A/N: here's something that I whipped up in class, oh, 3rd quarter. I think I started writing it in English, then I continued it in Math. I typed it up last quarter, and it's been edited a bit. There's nothing really explicit, but there will be...eventually soon.


Orange Soda

Chapter I


It happened in those in-between years; the times when adolescents experiment with all manner of everything. It is a nightmare handful of years for any parent. During these years, the parents of ninja children often wish their children were as complacent as those of the non-shinobi parents. It is during this time where children gain a sense of self, an independent personality, and, in doing so, transition form the world of children into the adult world.

It is also known as rebelling.

Whereas non-shinobi parents have to deal with flaring tempers, attitude, a sex life, drugs and changes in clothing, shinobi parents also, on top of all that, have to deal with death, deadly objects, weapons, injury (often resulting in trips to the hospital) and their own tenuous jobs. Those shinobi adolescents that were privileged enough to be born into Clans had extended family to ease them on their way.

Many shinobi parents of especially rowdy youths envied those such as Hatake Kakashi, who lounged around reading dirty books all day when not on a mission. He was decidedly single and childless as a result. He had never had to worry about a team of genins, making his easy-going life that much less complicated. Or, at least, that's what his life's out-look had been before the three Academy graduates had, amazingly enough, passed his test and became the genin team infamously known as Team 7. The only upside to having to deal with adolescent shinobi, aka his team, was that he only had to deal with two of them. Technically, he was responsible for them whenever they met, but Sakura, being the only female, kept her personal issues to herself; gracing her family and friends with them. The only visible testament, in the team, of her adolescence was her sudden fits of temper.

Naruto and Sasuke, on the other hand, were two very different cases in a similar, almost identical, situation. Both Naruto and Sasuke were orphans, and both were hitting puberty…and that's about where the similarities ended. Where Sasuke was knowledgeable in the ways to properly care for himself, since he used to have a family and a rather large Clan, Naruto did not. Naruto, early in his life, contrary to Sasuke, had no one. He was briefly taught, or learned on his own, the bare minimum to keep himself alive. Where Sasuke's diet was balanced, Naruto's consisted of every kind of ramen imaginable. Sasuke's clothing was reserved, like the Uchiha himself where Naruto's clothing reflected his loud personality.

Both boys just wanted to be acknowledged. Not in "the last of the Uchiha" or "the demon-boy" but as Sasuke and as Naruto.

Among all the internal problems, Kakashi also had to deal with the threats that presented themselves to the two boys. Akatsuki, read Uchiha Itachi, the reason Sasuke is an orphan, and his partner Hoshigaki Kisame, were after the Kyuubi Naruto was landlord to; and Orochimaru, read legendary Sannin drag queen, was after Sasuke for his youthful body and Sharingan eyes.

Add that on top of bodily changes, rivalries, awkward questions and missions, Kakashi definitely decided he wasn't having kids unless his special friend was very…persuasive.

It was the Copy Ninja's rule, "if you're old enough to kill, you're old enough to drink," that eventually got the snowball rolling down the hill.


"Nice decorations, Gai-sensei," Ten-ten said tentatively. Their mission, paid for by none other than Kakashi-sensei, was to decorate a training area, not regularly used, for a party. Of course, when Gai found out that it was his "Great Rival Kakashi" that had, oddly enough, sponsored their mission, Gai had gone to incredible lengths to make the decorations "worthy" and "just". Surprisingly, Gai hadn't decorated every tree in the entire place, just a select few close where a few tables were set up with table clothes, bowls, cups and other party supplies. Gai-sensei had no idea how many people had been invited to the party, even though he himself had been invited, so they assumed a decent crowd was going to show up. Knowing Kakashi-sensei, he invited a small group; big enough where those who attended to be socially polite could stand on the fringes without taking away from the festivities.

Ten-ten had had to take a nap when she finally managed to get home. Gai-sensei in his "Rival Kakashi" mode was wearing.


The day dawned just like many of the days proceeding it; hot and muggy. The sunny July morning was everything a perfect summer day should start as: the yellow sun, promising for a warm day, white fluffy clouds could be seen as vague, white shapes on the horizon and in no hurry to arrive in Konoha. Shikamaru would have a poor time cloud watching today. The early morning heat promised a hot, but not overly so, day.

It also promised a rare, cool evening. Kakashi couldn't have asked for a better day.

Team 7, after an uneventful, for them anyway (with Naruto things were always interesting), day, Kakashi told them to get cleaned up and meet him at Training Area 20 before smiling and puffing away.

"We just got done with a mission and now we're supposed to meet him at a Training Area!" Naruto, surprisingly, complained. He had four packets of ramen waiting for him at home just begging to be eaten.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"At least he told us to meet him at a certain time," Sakura said in that informative way of hers. She'd make a great teacher.

"Eh? He did?" Naruto replied. His ears had conveniently not carried that bit of information to his brain, preferring to spit it back into the outside world.

"Really, Naruto," Sakura chided, "How did you ever make it this far with selective hearing?"

"Dumb luck," their stoic Uchiha teammate stated more than suggested. Naruto had been about to ask Sakura what selective hearing was, but instead turned his attention on the Uchiha with every intent on getting into a verbal spar. They often ended with the two sparring in some remote part of some obscure Training Area. But before he could utter something that would start them down that path, Sakura punched the back of his head. Hard. This effectively made the blond eat dirt.

"Really, Sakura-chan," Naruto mumbled, rubbing his head and wincing when his fingers came across a growing, tender knot on the back of his head. Eh, it'd be gone soon. "Was that really necessary?" The blond was gingerly getting to his feet. Blue eyes met green ones and Naruto, for all his willpower, looked away first. There was just something unsettling about the eyes of a hormonal, obsessed, angry ninja teenager.

Sasuke snorted; regally of course.

Six o'clock that evening found Team 7, and many other teams, gathered around the, surprisingly, and well done, decorated Training Area. Kakashi, much to the genin's surprise, was standing at the forefront of the group.

"Sensei?" Sakura asked, clearly confused. Since when had her sensei ever shown up anywhere on time?

Naruto by now had figured out what was going on after checking his calendar while downing ramen as a thirsty man downs water. The short, blond Hokage in training grabbed Sakura's arm and dragged her behind Kakashi.

"Naruto!" she hissed. "What are you doing?"

Naruto shot her a foxy grin. The whisker marks on his cheeks impeded the attempt at being innocent. He whispered, "Sakura-chan; don't you know the date?"

Confusion was apparent until sudden comprehension flickered into a roaring blaze in those green eyes of hers. For being obsessed, she sure had to think before her brain came up with the precious information most girls had memorized early on in their lives. Some still in the Academy knew what today was, despite them being out of it for a while.

"Ah!" was all she said as she took her place next to Naruto behind Kakashi.

Kakashi, deciding that the ruse of reading was transparent, deftly, with much practice, put the book away. Without the Sharingan, the Copy-nin could see that Sasuke was curious, wondering why everyone was here, and apprehensive because he didn't know what was going to happen. It was time.

"All right, guys," Kakashi happily said in his bored tone. "I think it's time. Naruto, perhaps you should lead?"

Naruto smiled. "Ready?" the number one loud mouthed ninja of Konoha asked. "Go!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SASUKE!"

The last of the Uchiha in Konoha blinked, face lax and mouth slightly open. He had been expecting almost anything but the happily exclaimed statement. No one had cared enough since the destruction of his Clan to throw him a party. Sure, people gave him gifts and pastries, Naruto had occasionally picked a fight with him and they had sparred all day, but other than those fights, no one had truly desired to give him company on his birthday; only curry favour with his name.

This oddly enough, brought Naruto into a strange light in his mind.

The party got going and food and drink were put out on the tables, the lights were turned up and typical party games, with a ninja flare of course, were played. It was when Anko showed up that things got…interesting.

"I heard there was a party!" she exclaimed in all her happy, deranged, exuberance. "A party cannot exist without alcohol!"

It was at this proclamation that Gai, very seriously, confronted Kakashi.

"My rival," the green spandex wearing man began, "do you not think that our youthful students are too young to drink?"

"Old enough to kill, old enough to drink," Kakashi mildly replied.

"My sentiments exactly!" Anko crowed as she spiked the punch.

Gai gathered up his students and politely excused himself…what with Lee being a natural drunken master; he thought that alcohol and youth should not be mixed.

It turned out to be a more entertaining night for the jounins as the younger shinobi got more and more inebriated. Kakashi expected that Naruto was acting drunker than he actually was. Hm…he'd have to ask him about it later. It was clear, however, that both his teammates, Sasuke especially, were drunk. Perhaps Sakura was allowed to taste alcohol at home; perhaps she had a higher tolerance. Either way, she was better off than Sasuke was.

She probably had more body mass than the slight, bird-boned Uchiha heir. That had to be it.

Something being broken drew the jounin's attention. It was only Ino. She had slipped and knocked a punch bowl off the table. Said punch bowl was in several large and a multitude of tiny and small pieces. Whose was that again? Kakashi pondered it as Shikamaru came over, obviously quite sober compared to Ino, muttered how troublesome she was as he helped her over to a rock to sober up. It must not be important if he couldn't remember who it belonged to. Kakashi smiled as Ino was practically dead weight, tittering and giggling and spewing all manner of professions. It was at this time that Kakashi took the time to see who was still at the party. Asuma and Kurenai were present as were their respective teams. Anko was till there and still pulling booze out of her trench coat. With the amount of alcohol she was dishing out, Kakashi vaguely wondered where she kept it all; her coat wasn't lumpy or bulging or looked weighed down. Hm…he'd have to look into that. She was like a walking bar; Konoha's Party Queen.

However, his wondering soon came to a halt when his keen gaze noticed three very important people missing. Ino would probably notice when she sobered up, but Kakashi's detail oriented mind immediately picked up on it; his genin team was missing. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were absent. Since the party was for his team, read Sasuke's birthday party, the silver haired jonin was just a tad bit curious as to where they had disappeared to. Eh, nothing too bad could happen, right? Besides, he had rigged the Training Area; the only safe was in and out was through the gate. He would know if someone set of one of his traps. Being content to the fact that they were still in the vicinity, Kakashi accepted Asuma's shogi challenge.


"So, we're back here because?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah," Sakura chimed in. "We're at a party, right?"

"We're also in a training area," Naruto pointed out.

Silence.

"Good point," Sasuke finally said.

Naruto smiled. He was going to take full advantage of this situation. Sasuke was, for a lack of a better word, drunk, and Sakura was right there with him. Naruto himself was only slightly buzzed; his body metabolized the alcohol too fast for him to get properly drunk. The blond ninja didn't know if it was genetics or…something else.

Either way, his teammates wouldn't know he wasn't drunk when it was very clear they were.

"We're going to train, dumbasses!" Naruto exclaimed.

Sasuke attempted his customary scowl; it didn't really work. It looked more like a pout.

Sakura scowled; it was working perfectly.

"I am NOT a dumbass!" she declared.

Sasuke was quiet for a minute before saying, "Yeah!" He pointed to Sakura as if this action would reiterate the words she had said that he wanted to communicate.

Naruto slapped his forehead. Is this what Kakashi-sensei feels like when they were being obstinate? He had a slightly, the breadth of a width of hair, more respect for Kakashi. Maybe. Naruto shook his head.

"Okay," he began, "this is what we're going to be doing." Konoha's Number One Loudmouth Ninja then proceeded to explain the technique behind his infamous attack. His inebriated teammates hung on to his every word, not knowing better in their state of mind not to listen or follow along with the blond as he hurriedly taught them the jutsu.

"But am I going doing this?" Sakura asked. "I'm not a guy."

It took Naruto a minute or so to understand what Sakura was getting at, his Sexy no Jutsu was designed for males to transform into females. Sakura was already a girl. Naruto thought about the technique and chakra aspects before he instructed Sakura to change a few key points. With her control, it shouldn't be a problem.

"Sakura, think of a guy's body and how you want yourself to look," Naruto instructed the pink haired Kunoichi.

Naruto had to stop himself from laughing at Sakura as her face scrunched up in thought. One would think she'd examine Sasuke…

…speaking of the Uchiha, Naruto saw he was looking at Sakura with the strangest expression. It looked almost black, but there was something…calculating behind it.

Naruto shuddered. Shaking it off, he slapped his hands together. "All right!" he exclaimed, getting his inebriated teammate's attention. "Let's do this!" Forming the hand seal, Naruto transformed into a naked, voluptuous, buxom blonde. Sasuke's Sharingan eyes copied the technique, just to make sure he had it right. Naruto poofed back.

"Okay…together now," Naruto said as Sakura and Sasuke had just watched him transform. With his statement, the two ninja nodded and formed the hand seal. Gathering chakra, Sakura molded it as Naruto had instructed and she poofed into a rather handsome dude. Sasuke gathered his chakra, but due to the alcohol in his system, had to focus much harder. His attention kept slipping to his teammates, the party the left, his family, his brother…

"Sasuke!"

The Uchiha's eyes opened wide as he focused on Naruto's voice as the jutsu took him. It was strange, feeling the jutsu working, changing him. When the smoke cleared, a pale skinned, lithe, long haired female stood before a Sexy no Jutsu-ed Naruto and Sakura.

"Damn Sasuke," Naruto muttered.

Damn indeed. Sasuke's clothes were still the same, but it looked like his shorts were going to fall off. His wide, irritated grey eyes were unfocused.

"Sasuke?" Sakura's deeper voice asked in concern.

"Shit, I'm gonna puke," Sasuke muttered. Naruto and Sakura rushed to him as he collapsed to his knees and began to vomit. Naruto held Sasuke's baggy shirt collar out of the way while Sakura gathered his hair so it wouldn't become saturated with the contents of Sasuke's stomach.

"You okay now?" Sakura asked when the Uchiha's heaves became less violent.

Sasuke scowled at the mess on the ground and spit. "I think so…"

"Sweet! Let's spar!" Naruto crowed.

Sasuke and Sakura, strangely enough, agreed.

Their sparring was vicious. Kunai, explosion tags, shuriken, Sasuke's Shadow Windmill and razor wire sang through the air as two girls and a guy battled it out. They used all manner of tricks and deception that they were taught or learned themselves. The worst wound was sustained by Naruto who took a kunai to the chest from Sakura who thought he was a Kage Bunshin. The wound only lasted a day before his skin was flawless.

Eventually, when the three of them became exhausted, they collapsed on the forest floor. A "pop!" and a pouf of smoke signaled Sakura's return to the female form; Naruto, who only knew what went on in his own head, for no one else did, stayed in his female form. It was Sasuke who didn't pouf, but slept on in all his feminine glory.


It was around dawn when Kakashi decided he needed to find his missing team. He left the mess the party had created as is; he'd pay a new genin team to do it. Hopping into the foliage, Kakashi searched a minute before finding the familiar chakra signatures and setting off. In minutes, the jonin reached a clearing…and became a little confused. There was Sakura, laying in an exhausted sleep. He could tell she would have a really nice hangover. To the right was Naruto sleeping soundly in his Sexy no Jutsu technique...odd. In the middle, Kakashi assumed the female with long dark hair was Sasuke, and Kakashi wanted to know why he was still…well…female. Naruto's condition could be explained though freakish stamina.

Sasuke, however, had a lot of stamina, but it was no where near Naruto's. Making Naruto wake up, he made the boy carry Sasuke while he carried Sakura. Leading the three youth to his sparse apartment, against his better judgment, and resettled the three of them. Naruto had practically slept while he carried Sasuke, Sasuke was blissfully unconscious in his alcohol induced sleep, and he didn't expect Sakura to wake up until much, much later. He already began planning on escaping her if she was one of those angry hung-over drunks. He didn't envy her friends, Naruto, Sasuke, or anyone else who had to put up with her that day.


His return to consciousness was slow. Eventually, when his senses came back to him, he immediately knew something was wrong. Eyes opened slowly to adjust to the light, he took in his surroundings. The room he was in was sparsely furnished and smelled faintly of dogs; had to be Kakashi's apartment.

Slowly hauling himself upright, he was aware first and foremost of a dull ache in his head. That was soon replaced with a weight on his chest. Looking down, the youth noticed his chest…his more prominent chest. Confused, he poked it and was slightly fascinated with the reaction. It was soft and pliant. He poked it again and shivered. A horrid realization dawned on him. Yanking open his shorts, he didn't see what he wanted to.

"What the hell?" He yelled in an unfamiliar female voice. Uchiha Sasuke was no longer the most sought after bachelor in Konoha of his age group.


Naruto opened his eyes and stretched. With a "pop!" and a pouf of smoke, Naruto returned to his normal, male form. Idly wondering why he had been in his Sexy no Jutsu form, his memory eventually caught up to him brain when he was halfway getting dressed. The party. The training in the woods.

"Oh yeah," Naruto said out loud. Not really knowing where he was but not sensing danger, Naruto left his room and almost walked into his teacher.

"Mornin' Kakashi-sensei," Naruto mumbled.

"Hn. Good morning," Kakashi replied. "How was your evening last night?"

Naruto paused. He passed it off as trying to remember. He scrunched up his face in concentration, acting. He really didn't want Kakashi knowing that he remembered everything, or that he was playing a game with him, because he wasn't. Naruto just shrugged, and made some noncommittal noise, somewhat resembling a grumble, and mentioned something about sparring. Kakashi gave him a long look before ushering him to the kitchen to feed him breakfast.

"Ramen?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"You need variety in your diet," Kakashi informed him. "You especially." Naruto, looking slightly crestfallen, stared at the plate heaping with waffles. Grudgingly accepting the food (Who would turn down free food?) with little complaint, Naruto piled several of the golden, fluffy goodnesses on his plate before covering them in a generous helping of blueberry sauce and whipped cream.

"So you were sparring in the woods?" Kakashi asked Naruto. The young ninja nodded emphatically as he stuffed his face.

"What were you focusing on?" Kakashi asked again.

"Hnmkfn!" Naruto responded around and through a mouthful of waffle. It took Kakashi a moment to realize that the blonde had said 'henkan'.

"Is that why Sasuke and Sakura were the opposite gender?" Kakashi questioned.

Naruto nodded.

"So why is Sasuke still a girl?" Kakashi seemingly pondered out loud.

Naruto paused; waffle halfway to his mouth. "He didn't change back?" Naruto asked nervously.

Kakashi shook his head. "I was going to ask him some questions when he woke up."

Suddenly, an angry feminine voice that definitely wasn't Sakura, shouted from somewhere in Kakashi's apartment, "What the hell?"

Naruto looked at Kakashi as he swallowed his bite. "I think he just woke up."


posted 29September2007