimate and plain stood in his way, blocking him from the impending interrogation that may await him once he's face to face with her. Forget. Grissom released his hand from his pocket and brought it towards the door. Knock knock. Slowly the wood creaked open and Sara stood puzzled at the figure before her.
"Grissom, what are you doing here?" She looked hyped up on coffee and under slept. He knew she hadn't even tried to go to sleep; she was still dressed in her crumpled clothing from their previous shift.
"Is it too late?" saying this to someone else relieved him a little but still didn't take off the full pressure because of who exactly these words were being said to.
"Sorry, what?" She said giving even more wavering confusion in her words and blinking hesitantly.
"Is it too late?" He repeated.
"Griss, if you're saying what I think you're saying then no, you'll never be too late." She pursed her lips then curled them to form a small smile.
"Good." Grissom stepped inside her apartment and cupped her face. Sara glanced upwards and met his blue eyes, they were filled with emotion but she could only make out passion but most of all love. He dipped his head and pressed his lips to her, engulfing her in a deep passionate kiss.
Minutes passed and the need for oxygen grew stronger and they slowly parted. He pulled her into a tight embrace and whispered in her ear. "Because I know what to do about this now."
You had me at hello
The End
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A/N: The lyrics used inbetween paragraphs is A Day To Remember - You Had Me At Hello
